If your family is hearing do they sign?

[zookeeper4321]

I am seeing all to often where deaf people raised by hearing families have families who do not sign. I do not understand this at all. How could you have a deaf child and not learn sign? That's just bad parenting. Please tell me yes or no and leave any comments you would like.

Note to mods can you please make this a yes or no poll. Thank you.

 

[SxyPorkie]

I am seeing all to often where deaf people raised by hearing families have families who do not sign. I do not understand this at all. How could you have a deaf child and not learn sign? That's just bad parenting. Please tell me yes or no and leave any comments you would like.

Note to mods can you please make this a yes or no poll. Thank you.

Oh well.. i was born HOH but my parents were deaf.. so ASL was my first langauge...before I learned to speak...

 

[Opal]

I am seeing all to often where deaf people raised by hearing families have families who do not sign. I do not understand this at all. How could you have a deaf child and not learn sign? That's just bad parenting. Please tell me yes or no and leave any comments you would like.

Note to mods can you please make this a yes or no poll. Thank you.

I don't consider my parents are bad just because they chose not to learn sign language as it is their choice, they believe what they think is right after listening to TEACHER AND DOCTOR's recommended!!

 

[zookeeper4321]

I don't consider my parents are bad just because they chose not to learn sign language as it is their choice, they believe what they think is right after listening to TEACHER AND DOCTOR's recommended!!

That's not the way i meant that. Let me clarify. If your main language is ASL and your parents don't learn it, how do they speak to you? I see ppl here saying that their family ignores them and doesn't include them. That's what I think is bad parenting.

 

[diehardbiker]

I am one of less than 10% were fortunately to have famiily that is willing to learn sign language, all my hearie brother and sister, mom and dad learn sign language, all done against advice of doctor!!!! I think my parent is smart for going against doctor's advice. Usually hearies would get shock, and overwhelmed, and go wrong path.

 

[diehardbiker]

Speaking of "bad parents" I gotta agree with you, it shows completely ignorance. Refusal to accomodate them. Deaf can NOT accomodate hearing, but hearing CAN accomodate deaf, whats their problem?

That's not the way i meant that. Let me clarify. If your main language is ASL and your parents don't learn it, how do they speak to you? I see ppl here saying that their family ignores them and doesn't include them. That's what I think is bad parenting.

 

[Opal]

That's not the way i meant that. Let me clarify. If your main language is ASL and your parents don't learn it, how do they speak to you? I see ppl here saying that their family ignores them and doesn't include them. That's what I think is bad parenting.

bilingual language - everyone can do that. brought up to learn oral with my parents, and learn fingerspelling at 11 with deaf friends.

Same go to some CODA children, my deaf friends don't teach their children sign language, it don't mean neglected their children, their choice suit them the best.

I think it is cruel to compulsory for everyone as hearing parents to learn sign language just because they happen to have a deaf child. it is up to each individuals and their reasons. They will find another way of communication, like few home sign languages or pen/paper and so forth.

My father is lazy listener, and he chose to talk with me via paper/pen, it is his choice and again he is great father to me in other ways!!!

 

[Opal]

And funny enough my own parents and sisters refused to learn sign languages and they prefer on lipreading only.

My hearing husband's family, (my in-laws), as soon they met me, they went to sign language course to learn to talk with me which surprised me alot!

 

[diehardbiker]

Well, I think it is cruel to put barrier on communication! I have seen many deafies were hurt when their parents ignore them, or after long conversation then relay only one or two sentence on whats conversation is about. I think that is what lead to put deaf in position not willing to teach their hearing kids sign language. Its vicious cycle. I teach my son ASL, and he is getting good at it!!! 5 years old, and can talk ASL, many people got confused because the way he talk, in ASL structure! I know my son can talk very well, and havent develop yet with english.

bilingual language - everyone can do that. brought up to learn oral with my parents, and learn fingerspelling at 11 with deaf friends.

Same go to some CODA children, my deaf friends don't teach their children sign language, it don't mean neglected their children, their choice suit them the best.

I think it is cruel to compulsory for everyone as hearing parents to learn sign language just because they happen to have a deaf child. it is up to each individuals and their reasons. They will find another way of communication, like few home sign languages or pen/paper and so forth.

My father is lazy listener, and he chose to talk with me via paper/pen, it is his choice and again he is great father to me in other ways!!!

 

[Opal]

I think that is what lead to put deaf in position not willing to teach their hearing kids sign language. Its vicious cycle.

It don't happen to my family, my children loves to learn sign languages as one of them hopes to become terp one day.

(This year my hearing daughter was chosen by Deaf School to support them to translated a children book into video sign language story teller, her school friend wrote the book as author. )

My deaf friend was brought up oral by her family, we grew up in boarder school, and she told me her parents changed their minds and learn to use BSL fingerspelling because they realised it is easier to communicate with her, I envy of her. It surprised me very much because it took them 40 years to learn fingerspelling for the first time!

Sign language is a beautiful language!

 

[Cloggy]

There's more to it than just learning it.

First, it might take time for the parents to realise the child is hoh. In that case, lipreading-capabilities are allready in place before the parents realise that the child is HOH. Communication might then continue using lipreading.

Second, the child might be diagnosed deaf and very early have a CI. When this is the case, sign will not be a natural way of communication.

But in the case of us, we realised that our daughter was deaf around 1 year. We started sign and coontinued also when she got CI. However, she herself chooses to use less sign nowadays. She prefers speech. This means that we will not keep our sign updated. We just use it in situations where CI is not used.
But even then, when CI is off, she'll read lips (we even thought the CI was working when in fact it was off, and she talked to us all the time - for at least 3 hours..) and speak to us.

But I think that the majority of cases parents do not use sign is many times because of recommendation of the specialists. Long ago sign was not even allowed. This has changed now. At least im my part of the woods.

 

[jillio]

Usually the parent has no experience with deafness, and rely on the advise of professionals who recommend no sign or sign only in the case of an oral failure. That is the recommendation I received. I am thankful that I had enough sense to realize that what they were telling me just didn't sound right. I became aquainted with members of my local deaf community and asked them for advise. As a result, the pros were pissed off when I would take my son in for an evaluation and he would be signing, but it was a small price to pay to make sure that he and I were both exposed to sign very early on. I have never regretted my decision, and have signed for so long at this point that I find myself using sign when I'm not even in the company of a deaf person.

 

[lumbingmi]

It depends on how many there are deafs in a family. I was lucky to have deaf sister and brother. I only have one hearing brother and he is youngest child in the family. My hearing parents had to learn sign language because there are three deaf silblings versus one hearing silbling.

I often see hearings in family wont learn sign language if there is only one deaf member in the family.

By the way, is it werid why fathers always are bad signer more than mothers??

 

[jillio]

It depends on how many there are deafs in a family. I was lucky to have deaf sister and brother. I only have one hearing brother and he is youngest child in the family. My hearing parents had to learn sign language because there are three deaf silblings versus one hearing silbling.

I often see hearings in family wont learn sign language if there is only one deaf member in the family.

By the way, is it werid why fathers always are bad signer more than mothers??

I asked the same question many years ago, because my son's father had such a hard time learning even a little sign. I was told that men, in general have a harder time learning all different languages, and when the child is deaf they just give up trying and expect the mother to interpret for them. Shame! They miss out on a close relationship with their deaf kid.

 

[zookeeper4321]

Ok, some great points here. I guess what I was really referring to was the exclusion. But it has been pointed out that lack of asl doesnt have to mean exclusion if there are other modes of communication. However, I don't get the stories where the parents seem to ignore the kids. But that happens with bad parents even when the child is hearing. There will always be good, bad, and mediocre parents. Grrr. I continue to learn more about the deaf everyday.

 

[MilitaryGirl83]

My parents and my grandparents do sign.. but the rest of the family they just talk to me since i can read lips and we use paper and pen if needed.

 

[gnulinuxman]

Usually the parent has no experience with deafness, and rely on the advise of professionals who recommend no sign or sign only in the case of an oral failure. That is the recommendation I received. I am thankful that I had enough sense to realize that what they were telling me just didn't sound right. I became aquainted with members of my local deaf community and asked them for advise. As a result, the pros were pissed off when I would take my son in for an evaluation and he would be signing, but it was a small price to pay to make sure that he and I were both exposed to sign very early on. I have never regretted my decision, and have signed for so long at this point that I find myself using sign when I'm not even in the company of a deaf person.

Good job, Jillio! Yeah, I would totally agree with you on that.

Yes, it is great if a deaf person can learn to speak orally. The thing that often gets left out is the fact that kids, deaf or hearing, can grow up bilingually. I wish the either/or attitude would get dropped because the "use both" approach is probably in the child's best interest.

I asked the same question many years ago, because my son's father had such a hard time learning even a little sign. I was told that men, in general have a harder time learning all different languages, and when the child is deaf they just give up trying and expect the mother to interpret for them. Shame! They miss out on a close relationship with their deaf kid.

I think you're right about this. Men tend to have a harder time learning multiple languages than women do. This isn't always true, of course, but it has to do with the way female vs. male brains are in the majority of the population.

Or the dad is just lazy, which is why there are so many husband jokes out there.

 

[LuciaDisturbed]

My late mother was pretty fluent in ASL and was very involved in the deaf community when I was a child. She even had deaf friends. But my dad only knew a few signs, fingerspelling. So does his wife.

 

[robbielyn]

It depends on how many there are deafs in a family. I was lucky to have deaf sister and brother. I only have one hearing brother and he is youngest child in the family. My hearing parents had to learn sign language because there are three deaf silblings versus one hearing silbling.

I often see hearings in family wont learn sign language if there is only one deaf member in the family.

By the way, is it werid why fathers always are bad signer more than mothers??

I think that is true due to the fact men strengths are in math, while women's brains are strong in linguistics. Not to say this is a fact all the time of course but as a general rule. That is why you will find women are more neater in writing, and more talkative than men.

 

[Iceriver]

My parents never learned to sign. They often tell me to wait until they are done talking to other people then tell me what its about, I would be left out and bored out of my mind, when they are done, they would tell me in few words like "we are talking about soccer" instead of telling me in details. I asked my mom million times why didnt she learn to sign? She said I dont know, I will learn I promise, but she never did. My son's Father's mother is fluent in ASL and is invloved in deaf community because her 2 sons both are deaf. I envy of my son's Father sometimes.