if your boyfriend/girlfriend cheat on you? how would you react to the pain?

Been there done that. I found out that he had cheated on me multiple times with multiple women. OH, I was LIVID!! The first thing I did was punch a hole in the wall, the next thing I did was pack all his shit up and left everything at his grandparents house. I already had kicked him out for other reasons, but after that point he wasn't welcome around anymore. No more of that.

After that I just fell apart like how could I have been so oblivious? It was heartbreaking to know I had been duped the entire time. The whole relationship was meaningless. It hurt.

I took our wedding pictures and cast them into the wind, on our anniversary I burned our wedding cake in a bonfire in the front yard. Good riddance.

But I admit that for two years after that I just completely fell apart. I started drinking heavily to numb the pain, to avoid it, whichever you want to call it. My drinking got out of control and finally at the end of my rope, something just told me, go back to church. So I did, and from there things started coming together a little bit.

But I still bear the scars from that emotional cut to my heart. You never fully get over it, and even to this day I have a desire to be with someone, but no desire for men, especially when during that two year period where I quite literally shut down and started dying on the inside, I dated some real rats. It really turned me off to marriage, let alone the idea of a successful relationship.

That's just how I reacted to it.
 
Dixie said:
Been there done that. I found out that he had cheated on me multiple times with multiple women. OH, I was LIVID!! The first thing I did was punch a hole in the wall, the next thing I did was pack all his shit up and left everything at his grandparents house. I already had kicked him out for other reasons, but after that point he wasn't welcome around anymore. No more of that.

After that I just fell apart like how could I have been so oblivious? It was heartbreaking to know I had been duped the entire time. The whole relationship was meaningless. It hurt.

I took our wedding pictures and cast them into the wind, on our anniversary I burned our wedding cake in a bonfire in the front yard. Good riddance.

But I admit that for two years after that I just completely fell apart. I started drinking heavily to numb the pain, to avoid it, whichever you want to call it. My drinking got out of control and finally at the end of my rope, something just told me, go back to church. So I did, and from there things started coming together a little bit.

But I still bear the scars from that emotional cut to my heart. You never fully get over it, and even to this day I have a desire to be with someone, but no desire for men, especially when during that two year period where I quite literally shut down and started dying on the inside, I dated some real rats. It really turned me off to marriage, let alone the idea of a successful relationship.

That's just how I reacted to it.
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Oh, Dixie! Been there too. I didn't turn to drinking, tho, I just completely "shut down". In and out of the hospitals with nervous breakdowns. Just couldn't handle anything it seemed. I became a "cutter" and have the scars to show for it.....It's been 13 years now, I'm over it, but never again would let myself get close to anyone......I've "wised up" (I think), went back to school for awhile, and have found that "inner peace" that I so longed for so many years. A lot of my friends can't and don't understand why I don't go out, and meet someone.....But Never again!...I'm done with it all. I may have "given up" on a successful marriage/relationship, but I haven't given up on Life.....It's what you make it, and mine is just fine!
 
Nope. I haven't been in a relationship in over a year. Like Robin, I just absolutely shut down. When you've been physically and emotionally abused then come to find out that he's cheated on you multiple times with multiple women, you just hit rock bottom and you become an emotional mess. You feel worthless, unlovable, undesireable, and every other negative word you can come up with. At that point, not just a piece of you dies, your entire spirit begins to die.

My parents don't understand why I don't go out much anymore, they don't understand why I have no desire for another man in my life.

After a wreck like that you really do lose faith in humanity in general. And as a defense mechanism, you just don't get emotionally attached to people, the pain was so much in the first place that you fear to go through it again.
 
Dixie said:
Nope. I haven't been in a relationship in over a year. Like Robin, I just absolutely shut down. When you've been physically and emotionally abused then come to find out that he's cheated on you multiple times with multiple women, you just hit rock bottom and you become an emotional mess. You feel worthless, unlovable, undesireable, and every other negative word you can come up with. At that point, not just a piece of you dies, your entire spirit begins to die.

My parents don't understand why I don't go out much anymore, they don't understand why I have no desire for another man in my life.

After a wreck like that you really do lose faith in humanity in general. And as a defense mechanism, you just don't get emotionally attached to people, the pain was so much in the first place that you fear to go through it again.
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You go girl! Said it the best.
 
Dump him immediately.

I don't want to deal any drama, all load of craps...
 
When you put your whole heart into a relationship and the person steps on your heart by cheating it is HARD to control the hurt and irrational thinking but if you don't it only causes more problems later....

missywinks said:
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This for example, he takes this to court and asks the judge to make you pay for repainting the car. Ouch, sounds like he got the final laugh. :(

Dump him, hope his next gf has an STD :giggle: and move on with life.
 
If it happened to me I'd die inside and wouldn't know what to do. I would never cheat on my gf, ever.
 
if i done nothing to deserve what she has done and she was not woman enough to come tell me that she did not want to be with me and she wanted another man, then we got a problem once I find out she was cheating on me. I would not make life easy for her AT ALL! but one thing I refuse to do is go to jail or die over a woman because there are to many out there to waist your self over one of them.
 
ricky_rick77 said:
if i done nothing to deserve what she has done and she was not woman enough to come tell me that she did not want to be with me and she wanted another man, then we got a problem once I find out she was cheating on me. I would not make life easy for her AT ALL! but one thing I refuse to do is go to jail or die over a woman because there are to many out there to waist your self over one of them.
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I would not even make their life a living hell. I would just move on and never look back. Just by doing that, shows you are the stronger person.
 
This is my point of view on cheating.
If someone cheated on you, they do not love you. THAT, my friend, is not true love. Love is HONEST, compassion, TRUSTWORTHY, caring, kindness. Love isn't cheating, lying, abusive, etc.

If someone has cheated on you in the past, as much as they have apologized and tell you that it didn't mean anything, it's NOT LOVE.

And I get sad when I see girls going back to guys, and guys going back to girls, who have cheated. They cheated on you once, they'd do it again. Trust me. Just like the proverb, a dog will always return to his vomit. Therefore, a CHEATER will always return to cheating. Unless he or she is fully changed from inside and out.

People can change. I know this. And forgiveness is a big thing. We should forgive the ones that have hurt us.

If a guy cheated on me, I'd end the relationship. And as much as he says he didn't mean to and it didn't mean anything, I wouldn't get back with him. Because actions speak louder than words. He says he didn't mean it and it didn't mean anything, then why did he cheat?

One of my guy friends, his gf cheated on him, and they got back together. She cheated on him again, they got back together. It's so frustrating!

Know what love is. You deserve to be cherished, not to be stepped on and abuse. You deserve to know that you matter in this world. And when someone decides to cheat, that's not showing you that you matter.
 
xspinningisfun said:
This is my point of view on cheating.
If someone cheated on you, they do not love you. THAT, my friend, is not true love. Love is HONEST, compassion, TRUSTWORTHY, caring, kindness. Love isn't cheating, lying, abusive, etc.

If someone has cheated on you in the past, as much as they have apologized and tell you that it didn't mean anything, it's NOT LOVE.

And I get sad when I see girls going back to guys, and guys going back to girls, who have cheated. They cheated on you once, they'd do it again. Trust me. Just like the proverb, a dog will always return to his vomit. Therefore, a CHEATER will always return to cheating. Unless he or she is fully changed from inside and out.

People can change. I know this. And forgiveness is a big thing. We should forgive the ones that have hurt us.

If a guy cheated on me, I'd end the relationship. And as much as he says he didn't mean to and it didn't mean anything, I wouldn't get back with him. Because actions speak louder than words. He says he didn't mean it and it didn't mean anything, then why did he cheat?

One of my guy friends, his gf cheated on him, and they got back together. She cheated on him again, they got back together. It's so frustrating!

Know what love is. You deserve to be cherished, not to be stepped on and abuse. You deserve to know that you matter in this world. And when someone decides to cheat, that's not showing you that you matter.
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Well said, xspinningisfun. I agree with you completely.
 
X2 with Brian, well said. and that guy friend of yours, pretty stupid to go together and it has occured the same to my sister who went back with the bf twice, but finally learnt the lesson and never got back. She's back to single again. Life is always upside down for people like these.
 
Yeah, and I just don't understand why people GO BACK. I was in love with this guy, and he decided to cheat at the end of our relationship and he broke up with me. That was a year ago. Of course, I'm a bit broken hearted, but as I start to think about it, I shouldn't be. I don't need that.

And besides, after him breaking up with me, I have heard stories about him since then. Nasty ones..and I'm thankful that we are no longer together!
 
xspinningisfun said:
Yeah, and I just don't understand why people GO BACK. I was in love with this guy, and he decided to cheat at the end of our relationship and he broke up with me. That was a year ago. Of course, I'm a bit broken hearted, but as I start to think about it, I shouldn't be. I don't need that.

And besides, after him breaking up with me, I have heard stories about him since then. Nasty ones..and I'm thankful that we are no longer together!
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ouch...ouch...ouch!
 
Amen! xspinningisfun, You've nailed it beautifully! :thumb:

As for me, the definition of cheating is a breaking of trust, I do not need to know why he did it either and if he did it once, he's very likely to do it again. It's not worth another roller coaster emotional ride. ;)
 
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