If you truly forgive, do you then forget?

I didnt know that we were helping you with a school project. Next time I wont be as easy to give the right answer not that I gave the right one.
 
birdlady said:
I didnt know that we were helping you with a school project. Next time I wont be as easy to give the right answer not that I gave the right one.
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A school project? LOL. No, a bit more ambitious than that. And no, it has very little to do with hearing loss. Sometimes my review team falls short because of their own hurts.

Babyblue said:
By saying that I will never fully trust the person I have forgiven. I keep my distance, so I do not get hurt again by that individual.
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Very true. But sometimes people distance themselves from those they blame for their hurts, but still do not work through it to the point of forgiveness. They then end up passing along further hurts. Very interesting.
 
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Wirelessly posted

I like to move forward with my life, no matter how much pain and hurt a person made in my life such as parent , family , friend etc.. I am forgiving , but the scars will always be there. I am learning not to hold grudges. People can point fingers on you easily, yet they don't see themselves. I am going through some issues with my family. I am learning they don't know what they are doing takes focus and patience to figure the out without being angry and upset.
 
I don't forget anything usually. I do forgive even if the things done to me or to others were terrible. I can still be furious at them but I do forgive them anyway. Doesn't mean I havn't learned anything though!!
 
No. How can we forget something that was most painful and severe memories coming from war, murder, sexual abuse, bullying, rape, domestic violence, destroyed marriage/relationship due to malicious rumors and slander and etc you name it?

If it was small and little harmful things...they are easy to forget while the years pass by.
 
To forgive is to remove the power the other person had over you may it be betrayal, cruel, gossip, stab in heart etc. To forget is to allow an opportunity to move on without fear of getting hurt again. But the wise keeps experiences in back of mind to not be in the victims seat carelessly. Like life we have the choice to learn and move on. Yet I don't pass judgement from those who can't move on. Some things can be deep and break a persons heart in million pieces and require more time to mend. I've always believed if it didn't kill you, it makes you much stronger. Everyone has a flaw so just grab a beer and sit back and reflect on all the good and have fun. Life's too short to hold grudges and live angry.
 
I am a pretty forgiving person but I don't think that always translates to being a 'forgetting' one too. I think that once you have forgiven, the forgetting just takes the form of remembering the incident less and less often, it slowly takes a smaller and smaller place in your life.
 
I'm pretty bad for holding grudges. But I do forgive. I don't know that forgetting should be a part of it. Just because you forgive someone for what they have done and move on doesn't mean that the trust in the relationship is repaired or should be.
 
Wirelessly posted

I forgive my family what they did to me. Butting in someone's conversation and leading to an arguement over it. It goes much deeper to go into detail here. All I need to move on and not look back .
 
Whew, that's a loaded question.

Is it possible to forgive and also to forget? I believe it's possible but again, it depends on how one holds it in the back of their mind that gives them a reminder or triggers the memory of whatever happened. Normally, I say let bygones be bygones and that's how I am but I also don't waste my time on letting it happen again when I know it will happen again. That's when I pray about it and leave it to God.

When you truly forgive and forget, you don't owe it to anyone to pull yourself down to their level. You just become wise and cautious, yet, you still can be a trusting person.
 
I just got new insight on the question. Forgiveness can be defined several ways.

Here is the situation with a different definition. The analogy is with the individual's relationship with God. Since God knows all, He is also willing to forgive when the individual repents, because only He knows all the dynamics behind the situation. Therefore, we have no need to make excuses to God. God also knows the sincerity of the repentance.

The situation on the human side therefore defines forgiveness only slightly differently. When I carry a resentment, and the doer does not ask forgiveness, I must seek to understand why the situation happened, and therefore come to a state of mind where I am willing to forgive. Once the doer apologizes, depending on my individual's assessment of the sincerity of the doer, it then becomes time to forget.

So, in "forgive and forget" the word "forgive" becomes contingent on apology, when the doer asks for forgiveness.
 
katz4life said:
No. How can we forget something that was most painful and severe memories coming from war, murder, sexual abuse, bullying, rape, domestic violence, destroyed marriage/relationship due to malicious rumors and slander and etc you name it?

If it was small and little harmful things...they are easy to forget while the years pass by.
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These are exactly the things I was thinking of as I posted my answer. No, I can't forget what my ex put me through (I have PTSD because of a few of the things you listed above) but I do FORGIVE him, now that it's been a few years. It's not that what he did was ok, it's that I know he's so fucked up himself that I know he can't possibly think of others and how his actions really affect them. He needs help, he needs to stop "forgetting" to take his meds, and he needs to stay away from people. I've reported him, not that that DID anything, but I did what I could and I let it go to the best of my ability and I'm healing every day. I still have bad days and will never FORGET what he did to me and the women after me but I do FORGIVE him. (Doesn't mean I like him very much though.)
 
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