I read deafness88's posts, he can't accept his slight hearing loss :(

sallylou said:
Deafness88, you have to grieve the loss of normal hearing. It's important that you don't get stuck in the depressed phase. Your life will be better when you reach acceptance of your new reality. I empathize with your feelings because I had the same feelings when I went through the process. I didn't have the luxury to stay in depression because I've got kids to rear and life to live. I suspect that you're more resilient than you're giving yourself credit for.
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I would like to see this poster participate in the late deafened thread. You guys have had so many great suggestions and help for completing that grief process. I'm sure he could gain some benefit from all of your wisdom and experience.
 
jillio said:
I would like to see this poster participate in the late deafened thread. You guys have had so many great suggestions and help for completing that grief process. I'm sure he could gain some benefit from all of your wisdom and experience.
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He has been a member since 06-26-2004 , should he not have come to terms with it a little by now.
 
Bottesini said:
He has been a member since 06-26-2004 , should he not have come to terms with it a little by now.
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There's a guy I know through the Internet that became deaf in his teen... and he's 40 or 50 now... and still haven't gotten over the mourning process.
 
souggy said:
There's a guy I know through the Internet that became deaf in his teen... and he's 40 or 50 now... and still haven't gotten over the mourning process.
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Maybe there is something to the old saying "what you don't know you don't miss."
 
Somehow I don't think telling deafness88 "I have it worse" will help make him feel better.

Obviously even a little hearing loss is really hard on him. Different things are hard on different people for different reasons. We all cope in our own ways and have certain things that are easier to face than other things.

I'm only mildly to moderately HOH myself so here's an analogy with blindness. A lot of sighted people freak out when they can't see as well with an old glasses prescription but for me to tell them I'm blind and have it worse than them wouldn't help their situation at all. They are still used to functioning by sight and relying on something that is at least temporarily impaired. So I can understand where they are coming from and wouldn't use my blindness to dismiss their feelings.

deafness88, hopefully you will come around one of these days and realize deafness isn't the end of the world. But in the meantime I understand how it can be tough and hope that you come to a place of acceptance for your own well being.
 
CJB said:
Somehow I don't think telling deafness88 "I have it worse" will help make him feel better.

Obviously even a little hearing loss is really hard on him. Different things are hard on different people for different reasons. We all cope in our own ways and have certain things that are easier to face than other things.

I'm only mildly to moderately HOH myself so here's an analogy with blindness. A lot of sighted people freak out when they can't see as well with an old glasses prescription but for me to tell them I'm blind and have it worse than them wouldn't help their situation at all. They are still used to functioning by sight and relying on something that is at least temporarily impaired. So I can understand where they are coming from and wouldn't use my blindness to dismiss their feelings.

deafness88, hopefully you will come around one of these days and realize deafness isn't the end of the world. But in the meantime I understand how it can be tough and hope that you come to a place of acceptance for your own well being.
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:werd:
 
I have absolutely no hearing out of my left ear and I'm HOH out of my right ear. I have to face the person speaking to me to speechread to understand what they are saying.

I can hear the lyrics to a song only after I follow along to the written lyrics. While I'm not sure what to call myself (D/HH seems to fit), I'm comfortable with it. I don't let it haunt me. I still have a job (I work with USDA), I have a fairly decent social life although I wouldn't say I go out with friends, I just go out and enjoy myself)

What Deaf Dude said was spot on.
 
CJB said:
Somehow I don't think telling deafness88 "I have it worse" will help make him feel better.

Obviously even a little hearing loss is really hard on him. Different things are hard on different people for different reasons. We all cope in our own ways and have certain things that are easier to face than other things.

I'm only mildly to moderately HOH myself so here's an analogy with blindness. A lot of sighted people freak out when they can't see as well with an old glasses prescription but for me to tell them I'm blind and have it worse than them wouldn't help their situation at all. They are still used to functioning by sight and relying on something that is at least temporarily impaired. So I can understand where they are coming from and wouldn't use my blindness to dismiss their feelings.

deafness88, hopefully you will come around one of these days and realize deafness isn't the end of the world. But in the meantime I understand how it can be tough and hope that you come to a place of acceptance for your own well being.
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I understand that he is upset for himself but he made a thread about it and then had the balls to tell me that I should be worried about having children because of the risks of them being deaf. After that, I felt no sympathy for him because it was very offensive.
 
shel90 said:
I understand that he is upset for himself but he made a thread about it and then had the balls to tell me that I should be worried about having children because of the risks of them being deaf. After that, I felt no sympathy for him because it was very offensive.
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When I was pregnant w/ Maddie, yes at first I was concerned about having a d/HH child, but only because I wanted to see that I would get the right accessibility to her from the very get-go knowing how I grew up as a d/hh child in a hearing family. But the "risk" pshhtt, whatever. The only 'risk' I see is maybe the narrowmindedness of those that don't understand and/or don't want to understand. Being d/hh isn't a health hazard, it is what is. And what's great is that there's this big culture that's come about b/c of it. I don't think your going to get that with any other sort of 'disability'.

But to be worried? The only worry I really had was - if my child is deaf, how can I give her the communication/accessibility tools she is going to need to be successful? This was before I knew about AD.com, deaf culture etc. All I knew is that I was d/hh and had grown up in a hearing world with a limited amount of success and I good amount of ridicule from hearing people.

But my DD is fully hearing, and fully accepts me as d/hh. I think she gets it even at aged 6. Maybe she sees what I have to put up with as d/hh person more than my parents realize. There are times we will sign back and forth and that's great.
 
shel90 said:
I understand that he is upset for himself but he made a thread about it and then had the balls to tell me that I should be worried about having children because of the risks of them being deaf. After that, I felt no sympathy for him because it was very offensive.
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He had no right to say that. I know many HOH and deaf women who have had hearing children, including myself. And so what if you do have a child who is deaf, are you going to the same thing my parents did pretend I had no hearing loss even when a doctor told them and wrote in my charts that he thought I couldn't hear well.

I'm sorry 88 that you think being mildly HOH is such a bad thing, I do sympathize that this might be troubling and scary, but that does not give you or anyone the right to say that. That is not only wrong it says that you think anyone else is not deserving of respect who is deaf or HOH. I wish you success in coming to grips with you hearing loss.
 
shel90 said:
I understand that he is upset for himself but he made a thread about it and then had the balls to tell me that I should be worried about having children because of the risks of them being deaf. After that, I felt no sympathy for him because it was very offensive.
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I agree that is very offensive. That doesn't change the fact that his feelings are his feelings though. It does make sense though. The hardest thing to accept in others is often what we haven't accepted in ourselves, and the hardest people to face are the people that represent our own insecurities, kind of like the closeted gay homophobe or the emotionally insecure straight A student.
 
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