I need to let out my feelings...

R

RainGurl

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The past few days I have been feeling really awful. I can't sleep (restlessness), I am just feeling totally out of sorts. I really need you to listen, give me some encouragement because I feel like I am at the bottom of the barrel right now!

I have totally be slacking on my school work. I don't even want to do it part of me doesn't even care. I am still missing my Grandma, I am just feeling like no one wants to be my friend (I have friends, it just seems like we are always busy). We all have kids and there is no time in the end of the day.

I feel so alone. This past week I have dreaded my hubby going to work...I NEVER do that. I asked him to stay home today (also something I never do). I can't seem to settle back into that routine (my normal routine). I miss my dad, I want to just pick up and move to Edmonton. I feel like I am such a waste, I have two more credits to finish then I can go into nursing which I also have no desire to do either.

What is wrong with me? Why do I feel like this? My mother and I totally have seperated and gone our own ways. I just can't stand her calling me 20 times a day for nothing. She is happy one min and totally angry the next. So I have removed that from my life. My girls are fine. My little one had a heart echo done, she is FINE! SO happy about that. I am worried about money.

SO...I feel the entire world's weight is on my shoulders right now. I guess that is all I have to say. I am going to be 27 this Aug and still have NOT done anything with my life and in the place I am in right now I don't even care (I feel like I work so hard and nothing comes to me easy). I see others they just get it.

:ty: Thank you for listening.
 
The short answer is that you are depressed. I do not know anything about you, so I do not know if you have seen a doctor or anything. I would consider this if I was you. It is not a sign of weakness. It is a chemical glitch in you that causes you to have this occur. Events in life can trigger depression, but it is a chemical thing also. There are some medications that may help. And about your mother, is it possible she is bi-polar? Heavy mood swings like that can be an indicator.
 
saywhatkid said:
The short answer is that you are depressed. I do not know anything about you, so I do not know if you have seen a doctor or anything. I would consider this if I was you. It is not a sign of weakness. It is a chemical glitch in you that causes you to have this occur. Events in life can trigger depression, but it is a chemical thing also. There are some medications that may help. And about your mother, is it possible she is bi-polar? Heavy mood swings like that can be an indicator.
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it might be a possibility because of her HIs and LOWs... i could be wrong though... but it sure sounds like it and maybe you have a mild depression/ or chemical imbalance and like saywhat mentioned, events in life can trigger depression temporarily... as well but not as bad as your mom though so please see a pyshciatrist if you haven't sought one, for a diagnose before this gets worse as the time goes on.... BUT HEY GIRL, IT IS GREAT THAT YOU NOTICED IT YOURSELF and are brave enough to talk about it as i know many people don't!!! KEEP IT UP GIRL!!! :) YOU CAN DO IT with the right kind of help from a doctor! :)
 
One point I forgot to make here. You have children...and at age 27, you have done more than you can imagine. Being a mother is the hardest job in the world, with the biggest rewards. How many gifts have you given the world? More than 2?
 
Hey there! I want to encourage you to definitely get some help. I've been there...I am now on medicine and good to go. Just know that there is no quick fix. If medicine is what you need...it takes a while to get into your system and start working. So get up and get started...help is only as close as you make it. I'll pray for you and wish you all the best!!
 
I have to agree with the 3 other ADers that posted here. I did have those kinds of episodes before ...sometimes they stay with u for a few days and sometimes they go away and everything feels lighter. However, if the weight that u r feeling is occurring daily and not going away then my suggestion would be to seek counseling if u hadn't done already.

I agree with saywhatkid..u have 2 beautiful daughters and u have contributed to their lives so u r not a waste.

Maybe your grandmother's passing (if I am correct..I can't remember if u say she did or not) probably triggered these feelings.

Hang in there and try to finish out school since it sounds like u r close to finishing it?
 
It's just been the past few weeks. I feel great. I actually talked to a counsellor today. She doesn't think it's depression at all just a phase because the loss was very hard for me. Things got put in perspective. I am doing some of my school work now and taking time for myself.

I only have two more courses left (yay for me). Plus I have migraines, I have had four this month she thinks that is also causing some of the issues. Everyone gets down at some period of time she says. When I told her that everyone here thought I need meds she said no way! I am not like this at all on a regular or non-regular bases and that it's important to allow people to have down days. It's natural and it happens. Everyone has a right to feel yucky at times. If it contiunes for months and months at a time then you have a problem. But it's been a 2 weeks.

You are right I have 3 beautiful girls. That is a hard job. I should not take that lightly at all. I am a great mom, I fight for my children and I should be proud of myself.

So I got a lot talked out and I feel great. Looking forward to being back to myself.
 
I agree with your counselor, RG. You are going through the grief process of loosing your beloved Grandma. Part of the process is a situational depression. Don't fight it, just keep walking through the tough days. Fighting it will only prevent you from healing. Walking through it may not be much fun, but once you get on theother side, your life will go back to normal.

I'd also suggest talking to your professors and lettingthem know what you have been going through lately. Perhaps they will give you some more time to complete assignments.

Look at everything you have already gotten through in your life. That is proof positive that you are a strong and capable person. You will get through this, too.:hug:
 
I think it would be great if you could at least read other threads and posts where alot of us had vented out with our feelings and you'll be able to know where we stand and we all go thru phases in life. I honestly know if you would involve yourself with us, we can be more involve with you and understand each other. I just don't see you post in any other threads but yourself. Maybe its time that you come into our lives and participate more often. how about it?

I'm sorry you're going thru that stage and hope things work out for the best.
 
:gpost: ^ I agree with RebelGirl here, btw I send you a PM RainGurl :)
 
Yeah Raingurl.. everyone feel down at times.. so I know what ya mean.. I still am feeling down due to Mom and Dad passing away.. it has been 2 months now since they are gone.. and I do miss them but I know I have to soldier on and move onto other things to do .. I kind of need some kicking in the bum to get going on some issues to deal with and etc.. ahh.. I also hope Mom and Dad are guiding me somehow.. who knows if your grandmother is guiding ya somehow? She could help ya with something and get ya pointed in that direction eh?
 
Raingurl, after reading your post take a deep breath , relax yourself and focus your mind. You have accomplished a lot , your a wife, mom and with a goal to finish nursing. You mentioned your grandma that you miss that can play a major factor of what your going through. I don't know what happened to your grandma, if you lost her if so sorry to hear. Thinking of her can distract you from your daily routine when you think of a loved one.

Be patient life will get better and do continue to talk to your counselor.
 
Rainy hon

i have been through hard time myself with my depression for 3 months now it is VERY longest one i have been through than it was before

i think you have been through some grief i have greived about a good friend of mine who died almost 3 years ago this july i miss her terrible just like you miss your grandma also
so hang there hugs
 
RG- I know the feeling of losing someone you love. I have gone thru same thing yea it take a while and then I got back to where I was. Still I have a good memories of my mom. I am moving on with my life and her gift of love for all of her kids is the best thing I can hang on to.
 
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