Okay, I know I'm late to the party but I just HAVE to let you all know my sure fire way of finally getting them to leave me alone.
They were coming by every other day at around the same time. Same people and everything.
Each time I was polite and told them that I already had a religion, that I wasn't ready to change, and to be safe on their travels. Each time they left me Watchtower booklets.
The fifth time they came around, I finally stepped out on the porch to have a discussion with them. The topic was "Do I think that I can change the world from all of the evil?" (as she held a booklet with the title of the same question on the front) ~ I said that I don't think I can change the world because all of the negativity and bad things that are happening is what I want.
She gave me a questioning look. I told here that all of this sin was a necessity. Again she looked at me funny. I went on about how this evil that was going on in the world is "my" religion controlling it all. I asked her if she was interested in learning more about "my" religion. I told her that we have meetings but the location was secret and that she can only come if I bring her. I told her that Satanism is nothing to be afraid of, that as long as your soul is promised and you give the ultimate sacrifice, you will be promised a place in hell. By this time her partner had retreated to the sidewalk and was calling her to leave.
She had this look of fear in her face and started to back off. She said "No thank you" and started to step backward. She turned around and began to walk quickly away. I followed her down my driveway and told her "BUT WAIT! I have so much more to tell you, why are you leaving?!? Come back!!! Give me a chance to open your world to something enlightening!!"
She and her partner never came back.
And no, Im not really a Satanist.