I have a question...

whatdidyousay! said:
People that care what others think could be doubting their own judgment or think they're being personally attack as being a 'bad' person. Some people can't
separate their emotions from their reasoning. I wish I could spell better to use words I want to use!
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I know what you are saying and I agree. I think a lot of that defensiveness comes from the fact that they are trying to convince themselves, more than anyone else, that they are right. So, when someone suggests that they might see things a different way, and that a social phenonmena called "audism" is responsible for the way they are seeing things, they get frightened. Their fear comes across as arrogance.
 
jillio said:
I know what you are saying and I agree. I think a lot of that defensiveness comes from the fact that they are trying to convince themselves, more than anyone else, that they are right. So, when someone suggests that they might see things a different way, and that a social phenonmena called "audism" is responsible for the way they are seeing things, they get frightened. Their fear comes across as arrogance.
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Or it could be guilt parents is feeling for not making the right decisions their child and then get on the defensive. My dad felt guilty for not making the right decisions for me and he was on the defense when he finally realize it.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Or it could be guilt parents is feeling for not making the right decisions their child and then get on the defensive. My dad felt guilty for not making the right decisions for me and he was on the defense when he finally realize it.
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**nodding** And many parents in that position don't realize that their kids understand they did their best and don't blame them. But the parent blames themselves, and instead of dealing with it and just saying 'I'm sorry" they get defensive and the relationship gets even worse.
 
I think in answer first question, jillio, it's same like when my dad starts sentence "I'm not racist, but..." then say something so racist. You say "dad that's racist" he act offended, say not racist, just point out truth. His views racist, but he believe he not racist person...he just happens believe racist things. Is same same to me, not to him. I think same here...audism universally thought of as bad here, so nobody wants be called audist (funny my auto correct change audist to sucker). Denial!
 
sunny_signs said:
I think in answer first question, jillio, it's same like when my dad starts sentence "I'm not racist, but..." then say something so racist. You say "dad that's racist" he act offended, say not racist, just point out truth. His views racist, but he believe he not racist person...he just happens believe racist things. Is same same to me, not to him. I think same here...audism universally thought of as bad here, so nobody wants be called audist (funny my auto correct change audist to sucker). Denial!
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I think hearing people automatically assume that "audist" is bad.

However, as in with the racist example that you used: if you believe that things that are inherently racist in nature are true, then you are a racist. If you believe that things that are inherently audist in nature are true, then you are an audist. If you claim not to be a racist in spite of that, then you are showing that you know racist beliefs are wrong to hold. If you claim not to be an audist, yet do not seek to change those beliefs that are shown to be audist, then you are showing that you know that audism is harmful and wrong.

My problem is people that recognize it, know that it creates problems, yet hide from their own audism instead of seeking to change it. Fine, you want to hold those beliefs, you certainly have the right to do so. But with that right comes the responsiblity for owning up to those beliefs.
 
Sometimes I use google as my spell checker. It's not meant to be a spell checker, but its the best one for me. Sometimes my word processor and dictionary.com don't have a clue as to what I'm trying to spell.
 
posts from hell said:
Hey, I have a secret..... I wish I could spell better too. I love the spell check in my browser.
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Yeah! It's got nothing to do with deafness, though. All hearing people I know use it, too. You know, hearing people are taught to spell phonetically. And phonics for English is so inconsistent, that you really can't rely on it.
 
jillio said:
Yeah! It's got nothing to do with deafness, though. All hearing people I know use it, too. You know, hearing people are taught to spell phonetically. And phonics for English is so inconsistent, that you really can't rely on it.
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Ain't that the truth.
 
Banjo said:
Honesty is the best policy. It does bother the people who are accustomed to sugarcoated opinions. Bluntness is a concept they are unfamiliar with. Often, the deaf are blunt and don't think twice before stating their opinions. I don't sugarcoat my opinions and I don't modify them to please anyone.

People who have dealt with me know this is true.
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I'm curious, why are Deaf blunt? I didn't grow up "Deaf" but was always told I'm too blunt so my curiosity is piqued.
 
Not sure. I think its because they are more visual oriented and the language they use allows them to be more honest.

ie: in spoken english "You've gained weight" can look terrible and many do choose to look at it in a bad light.

while in ASL - you can sign it in a certain way with much flexibility while using an expression showing either concern, joking, or what not that reduces the misunderstandings causing us to be more blunt...

Thats my best take.
 
posts from hell said:
Not sure. I think its because they are more visual oriented and the language they use allows them to be more honest.

ie: in spoken english "You've gained weight" can look terrible and many do choose to look at it in a bad light.

while in ASL - you can sign it in a certain way with much flexibility while using an expression showing either concern, joking, or what not that reduces the misunderstandings causing us to be more blunt...

Thats my best take.
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I'd say you nailed it.
 
posts from hell said:
Not sure. I think its because they are more visual oriented and the language they use allows them to be more honest.

ie: in spoken english "You've gained weight" can look terrible and many do choose to look at it in a bad light.

while in ASL - you can sign it in a certain way with much flexibility while using an expression showing either concern, joking, or what not that reduces the misunderstandings causing us to be more blunt...

Thats my best take.
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Good point. DeafCaroline, this is the answer you were seeking for.
 
jillio said:
**nodding** And many parents in that position don't realize that their kids understand they did their best and don't blame them. But the parent blames themselves, and instead of dealing with it and just saying 'I'm sorry" they get defensive and the relationship gets even worse.
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My dad did not realize this until he was 73 years old, he when got home he made phones calls and wrote to people Washington to find out what he could do for me. He send me to boarding in Maine as my school did not want me back there. He also put on his SS benefit without telling me. I did not know until I finish high school. Dad dies a month after I graduation from high school. When I was packing to go home I looked up at my roommate said "My dad is going to dies soon."
I was right , dad was 75 years old , I was 20 years old. I when out on a date and came way pass my curfew , my dad was being taken to ER by my brother and mother and that was the last time I saw dad. He dies the next day. It was really tough on me as dad and I where right in a middle of a fight and we never got to made up! So never stay mad at a love one too long you may have be able to say "I love you" to them again. 43 years later I still feel the lost of not making up.
 
Wirelessly posted

posts from hell said:
just saw another commercial incorporating the use of sign language on the tv now...
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Can you share it with us?
 
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