i have a question for the lesbians and gay people

First of all, I find it really interesting that it is always assumed by heterosexuals that all lesbians are ugly and all gay men are hot- this is nonsense and I take offense as a lesbian.
Secondly, one of the reasons that we hear more about gay bashings of men is that men are more visible in gay culture because they control that culture. Most gay villages are run by and for men because men have more money, so they in turn are more visible and more likely to get attacked by people looking for trouble.
Also, lots of us lesbians are also vulnerable to being raped by men trying to teach us a lesson, and this is an experienced documented over and over again. Lesbians are often more 'invisible' because the fact that we make less money than gay men makes us participate less in public culture. We do face a ton of discrimination, from being dismissed in jobs for not being feminine enough or flirtatious enough with men to being told that we're women so we can't do certain things. Also, because straight men frequently fantasize about feminine lesbians, they often treat us better on the surface.

In school, it also has to do with how girls mess with other girls. Boys in school are violent, but girls enact abuse on each other too, though often in more subtle ways. I did not enjoy being a lesbian in junior high school any more than my gay male counterparts, and when I received death threats and gay bashings it was clear that while some men might not be willing to attack me out of 'respect for a girl', others didnt care at all...
 
I have no experiences personally cuz I am heterosexual but I did some thinking about what everyone in this thread has discussed. All of you made very interesting and strong points. Well, in my opinion, yes I think gay men get less acceptance in the general society than lesbians.

It starts out in childhood..I mean think about it...

People accept little girls playing with cars, action heroes, playing sports and getting all dirty and stuff. The term "tomboy" is accepted as a positive label.

On the other hand, boys who play with dolls, play dress up, and interested in the arts or musics are looked at as "different"...maybe not accepted by their peers. The term "sissy" is seen as a negative label.

Like in my class, I have 4 bean bags...they are red, green, loud pink and yellow. I have 5 students both sexes. Well, during reading time, the boys REFUSE to sit on the pink bags (mind u..this is 1st grade) and if for some reason one of my boys sit on the bean bag, the other students EVEN the girls mock him saying that is for girls only BUT when the girls sit on the blue bean bags, nobody makes a big fuss. Something to really look at...

It is just interesting that this sort of behavior starts so early with all of us. I do remember that I could play with my brother's toys but whenever he played with my dolls, my dad would have a fit and ban him from going into my room to play with my "girlie" things.

I dont know if there is a correlation but something to think about...
 
operatorally said:
First of all, I find it really interesting that it is always assumed by heterosexuals that all lesbians are ugly and all gay men are hot- this is nonsense and I take offense as a lesbian.
Secondly, one of the reasons that we hear more about gay bashings of men is that men are more visible in gay culture because they control that culture. Most gay villages are run by and for men because men have more money, so they in turn are more visible and more likely to get attacked by people looking for trouble.
Also, lots of us lesbians are also vulnerable to being raped by men trying to teach us a lesson, and this is an experienced documented over and over again. Lesbians are often more 'invisible' because the fact that we make less money than gay men makes us participate less in public culture. We do face a ton of discrimination, from being dismissed in jobs for not being feminine enough or flirtatious enough with men to being told that we're women so we can't do certain things. Also, because straight men frequently fantasize about feminine lesbians, they often treat us better on the surface.

In school, it also has to do with how girls mess with other girls. Boys in school are violent, but girls enact abuse on each other too, though often in more subtle ways. I did not enjoy being a lesbian in junior high school any more than my gay male counterparts, and when I received death threats and gay bashings it was clear that while some men might not be willing to attack me out of 'respect for a girl', others didnt care at all...
Click to expand...


That is a very interesting point...thanks for sharing that.

I do agree with u. I have seen lesbain women who ARE sooo georgous and very feminine. Look at the former model who died of AIDS in 1986..Gia. She was one of the most beautiful models in the world in the late 70s and early 80s and she was a straight lesbain..not BI. She loved being with women but looking at her, you would have a classic case of "Do not judge the book by its cover."
 
Wow. for the lesbian i would have to say that while yes you are met with harassment and hatred like i am the fear of death should not be with you like it is with me. Examples, Mathew Shepherd, Barry Wichle, the clip that was posted above about the bar. These are things that happen to gay men. How many acts of lesbianbashing are there? I would like to see them as i am always wanting to learn. It is the men of the community that this happens to. you may get stares or have some one yell "DIKE" at you but i have to worry about baseball bats being strapped to a fence, ax to the head or broom shove up me. This hatred people have for us never meeting us i don't understand. That is something both sides of our community have to deal with.
And i am not girly, such a miscomception. I can when joking around but i am, "straight acting" as we say in the community 95% of the time. There are some gay people who don't realize i am gay until they are told. I do have nice clothes and fix my hair nice. I also have ratty clothes and go with out getting my hair cut or shaving. The comment about the ram and lion and gay men giving up? I.... I just um...... where were you going with that. I hope you look in here and can answer that because i senserly do not understand the analogy. I have ben attracted to men my entire life. I didn't know i was gay until i became an adult but i was always attracted to men so i am not sure about the giving up. I would like to pass my name on but there we are...
On last thing all gay men are not attractive OMG are they not there are some really, really ugly gay men out there. No really ugly y'all. And lesbians look at Porche Derosi i know i spelled her name wrong but she is Elen's girlfriend and she is so beautiful!!!
 
Southern, I want to respond to you but also want to emphasize that I don't want to compete over whether lesbians or gay men 'have it harder' than one another. I never said the we do, just that I think its a misconception to assume that gay men always have a harder time because things are different for everyone. Violence against women tends to be more invisible.
One of the things about violence about lesbians is that the statistics usually get wrapped up with all the violence against women statistics. I had a coworker whose lesbian cousin was killed by an angry exhusband and it was never reported as a homophobic crime, even though it was. Also, lesbians are often raped in our experiences of homophobic violence and this isn't often reported because rape is the most underreported violent crime there is for too many reasons to count.
Also, in terms of body size, women tend to be smaller than men, so it is easier for a single male to attack us, while homophobes usually attack queer men in groups so that there is no physical competition, and group violence tends to get more attention.
Another factor would be the fact that gay men gather in public places for sex [safe sex, may i add] and bashers find them more visible because of this. I should add that there's nothing wrong with this, and all queers should be able to have such gatherings without fear of violence as long as they respect those around them.
Again, I don't doubt the validity of the violence you face, I just want to make it clear that it's not a one sided thing, I have been bashed and assaulted and look over my shoulder everywhere I go, especially at night. When people tell me I have it easier I simply beg to differ on a personal level.
 
From my observation, I've seen gays and lesbians causing a big scene in public very often. Out of every party I've been too, the ones fighting most of the time are lesbians and gays.

Last weekend, I was at a party. There was this lesbian couple there who got in a fight and it was loud... stomping and banging. :roll:

I was at the mini-mart here on campus a couple nights ago and there was a gay couple screaming at each other.
 
Operatorally. Thanks for that. It's what i was looking for. I forgot about those instances. Some husbands do turn violent on their wives when they find out they are lesbians. It is considered domestic violence. I can see how lesbianbashing shall we term it here would be lumped in with violenc against women. And i wasn't saying that it hasn't happened i just said i had not heard of it, so i am gald you brought that to my attention. Lord lets not get into a competition over who gets hurt more, we would become a sad people at that point if we did.
VampyroX that is surprising. It must be where you live. Physical violence is typically not something gay men do. We use our words, in our comunity anyone can pick something up and through it. it takes far more skill to slice and dice some one with your mind. That is not to say it never happens because it does there are some violent gays out there. Operatorally maybe you can speak as to the lesbian side of things, i don't like the girly parts you can have em honey!! LMAO
oh and i am so sorry you have had that experience.
 
I Am Seek For Deaf Lesbians Friend I Need Find Someone Who Is Not Into Drugs Or Lies If You Are Honest And Serious Write Me Anytimes
 
The*Empress said:
Why most lesbians are ugly and most gay men are cute?

If someone mentioned the word, "lesbian", we assume someone like Ellen Degeneres and Rosie O'Donnell, boyish type, confuse, acting macho.

And if someone mentioned the word, "gay men", we envision them as girly, cute facial appearance and clean shaven.
Click to expand...

Stop making idiot statements against gays and lesbians... show respects,,,
 
LuvsInk said:
I kinda agree with this but not because men are perverts but because their manhood feels less threatened by the idea of two women together since it is most men's fantasy.
Click to expand...

Never thought of it that way. Weird that... I'd say those macho's that attack gay guys should be thanking them. It's like CocaCola getting mad at Pepsi when Pepsi decides to stop selling cola and starts selling dishwashers... No more competition! Why get mad about it? And if they are so insecure about their own manhood that they fear a gay making a pass at him, why? Afraid they might give in?
 
BUBBA said:
I Am Seek For Deaf Lesbians Friend I Need Find Someone Who Is Not Into Drugs Or Lies If You Are Honest And Serious Write Me Anytimes
Click to expand...

Go to GLBT forum.. With a luck you might find a right one...
 
VamPyroX said:
From my observation, I've seen gays and lesbians causing a big scene in public very often. Out of every party I've been too, the ones fighting most of the time are lesbians and gays.

Last weekend, I was at a party. There was this lesbian couple there who got in a fight and it was loud... stomping and banging. :roll:

I was at the mini-mart here on campus a couple nights ago and there was a gay couple screaming at each other.
Click to expand...

I don't see so often.

I had been in several gay village in SF (Castro District), LA (West Hollywood and Silverlake), Long Beach (Broadway Corridor), Chicago (Lakeview) and San Diego (Hillcrest) but I had checked around here and nothing to see happen about social issues.
 
Ummm,pardon me but am I to assume you people are Bible-believing, god-fearing people? Not wanting to offend,just want to understand.
 
Aluzky said:
I think gays get more hate because, it is false "implied" that anal sex is involved with gay couples and most people find poop to be gross, so:

Anal sex = Gross.
Gay = You must be doing anal sex.
Gay = GROSS. = I hate you.

Lesbians can do anal sex, but in bigots minds, that is unlikely, so they find a lesbian less gross and gives them less hate feelings.


That is what I believe that happens in that kind of people minds.
Click to expand...

That sounds about right. Less gross=less hate. Hmmm.
 
EyesBlueDeaf said:
Man Held in Bar Attack Dies After Shootout

GASSVILLE, Ark. - A teenager suspected of a hatchet-and-gun attack in a Massachusetts gay bar and in the fatal shooting of two people died Sunday morning after he was critically wounded in a gun battle with Arkansas police, authorities said.

Jacob D. Robida, 18, died at 3:38 a.m. Sunday at Cox-South Hospital in Springfield, Mo., Arkansas State Police spokesman Bill Sadler said.
Click to expand...


Damn!

He escaped... Now, we don't know for sure in whose body when or where he will come back in...

You know, it's a mixed bowl of greens when someone dies while attempting escape. On the one hand, he'll never do this again. On the other hand, how do we know he won't do it again in another body in another century?

Too bad things like this have to happen...
 
Back
Top