I got into an argument with my in-laws

Sorry to hear that next time something you are not interesting then tell them that you are not interesting in this type of email but dont have to explain. They will stop. It happened to me and it works.
 
If it's a hotmail account, set it to the junk file and when it gets there, report it as phishing scam. Keep it up until hotmail does something about it.
 
jiro123 said:
Shel - if she thinks being a gangsta is cool... better take her to morgue and see what the gangsta life is about. oh and also take her to clinic because female gangsta is usually raped on regular basis. Obviously - you can't quit from gangsta crew. You're signing your own death warrant.
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Actually, there are some gangs that permit you to leave only if you've became a Christian and keep a Christian lifeystyle forever, and they'll leave you be.

Obviously, the way out for some gangs is death.

So you know not all gangs are the same in that regard.
 
shel90 said:
The thing is that her emails to me are mostly untitled. Sometimes she says hi and just want to see how I was doing and then there are the others relating to the gangster lifestyle so I told her not to send me those anymore and now everyone is all pissed off at me. Oh boy..
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Frankly, shel, I think you did the right thing. By not speaking up, you give her the idea that you approve of the lifestyle and the emails she is sending you. The rest of her family should be so caring as you.
 
shel90

honestly, you was right, nothing wrong. your sister in law should be direct talk with you, not your hubby. Your hubby has not concern about got an email from your sister in law. *oh boy*
 
I agree. You did nothing wrong.

Her parents need to discourage her from going down the wrong path. If they don't, she would probably end up going down the wrong path.
 
you did right thing because you raised concern about your sister in law fascinated gangsta.
I think your husband isn't supportive moral as concern about his sister's welfare. Sad!

I think I suggest you, Directly talk to your sister in law's parent if not work out..
Last resort, put her into the junk email as "forward emails" only the way ticket.
 
I think when you are a daughter in law, you will be regarded as an outsider.

If you say anything that is criticism, the whole family will unite against you.

Better not to say anything and just avoid letting the sister in law get in a close enough position to be a bad influence to your kids.
 
I guess the main issue is: is she trying to BE a gangsta? With tv and radio pumping out rap and hip-hop these days, it becomes an outlet for kids. Not that they will truly act on it, but that they think it could be an easy answer to growing up. You know.."if I was...". Most of the time, it is a passing phase and they do grow out of it, especially if they are not actually in that environment. My youngest, who is now 23 and a Mom, was always heavy into rap and trying to be the "tough girl" in HS..but, she had our teachings behind her and never acted out in a way that got her into trouble. So for me, I guess my first thought would be does she get into trouble? act out her thoughts? If the answer is no, then just delete the emails that refer to gangsta life as the flitting thoughts of a budding teenager. If her parents have instilled doing things right, it will pass as she grows older. If the answer is yes, then that is something you can't control, only her parents can (I hope). JMHO
 
GalaxyAngel said:
you did right thing because you raised concern about your sister in law fascinated gangsta.
I think your husband isn't supportive moral as concern about his sister's welfare. Sad!

I think I suggest you, Directly talk to your sister in law's parent if not work out..
Last resort, put her into the junk email as "forward emails" only the way ticket.
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I am soooo happy that you are back in the AD forum. I have been thinking and worrying about you. I hope everything is find with you and your family.

As for Shel, you did the right thing to confront your in-laws that the fourteen years girl is interest in the gangster lifestyle and it is a no-no situation. I can not believe that her parents are not seeing what she is going into. Maybe they know what they can do to help her with the help of psychologist or are they just spoiling her like a brat in a very nice wealthy home. This puzzle me. What a bummer that you have to go through with her shit (sorry about my swear word). You absolutely did the right thing and you have not done nothing wrong when you speak up about the e-mail that you are not interest in and that you are bother by her e-mail. I surely wish your husband should show some understanding and support you on what is wrong with the fourteen year old girl in DC that are so interest in gangs lifestyle. Oh, boy is the right word and she might be heading for herself into trouble and getting herself in the mess. I hope God is watching over her to make sure she is safe and unharm from gangs. Sorry to hear that. :shock:
 
i would have agree with Tousi's posts!

i dont like gangsters i know mostly people who include in gangsters during marriages and had affairs with gangsters as nice that not right!

MUST have trust with in-laws if you are agree with in-laws or not you MUST listen with in-laws!

IF i got married somedays i would listen my husband and in-laws if i would agree and disagree anythings what i wanted everythings MUST have honest with in-laws for not lies!

mostly married people always trust with in-laws like as friendly family or not im sure married people loves in-laws very much whether in mind.
 
Either your sister-in-law is glorifying gangsters or she is going through a teenage phase.

Just tell her to stop sending you emails regarding articles of gangsters & that you're not interested and leave it at that.
 
Matilda said:
Either your sister-in-law is glorifying gangsters or she is going through a teenage phrase.

Just tell her to stop sending you emails regarding articles of gangsters & that you're not interested and leave it at that.
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that true
 
I cannot believe your in-laws! Good grief! You're a teacher so you know firsthand about the destruction that the gang life can have on children's lives. I totally 100% agree with your request for her not to send inappropriate (yes, they are inappropriate) e-mails that glorify the gang life. Stand on your ground, girl. I would've done the same thing if I was in your position.
 
I am sorry to hear about this. Well you did all you could by telling your sister in law that you dont want to get emails about gang's life. We all know what destruction it can caused on a person and families. Apparently the inlaws are in denial about their daughter. I find this sad. I hope it is just a phase that your sis in law is going thru and wake up this is not worth it. All we can do is pray for your sis in law to not go down that path. :hug:
 
Freaky Cat said:
I am sorry to hear about this. Well you did all you could by telling your sister in law that you dont want to get emails about gang's life. We all know what destruction it can caused on a person and families. Apparently the inlaws are in denial about their daughter. I find this sad. I hope it is just a phase that your sis in law is going thru and wake up this is not worth it. All we can do is pray for your sis in law to not go down that path. :hug:
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Same here. :hug:
 
Reba said:
Tousi's advice is good. Also, good advice from all who suggested click "delete" without reading the gangster stuff.

It's a little disappointing that your husband didn't offer more support to you. :(
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My hubby does support me but he knows that his parents wont listen to him so he just told me to leave it alone and nothing we can do. My hubby doesnt like it and tells his sister that that lifestyle is nothing but bad news but she wont listen to him either.
 
Thanks everyone for your advice and support.

My sister-in-law is very sweet and a good student and all that but she is very very niave to the ugly things that are out there. I hope it is a teenage phase and she wont get involved with real gangsters. All of her friends in her area come from upper-class priveleged homes and all live in a wealthy black nieghborhood so her and her friends probably see black people in the media as gangsters especially the rich and famous musicans. Maybe they are living the boring suburban livestyles and like someone said, they are probably wondering if the grass is greener on the other side. She and her friends really have nooo concept of how destructive the gangster lifestyle can be to the people in the gangs and their families. My sister-in-law has been very very sheltered from the ugly things in life while my husband and his other sister had been exposed to it. They grew up poor and lived in some ghettos while moving around and when they both were in their late teens, their dad made it big with his career and started earning a huge salary. That was the time when my youngest sister-in-law was born so she has always had a fancy house to live in, everything she could ever want, go on luxury vacations, and get sent to those expensive camps.

In the last year, she started showing an interest in the gangster lifestyle and it wasnt a big deal. Then she started dressing like one and then the emails glorifying that lifestyle. I just told her not to send me any emails about it. I found out why my in-laws are mad at me cuz I added that the gangster lifestyle and what it represent brings nothing but pain and destruction to many innocent people.

That was all I said but since then I havent gotten any emails from her. My hubby said that his dad would kick her ass if she really goes out and tries to join a gang. I guess I am just not comfortable reading anything that makes that lifestyle so glamorous cuz it just makes me sick.

Again, thanks everyone. :)
 
shel90 said:
My hubby does support me but he knows that his parents wont listen to him so he just told me to leave it alone and nothing we can do. My hubby doesnt like it and tells his sister that that lifestyle is nothing but bad news but she wont listen to him either.
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I'm glad that he does support you. :). I'm sorry that I misunderstood before.
 
Reba said:
I'm glad that he does support you. :). I'm sorry that I misunderstood before.
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No apologies..it is easy to assume from my post that he is not being supportive at all. :)
 
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