I am so mad i can't think straight!!!!!!!!!

I wonder why she gave the money away, was she trying to made friends ? Is she being picked on in school , I would want to know why she stole the money to give it away. It looks like she is looking for attention in some way.
 
We had a discussion, I got the names of the people she gave the money to and I will be contacting the parents in the morning. I also found out it was $80 not $60 from her. She said she did it because the other kids were begging her for the money. I remained firm but calm and told her no one should be asking anyone for money. You can't just give money away, especially when it is not hers to start with. I explained to her the gravity of the situation by explaining to her that I could get in serious legal trouble for this as I am the one responsible for her, the leaders could very well easily contact the police and have me arrested for theft. I could spend time in jail for this. That's when it got to her what she had done.

We are selling the DS and she will be working with me on the farm to earn the money back. She is also going to go before the whole troop and explain to them what she did, apologize, and say that she will not be back, at least for a while. She will not participate in any GS events for the remainder of the school year at least. She will be too busy working with me on the farm. I have shortened her free time and lengthened her chore list. Also she is grounded for a month with no TV, computer, iPod, nada, nothing, zilch. I think the point was driven home, now we have to stand firm and follow through.

She was sent to bed an hour early and she is currently asleep. Tomorrow I will be contacting parents of the kids she gave money to, hoping I might get *some* of it back.
 
Great job Dixie!!! I know it is tough. I just had a big fight with my daughter about her wanting to go to Disneyland instead of coming here for spring break. She wanted me to pay for it but I said no because she had been bad-mouthing me and didnt deserve to go. Told my ex hubby about it and a big shocker, he backed me up and punished her. She sent me a text apologizing for how she talked to me. By standing firm with our children, we get the respect.
 
teach her how not to get caught. America is founded by thief's and crooks
 
You know young children sometimes did doing wrong, they are not understanding.

You can tell your daughter that stealing hurts people and could lose a friends etc. You need talk her of the rules about let first with a warning and second time, you'll serious punish her in the future.
Sorry about that.. :(
 
Phillips,
She's 8, she understands full and well that stealing is wrong and that doing so will have negative consequences. I would rather punish her a bit harshly now and make sure the point is driven home rather than wait until she has stolen bigger items or even more money. You have to draw the line somewhere. She has always been warned all her life that stealing is wrong. She knows better, thus why she is getting disciplined for it now.
 
While I think it's an awesome idea to sell her games and make her pay back the money... I don't know that making her drop out of Girl Scouts is a good idea. She is paying back the money, she is going to be working with you as a punishment plus not being able ot enjoy her game... taking her out of a group that is a positive influence on her life and a good social support for her doesn't seem like it fits the crime. I think it would be better for her to have to stay in GS and take whatever punishment the troop decides is appropriate for her. She has to learn that once you make a mistake you can't just run away from it - you have to stay, face your consequences, and work to regain trust from the people you hurt.
 
Dixie said:
Phillips,
She's 8, she understands full and well that stealing is wrong and that doing so will have negative consequences. I would rather punish her a bit harshly now and make sure the point is driven home rather than wait until she has stolen bigger items or even more money. You have to draw the line somewhere. She has always been warned all her life that stealing is wrong. She knows better, thus why she is getting disciplined for it now.
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Great plan! Exactly what I was getting at earlier.
 
Good job, Dixie! It'll be hard to keep fast... but it'll be best for your kiddo in the long run.

:thumb:
 
Dixie,
Your punishment for her is a right one.
Hope she'll really think about the consequences before she does something next time.

Hang in there, girl
 
Dixie said:
Phillips,
She's 8, she understands full and well that stealing is wrong and that doing so will have negative consequences. I would rather punish her a bit harshly now and make sure the point is driven home rather than wait until she has stolen bigger items or even more money. You have to draw the line somewhere. She has always been warned all her life that stealing is wrong. She knows better, thus why she is getting disciplined for it now.
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Oohhh I thought it's her first time steal! Yes Agreeing with you if its happen again! :mad: Hope She will wake up and learn a lesson!! You are good mother too! :hug:
 
Jiro said:
I think you are overreacting and you're treating her like a criminal. You said she took $60 and gave it away. You have every rights to be angry at her but also at same time, she should know what she did was unacceptable and that it's as bad as betrayal because money is not hers.

Your punishment is whoa! Pretty excessive and harsh. She gave it away at school. To me... Better that than something worse like sex, drug, bullying, etc. I agree with shel's suggestion.
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Well, I just read she's only 8.

Usually, kids steal because they don't have money while their friends do. Other times, it's done out of boredom. Perhaps she needs to have more activities in her spare time. And, if she is deaf she's having a hard time dealing with childhood, I'm sure.

She could be dealing with something bad that has happened to her as well.
 
If it's true, what she says about stealing the money for her friends, then it's obvious why she did it. She wants them to like her or not leave her out of their group. To an 8 year old, being liked and having friends is everything.
 
She's not deaf she's hearing and yes to her friends are everything. She's been in Girl Scouts and AWANAs, and softball. How many more activities does she need?
 
The only bad thing that's happened to her is her father left us when she was 4 months old.
 
Dixie said:
She's not deaf she's hearing and yes to her friends are everything. She's been in Girl Scouts and AWANAs, and softball. How many more activities does she need?
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Sounds like she needs more time with you, not more time with peers, as time with peers contributed to the problem in the first place.

I'm not saying that her other outside activities were wrong, I am just agreeing with you that pulling her from GS so she has time to earn back the money she stole is a good plan, and for more than one reason.
 
Dixie said:
She's not deaf she's hearing and yes to her friends are everything. She's been in Girl Scouts and AWANAs, and softball. How many more activities does she need?
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Ah! well, that's all good! Didn't know about the other activities.
 
Dixie, I am impressed! Sounds like you have a good handle on this. I don't have any children of my own so I am living vicariously through you and your DD! I admit, I was on the edge of my seat reading through this thread.
 
Cheetah said:
Dixie, I am impressed! Sounds like you have a good handle on this. I don't have any children of my own so I am living vicariously through you and your DD! I admit, I was on the edge of my seat reading through this thread.
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You weren't' the only one!
 
This is a good time to talk to her about what "friends" are, too. A good friend would not ask her to do something wrong. A good friend would not want her to get into serious trouble while the so-called "friend" gets the benefit of the money.

Standing up to peer pressure is difficult for a child, and there are plenty of adults who haven't learned that lesson either. This is a golden "teachable moment" to discuss those issues.

Were all these girls also in Girl Scouts? They should not get off scot-free, either. If they were in Girl Scouts, then the Scout leader should have a good talk with the girls, maybe at the same time your daughter apologizes, Dixie, and impress upon them how wrong they were to try to take advantage of her in this way.

If they weren't in Scouts, then maybe the teacher could have the same talk.

It's not like your daughter stole the money to go buy herself some gadget or something; it sounds like she was led into doing it by girls who asked her for money. So there are plenty of "teachable moments" to go around here. She is not alone in the wrong-doing.

This is a good age to start really thinking about what friendship means and how good friends help each other, not get each other into trouble.
 
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