How you know right thing?

sunny_signs said:
Why not possible? I may not know words age 4 describe feeling, but I know age 4 he make me happy, i love him, he make me feel better just being there. Same feel now.
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That's a lot of shared history between you - but what happened the minute you were mad at him, and had a couple or three tequilas too many? You went straight to someone else...

What does that tell you? Was there some little part of you wanting to explore some alternatives?
 
Dump him and find a new adventure and get better answers to your life. To be honest, friendships don't last forever.
 
sequoias said:
Dump him and find a new adventure and get better answers to your life. To be honest, friendships don't last forever.
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Well, some do, actually. I'm still very good friends with a guy I first met in kindergarten. And that was a LONG time ago! He lived across the street from me. We were best friends from the time we met. Only just friends, though, not romantically involved at all.

Our senior year in h.s. (different schools), he introduced me to a guy he KNEW would be just right for me, and he was - it was "love at first sight" and we ended up dating for four years, for the rest of high school and most of college.

And THAT guy is also still a good friend, even though we ended up going our separate ways and marrying other people.

My very best female friend is someone I met at age 6, too. We have a long, long history together, through many moves and career changes and all that.

So I'd never put down the possibility of a life-long friendship.

At the same time - if someone is having some doubts about making a life-long commitment to someone, those little warning signs going off in your head are begging to have attention paid to them, because SOME-thing is going on, for sure.
 
sunny_signs said:
Why not possible? I may not know words age 4 describe feeling, but I know age 4 he make me happy, i love him, he make me feel better just being there. Same feel now.
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What are his feelings? Do you make him happy, does he love you, and do you make him feel better just being there? When you two have a tiff, does he drink tequila and sleep with other girls? Does he query forums about your relationship?

I'm curious if your feelings for and actions toward each other are the same. Have the two of you sat down together to discuss your future goals as individuals and as a couple?
 
Sunny, no one can tell you what to do. Carefully consider everything and make your decision. Then, you'll have to live with the consequences of that decision. No one knows what the future will hold.
 
True. The best we can do is point out some danger signs, or suggest some questions to ask oneself. The final decision is with the individual.
 
One challenge of being with one person your whole life is you never get a chance to learn different coping techniques. If you date a variety of people, you learn many different things about different people. Different ways of being, ways of doing things, and ways of communicating.

Still it may be beneficial to speak with a therapist to learn some ways of dealing with insecurity and self doubt. You will want to clear up your doubts and insecurities before you get married. I say this as someone who is going through it now. I am trying to decide if I can be forever with the person I am with now. It's tough to make a decision, especially the last time It was such an easy choice and now I am full of doubts about myself. I know I cannot handle another divorce, do I really want to put myself through another marriage?

These types of life questions have no easy answers. The best I can do is ask - Do you love him? Do you trust him? If yes to both, then go for it. But if you have doubt about either question, then wait a bit longer.
 
Plus, you can love and trust someone, and STILL feel the need to stretch your wings, travel, live someplace new, etc. It's not necessarily any reflection on the other person or your feelings for the other person.

I loved and trusted my h.s./college boyfriend completely, and he felt the same toward me, but I still knew I wasn't ready to get married at age 22. It had nothing to do with him; it was my need to explore and see the world before settling down with someone that had to be met before I could be ready to marry anyone.
 
Reba said:
Is Sunny talking marriage?
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You make a good point... Reading back looks like she is talking about dating I think. I usually approach these forums from my own experiences and whatever is going on in my life... sometimes someone else is experiencing something similar. For me its considering marriage... for her I think she is just more focused on relationship. You can take my comments any way you like! :D
 
You're in BC right?

Shoot only one province away.
Honestly I would say to take a break.

Under normal circumstances I would never say that but your relationship is a bit different.
You guys have only had each other since your teen years so you have grown use to each other and sometimes that dependence of what is familiar can be mistaken for love.
A little time apart may prove what you have to be true love or just friendly dependence, but doing this comes with the risk of losing the person you are with now.

It's a hard choice think hard on it.

Honestly I have my own policy of never take a person back more than once, but that's just me.
 
sunny_signs said:
Dallas me break up before (shameful one night stand thread...) then get back together, he ask me him, I say yes, but now we break up again. :( He beg take him back, I try decide....
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In that case, I would say you're definitely not ready for marriage. A cycle of break up, get back together, break up, get back together, isn't going to work in a marriage.
 
Reba said:
In that case, I would say you're definitely not ready for marriage. A cycle of break up, get back together, break up, get back together, isn't going to work in a marriage.
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I agree. Here is a thought, Maybe take some time apart? Just make sure ground rules are clear.
 
I am honest to images on surprised posts I am myself :giggle: I am feeling my dream fun soft heart and peace! I almost to laugh I am sorry my emotion btw
 
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