How well do deaf and hearing friendships work out?

If hearing people have a problem with me, they won't be friends with me for long.
 
@ the OP: um...knowing ASL helps. And don't treat deaf people like they're any different than you are. ;)

lol, she only posted once...i wonder if she got scared off.
 
A pitfall of deaf/hearing friendship or relationship, is the hearing person can become condescending.

Ive seen it in relationships where the hearing guy feels superior over the deaf girl. Like he wont have confidence with hearing women but because the woman is deaf it gives him a feeling of confidence.
 
i'm hearing and one of my best friends is deaf... we have a lot of fun together... i know enough sign language right now...
 
Bebonang said:
If you are good at ASL, then you probably won't have any problem communicating with the young people (your age).

But there are times that hearing people and deaf people don't really get along when the hearing people expect the deaf people to understand without sign language for communicating. If some deaf people can lipread, but really lipreading is not accurate like Sue Thomas, FBI or any of the movies or T.V. program claiming that deaf people can lipread 100% accurate. False as it is not true at all.

I am really on the side with all Deaf AD members, too. We still have problem with hearing family members who don't use ASL at all and we get unhappy or frustrated trying to understand what they saying. Also not good to understand with strangers who have no idea what deafness is like and what Deaf Culture is. The hearing people as part of society ignore us and think we can learn to listen with CIs or hearing aids.

The battle between hearing and d/Deaf people are at war all the time for many centuries. Still the same old thing over and over. Nothing new. So why you asked question about that? :roll:
Click to expand...

I know plenty of 'hearing' people that do no get along with other 'hearing' people! And I bet there a deaf people that do not get get along. Why do people deaf and hoh are so difference ??!! We are not from another planet!!
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I know plenty of 'hearing' people that do no get along with other 'hearing' people! And I bet there a deaf people that do not get get along. Why do people deaf and hoh are so difference ??!! We are not from another planet!!
Click to expand...

I thought we were from Eyeth? ;) :giggle:

But yeah, point well taken. We are all human and that shows up everywhere in our human lives.
 
My best friends are hearing and they are very considerate in all situations, never once do I have to ask them what's going on, they tell me unprompted. My boyfriend is hearing and he's the same way. If I was lost, would look at him and cock an eyebrow and he would bring me up to speed. All of those people have become rather adapted to my deafness and never once gave me the impression that repeating themselves or giving me some assistance was ever an issue. What is the greatest thing about them is that their sense of humour. They would recall situations involving my deafness and make me laugh till I cry. Others listening in might think they were being very "unpolitically correct" or insensitive when in fact, it just proves how at ease and how comfortable they are with me.
 
DeafCaroline said:
My best friends are hearing and they are very considerate in all situations, never once do I have to ask them what's going on, they tell me unprompted. My boyfriend is hearing and he's the same way. If I was lost, would look at him and cock an eyebrow and he would bring me up to speed. All of those people have become rather adapted to my deafness and never once gave me the impression that repeating themselves or giving me some assistance was ever an issue. What is the greatest thing about them is that their sense of humour. They would recall situations involving my deafness and make me laugh till I cry. Others listening in might think they were being very "unpolitically correct" or insensitive when in fact, it just proves how at ease and how comfortable they are with me.
Click to expand...

You are just lucky that you have no problem with hearing friends. Well, not me. Maybe a few hearing people but still I am being left out anyway. They never bother to tell me what is going on much. No one bother to learn sign ASL for me, either. I tried writing papers but they knew I can talked with my deaf accent. They would rather have me talk to them. Very few people would be willing to write down on papers for me like a couple of people. :(
 
Bebonang said:
You are just lucky that you have no problem with hearing friends. Well, not me. Maybe a few hearing people but still I am being left out anyway. They never bother to tell me what is going on much. No one bother to learn sign ASL for me, either. I tried writing papers but they knew I can talked with my deaf accent. They would rather have me talk to them. Very few people would be willing to write down on papers for me like a couple of people. :(
Click to expand...

Bebonang - I said my two best friends and my current boyfriend, I have no problems with. I didn't say I have no problems with all hearing friends. What you said about their not bothering to tell you much, it's the same for me. Even my own family can't be bothered much of the time. You said yourself you have a few hearing friends who do make the effort. Same for me.
 
Point taken and I am sorry for saying the wrong thing.

Here I am a Deaf person not understanding your point of view about this. I am sorry, DeafCaroline. :hug:
 
I've had similar hearing to hearing conversations. Being completely lost, and I think it's rude not to let everyone in. For example, years ago, this girl would invite me out with her, and two or three of her friends, which I did not know. They would constantly have conversations, about some person/topic they only knew of, and here I was just standing around like "Uhhhh okay." So I stopped accepting her invites, what the hell! Why invite me to exclude me. I'm outty. I only tolerated it because I had no one else to go clubbing with. Well fast forward, I am more "ballsy," more opinionated, and if I'm in a conversation, or somehow I feel left out, I either ask whats going on, or leave.
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

No one person can be all things. It's fine to have different friends whom you prefer. A friend who shares a love of reading, a friend who is an exercise buddy, a friend who can sign in a restaurant, etc.
 
i have had issues with dealing with a few deaf ppl few being the key word. Im not proficient in ASL but i am learning. But one of my deaf "friends" said she didnt think we were really friends because she couldnt trust me because i could be talking about her and she couldnt hear and I might take advantage of that... and an ex girlfriend of mine decieded that it was too much effort to keep in contact with me because even though we were dealing with similar life issues at the time i could never begin to understand because i am not deaf... it was frustrating
 
Lovee' - come back! The zoo cannot exist if it doesn't have any paying customers!!! :(
 
Back
Top