How to include HOH grandma in conversations?

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mollygirl

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My grandma is in her 80s and is very hard of hearing. But she has a "I don't want to be a burden" personality and pretends she can understand us when we talk. Her hearing is almost completely gone by now and she seems to be in denial to some extent.

So if she is not interested in learning ASL and just barely lip reads, how do we include her in conversations? She just sits there and pretends to follow the conversation because she doesn't want to be a bother, but I can't stand her being left out like this.

Do you have ideas on how to include her in conversations? All I can think of is to write things down for her but conversations go so quickly, I don't see how it could work. Any ideas or suggestions would be great. Thanks!

P.S. in case it helps, the rest of the family including myself are all hearing, and none of us know one bit of ASL, but as I said, I don't think we could convince her to learn it anyway.
 
Face her directly when you speak to her and don't use 10 sentences when it can be said in just one for it's very tiring to try to understand what someone is saying.

As for conversations, it's not necessary to repeat every word people are saying but do let her know the topic of the conversation and maybe highlights like a joke or a particularly interesting comment someone made.

p.s. you're a good granddaughter.
 
DeafCaroline said:
Face her directly when you speak to her and don't use 10 sentences when it can be said in just one for it's very tiring to try to understand what someone is saying.

As for conversations, it's not necessary to repeat every word people are saying but do let her know the topic of the conversation and maybe highlights like a joke or a particularly interesting comment someone made.

p.s. you're a good granddaughter.
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Try to keep from all talking at once. Also, even if her lip reading isn't obvious, she probably does more than she or any of you realize. That is easiest when only one person is speaking at a time (take turns as it is easier for everyone to understand).
 
Jane B. said:
Try to keep from all talking at once. Also, even if her lip reading isn't obvious, she probably does more than she or any of you realize. That is easiest when only one person is speaking at a time (take turns as it is easier for everyone to understand).
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Family members always forget not to talk all at once, unfortunately.
 
DeafCaroline said:
Family members always forget not to talk all at once, unfortunately.
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Especially when the conversation gets exciting.

I have it even worse with my family. Not only they start talking over each other when it gets exciting/heated, they start to revert to Spanish, which I can BARELY understand.
 
Daredevel7 said:
Especially when the conversation gets exciting.

I have it even worse with my family. Not only they start talking over each other when it gets exciting/heated, they start to revert to Spanish, which I can BARELY understand.
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oh wow! I thought growing up in a family of 7 people was hard enough!
 
DeafCaroline said:
oh wow! I thought growing up in a family of 7 people was hard enough!
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It wasn't bad most of the time since I'm an only child. My parents would just talk to me directly. It only happens when my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) gets together once in a while. And it was definitely better as a kid, since my cousins and I just would go out and play. But now I am an adult... and, apparently, adults don't go out and play... just talk about life, politics, a nasty-looking mole they have, and so on.... :)
 
Some in my family talk with their hands flying around. Not signing to me just very expressive. They are trying hard not to do it, but old habits are hard to break?haha
 
Has your grandma had her ears checked for wax ? I had clients that where HOH and they also had wax in their ears and this made their hearing worst.



Made sure the TV is not on when taking to your grandma background noises can made it harder to hear and if she does not understand a word do not keep repeating it , try to use another word . I hate when someone keep repeating a word that I can't understand. I think it would be best if only two or one people try to talk to her at time. I had clients tell how tried they are after being with the famliy for day.
 
My great aunt was severely hard of hearing and whenever we tried to talk to her, we had to hollar in her good ear....(when we were kids)...she always was so suspicious of everyone!...But she was the one that always had candy and fruit hidden in her room, so we were specially nice and hollaring at her!...She also had one of those things that she would stick into her ear canal and we would hollar into it.....(can't remmy what it's called)....

I would say to talk slowly, facing ur grandmother, and use some body language too, if it fits what you're trying to say.....Or even write down things if they are important....I'm sure, too, by just being nice and helpful to her would be appreciative also, lots of hugs too....and of course *smiles*....making her feel that she is important, regardless of her hearing statues.
 
RR, I think you're referring to an ear trumpet.

Molly, I think you should talk to some of the adults, and have them talk to your grandmother about getting hearing aids. Many older people are quite resistant to address their aging shortcomings. But she may think about it more if her children bring it up.
 
RR, your great auntie had an EAR TRUMPET?!?!?! WOW! That's AWESOME! I'm picturing her as a 1930's maiden auntie...lol
Molly, does she have BTE or ITE aids? It's possible that she could hear more if she got a BTE or even a body worn aid (they still make them ...they're powerful)
 
deafdyke said:
RR, your great auntie had an EAR TRUMPET?!?!?! WOW! That's AWESOME! I'm picturing her as a 1930's maiden auntie...lol
Molly, does she have BTE or ITE aids? It's possible that she could hear more if she got a BTE or even a body worn aid (they still make them ...they're powerful)
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:lol:...yeah, she did...dunno how old it was....and she also had the habit of "cupping" her good ear when trying to hear something....:hmm: wondering if those ear trumpets could still be used today, in the "backwoods" or very rural areas....
 
hearing Grandma

mollygirl said:
My grandma is in her 80s and is very hard of hearing. But she has a "I don't want to be a burden" personality and pretends she can understand us when we talk. Her hearing is almost completely gone by now and she seems to be in denial to some extent.

So if she is not interested in learning ASL and just barely lip reads, how do we include her in conversations? She just sits there and pretends to follow the conversation because she doesn't want to be a bother, but I can't stand her being left out like this.

Do you have ideas on how to include her in conversations? All I can think of is to write things down for her but conversations go so quickly, I don't see how it could work. Any ideas or suggestions would be great. Thanks!

P.S. in case it helps, the rest of the family including myself are all hearing, and none of us know one bit of ASL, but as I said, I don't think we could convince her to learn it anyway.
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I have the opposite problem. I am deaf but my mom is hearing. We are still trying to figure out the best way to communicate. She is older and set in her ways. I have her tell me who she is talking about first, like my pregnant niece, she will put her hand on her belly. At least I have a clue what subject we are on and I try to read her lips from there.:hmm:
 
mbrek said:
RR, I think you're referring to an ear trumpet.

Molly, I think you should talk to some of the adults, and have them talk to your grandmother about getting hearing aids. Many older people are quite resistant to address their aging shortcomings. But she may think about it more if her children bring it up.
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I tried to find an ear trumpet when I was younger as I thought they where cool looking! When I was a health aide I had a few clients that had hearing aids and they kept them in their desk! The famliy brought the HA for them and they told me how frustrating it was that their parent or grandparent refused to wear their HA. My clients where not able to put the battery in their HA , which was the one that when right into your ear. The famliy member went to a HA dealer instead of a hearing audiologist and was told the inner HA worked for everyone which it not true.
 
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