How to deal with hearing people who become deaf? Baby boomers getting older.

[rushabh]

Here is an interesting question for the deaf/hearing impaired community:

How exactly would you deal with the newly deaf people who have been hearing most of their lives?

The baby boomers are becoming old and they are starting to lose their hearing. So we are going to see the ranks of deaf people grow tremendously over the next 10-15 years. As we know from popular media, the baby boomers are probably the most vain generation by far and have a hard time accepting the ills that come with old age such as hearing loss.

I suspect that most of the people on this have been deaf or hearing impaired most of their lives, if not their whole lives. So unlike us, the baby boomers and people who recently became deaf know what it is like to hear and they are going to miss that big time.

Would you sympathize with their plight out of compassion even though you have no idea what it is like to be hearing? Or would you be contemptous of their whining? Or would you remain neutral and simply avoid them?

How exactly would you treat them as they enter our world? Would you think of them as truly deaf people or would you still think of them as "hearies" (a rather pejorative term, if I may say so myself)?

 

[Lantana]

Great thread! My husband is one of these. Hearing all of his life, now he is 69 years old and VERY HOH. He does not Sign, because I have good speech and am an excellent lipreader, but the way he is now, there is very little communication, unless I repeat over and over and even then he misunderstands!

I would LOVE to hear how others delt with this problem. My husband has 2 (TWO!) hearing aids and refuses to wear them. He hates the background noises.

He has dropped out of all (or most) social interaction because he feels "
left out". Ugh, what a baby!

Any suggestions?

 

[sr171soars]

Nice thread!

I have have run into quite a few of these types of people. It is interesting to note that most of them are in denial about it. Even with me who has been HOH my entire life (and who could show them how to deal with it), I have a hard time explaining to them that they could "regain" alot of their former hearing back using HAs or in some cases CIs. You would think they would go for it. Alas, not really...sigh...

It is really a psychological issue for them more than anything else. I guess part of the problem is that most of these people really don't realize how bad their hearing has gotten. They have adjusted to the loss over time and gotten used to it. Now, when they realize it (if they do), it is still a very difficult hurdle for them to make the transition to wearing a HA. I believe it is because wearing such devices forces them to acknowledge their hearing loss. Also, it is a statement that one is getting older (and death is not that far off) and I have noticed that the baby boomers are in big denial about that as well.

I would be sympathetic but point out that there are ways of dealing with it that can give them back most of they heard before (assuming they could be helped this way). Now, if they persist in "complaining" about their lot in life, I would be firm in telling them to get a grip and do something about it.

 

[Teresh]

Would you sympathize with their plight out of compassion even though you have no idea what it is like to be hearing? Or would you be contemptous of their whining?

I've never been hearing per se, but I do believe my hearing has declined over time, implying that my hearing loss was more mild at birth than it is now. (I'm currently 18.) As far as my parents and their generation in general losing their hearing, I can sympathise with how they feel, but I also think they need to learn to deal with it rather than gripe about it. If you're losing your hearing, and you want to be able to hear, you should by all means look into getting a hearing aid or a cochlear implant.

If the person is so afraid to acknowledge that they are deaf or hard of hearing now (even if they weren't previously), and that is stopping them from getting some sort of hearing instrument, I honestly can't feel any sympathy for them because they're in denial of reality. They're still 'hearing' socially, so they haven't 'lost' anything in their mind, they just refuse to accept reality. If they've done hearing tests and obtained hearing aids or a CI, I can sympathise because they've actually acknowledged that they've lost their hearing to some degree or another and dealt with it.

I imagine a large number of people wear glasses or contact lenses... If you don't have a problem wearing glasses, what's the problem with wearing hearing aids? My experience tells me that your first pair of glasses is a lot like your first hearing aid/pair of hearing aids. In a short moment, everything becomes much more clear with regards to the sense in question. The technology isn't perfect (would be wonderful if there were lenses for sound waves, but alas, there aren't), but the improvement is certainly worth it.

Or would you remain neutral and simply avoid them?

People who are dhh and in denial should not be ignored. They have needs too. Sometimes it takes someone who has been dhh for a while or all of their life to make them do something about it... I've since been successful at this once before and should I encounter another deaf person who claims to be hearing, I intend to do it again.

The idea of Deaf Pride isn't for anyone and I've no interest in making people culturally Deaf... That's their choice, and not my place to intervene. But seriously, if every dhh person found one deaf 'hearing person' and got them to acknowledge and deal with their hearing loss, the world would be a better place.

How exactly would you treat them as they enter our world? Would you think of them as truly deaf people or would you still think of them as "hearies" (a rather pejorative term, if I may say so myself)?

I honestly don't care. If they want to be culturally Deaf or culturally hearing, more power to them. My issue is their not the culture they favor. My issue is their not accepting what they are. If they want to be deaf but culturally hearing, that's their choice. But if they are deaf, they need to be deaf, not pretend they're hearing, as that will just make them more miserable.



I've said my peace. I'm not sure if what I'm trying to convey is coherent or understandable at any level. I'm partly asleep right now, so feel free to audit my post if you choose to do so.

 

[javapride]

my dad welllllllllllllllllllll he BLASTS the tv reallllllllllll LOUD so im like eh resorts to shutting my volume off and keeping my eyes on the tv...... when thier not home sounds goes on so i don t have to worry... all in all still same concept misunderstanding or having to make him look at me and mom has had to talk loud for him hes deaf in one ear cuz of the accident ( motorbiking) and is losing his right so we re making him go to the audio soon to check and if hes down to that point * points to ASL classes* so he can talk to us !

 

[deafdyke]

My issue is their not accepting what they are. If they want to be deaf but culturally hearing, that's their choice.

I think quite a few Baby Boomer types will go the "hearing health" route....but on the other hand, I think some Baby Boomers might join our culture. I mean, some of them may have siblings or cousins who are Deaf (my dad does) and some of them may know ASL b/c they had kids who are Deaf. Remember our generation was really the first generation where ASL was pretty much accepted for deaf kids. Yeah, there were some kids who were educated in a VERY oral-audist way, but I remember reading that most deaf kids from the '80's were educated with ASL.
The whole vanity thing.....Why are people SO convinced that aids are visable? I mean the advertising makes the BTEs sound like earhorns or those UGLY body worn aids. Maybe if HA companies promoted aids as a cool thing, instead of UGLY beige people would get them and accept them!

 

[Rose Immortal]

Maybe if HA companies promoted aids as a cool thing, instead of UGLY beige people would get them and accept them!

What are you suggesting, almost a "designer" approach?

This may not be the same, but I had to have braces twice because my teeth needed so much work. One thing I always thought was cool about them was that I could get colors to go with the seasons, or colors that matched the clothes I wore most frequently, etc. And that really kept me from being irrationally vain and thinking of myself as a dork or whatever for having braces. While I don't know what you could do with hearing aids, there might be something to be learned in the marketing, there...

 

[Big E]

This is all speculation, but I think that the good thing that will happen when many baby boomers become hard of hearing or deaf is they will force new technologies to emerge such as voiceless telecommunication technology. Moreover, they will demand more services such as insurance coverage of hearing aids. Finally, I think more money, public and private, may be invested into labs that do research in hearing growth on par with aids and cancer research.

 

[Teresh]

Why are people SO convinced that aids are visable?

Because they are. Strong gain is only possible with a BTE instrument, and whether anyone likes it or not, BTEs ARE visible. MiniBTE instruments are more discrete, but they are so at the loss of possible gain.

I mean the advertising makes the BTEs sound like earhorns or those UGLY body worn aids.

Hehehehehe

I'm sorry, but I can't read the word 'earhorn' and not laugh. It's such a funny word. *imagines a person holding a goat's horn up to their ear* ^^

Maybe if HA companies promoted aids as a cool thing, instead of UGLY beige people would get them and accept them!

Absolutely!

What are you suggesting, almost a "designer" approach?

Different colors! Like, seriously. People accessorise with glasses, why not hearing aids?

 

[Rose Immortal]

Different colors! Like, seriously. People accessorise with glasses, why not hearing aids?

I just did some thinking, and it occurred to me that the whole reason for the beige is probably because somebody thinks that's some kind of "invisible" color on white people. And what kind of message is that sending?

 

[deafdyke]

Finally, I think more money, public and private, may be invested into labs that do research in hearing growth on par with aids and cancer research.

I doubt it..... There's TOO much money invested in making profits off of hearing losses (eg hearing aids, ALDs, CIs etc)

 

[Teresh]

I just did some thinking, and it occurred to me that the whole reason for the beige is probably because somebody thinks that's some kind of "invisible" color on white people. And what kind of message is that sending?

That people who are choosing the colors of heaing aids are color blind? The general consensus among hearing aid manufacturers is that the color of the instrument should be close to the skintone to make it less visible. I've seen a large number of different colors, but generally all run from really pale white skin to really dark black skin. In any case, they're all a skintone. Phonak is really the only manufacturer I'm aware of that doesn't follow this modus operandi generally.

Both of the hearing aids I've used thus far in my evaluation have been beige... NTID doesn't carry Phonak instruments. >> Either way... I think that they should stop trying to make hearing aids invisible and start making hearing aids attractive.

 

[HoneyShot]

Teresh, Oticon do brightly coloured HA's too, so do several others, not just Phonak. Oticon's website has a feature that shows you all their BTE colours, and lets you try them on people's photos to see how they look.

You can also get coloured tubing and coloured earmoulds, etc, ones with glitter, shapes, different textures, heaps of styles. There's a german company that makes really cool ones.

Most of the young (ok, under 35, anyway) Deafies who I know here have colours, only the older people that can sometimes seem to think band-aid beige is invisable who wear icky fake skin tone, or hair coloured HA's.

You can also put those tiny stickers etc on them to brighten them up.

I do know one old lady who has bright pink HA's... she got them to match her little grand-daughter when they both found out they needed them at the same time, so she got same colours in support of the little girl! I thought that was very sweet of her! I also know a guy in his fifties who has HA's in his favourite rugby team's colours! So some older people aren't ashamed to wear bright HA's.

 

[deafdyke]

Most of the young (ok, under 35, anyway) Deafies who I know here have colours, only the older people that can sometimes seem to think band-aid beige is invisable who wear icky fake skin tone, or hair coloured HA's.

You can also put those tiny stickers etc on them to brighten them up.

I do know one old lady who has bright pink HA's... she got them to match her little grand-daughter when they both found out they needed them at the same time, so she got same colours in support of the little girl! I thought that was very sweet of her! I also know a guy in his fifties who has HA's in his favourite rugby team's colours! So some older people aren't ashamed to wear bright HA's.

That rawks! Maybe in a few years the beige aids will be out of fashion!

 

[Rose Immortal]

HoneyShot--What a cute story!

Also, the glasses comparison someone made makes a lot of sense, too. Especially when you consider how vain some people are about glasses. Personally I find that silly. I mean, I'm sorry, I won't stick my finger in my eye (contacts) or have someone else stick something in my eye (Lasik). I wear my glasses proudly, thank you, and I went to a lot of trouble to pick out frames I thought went with my eyes.

 

[Nancy]

I just did some thinking, and it occurred to me that the whole reason for the beige is probably because somebody thinks that's some kind of "invisible" color on white people. And what kind of message is that sending?

Not only whites wear beige color, I used to know a black guy who wore a beige BTE hearing aid years ago.

 

[sr171soars]

Not only whites wear beige color, I used to know a black guy who wore a beige BTE hearing aid years ago.

That is Rose Immortal's point...many years ago beige was the only color available (I wonder why...). It wasn't until the past decade or so that a color other than beige was possible. I remember being surprised some time ago to see a dark brown HA on a black person as I have never see a color other than beige.