How many of you had parents who refused to accept deafness?

Bebonang said:
I don't know about my Dad but my mother did not accept my deafness openly and just wanted me to go to mainstream schools (2) and thought that I can lipread her better and not using sign language (ASL). I had fought with my mother and the mainstreams schools that I need accommodations for hearing classes. I wanted to learn ASL so that I can participate in the hearing classrooms so that I can have ASL interpreters to help me understand what they were talking about in class. They refused to listen to my needs. Both my Dad and Mom plus my sister don't really want to sign ASL.

Later my sister learn how to fingerspell but not very well. She forget later in the years.

While I was still in mainstream high school, my mother decided to take me to Minnesota School for the Deaf in Faribault, Minnesota. We went there and I had interview that I wanted to go into Deaf school. He told my mother after the interview that I am too smart and that I should remained at the mainstream high school. I was extremely very upset when I got home with her. I noticed my mother was crying but I think she was probably very happy that I don't have to go into the Deaf school. The problem is they don't listened to my needs and I get mad when they don't. Grrrrrr! :mad:
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That's often the problem. Deaf classes/school go at a slower pace than hearing classes and not as advanced. I remember there was a Driver's Education class for the deaf only or hearing class and we could pick at my mainstreamed High School. The difference was the hearing class only had it for a semester. The deaf class was for the whole school year. (2 semesters) Many of us chose the hearing class to finish quicker.
 
Bebonang said:
I don't know about my Dad but my mother did not accept my deafness openly and just wanted me to go to mainstream schools (2) and thought that I can lipread her better and not using sign language (ASL). I had fought with my mother and the mainstreams schools that I need accommodations for hearing classes. I wanted to learn ASL so that I can participate in the hearing classrooms so that I can have ASL interpreters to help me understand what they were talking about in class. They refused to listen to my needs. Both my Dad and Mom plus my sister don't really want to sign ASL.

Later my sister learn how to fingerspell but not very well. She forget later in the years.

While I was still in mainstream high school, my mother decided to take me to Minnesota School for the Deaf in Faribault, Minnesota. We went there and I had interview that I wanted to go into Deaf school. He told my mother after the interview that I am too smart and that I should remained at the mainstream high school. I was extremely very upset when I got home with her. I noticed my mother was crying but I think she was probably very happy that I don't have to go into the Deaf school. The problem is they don't listened to my needs and I get mad when they don't. Grrrrrr! :mad:
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You and me both. When my grandparents were alive, they wanted me to go to the Illinois School for the Deaf, but my parents refused, as they saw my SSI as a source of income, in particular my mom, whom I don't trust today (I'll explain why when I'm ready). However, I have this, and Chicago.
 
I was late deafened at 19... but my dad told my mother and my best friend overheard and told me - "the world doesn't adapt to her, so we shouldn't either, so that she adapts to the hearing world as being deaf" (somewhat paraphrased).... my dad went the technology route and found bluetooth keyboards which hooked up to an old mini asus eee in 2008 or so and my dad (who has bad pigment in his skin underneath) has a goatee..... so he's hard to understand. My mom signs badly but talks to me refusing to sign also just to be frustrating and has gotten angry that I don't remember or catch things. Meh tis the life. I "make my family" - I surround myself with my boyfriend and friends who adapted but also made it a non-issue.
 
ohmylight said:
I was late deafened at 19... but my dad told my mother and my best friend overheard and told me - "the world doesn't adapt to her, so we shouldn't either, so that she adapts to the hearing world as being deaf" (somewhat paraphrased).... my dad went the technology route and found bluetooth keyboards which hooked up to an old mini asus eee in 2008 or so and my dad (who has bad pigment in his skin underneath) has a goatee..... so he's hard to understand. My mom signs badly but talks to me refusing to sign also just to be frustrating and has gotten angry that I don't remember or catch things. Meh tis the life. I "make my family" - I surround myself with my boyfriend and friends who adapted but also made it a non-issue.
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Man, you had it bad. I hope with time they will embrace your deafness, and open themselves up to a new world.
 
markengland29 said:
Man, you had it bad. I hope with time they will embrace your deafness, and open themselves up to a new world.
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I had it "my own way".... not bad (there are worse) but in person conversation is very short. He texts everything, even at the dinner table. For the last 3 years he's lived in Shanghai China so the time difference plus bad skype connections make it so the communication problems aren't as evident. I'm still bitter about "not adapting because the world doesn't adapt to me" though... those who are closest to you are supposed to adapt. If someone was blind in one eye i'd make every effort to stand on their good side. Same difference.
 
ohmylight said:
I had it "my own way".... not bad (there are worse) but in person conversation is very short. He texts everything, even at the dinner table. For the last 3 years he's lived in Shanghai China so the time difference plus bad skype connections make it so the communication problems aren't as evident. I'm still bitter about "not adapting because the world doesn't adapt to me" though... those who are closest to you are supposed to adapt. If someone was blind in one eye i'd make every effort to stand on their good side. Same difference.
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I see where you're going, and I don't blame you. Adaptation should mean new opportunities, and a chance to meet new friends.
 
My mom didn't at first and she made me as hearing as much as she could by not letting me learn ASL, putting me in a mainstreamed program, and putting me around hearing kids. She did the same to my brother but after 5 years of struggling, my brother was sent to the Deaf school. She saw my brother as the deaf one and me as the hearing one. Growing up, I didn't know any difference and struggled trying to be the hearing person everyone expected me to be. Then I learned ASL and discovered the Deaf community in my late 20s and went through an anger phase at my mom for not accepting my deafness and not letting me go to a Deaf school. My mom has now realized how much happier I have been since learning ASL and has apologized. Now, she has accepted it

My dad has always accepted it and did whatever my mom decided.
 
MangaReader said:
That's often the problem. Deaf classes/school go at a slower pace than hearing classes and not as advanced. I remember there was a Driver's Education class for the deaf only or hearing class and we could pick at my mainstreamed High School. The difference was the hearing class only had it for a semester. The deaf class was for the whole school year. (2 semesters) Many of us chose the hearing class to finish quicker.
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Pls...not that myth. I don't know about driver's ed but for academics, Deaf schools do follow the public school's curriculum and there is no difference except that Deaf schools uses two languages while the public schools don't
 
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Frisky Feline said:
That is a damn good question. :ugh3:
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I didnt share it here because it does not relate with me. I do think he did have a good question for hearing parents to read this one and realize that their deaf kids WOULD feel that way about the parents to them.
 
GenghisJohn said:
I wasn't allowed to use captions on the tv because it distracted them from their show/movie,

My experiences, from what I've read and learned, are very atypical and yet I think everyone who is different physically is shunned or ostracized to some degree. I often wonder if it's simply human nature, some latent human instinct that causes us to react like that...
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by the time CC became mandatory, I was 10-11 years. I had the arguments with my so-called family about having the cc on while watching tv.
And because I was HoH, they'd have a hard time grasping the fact just because I wore hearing aids, I still had a difficult time hearing cleaely.

I agree with that statement very strongly. Thats how I felt growing up. So, I became ashamed of being HoH and kept it hidden. My sisters and I were born very close in age, all under 3years. All I can remember now is the feelings of being ignored by them and not feeling included in their lives as we were growing up.

I went to school that had a program for the Deaf/HoH up to H.S. Then went to an all-mainstream school.

My mother was the only one that knew very little ASL.
 
No, they didn't refuse to accept. At first, they got upset when they found out about my older brother being Deaf. They didnt know that he was deaf until he was 2 years old.
 
My mom and my siblings knows sign language. My father and stepfather are too lazy to learn sign language.
 
katz4life said:
No, they didn't refuse to accept. At first, they got upset when they found out about my older brother being Deaf. They didnt know that he was deaf until he was 2 years old.
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REALLY??????? wow!!! So they sent him to a deaf school instead of oral school? curious why?
 
Frisky Feline said:
REALLY??????? wow!!! So they sent him to a deaf school instead of oral school? curious why?
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Wth? Lol, you knew the whole story Karl told you. You were there all the time at Cleary with him. In your time before late 1970s, Cleary had a part of oralism method and SEE. Don't ya remember? And did your parents attend Cleary to take sign language class to learn? That is how my parents learned SL - recommended by doctor at once they found out Karl was deaf.
 
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