how long is it okay to wait for a date

Sally

I'm not really attracted to anyone now. I did ask a girl if she wanted to hang out sometime but we didn't hang out at all. A friend of mine told me to remind her but I'm sure if she really wanted to then we would have. I also didn't want to seem like I'm trying to force the matter either.
 
James, I would tell a guy let's have a beer sometime as a *hint.* I figured if the guy was interested, he'd arrange it. If you're not attracted to the girl in question, then don't bother.

I didn't ask guys out because I had a couple of bad experiences with it. Maybe it was just bad luck.

When you meet a girl that you're interested in, arrange that beer or cup of coffee. :fingersx: <--- fingers crossed for good luck for you!
 
Thanks Sally. I usually don't talk to girls and ask if they would like to do things. This actually was the first time for me asking a girl that I didn't really know if she wanted to do something. It might be a long time before I even ask a girl that I'm attracted to, to do something. People usually say to go out and get something to drink. That just seem's sooo common. Maybe a walk on a trail or a walk along the beach. Maybe a team activity that's new to the both of us???
 
I like the walking idea. It's important to be able to talk on the first date so you can get to know each other.

You sound like my hubby. He didn't ask women out much either. I called him and suggested that he stop my and see me. He did. We've been married 18 years now. Maybe the right girl needs to ask? It seems that way.
 
sallylou said:
I like the walking idea. It's important to be able to talk on the first date so you can get to know each other.

You sound like my hubby. He didn't ask women out much either. I called him and suggested that he stop my and see me. He did. We've been married 18 years now. Maybe the right girl needs to ask? It seems that way.
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It sounds that way but I doubt it'll happen. I'll be waiting around forever for a girl to ask me. I like the walking idea too. A friend and I did that and it was nice to just talk. Plus it was at an old elementary school that I went to, so I got to explain to her what everything was like when I went there over 11 years ago. She was familiar with the area. So did you ask your husband out??? It would be nice to see alot more girls asking guys out. Some girls I know have alot of guys that like them but they can just pick and choose which ones that they want to date if they did like them. Some of them just don't have the list but know that they have alot of guys that like them.... it's crazy.
 
I called my husband and pretty much told my him to come see me. He was like you--he didn't ask women out. It was going to take a brick wall to fall on him. He needed some encouragement! Hubby is introverted and nerdy (an engineer!). I'm pretty nerdy, too, so it was nerd love. LOL! I was 27 and hubby was 29 when we married.

You seem younger than almost 30, so give it some time. Dating in my early-mid 20's was pretty crazy. It was hard to find someone who had the same values and interests. Most of the guys weren't interested in a long-term relationship at that point in their lives. Older men asked me out but I never felt comfortable dating older guys.

The girl for you is busy studying and getting her life in order. She'll come along, and take the hint! Don't make her drop a brick wall on you!
 
Sigh...hey JamesColeman

Dating is never right. That is for evildoers' doing.

Dating is always the waste of time...why being so selfish by just getting to know someone then one day you don't interest in her then fuck her over? That is no way of friendship, respect, love, and caress.

I never dated in my life and I thank God for that because there is integrity in human being...and my girlfriend never dated in her life so there is integrity in another human being...makes it right.

Keep breaking up with people for fun (doesn't matter when say if doesn't it work out" and bsbs) after just getting to know each other and play around such as kissing, holding hands and even sex actions...how's that looks the right thing to do? *rme* *smh*

Friendship for a long period of time (say, at least half a year to 5 years) is always the best way, sometimes can lead to commitment relationship if there is right match with common interests and background personal life then marriage WITHOUT a mistake. Make sure there is no mind games, head-on games, hidden secret games and shit. Unless, you are doing that evil wrongdoing....so well I'm the wrong person to post this for you.

How could you get to know EVERYTHING about this friend person on one day or one month. Could you? Oh, please.

To make sure that by knowing everything about this person (by friendship/serious friendship ---never dating) before jumping into the loving serious relationship is at least 2 years to up. Depending on her/his age...for example if she is 18..well it's easy to catch a lot since she/he lives thru 18 years...if she/he's 30, the more time to know about her/his personal life and etc. But very depending on her/his honesty, her/his record, her/his behavior and hidden agendas. Like a hawk-watching the friendships around you and even behind your back.

To skip a friendship, it clearly states the one night stand/non-friendship intimacy active user. That's 100 percent wasteful time in life itself. That's so low.
 
Douglas, you sound like a guy worth catching. :wave: I agree that it's best to take your time and get to know each other. I knew hubby 9 years before I married him. That's why he needed some encouragement! That and I waited to get out of grad school. It was worth the wait. I appreciated him more after I had dated some jerks. :lol:
 
sallylou said:
I called my husband and pretty much told my him to come see me. He was like you--he didn't ask women out. It was going to take a brick wall to fall on him. He needed some encouragement! Hubby is introverted and nerdy (an engineer!). I'm pretty nerdy, too, so it was nerd love. LOL! I was 27 and hubby was 29 when we married.

You seem younger than almost 30, so give it some time. Dating in my early-mid 20's was pretty crazy. It was hard to find someone who had the same values and interests. Most of the guys weren't interested in a long-term relationship at that point in their lives. Older men asked me out but I never felt comfortable dating older guys.

The girl for you is busy studying and getting her life in order. She'll come along, and take the hint! Don't make her drop a brick wall on you!
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I'm 21 going on 22 here pretty soon. I'm mostly introverted and nerdy too lol. I really like the story. You really think that she's out there studying???!!! Thats cool though, I think you gave me part of the answer to "where is she?"
It's hard to find someone who is up to my expectations. I do make exceptions but with those, that means I'll loosen my grip on what I want and be more accepting of the things that she'll do that I won't like about her. My cousin told me that she'll have expectations of me too. This is true and I've never thought about that. I know the girl will have wants from the guy but what she told me, gave me more to think about it. I guess it was just something that I would automatically know.
 
Here is how it usually works for me. I meet the person, then we might talk on the phone ones during that week and end up setting something up to hang out. We usually end up kissing by the second or third time we hang out (second or third week). We end up getting physical (bed) by the end of the first month or sometimes during the second month. If it all works well, you keep seeing that person, otherwise, you move on. I don't ask them to be in an exclusive relationship unless I really like them and until about the 3rd or 4th month. However, most women will start asking you what is going on about the second or third time that they have slept with you...
 
mariano said:
Here is how it usually works for me. I meet the person, then we might talk on the phone ones during that week and end up setting something up to hang out. We usually end up kissing by the second or third time we hang out (second or third week). We end up getting physical (bed) by the end of the first month or sometimes during the second month. If it all works well, you keep seeing that person, otherwise, you move on. I don't ask them to be in an exclusive relationship unless I really like them and until about the 3rd or 4th month. However, most women will start asking you what is going on about the second or third time that they have slept with you...
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That's really going fast. :shock:
 
Yes, that seems fast to me, too. That would have scared me off. Each person is different, I guess.

James, enjoy meeting new people and do whatever feels comfortable for you.

P.S. I'm partial to people named James because I have a son named James. Great name, it is!
 
I don't think that is fast at all. This is how things usually work for both my friends and I. Then again, I live in a big city, so that might change things?
 
mariano said:
I don't think that is fast at all. This is how things usually work for both my friends and I. Then again, I live in a big city, so that might change things?
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It is not fast for me. It was how I roll too when I was single. :D
 
sallylou said:
Yes, that seems fast to me, too. That would have scared me off. Each person is different, I guess.

James, enjoy meeting new people and do whatever feels comfortable for you.

P.S. I'm partial to people named James because I have a son named James. Great name, it is!
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I woulda thought it would scare off girls as well.
Yea James is a good name to have :D lol
 
mariano said:
I don't think that is fast at all. This is how things usually work for both my friends and I. Then again, I live in a big city, so that might change things?
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It might be because you are in a bigger city and theres alot of people available to date. I just couldn't go that fast. :shock:
 
Yea, I think it all comes down to comfort. However, if you are a guy, you might want to speed things up, as long as you don't make the gal feel uncomfortable... Why speed things up? The reality is that if you don't someone else will. I know it sounds wrong, but that is the truth...
 
It depends on the people. Some people click really fast and others take a long time to develop a relationship. So if you click fast, then a few weeks might be plenty, but if you take longer than maybe closer to a year.
 
Get a date for fun experience. See how that goes, If it doesn't work out then move on. Always plenty of fishes in the sea. One day, you'll fall in love with that person.

Life's too short. ;)
 
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