How do you feel when someone stare at you....

Hear Again said:
that's not a problem, society's_child. please go ahead and continue your discussion with deafdoc. :)
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No, no it's okay really. I wasn't having a dicussion with him. I just asked him a question, that's all. Stick around. ;)
 
Mayberries said:
I try not to be rude because if that person was interested in ASL, saw me signing and then I flicked them off or something, that's one less hearing person that makes the effort to communicate with Deaf/HoH folk.

It bothers me, sure, but I usually just catch their eye and smile.
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Gee... that explains why some hearing people say that deaf people are rude. ;)
 
Some people don't intentionally mean to stare, they could be very intrigued at how we communicate with our hands as they probably were not exposed to other languages besides the spoken tongue.

I admit to "people-watching" as I love observing people. When it comes to a couple signing, I will turn away and give them the respect and privacy of not observing their conversation. It is something I would appreciate other Deaf people do the same to me.
 
Mrs Bucket said:
Some people don't intentionally mean to stare, they could be very intrigued at how we communicate with our hands as they probably were not exposed to other languages besides the spoken tongue.

I admit to "people-watching" as I love observing people. When it comes to a couple signing, I will turn away and give them the respect and privacy of not observing their conversation. It is something I would appreciate other Deaf people do the same to me.
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Agreed. I do the same thing by doing "people-watching" as well. It's not only for me to stare at them. Most of the time, I do that is because I get to see or to analyze how the behavioral language comes across with no words that are spoken for. It's quite interesting to see how people inter react with others.

As for staring, I don't do that either but I must say, some of the time when I see something that is "new" to me, the curiosity usually gets the best of me. It always has left me pondering a thing or two.

Now, If I'm being stared at and when I do know that I'm being stared at, I usually wave with a smile and say "How may I help you?". That usually works because it either breaks the "ice" with the starer or it makes them uncomfortable (and I don't purposely make them uncomfortable). It's just only to send a "message" to note that they know that I'm being watched. What I mean by breaking the "ice" is when they could be curious and wanted to know more about the sign language or whatever it is.

Also, another thing is, having an autistic son in the public view isn't a piece of cake either. Most of the time, People would give me a weird look and wonder why my son is behaving oddly. Sure, it makes me feel embarrassed but I try not to show it. I just go on and explain that he's autistic. At some point, it annoys me when I hear this "Oh no, I'm so sorry." over and over again. I know they do mean well by not realizing it but when you get that comment over and over again, it kinds of gets a bit old.
 
Oh I can understand how you feel Jolie.

The feeling when one parent looks down on the other parent when you just know you are doing your best. I don't have children at all but I know that feeling from working at the group home.

I'd get that nagging feeling from people who'd stare at us and give us reprimanding looks. Their reprimanding looks just spoke for them and it was as if the clients had no right being in society & should be forever sheltered in the group home.

Oh believe me, Jolie.. I know the feeling.
 
meyag2 said:
So, is it rude to stare? (I know people have the right to look because it's a free country). How do you feel when someone stare at you? because you sign with your friends or whoever.
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Very, very sad.:( (and sometimes hostile:) )
 
Mrs Bucket said:
Oh I can understand how you feel Jolie.

The feeling when one parent looks down on the other parent when you just know you are doing your best. I don't have children at all but I know that feeling from working at the group home.

I'd get that nagging feeling from people who'd stare at us and give us reprimanding looks. Their reprimanding looks just spoke for them and it was as if the clients had no right being in society & should be forever sheltered in the group home.

Oh believe me, Jolie.. I know the feeling.
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Precisely. If my son and I are around people that are familiar with us, That's no problem.

I've oftenly got some reactions when some other parents are "whispering" or acting as if they want nothing to do with us at all. I'm like... "Hello? Just because we're different doesn't mean that we can't get to do other things too."

Of course, everyone is not like that. Some of the time, I get parents being curious and they're inquiring their minds to ask me questions which I'm more than happy to answer as the best as to my ability. When it comes to others that are not so "acceptable" of it, It just makes me feel that there is no point to try to be open about it.
 
Yes, some days are good and some days are not. The point is to be very open and communicate because socialisation is very important.

Familiarity is also very important. Society needs to realise that autism is very fragile and also not something to be swept under the carpet when it needs to be dealt with.

I totally get you, Jolie. :hug:
 
society's_child said:
Coincidence, lol. I've been doing some reading up on sci..what's your level of injury if you don't mind me asking?
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Sorry I missed your post! I'm a C7 quad. I have use of my shoulders, elbows, and I have wrist extension. I have a little finger flexion and wrist flexion, but no hand intrinsics. That means I can't spread or cross my fingers, and my thumbs just kind of hang out to the side. I also can't isolate finger movements, they all just move together. Makes spelling "R", "M", and many other letters challenging. My Deaf friends seem to catch on very quickly to my "quad" accent, though. :giggle:
 
I usually sign "Whats Up" to people who are staring at me and they cld not rely back in sign language. Go figure :)
 
When someone gives me that kinda unwanted attention and i'm having a crappy day...i just say, "what the fuck you looking at?!"...yeah i know it's not the greatest thing but I hate it wen ppl stare at me. Other days I would ask if they are curious about something or if they have a problem and needs help :)
 
I'd think the person who was staring at me wanted to be me or hates me, I might beat that person up for wanting to be me, but not for hating me.
 
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