HOH men...how to approach girls to talk to or ask out on a date?

kellycat said:
I agree with you...if it is on a date after we made initial contact. I am familiar with FM units, so it might not throw ME, but the average woman would find it bizarre if some strange guy in a bar gave them a microphone to use, don't you think?
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Maybe that's the problem...I'd appear to be a stranger. But what if she's a friend of a friend and I'm being introduced to her? My friend could just explain that I have a hearing loss and the mic will help me to hear. Then I would come off as less creepy.
 
For what it's worth, maybe your date will have a family member, relative, friend(s), or someone she/he used to know long time ago who is deaf.

I know nothing about mic or CART as I wouldn't benefit from them, but please just be yourself on a date. It'll help your self esteem.
 
Yeah, Mrk, if it's a friend of a friend that gives you credibility already. It's proof that you aren't some total creep. That pretty much goes for everything though, not just the FM system.

And yeah, Derek, you're right too--I certainly don't say to not be yourself. I wouldn't suggest he hide or deny hearing loss. Just that in the 2.4 seconds you have to make that first impression, passing a microphone might not be it. After a moment or two of flirting if there is a vibe there, THEN say, "Y'know I'm HOH and it's really hard for me to hear in this noise. Can you use this microphone that transmits to my HAs?" Some girls might just say, "Uh, nevermind" and walk away. But I'd guess most girls would be receptive. They just may need a moment to process it, and if they've already decided you're a potential date (trust me, we make that initial decision really quickly) they will make that effort. Girls are not expecting an FM system, so they should be given some benefit of the doubt in hesitating or being taken aback.

It's like if you took a girl to your turbocharged car, and all she knows is that they use more gas. Maybe she's really environmentally conscious. So you just tell her you have a super awesome car although don't tell her right away it's turbocharged. Then she goes for a ride with you and sees how awesome it is, she will totally fall in love with it and only want turbocharged cars after that. But if you told her in the first instant it was a turbocharged car, she would have walked away and never know what she's missing.
 
yep but start by telling her you have a hearing loss that way she is prepared as i found out to my loss after 10 months beig with her by trying to hide it but online dating is great I love it.
 
I think it's a lot harder for deaf guys to date hearing women than it is for deaf women to date hearing guys.

Hearing women put a lot of importance on easy fluid communication and they tend to be much more judgmental of speaking skills because of the importance they place on spoken communication.
 
As a HOH man who dated and then married a hearing lady, I used the friendship route. Not as a cynical pick-up tactic - I'm just not comfortable going up to strangers and trying to hit on them. Rather it helped women to see who I really was and gave them time to decide whether they'd like spend more time in my company. Sadly some hearing woman will not want to date you solely because you are deaf. Happily I can say from experience there are some that will.

P.S. As an oral mainstreamed deafie, I never met another deaf/HOH woman - was always surrounded by hearies. But it would have been an attractive option if I had known any.
 
DeafCaroline said:
I think it's a lot harder for deaf guys to date hearing women than it is for deaf women to date hearing guys.

Hearing women put a lot of importance on easy fluid communication and they tend to be much more judgmental of speaking skills because of the importance they place on spoken communication.
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I think it depends on how much hearing loss you have and how well you can speak. My hearing is still good enough to carry on a conversation in a quiet situation (and some light background noise situations), and I am able to speak quite well. I actually consider myself to be more hearing than deaf. I would say that confidence and the ability to be comfortable around hearing people helps a lot.

But I should emphasize that while I consider myself more hearing than deaf, I would be open to dating someone who is deaf or HOH. I think I would be able to relate to them on a completely different level than with the hearing people that I normally hang around with. I just haven't had many opportunities to meet them since I'm busy with grad school right now. I'll probably check out some DHH associations once things settle down a bit.
 
I met my wife on match.com and she is the absolute perfect person for me. Chatting up random women is always a bit of a long shot.
 
kellycat said:
Don't give up. The right gal is out there. I have pretty much decided that I'm not likely to meet Mr. Right in a bar. I am NOT the gal that guys go up to and flirt with. I am guessing it will come from meeting through a friend or an activity I do. At least we would for sure have SOMETHING in common.
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How is that possible? I believe that everyone is approachable unless one sends out vibes or has a huge flashing sign that says "do not talk to me".

You have just been approached.....wanna flirt?
 
dakewldude said:
How is that possible? I believe that everyone is approachable unless one sends out vibes or has a huge flashing sign that says "do not talk to me".

You have just been approached.....wanna flirt?
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:wave: :giggle: Absolutely. So, you from around here? :naughty:
 
dakewldude said:
How is that possible? I believe that everyone is approachable unless one sends out vibes or has a huge flashing sign that says "do not talk to me".

You have just been approached.....wanna flirt?
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Actually, this is not true. In fact, women send out vibes that they don't want to be approached or asked out. I mean, be reasonable, you can't have people constantly asking you out and not have a defense system either conscious or unconscious. The fact is they cannot and should not go out with everyone.
 
Hey, step aside, VacationGuy, I'm trying to flirt with dakewldude!

Trust me, I would LOVE to be approached by guys. Maybe I'm just hideous, or have some sort of pheremone disorder, because I have never been approached in a bar by any guy.

I realize women cannot and should not go out with everyone.

And I don't want to go out with just anyone.

But I'd like to get some attention from SOMEONE! lol
 
VacationGuy234 said:
Actually, this is not true. In fact, women send out vibes that they don't want to be approached or asked out. I mean, be reasonable, you can't have people constantly asking you out and not have a defense system either conscious or unconscious. The fact is they cannot and should not go out with everyone.
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HUH? This is an oxymoron post! You just said exactly what I said.

Epic fail post.
 
kellycat said:
Hey, step aside, VacationGuy, I'm trying to flirt with dakewldude!

Trust me, I would LOVE to be approached by guys. Maybe I'm just hideous, or have some sort of pheremone disorder, because I have never been approached in a bar by any guy.

I realize women cannot and should not go out with everyone.

And I don't want to go out with just anyone.

But I'd like to get some attention from SOMEONE! lol
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LOL....
Don't worry as you are not alone. I have not been approached by any woman (not even a gay guy) in a bar either.

Everybody.....this lady needs some attention!

Now you have my attention (its short and can be easily distracted) so.....
 
Yay!

:cheers:

Not too far...I'm in A small suburb of Chicago known as Wisconsin. Lol

But yeah, if I send out negative vibes in a bar, trust me, I don't mean to. Maybe I'm "vibe-impaired"? (hard of vibing?).
 
kellycat said:
Hey, step aside, VacationGuy, I'm trying to flirt with dakewldude!

Trust me, I would LOVE to be approached by guys. Maybe I'm just hideous, or have some sort of pheremone disorder, because I have never been approached in a bar by any guy.

I realize women cannot and should not go out with everyone.

And I don't want to go out with just anyone.

But I'd like to get some attention from SOMEONE! lol
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I wouldn't stand in the way of true love. Wish you the best..
 
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