HoH/deaf = Deaf ?

Ryssie

Ryssie

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The other day, a friend had told me that I am Deaf if I identify with the culture even though I'm Hard of Hearing. I thought that was really nice of her to say since I'm still new to the cultural part of things. But, I have also been told by others that there is a difference between deaf and hard of hearing and actually being Deaf. Which one is true? What's your opinion? Just wondering :lol:
 
Seems to me it depends on who you ask, my local Deaf community is very nice and welcoming, larger groups seem to try to push me away, and hearing tell me Deaf is deaf. I am puzzling that out as well. Some here seem welcoming other seem to shun..... Glad I am not alone in this situation
 
Thanks for the response. Often times, I wake up feeling 'Deaf strong' but as the day progresses and I immerse myself in more interaction between my hearing friends instead of my Deaf friends, I feel slightly 'less Deaf'...does that make sense to you? I can't explain it, but since I'm the only HoH person in my ASL class, I feel kind of strange when some of my Deaf friends forget and refer me as hearing. I guess it's not a big deal, but I've had issues in the past with identifying as a Deafie because of audism and ignorance.
 
Sounds very familiar..... my daughter says she's glad I am deaf because if her hearing gets worse she knows she can still be happy. Only one other kid at her school is not hearing and he's 2 grades ahead so.....
 
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I feel more comfortable with my Deaf friends sometimes and then other times I'm more comfortable with my hearing friends. I guess I'm stuck in the middle. I was told that's common for those of us who are Hard of Hearing (not sure how true that is). Apparently, there is no strong Deaf identity because we are in between.
 
I had a strong disagreement with someone who kept calling me and telling people I was deaf when I'm HoH. I don't think I care to argue that anymore, but the thing that I hate is when people get mad or frustrated with me because they speak low, from another room or turned away from me and I fail to hear them.

I should check into a deaf group in the Vegas area, but like the LGBT community, everyone seems to despise me as the T and I fear to be despised for being HoH in a deaf type group.
 
It all has to do with perspectives of both Hearing and Deaf worlds, then it's how you view yourself. In the Hearing perspective, everything is based on the scale of Hearing, so unless you are stone-deaf and hear nada,you are not deaf at all, but maybe hard of hearing. You are only considered Deaf if you are born to parents who are Deaf and have grown up only knowing sign language as your first language. If you are in that category, then you become alienated by them because they cannot relate to you.

In the Deaf world, however, everything is based on deafness. Note, I didn't say scale of deafness here. It is more culture-based, because everyone ranging from mild to profound can identify in common experiences and perspectives of society around them. There is a gravity toward people who are just like themselves and understand each other in what they face in the world. There is pride in a common identity. The more you understand this identity, the more Deaf you become.
 
If you do socialize with Deaf people, and sign a lot and hang out with them. Guess why they called you. BUT Beclak is right, its your decision to feel what your identify is. It does not matter.. as long as you can communicate with people whoever you notice and will know more about yourself.
 
In my experience, for someone to embrace Deaf Culture and be part of that community that person needs to have the belief that being deaf is not a disability and that there is no need for any correction.

I'm told there are modified versions of this and that it doesn't necessarily mean, "no need for any correction" anymore. However, I haven't seen proof of this.

Depending on what side of this issue a person identifies themselves, it may or may not be perceived as a compliment.
 
Savik, in my experience, I've never seen non-Deaf separate themselves from HoH. Are you sure that person wasn't referring to Deaf with a capital D?

Of the sub class deaf(those with hearing loss), there are two types of groups, that I know of, one with which identifies hearing loss(deafness) as something to improve on(disability) and one which does not. The group which does not identifies themselves as "Deaf". The other group doesn't make a distinctive identification, they don't feel the need for their own group(even though it is a much larger group).
 
Wirelessly posted

BecLak said:
It all has to do with perspectives of both Hearing and Deaf worlds, then it's how you view yourself. In the Hearing perspective, everything is based on the scale of Hearing, so unless you are stone-deaf and hear nada,you are not deaf at all, but maybe hard of hearing. You are only considered Deaf if you are born to parents who are Deaf and have grown up only knowing sign language as your first language. If you are in that category, then you become alienated by them because they cannot relate to you.

In the Deaf world, however, everything is based on deafness. Note, I didn't say scale of deafness here. It is more culture-based, because everyone ranging from mild to profound can identify in common experiences and perspectives of society around them. There is a gravity toward people who are just like themselves and understand each other in what they face in the world. There is pride in a common identity. The more you understand this identity, the more Deaf you become.
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Thanks for the clarity. I don't see it as a disability but a difference. We're all different, right? That's how I look at it. With that being said, I feel that some Deaf people don't want to assimilate with someone with a mild loss, I feel like maybe if I say I'm Deaf, people will take it as deaf and will judge me for misrepresenting the culture. Furthermore, I would love to always sign but with the way my hearing friends and family are, they will expect me to talk. I don't have a deaf accent but I do feel overwhelmed when I talk. I don't feel that way when I sign. I have a lot of love for the Deaf culture and truly feel apart of it. But I feel that others always have something to say and that makes me extremely self conscious. :(
 
Wirelessly posted

And by others, I mean hearing people who usually have something to say about my descisions.
 
worry less what the hearies think or say. let them move the lips bababababababa
what ever
cow it!!
 
Ryssie said:
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I feel more comfortable with my Deaf friends sometimes and then other times I'm more comfortable with my hearing friends. I guess I'm stuck in the middle. I was told that's common for those of us who are Hard of Hearing (not sure how true that is). Apparently, there is no strong Deaf identity because we are in between.
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That's due to audism......assuming that just b/c a Dhh person has residual hearing, they're automaticly more "hearing then deaf",whatever THAT means......
 
deafdyke said:
That's due to audism......assuming that just b/c a Dhh person has residual hearing, they're automaticly more "hearing then deaf",whatever THAT means......
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@deafdyke, that's what I'm so confused about. If I could not care about what others thought of me, then maybe I'd feel better and more comfortable about my Deafness. But ever since a friend told me to stop signing while in conversation and embarrassed me in front of others, and other people always say little things that make me self conscious like, "Do you always have to sign?" stuff like that. So I don't feel as confident as I should. I feel like I'm not worthy of Deafhood or something.
 
Ryssie said:
@deafdyke, that's what I'm so confused about. If I could not care about what others thought of me, then maybe I'd feel better and more comfortable about my Deafness. But ever since a friend told me to stop signing while in conversation and embarrassed me in front of others, and other people always say little things that make me self conscious like, "Do you always have to sign?" stuff like that. So I don't feel as confident as I should. I feel like I'm not worthy of Deafhood or something.
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Just ignore your friend(s) or hearing people for critizing you for signing. You don't have to be a small (meaning feel cower or feeling ashame of yourself) by your audist friend. That is a mean thing for a friend to comment saying do you always have to sign? You can always use your voice while signing so that your friend can understand what the conversation is about.

Anyway, your "friend" is not your friend if he or she belittle you on little things to make you self conscious. That is not nice. You have a right to be comfortable and happy with the Deaf Community, even if you were in the Deaf events. I don't like hearing people put deafies down. We should be positive, not be negative. :(
 
Bebonang said:
Just ignore your friend(s) or hearing people for critizing you for signing. You don't have to be a small (meaning feel cower or feeling ashame of yourself) by your audist friend. That is a mean thing for a friend to comment saying do you always have to sign? You can always use your voice while signing so that your friend can understand what the conversation is about.

Anyway, your "friend" is not your friend if he or she belittle you on little things to make you self conscious. That is not nice. You have a right to be comfortable and happy with the Deaf Community, even if you were in the Deaf events. I don't like hearing people put deafies down. We should be positive, not be negative. :(
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Thanks so much! That means a lot to me. And fyi, I did speak while signing and a few people called it 'too distracting'. I guess I'll try to build tougher skin and be more positive. Opinions of others matter to me...that's my biggest pet peeve. The good thing is, I have support from others like family and all of you here. :)
 
That's why I like animals better than people. No one asks deaf ferrets whether they identifies as being deaf or Deaf. Deaf cats would rather talk about chasing mice. Have you heard of deaf cats who retired from chasing mice because their ears aren't good ? I feel like I'm riding Merry Go Round again and again with this Deaf/deaf question.

Somewhere, there are deaf ferrets running and hiding your shoes while you worry about identifying with other people.
 
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