Hi ... Need help !

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joetheclaw

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Hi guys and girls ...
I am a hearing man falling in love with a woman that has a CI ... she hears OK ... but she must read lips in order to understand me !
So , my question is ...
If I marry her , what are the possibilities that we get deaf kids ? provided that her parents both are hearing but are relatives ?
If you have any advices to make this relationship perfect , please provide me with it ....
Thanks ,
Joseph
 
joetheclaw said:
Hi guys and girls ...
I am a hearing man falling in love with a woman that has a CI ... she hears OK ... but she must read lips in order to understand me !
So , my question is ...
If I marry her , what are the possibilities that we get deaf kids ? provided that her parents both are hearing but are relatives ?
If you have any advices to make this relationship perfect , please provide me with it ....
Thanks ,
Joseph
Click to expand...

It depends on the cause of her deafness and whether it is inheritable.

If you are already worried about that, you may want to rethink your relationship.
 
joetheclaw said:
Hi guys and girls ...
I am a hearing man falling in love with a woman that has a CI ... she hears OK ... but she must read lips in order to understand me !
So , my question is ...
If I marry her , what are the possibilities that we get deaf kids ? provided that her parents both are hearing but are relatives ?
If you have any advices to make this relationship perfect , please provide me with it ....
Thanks ,
Joseph
Click to expand...

I don't mean to sound like a jerk here, but, you need to think of your love as any other woman out there. Treat her with respect, love, and understanding just like any other human, and your relationship will be good. Just because she wears a CI, it does not mean she is an alien.

Like Botts said above, if you are worried about having deaf children, look elsewhere. Just remember this: you don't get to choose how your baby turns out. What you get is what you get.

Some members here might take offense at your question, but we understand your concern.
 
We might have gotten on the wrong foot here ... :)
What i meant was that I love her ... she loves me ... we are absolutely understanding each other ... I really don't care about her CI ... I gave that information in my question so that may be someone with a similar condition would tell me about their experience ...
And yes ... it is inherited ... she has 2 sisters ( one hearing and the other is deaf ) .. she has one uncle who is deaf too !
What i need to know is the possibilities of having deaf kids ... so that i prepare my self to accept it !
The second question was just to know what difficulties am i going to face in the future with her ... and how to pave them in order to have the perfect life ...

And no , Bottesini ... I am not going to rethink that ... I LOVE HER !

Thank you very much for your answers ...
 
Hey Joe

joetheclaw said:
Hi guys and girls ...
I am a hearing man falling in love with a woman that has a CI ... she hears OK ... but she must read lips in order to understand me !
So , my question is ...
If I marry her , what are the possibilities that we get deaf kids ? provided that her parents both are hearing but are relatives ?
If you have any advices to make this relationship perfect , please provide me with it ....
Thanks ,
Joseph
Click to expand...

I have to agree with Botts and Green on this one. With any relationship it is going to take time and prayer. The way Christ loves his people is a full love it is not partial. no matter what hearing or deaf you love the kids because they are your babies. I can only speak on this from a hearing perspective. my ex had a problem with black people...He liked me just not my culture his mother didn't take too kindly to me either, he had a concern about marrying me because our children would be like me, in the end i had to cut him loose. you should make a decision today in prayer of how you are going to love this beautiful woman, are you going to love her half way or all the way.
Its a Hard truth but i pray you find your way
if you love any woman with half of your heart they might leave you in the end
God Bless
 
Sounds like a 50/50 chance your children will inherit the deafness gene.

You can visit a geneticist to discuss. Most insurance companies will pay for it.
 
To my understanding of my family, not my children, but my children's children, there will be some deaf. My Aunt's daughter had a deaf child. So, yes, deafness is inherited in my family, altho' I was not born deaf, I lost mine.
Good luck with ur g/f....
 
I had an inherited hearing loss, but we don't know who I got it from. Both of my kids got it, but my daughter has no problems with hearing loss, my son does.

A lady in my deaf club had 3 children. All of her family is hearing as is all of her husband's family each for 4 generations that they know of. All 3 kids are deaf.

Also, in the deaf club, we have a lady who inherited a hearing loss, has a CI, husband is hearing. They have 5 children. 3 hearing and 2 deaf.

It basically "the luck of the draw". You never know the outcome.
 
Joe, my brother and I were both born deaf and there is absulotely no history of deafness in either my parents' families so even two hearing people with no history of deafness in their families can produce deaf children. Never know so always be prepared no matter what your chances are.
 
Shel ... your message was the best of all ... nobody knows what the children are going to be like :) That knows only GOD ...
Thanks for your message !
 
Shel ... your message was the best of all ... nobody knows what the children are going to be like :) That knows only GOD ...
Thanks for your message !
 
joetheclaw said:
We might have gotten on the wrong foot here ... :)
What i meant was that I love her ... she loves me ... we are absolutely understanding each other ... I really don't care about her CI ... I gave that information in my question so that may be someone with a similar condition would tell me about their experience ...
And yes ... it is inherited ... she has 2 sisters ( one hearing and the other is deaf ) .. she has one uncle who is deaf too !
What i need to know is the possibilities of having deaf kids ... so that i prepare my self to accept it !
The second question was just to know what difficulties am i going to face in the future with her ... and how to pave them in order to have the perfect life ...

And no , Bottesini ... I am not going to rethink that ... I LOVE HER !

Thank you very much for your answers ...
Click to expand...

If you can't currently accept a deaf child, you should not be in a relationship with a deaf woman.
 
Let's say all of your children will be deaf, and you communicating with your wife get cut off every now and then (batteries, broken processors, bedtime, swimming, etc.) , Are you willing to deal with that? You'll have to love them the way they are if you want to make it work
edited to add: If you don't want kids because you are afraid she'll had deaf kids, and She does, it isn't really fair for both of you. My mom's cousin (she had deaf parents even though she is hearing) wanted kids, but her husband did not want to have kids for the very same reason. She finally gave up on wanting kids. They stay married for many years with no children.
 
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It never should matter if the child is different than all other children.

It is your child, born from love and cherished together between you and your soon to be wife.

Embrace that.

...........and learn that patience is a virtue. You will need a lot of it with your wife and children.
 
Ms.Burton said:
I have to agree with Botts and Green on this one. With any relationship it is going to take time and prayer. The way Christ loves his people is a full love it is not partial. no matter what hearing or deaf you love the kids because they are your babies. I can only speak on this from a hearing perspective. my ex had a problem with black people...He liked me just not my culture his mother didn't take too kindly to me either, he had a concern about marrying me because our children would be like me, in the end i had to cut him loose. you should make a decision today in prayer of how you are going to love this beautiful woman, are you going to love her half way or all the way.
Its a Hard truth but i pray you find your way
if you love any woman with half of your heart they might leave you in the end
God Bless
Click to expand...

Please don't bring religion into it. Not everyone is religious and some may not appreciate it. I am a Christian but I don't preach or otherwise inflict my religion on anyone else. Some may even find it offensive if they belong to another religion and this should be respected.

joetheclaw said:
And yes ... it is inherited ... she has 2 sisters ( one hearing and the other is deaf ) .. she has one uncle who is deaf too !
What i need to know is the possibilities of having deaf kids ... so that i prepare my self to accept it !
The second question was just to know what difficulties am i going to face in the future with her ... and how to pave them in order to have the perfect life ...
Click to expand...

Based on her family history, it is possible that she could have a child born with deafness. However, this is a complicated matter. I suggest visiting a Geneticist who will be able to give you informative advice.

There's no such thing as a "perfect life". I suggest that you don't try and seek a "perfect life" because you will probably end up living a life full of disappointment instead. Life is partly about overcoming hurdles and making the best of what's available to you.

By saying "i need to know is the possibilities of having deaf kids ... so that i prepare my self to accept it !" you're suggesting that you have problems with the prospect of having a deaf child.

Many of us will be taken back by that comment, because it's something that most of us have had to live with for years, if not our entire lives. Most of us don't like to read comments which alienate us, either directly or indirectly. However, I do understand where you're coming from. Everyone wants the best for their child.

I think it would be better to take it one step at a time. Talk to your partner about your concerns but I strongly advise you not to say it in a way which implies that you would not accept a deaf child! You need to gain a better understanding of what it's like to be deaf as a child and the impact that it will have on them. + the ways to overcome any issues. It is normal to fear the unknown. When you become more familiar with it, you may find it easier to accept the prospect of having a deaf child.
 
to exr

No disrespect exr but it is your miss understanding that i am in any way religious, but i believe that there is a diff between that and spiritual, What you do with your beliefs is your own buisness but in a open forum i believe it is a persons right to express how the feel and the gentle man in question was asking what we thought... that is what i have done, am i a forceful christian, no that is not my style but it is a big part of my identity, people have the right to express there opinions and give their perspective just like you have and i respect you for it. now if i have offended you or anyone reading i apologize for those who are not offended...Keep the party going. God Bless:wave:
ExR said:
Please don't bring religion into it. Not everyone is religious and some may not appreciate it. I am a Christian but I don't preach or otherwise inflict my religion on anyone else. Some may even find it offensive if they belong to another religion and this should be respected.



Based on her family history, it is possible that she could have a child born with deafness. However, this is a complicated matter. I suggest visiting a Geneticist who will be able to give you informative advice.

There's no such thing as a "perfect life". I suggest that you don't try and seek a "perfect life" because you will probably end up living a life full of disappointment instead. Life is partly about overcoming hurdles and making the best of what's available to you.

By saying "i need to know is the possibilities of having deaf kids ... so that i prepare my self to accept it !" you're suggesting that you have problems with the prospect of having a deaf child.

Many of us will be taken back by that comment, because it's something that most of us have had to live with for years, if not our entire lives. Most of us don't like to read comments which alienate us, either directly or indirectly. However, I do understand where you're coming from. Everyone wants the best for their child.

I think it would be better to take it one step at a time. Talk to your partner about your concerns but I strongly advise you not to say it in a way which implies that you would not accept a deaf child! You need to gain a better understanding of what it's like to be deaf as a child and the impact that it will have on them. + the ways to overcome any issues. It is normal to fear the unknown. When you become more familiar with it, you may find it easier to accept the prospect of having a deaf child.
Click to expand...
 
Ms.Burton said:
No disrespect exr but it is your miss understanding that i am in any way religious, but i believe that there is a diff between that and spiritual, What you do with your beliefs is your own buisness but in a open forum i believe it is a persons right to express how the feel and the gentle man in question was asking what we thought... that is what i have done, am i a forceful christian, no that is not my style but it is a big part of my identity, people have the right to express there opinions and give their perspective just like you have and i respect you for it. now if i have offended you or anyone reading i apologize for those who are not offended...Keep the party going. God Bless:wave:
Click to expand...

Wrong. Not here you don't. Religion is banned.
 
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