Hi, I'm hearing and I need help

P

PrincessTabu

New Member
Joined
Jul 31, 2004
Messages
85
Reaction score
0
I could use some feedback from you. I'm a hearing parent of a deaf child. My experiences with Deaf people have been very positive for the most part. I started learning sign language first to communicate with my child, but the more I learned I developed a passion for sign language and deaf culture, the arts, sign to music, etc... After going thru a mid-life crisis, having quit work to take care of my kids, I decided I wanted to become an interpreter or at least go thru the interpreter program as I developed such a love for the language.

The problem is I've had negative experiences, I joined a few Deaf lists in order to develop positive relationships, but instead was exposed to angry and negative people, control and double standards. I've had a personal situation that was very disappointing to me, and then recently on the only list I stayed on a man has been on destruction mode with the school and staff where my son goes to school. These are good people who have literally picked the school up from collapse and have dilligently committed themselves to continue to improve the quality of education our students receive. What bothers me is that his word is taken at face value, he's fully supported with no accountability. The few people who dared to challenge it were trashed.

Right now I feel like I'm at a cross roads. I recently tested into the interpreter program and was accepted. It's been a few weeks that I"ve known, but I find myself postponing signing up for classes. I'm trying to get this all in perspective. I know right now my response is very emotional and not balanced in reality, yet right now I feel a loss of the passion I have felt in the past. I need to make a decision literally within a few days. I don't have the luxury of taking the classes and seeing how things go. Financially, if we make this committment I need to start making money at it. Or I need to get another job now.

I know this is long, but I'd really appreciate your input. What are the dynamics within the Deaf Community? I need a balanced perspective.
 
PrincessTabu said:
I could use some feedback from you. I'm a hearing parent of a deaf child. My experiences with Deaf people have been very positive for the most part. I started learning sign language first to communicate with my child, but the more I learned I developed a passion for sign language and deaf culture, the arts, sign to music, etc... After going thru a mid-life crisis, having quit work to take care of my kids, I decided I wanted to become an interpreter or at least go thru the interpreter program as I developed such a love for the language.

The problem is I've had negative experiences, I joined a few Deaf lists in order to develop positive relationships, but instead was exposed to angry and negative people, control and double standards. I've had a personal situation that was very disappointing to me, and then recently on the only list I stayed on a man has been on destruction mode with the school and staff where my son goes to school. These are good people who have literally picked the school up from collapse and have dilligently committed themselves to continue to improve the quality of education our students receive. What bothers me is that his word is taken at face value, he's fully supported with no accountability. The few people who dared to challenge it were trashed.

Right now I feel like I'm at a cross roads. I recently tested into the interpreter program and was accepted. It's been a few weeks that I"ve known, but I find myself postponing signing up for classes. I'm trying to get this all in perspective. I know right now my response is very emotional and not balanced in reality, yet right now I feel a loss of the passion I have felt in the past. I need to make a decision literally within a few days. I don't have the luxury of taking the classes and seeing how things go. Financially, if we make this committment I need to start making money at it. Or I need to get another job now.

I know this is long, but I'd really appreciate your input. What are the dynamics within the Deaf Community? I need a balanced perspective.
Click to expand...

Yes, I understand how you as feeling really frustrating...I would like to share some experience it did happen to my mother..she learned how to use sign language when I was 2 years old...She pick up pretty good but rite now due she is aging and getting old cause to forget alot..I dont blame on her anyway...when I was boy, my mother is very active in deaf community...she admit to me she tried to fit into group where she can discuss and feedback about how to raise me better into deaf world at same time learn to understand the perspective of hearing world...but they reject my mother most of time...it was time when I lived in west coast. When we moved to east coast things changed alot...my mother stopped get involved in deaf community not becuz of their negative but she had to work but part of it, she is frustrating about communication accessbile.

Now I am an adult, I looked back I thanked my mom for her enduring with full of patience nothing can stop her. I learned from my mother when she told me "Never reject hearing person who want to learn deaf culture or any related issue to deaf" Give them positive react toward them no matter how sound it..because my mom was rejected as hearing parent who want to learn. I learned from her...I always welcome hearing person who tried their better to learn sign language or wanted to communicate, no matter what. I must confess to you...this deafies who reject hearies are worse than foolish as similar if hearies reject deafies are worse than foolish, it dont make any difference. I know it is very frustrating when you tried to fit into where you wanted it to apply to your knowledge needs and everything.

My opinion the reason you received the negatives from them is because deafies (most cases of it) expose their negatives to hearies because they have been left out and neglected by hearies during their years of growing...deafies tend to use excuses "hearies are dumb they wont keep me company etc" I must admit it is true because it did happened to me...I suggest you to associate with positive than negative...and try to communicate with them to realize this you got deaf child and also wanted to become interpreter because you believe in something this you wanted to achieve...some deafies are close minded fyi...
 
I won't presume to know what stipulations surround your recent negative experience, but as in all cases, "walk a mile in his shoes" then make judgement. Its only when something is view from all perspectives that it can be fully understood. The same should be said to him as well. But the conditions of the arguement are unknown to me, so my input is restricted.

However, your negative reactions from the deaf community is rather rare, unless self-provoked. I am hearing, child of 2 deaf parents. My father is a deaf pastor and also a supervisor at the WI school for the deaf. I grew up in the deaf community from NJ to MN to WI. Now, I work for the deaf everyday, and love it. Rarely do I come across a negative deaf person. When I do, it seems as though their personality is a result of their upbringing as is true with anyone. My mother is usually at odds with most people, yet she is the most helpful, loving, christian woman I know.

So my advice is . . . If you feel it in your heart to become an interpreter, do so without your previous experiences weighing your judgement because the positive deaf people you do work with will generate nothing but more love for the community and will change your life.

Take care and I hope whatever decision you make is a wise one.

Luke

P.S. I commend you for taking such an interest in ASL. Your son will be forever grateful.
 
BigSpike said:
Yes, I understand how you as feeling really frustrating...I would like to share some experience it did happen to my mother..she learned how to use sign language when I was 2 years old...She pick up pretty good but rite now due she is aging and getting old cause to forget alot..I dont blame on her anyway...when I was boy, my mother is very active in deaf community...she admit to me she tried to fit into group where she can discuss and feedback about how to raise me better into deaf world at same time learn to understand the perspective of hearing world...but they reject my mother most of time...it was time when I lived in west coast. When we moved to east coast things changed alot...my mother stopped get involved in deaf community not becuz of their negative but she had to work but part of it, she is frustrating about communication accessbile.

Now I am an adult, I looked back I thanked my mom for her enduring with full of patience nothing can stop her. I learned from my mother when she told me "Never reject hearing person who want to learn deaf culture or any related issue to deaf" Give them positive react toward them no matter how sound it..because my mom was rejected as hearing parent who want to learn. I learned from her...I always welcome hearing person who tried their better to learn sign language or wanted to communicate, no matter what. I must confess to you...this deafies who reject hearies are worse than foolish as similar if hearies reject deafies are worse than foolish, it dont make any difference. I know it is very frustrating when you tried to fit into where you wanted it to apply to your knowledge needs and everything.

My opinion the reason you received the negatives from them is because deafies (most cases of it) expose their negatives to hearies because they have been left out and neglected by hearies during their years of growing...deafies tend to use excuses "hearies are dumb they wont keep me company etc" I must admit it is true because it did happened to me...I suggest you to associate with positive than negative...and try to communicate with them to realize this you got deaf child and also wanted to become interpreter because you believe in something this you wanted to achieve...some deafies are close minded fyi...
Click to expand...

BigSpike, here's a BIG HUG!

Sometimes you just need to have someone understand, it makes it easier and really helps put things in perspective. Even tho these things have happened, I think of the many wonderful supportive Deaf people I've known over these years. Thanks so much!

PT
 
Then you been to the bad lists, time move on to good lists.

Deaf community is like a bucket of mostly good apples and of course
theres a few bad apples within community.

This a good place to share your thoughts w/o seeing a mad war going on
or getting bit for it.

Richard
 
Nesmuth said:
Then you been to the bad lists, time move on to good lists.

Deaf community is like a bucket of mostly good apples and of course
theres a few bad apples within community.

This a good place to share your thoughts w/o seeing a mad war going on
or getting bit for it.

Richard
Click to expand...

Thanks Richard, and you're right about this forum.
 
PrincessTabu said:
BigSpike, here's a BIG HUG!

Sometimes you just need to have someone understand, it makes it easier and really helps put things in perspective. Even tho these things have happened, I think of the many wonderful supportive Deaf people I've known over these years. Thanks so much!

PT
Click to expand...


Sure :cheers: ;) your welcome anytime if you got any questions just shoot! One things...I was taught this any negative reaction will have negative result...any positive reaction will result in positive result, this is always i thought and learned from famous author, lecturer, and pastor Norman Vincent Peale...he is well know for help people achieve their self esteem smile!
 
BigSpike said:
Sure :cheers: ;) your welcome anytime if you got any questions just shoot! One things...I was taught this any negative reaction will have negative result...any positive reaction will result in positive result, this is always i thought and learned from famous author, lecturer, and pastor Norman Vincent Peale...he is well know for help people achieve their self esteem smile!
Click to expand...

Yes, Norman Vincent Peale was ahead of his time! Now quantum physicists are proving scientifically that this is true. The law of attraction...

I believe that whenever you choose to respond to someone with compassion you set off a chain of events that you can't possibly imagine.... sometimes appearances are that it didn't make any difference, but not everything is as it appears...

You made some good karma for yourself :ily:
 
Hi. It's good news that you want to be involved in deaf culture for your deaf child. My mother brought me up in the hearing world. I can lip read but i don't know how to sign. I wish I do. In fact, at the age of 41 I am thinking I need to learn this. Some hearing people look down on the deaf, and treat them like they are stupid. It's not wise to group people together in one category, but maybe from past experience, some deaf people have bad exxperiences with the hearing world. I wish it wasn't so, but I have had to many to count.
 
dawn said:
Hi. It's good news that you want to be involved in deaf culture for your deaf child. My mother brought me up in the hearing world. I can lip read but i don't know how to sign. I wish I do. In fact, at the age of 41 I am thinking I need to learn this. Some hearing people look down on the deaf, and treat them like they are stupid. It's not wise to group people together in one category, but maybe from past experience, some deaf people have bad exxperiences with the hearing world. I wish it wasn't so, but I have had to many to count.
Click to expand...

I understand. I've had to fight for my son with people who really didn't seem to understand or care. But one thing I wanted to say to you is that you should go for it, learn sign language! I was as old as you when I started to learn, and now I'm in my mid 40s and going into the interpreter program. There's several students over 40 and even over 50 in my classes. If you go to a community college that offers an interpreter or deaf ed program, you can take classes there. Many people take classes for many different reasons. I know deaf people who have taken classes as adults. They'll be very accommodating for a deaf student. My first 2 classes were taught by Deaf instructors who, IMO, are the best. Sooooo, I just wanted to encourage you to do it!
 
I'm an interpreter myself

Hi Princess Tabu
I've known sign language(ASL) for 29yrs.
It takes alot of practice but you'll learn it in time.
Thats important that you commuicate with your deaf child.
Go to your local community college and see if they offer sign language classes.
I've got my sign language cerificate.
Good luck to you!!
Hang in there!!!
If you need any help please feel free to contact us.
Margie
Dir. of Commuication Services
OCDAC
www.deafadvocay.com
Our website
 
Margie said:
Hi Princess Tabu
I've known sign language(ASL) for 29yrs.
It takes alot of practice but you'll learn it in time.
Thats important that you commuicate with your deaf child.
Go to your local community college and see if they offer sign language classes.
I've got my sign language cerificate.
Good luck to you!!
Hang in there!!!
If you need any help please feel free to contact us.
Margie
Dir. of Commuication Services
OCDAC
www.deafadvocay.com
Our website
Click to expand...

Hi Margie,

I think you misunderstood, as I've been taking classes (the slow route) at a local comm. college interpreter program for umm, 4-5 years. I was learning primarily for my son, but now have been accepted into the interpreter program!!!!! I started this post because I was in a bit of a bummer and had delayed signing up for classes because of it. But due to some wonderful people on this list and also talking to some other people, I got myself back to a balanced place, which is where I typically am. Just had a few things that rocked my boat a bit. But thanks for the link, I will check it out. Where are you located?
 
hello!!

i too am hearing. it had always been a dream of mine to become an interpreter. it took years to make that decision, but now am pursuing it. i am one of those "over 40's" that are in the interpreting programs.
i have deaf friends and contacts. many of them i met after enrolling in the program. i would not change anything.
Sure, i've met some negative people (most of them hearing, though). I chose to enter this program because i truly want to learn the Deaf culture and everything about it. Through my travels of learning the art of interpreting, i have had ups and downs, but one thing i learned is this: not all Deaf who are negative towards you are doing so because they reject hearing people. I found that those who criticize at times, are doing so because they see hope in you. They do so because they are accepting you into their world. Be receptive to them and do what you can to improve....after all this is their world..their language,..their culture.

GO for it......if it is really in your heart. You'll never be sorry!
I thank the Deaf i know everyday that i am around them.
 
hovenhaven said:
hello!!

i too am hearing. it had always been a dream of mine to become an interpreter. it took years to make that decision, but now am pursuing it. i am one of those "over 40's" that are in the interpreting programs.
i have deaf friends and contacts. many of them i met after enrolling in the program. i would not change anything.
Sure, i've met some negative people (most of them hearing, though). I chose to enter this program because i truly want to learn the Deaf culture and everything about it. Through my travels of learning the art of interpreting, i have had ups and downs, but one thing i learned is this: not all Deaf who are negative towards you are doing so because they reject hearing people. I found that those who criticize at times, are doing so because they see hope in you. They do so because they are accepting you into their world. Be receptive to them and do what you can to improve....after all this is their world..their language,..their culture.

GO for it......if it is really in your heart. You'll never be sorry!
I thank the Deaf i know everyday that i am around them.
Click to expand...
 
I too am hearing. I have a Deaf son and have associated with the Deaf community for almost 20 years now. I have been very fortunate to have had good experiences: the majority of my bad experiences have been in dealing with the hearing community on behalf of my son! But hang in there, and don't let one bad experience overshadow the good ones you have had.
 
Back
Top