help. have huge crush on deaf person

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lovesick66

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Hi,
I'm new to the forum. I'm hearing.
I attend a school with a deaf and hard of hearing department and I really like a deaf or hard of hearing guy in the department (seriously, it's been more than a year). Do any of you guys have any advice on how to communicate with this person when i have no idea what his level of hearing is.

Thank you so much.
 
lovesick66 said:
Hi,
I'm new to the forum. I'm hearing.
I attend a school with a deaf and hard of hearing department and I really like a deaf or hard of hearing guy in the department (seriously, it's been more than a year). Do any of you guys have any advice on how to communicate with this person when i have no idea what his level of hearing is.

Thank you so much.
Click to expand...
Well well that's sweet you have the hots for a deaf/hoh guy at your school, I was just wondering how it came to that way when you haven't communicated with him yet in the past year and so?

My suggestion to open up a friendship with him is to send him a note of greeting and maybe ask to hang out together at lunch or whatever. I think small moves is the key, don't scare him off by leading him on immediately. Also don't hold high expectations from the relationship or him. Just enjoy getting to know him, etc. "Listen" to him, and treat him as you would like to be treated (with limits of course). Make sense? And then perhaps you will end up with a guy on your arms, or just as good, a friendship. Good luck.
 
how old re you ?

in middle schools....forget it!

in my h.s. many hearings wanted go out with me...how they did end up dated with me...they gave me a note...i wrote back and forth..we end up went out for lunch or blah...i knew she wanted date me...bec she seem more interesting into me...so try make him notice you more interesting into him. or whatever...i guess my old fashion shit...i dunno your new fashion..ha. now im 23 yrs old...*sigh* later
 
it's funny how people are afraid to go up to a deaf guy or gal..

Anyway, suggust you to take notes with him.. stuff.. learn ASL.. just take it easy so u won't give him a pressure :)
 
-i'm in high school, (hopefully out of high school soon).

-its really hard to approoach the deaf/hoh for a number of reasons, first there is a separation, or kind of isolation between the department and the rest of the school. The group is very removed socially. Becauseof that, the rest of the school does not understand the deaf/hoh community(including me). We don't know their level of hearing, whether its possible to communicate, etc. Thrid, it's hard personally for me to approach him because i've liked him for so long. U know how when u like somebody, u get nervous around them, tonge tied etc. He's not just some stranger on the elevator whom i can make casual conersation with. I'm afraid to make a fool out of myself. My emotion are involved here! :(

-not to sound cliche or anything, but i really do not know how i got to like him. I saw him in the library once and before u know it, i've been obssessed with him for a year.

it's really driving me crazy and i just want to know if it's possible. SO if it's not, i can stop being naive and stupid and move on with my life...


_lovesick :confused:
 
Well lets say 6 months from now you see him dating one of your classmates. Then you go ask her what she did to get together with him and her answer is "I took the first step and introduced myself".


Are you going to kick yourself in the butt for not doing this first??? If the answer is "yes" then I suggest you get off your butt and just go do it.
 
write a letter and put it in his locker :) that would be a ice breaker
 
Try learning some sign language. Perhaps, signing out "hi" or a few other words might enlighten him.
 
If you wanna go the cheesy way, use a Deaf pick-up line:

"Hi! I heard that Deaf people are very good with their hands. Can you show me why?"
 
lol deaf258!!

1st step: Say HI with a smile! Then ask to exchange email addresses or AIM........ and take off from there. Ask him out to lunch, or dinner.. be prepared with pen and a notepad!

Yeah, learn a few signs and tell that crush you have you are learning, but would love to learn a few choice signs with him/her. Ask him what favorite signs he likes to use.... hehee, he may be tired of teaching signs to every learning asl student, so you gotta stand out with some kind of special characteristics that you call your own. Be yourself.
 
Deaf258 said:
If you wanna go the cheesy way, use a Deaf pick-up line:

"Hi! I heard that Deaf people are very good with their hands. Can you show me why?"
Click to expand...
:laugh2: Good one! :thumb:
 
Or you can say this to an oral hard of hearing guy:

"I heard hard of hearing guys who can speak are really good with their lips! Can I try out yours?"
 
Deaf258 said:
Or you can say this to an oral hard of hearing guy:

"I heard hard of hearing guys who can speak are really good with their lips! Can I try out yours?"
Click to expand...

:rofl: hahahah Deaf258 hahahah
 
Maybe this will help you. I had a crush on this guy in my 1st year in college. He was Hoh, and could read lips very well. I was quiet and allways shy around him... I waited 5 months to talk to him... And when I did, he allready had a girlfriend.
I asked him how long have they been dating... and he said 1 month.

I was so pissed at my self!!!!!
but the funny thing is about 1 year after that, I bumped into him and I got a hug and a kiss on the cheek. (I snuck a feel) but was shocked when I saw the same girl he was dating back then... was there in the car waiting for him......

Girl Jump on that!!! If you really like him
 
girlygti said:
Maybe this will help you. I had a crush on this guy in my 1st year in college. He was Hoh, and could read lips very well. I was quiet and allways shy around him... I waited 5 months to talk to him... And when I did, he allready had a girlfriend.
I asked him how long have they been dating... and he said 1 month.

I was so pissed at my self!!!!!
but the funny thing is about 1 year after that, I bumped into him and I got a hug and a kiss on the cheek. (I snuck a feel) but was shocked when I saw the same girl he was dating back then... was there in the car waiting for him......

Girl Jump on that!!! If you really like him
Click to expand...

yeah...really good point. I would shoot myself if that happened. I guess part of the problem is overcoming my shyness. I mean, i got nothing to loose right? I just need the right opportunity...it's really hard to find time when he and i are both alone . It's hard since he's in the deaf department, we don't have any classes together. I basically see him in the cafetaria and sometimes, if i'm lucky, on the bus and subway.

I guess i just want to ask the deaf guys out there, generally, is there interest in a hearing girl? or does people think there's too much of a social gap...

thanx_lovesick
 
lovesick!!! You will never know until you try!! :cheers:

suck it in, and walk up to that guy................................. be he deaf, green, dotted with antennas and all.

Dont let somebody's idea of social gap be an excuse to not go after your heart's desires.
 
Thats remind me what it has been happen to me way back in High school like about when i was in 10th grades it should be 17 years ago wow ... anyway... one day i was date with deaf gal in the hallway ... somehow , one hearing gal who doesn't know sign languages and she seem very aggrestive to get my attention somehow i approach her everytime i get out of the class .. I said jeez WTF is that gal doing here everywhere i goes ... so she finally have a guts to trying to commuicate with me .. so i took paper and pen out and give it to her ... she ask me out for date after school so i said sure why not but one or two problem .. she said wwhat ??? first one is how will i get home cuz i live an hour up north from this school... She was :jaw: and say WHY WHY TOO fAR ???? i said yea just cuz of that stupid deaf programs but there is nothing i can do about it .. so She said sure she will take me home ..(oh yes hearing gal stolen me away from that deaf gal otherwise good thing she did !!! ) We did end up dating for a year and half even she took asl class and i taught her ... know what ??? she just end up into interipter !! hey lovesick .... just try ur best to approach him with paper and pen ready and ask him out for date after school and see what his respond to it .. whenever he say when he is free ... if he say no. then u should offer the friendship with him ... maybe sometime later can be surprise from friendship become into relationship who know ??? just keep ur chin up and just give it a shoot
 
First off, definitely start out saying hi with a smile in the hallway. Or you could learn how to fingerspell it, whichever you prefer. If he smiles back or responds favorably, try to strike up a conversation. If he isn't at all oral, just hand him a previously written note (plan b). I know its difficult to make the first move, but you really haven't got anything to lose. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!
 
Asl

If you really wanna show him your feeling him... learn basic ASL. It will show him your really interested. So go to your public library and borrow the American Sign Lang. video cassette of the "Bravo" family and you'll learn converstaional signs and i'm sure if he's a good person, Since you've showed effort he'll help you.... it's great to know your willing to overlook your differences and there's no time to waste.
 
:rofl: Deaf258!! you crack me up!

I agree with everyone.... the key to win the guy's heart or ANYONE (for any situation) it's always the best gesture... learn the basic ASL and impress the person you are interested in them. I know when 2 guys that were interested in me they bought the sign book and taught themselves how to sign the basic and even learned hard signs just to impress me. It was cool. ha :lol:
Unfortunately, the hearing guys here at college are waaaaaaaaay too shy to ask me out... heck I hadn't had a real date in a long time. :thumbd: Guys need to be more assertive... geez do I have to do everything???? :thumbd: lol

Good luck!
 
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