Hello, new here and need your advice

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Katyia

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Hello all,

My name is Katyia. I came to this forum because over the course of the last 22 years my husband has begun having hearing issues. He has worn hearing aids for a while now, probably 5 years or more, and his hearing seems to be deteriorating as the years progress.

My husband has been very supportive during the various illnesses that left me disfigured and he will tell you I have been just as supportive to him as well.

So why am I here? honestly?

I feel I need an attitude adjustment!. I find myself frustrated with him even though it is not his fault. Because he can hear certain things and not others I tend to wonder if he is really hearing me or ignoring me at certain times.

I think the biggest frustration is having to say things 3, 4 and 5 times before he hears me. By the 5th time i'm mad. I know its horrible for him and he feel so disconnected some days. He worries about the future and his job and I worry about his happiness.

I live with a disfigurements and a disability so I know that any problem we have, we can face together, and find another way to come out the other side.

I don't believe in obstacles, just hills we have to climb.

I am a really compassionate person but I need to be more patient with him.

I need to know what it feels like to be him and I was hoping I could come here, meet you guys and you could share with me your stories and your pain and show me how I can help him and how I can be a better wife to him.

If you had one thing to say to me to help him what would it be? But don't stop there please...I really want to be more supportive and then maybe he will feel less alone in all this.

Thank you

Katyia
 
Hello and welcome to AD.

I would encourage you to read few threads on here. There is a lot of threads where people have talked about how they feel and etc. I'm sure many others here would point you to few threads on here. One that comes to mind is "pet peeves" I am not sure of title but that should give you a search name you can use to find what you are looking for.

As for advice, you already are doing it. Just be patience and try not to get frustrated. Most likely if you are feeling frustrated, he is too.

You didn't say but if you and your husband haven't learned ASL, I would sugguest you do so to help with communication when speaking isn't working for some reason. For example, when you two are in a noisy room that would make it difficult for him to pick out what you are saying so you can switch to sign language and he would be able to see what you are trying to say instead of both of you getting frustrated.

Good luck and I wish you and your husband well!
 
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welcome, Katyia,

my husband has/is moderate-severe bilateral hoh and has limited vision in one eye; birth mom had German measles. He got bte HA's after college although he had them sporadically as child. He was raised in hearing, I am hearing but at one time knew more ASL than I now do <am re-learning with help of friend Deaf>. I taught him the "I love you" and while that is the only sign he knows, we do homes signs, well, at home which helps a lot. He is extremely oral and not comfortable with ASL but at home he will try some non-verbal communication from time to time. I have LD and a speech impairment so he helps me out too. I also recently noticed I am having trouble hearing some speech here and there and audio. came back technically overall okay but with a few losses here and there. I guess my one thing would be - Don't Give Up - find strengths in each others abilities and challenges!

HUGS
 
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