hello, I just joined and looking for support

Another story from "Ma" of the Golden Girls (but hers were better)

meowcat said:
Wirelessly posted

Hello, im a 19 year old hard of hearing girl in England. I'm quite a peculiar case as I never used to be hard of hearing until one day two years ago I woke up not being able to hear on my right side. I was rushed to hospital to be told it was a migraine yeah right! After about a month it still had not returned and I was struggling so I went to my doctor. Who told me it was wax so I had my ears syringed four times with no improvement he sent me too an ent who stuck a running fork to my forehead and immediately told me . Had sensorineural hearing loss and sent me for scans and a hearing test my test showed I had a -50db in my right ear and surprisingly -20 in my left they fitted a hearing aid in my right but not my left as it was not so bad 3 month's later I found out I had a heart condition and needed a pacemaker 2 weeks before it was fitted I woke up to not being able to hear in my left ear I went back to have my hearing tested and my right was the same but my left was at -60db so now I have two hearing aids they think it was my heart stopping that caused it but they are not sure and I have to go for regular tests as they are unsure if I wI'll completely lose my hearing at the moment I am struggling to come to terms with this and get angry looks when I ask people to repeat themselves as I can't hear them I'm learning to lip read but I'm really bad at it and have unintentionally upset people by misunderstanding what they have said I'm afraid to tell people I am hard of hearing as I am afraid they will not speak to me has anyone else been through this? Many thanks
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Oy vey. Send your family to me. I'm old enough to bring them out of their depths of blaming and ignorance. I have enough stories to sort of swat them into understanding if they are ready for it. I'm quite serious.

I usually leave a short story with my remarks. So, here is yours. I am 59. At the age of 19, I was having fun going to college and remember it a bit all too well. About three years ago, I answered the phone. My partner is called Cari (her nickname) and my name is Sheri . I was in a hurry to get out of here. I thought the person asked to speak to me. Wrong. I quickly said I don't have time to talk and would call her later (thinking erroneously I knew who it was). Well, it was my partner's friend who was dealing with serious repercussions from breast cancer. Somehow Cari knew I goofed and immediately called back her friend who thought Cari had blown her off (you know - dismissed her) and was in tears.

I cannot answer the phone unless I know who is calling.

I have a lifetime of examples. I have a lifetime of misinterpretations. I get impatient with myself. Those who perhaps only worked with me did not understand how to really deal with me. People who know me actually have a much higher level of patience. As you and your family learn about this, they will grow out of their ignorance. Look at my example. It took one sound (a Ka versus a Sh sound) to create a problem.

One last example. Cari and I were in Rhode Island. We were meeting friends. She said either in Wellsley or Wellsfleet. I could not for the life of me figure it out and we weren't signing then.

I wish you the best of luck.

1. Learn patience that was difficult for me - and we were still working on punch cards in those days and the internet did not exist. This is to YOUR advantage.
2. Teach people by giving them examples of what you heard (and you know it was not what they said). Much may be funny. While the reality is not funny, if you don't find laughter life (I think) may be more difficult.
3. Grow into knowledge and intelligence from ignorance. It's the only way you and your friends and your family will learn to live with what is happening with you. This is all a process, though.

Good for you for going to therapy. In time, there will be options for you if your hearing worsens. While I lived in a land of hearing loss my life, it was acute renal failure that plunged my moderate to severe loss into a severe to profound loss. So, if I may be so bold (you know how Americans are...), I can sort of relate EXCEPT that you are so young.

Best wishes,
-- Sheri
 
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