Hearing pretending to be deaf to avoid conversation?

[shel90]

Exxxxxxxxxxxxxxxactly.

Just man up and tell them you don't want to converse... period. Don't twinkle toe around it and pretend to be Deaf... the thought that someone does that just ignites a fire in me that burns me up more than I can describe.... I seriously think I would probably ... I don't know.... but good lord it just ... whew, I can't possibly explain anger good lord!

Just because you can communicate in ASL does not give you any sort of right to do that...

They didn't earn the medal from so much suffering and sacrifices to pretend that they are deaf. No No NO NO!

 

[Mewtilation]

 

[Grummer]

Exxxxxxxxxxxxxxxactly.

Just man up and tell them you don't want to converse... period. Don't twinkle toe around it and pretend to be Deaf... the thought that someone does that just ignites a fire in me that burns me up more than I can describe.... I seriously think I would probably ... I don't know.... but good lord it just ... whew, I can't possibly explain anger good lord!

Just because you can communicate in ASL does not give you any sort of right to do that...

are you religious??! *good lord*...seems a roll of the tongue

 

[liuliu]

Not all Deaf people behave like that... By saying all or even a decent amount of Deaf people behave like that when you yourself aren't Deaf, you're applying a stereotype to us as a group... like everyone else does all the time.... Thanks for that. If you think for one second all or even MOST Deaf people intentionally ignore people you just increased my desire to backhand more people to pretend to do this even harder. Did it ever occur that we don't notice people talking to us... because... oh I don't know... WE CAN'T HEAR THEM!? Not all Deaf people can lipread that well ( just because I can, doesn't mean all can ) not all Deaf people can speak clearly so they may be voice off because that's their decision and not all Deaf people want to interact with the hearing population in general because of how they're treated. There are many reasons for the Deaf to not respond... not just the fact they're "ignoring" someone or don't want to talk... Jesus... to insinuate that's what most or even a decent amount do is absolutely terrible. I can't tell you how many times I've been in walmart without my C.I. and been looking around at things ( distracted ) and had the cashier trying to get my attention or something. I wasn't ignoring her! I simply did not notice they were attempting to catch my attention.

I never said that all deaf do this just like I never said all sign language students do this. (English is not my first languge, so didn't realize that deaf= all/most deaf, lesson learned.)

Also in the example I gave about my deaf co-worker I tried to make clear that it wasn't that he didn't notice the person speaking to him. He said that he could have communicated with the other peson, but didn't want to and instead of letting the other person know that, he let them think that there wasn't a way to communicate. He said to me that he could have read lips or used pen and paper, but just didn't feel like it. And by doing this he may have given the other person the impression that you can't communicate with a deaf person. Of course it's not every deaf person's job all day every day to educate hearing people about communicating with a deaf person. I just wondered what his or other deaf people's opinion is on the matter (oc I could ask him, but our relationship isn't on that level yet).

Like I said I am an interpreter, so stuff like lip reading, deaf rights, deaf culture and language and sense barriers are not news to me. And I am capable of thinking about the different ethical aspects of this questions on my own. I tiried to educate myself on deaf people's thoughts on the subject on more deeper level than "I wanna slap you, I wanna slap you, you know we can't hear, right?" But I guess I should have made that more clear on my first post. "Is it wrong" doesn't necessarily spike a deep conversation. And thanks, there have been interesting points on the matter.

 

[Bottesini]

Why deaf? Why did you not pretend to be mentally challenged or schizophrenic ?


Not as cool as deaf?

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Not all Deaf people behave like that... By saying all or even a decent amount of Deaf people behave like that when you yourself aren't Deaf, you're applying a stereotype to us as a group... like everyone else does all the time.... Thanks for that. If you think for one second all or even MOST Deaf people intentionally ignore people you just increased my desire to backhand more people to pretend to do this even harder. Did it ever occur that we don't notice people talking to us... because... oh I don't know... WE CAN'T HEAR THEM!? Not all Deaf people can lipread that well ( just because I can, doesn't mean all can ) not all Deaf people can speak clearly so they may be voice off because that's their decision and not all Deaf people want to interact with the hearing population in general because of how they're treated. There are many reasons for the Deaf to not respond... not just the fact they're "ignoring" someone or don't want to talk... Jesus... to insinuate that's what most or even a decent amount do is absolutely terrible. I can't tell you how many times I've been in walmart without my C.I. and been looking around at things ( distracted ) and had the cashier trying to get my attention or something. I wasn't ignoring her! I simply did not notice they were attempting to catch my attention.

I had people get pissed of at me b/c I did hear them trying to pass me in a grocery store so the jerks would ram their shopping cart right into me . After a woman that weight 200 lb did this me I got a hearing dog . I was going to take my shopping cart and return the favor to the woman b/c she thought is was funny. She was lucky the manger came over.

 

[90sWizKid]

hahahaha it makes me think of Elaine on Seinfeld with the cabbie...still cracks me up...in my opinion, if someone has the audacity to fake being deaf, than maybe we're all better off not knowing what they have to say in a conversation...

 

[purplewowies]

Why deaf? Why did you not pretend to be mentally challenged or schizophrenic ?


Not as cool as deaf?

Meh, those have their issues, too, though (there are definitely people with intellectual disabilities as well as schizophrenic people who would slap you sideways for that like most people are doing here).

I can understand a desire to not want to communicate with creepers/drunks that was mentioned in the first post, and feigning deafness is an "easy" way for a hearing person to acknowledge the person while still basically brushing them off (as opposed to ignoring them, if you for any reason feel uncomfortable both talking to them and ignoring them), but that doesn't change the fact that it's still pretty low to do that sort of thing.

...Hrm... I wonder if it'd be considered rude to start speaking in, say, Japanese (provided you weren't faking that ethnicity or something) to blow someone off.

 

[shel90]

Why deaf? Why did you not pretend to be mentally challenged or schizophrenic ?


Not as cool as deaf?

Hey, I am happy that it is a cool thing to be deaf. Makes people like us!

 

[Saavik]

What about HoH using the deaf sign on occasion?

 

[90sWizKid]

What about HoH using the deaf sign on occasion?

That wouldn't bother me much, I figure it is probably easier to say that you're deaf in passing with a stranger than explaining that you're HoH and people questioning about how HoH you are...

I'm HoH and but I'll refer to myself as "deaf" sometimes but never "Deaf", bc I'm not a part of the community...I'm not fluent in ASL but I know enough to get by (I actually use it daily with my students who are autistic and nonverbal)

 

[Bebonang]

I don't approve of hearing person pretending to be deaf or "Deaf" just to avoid conversing conversation with undesirable characters. Your friend who can read lips but does not want to converse is that sometimes he or she could not lipread for a reason. The person might have small mouth that don't move their lips well or a man who has beard almost completely cover his face. Also lipreading is not accurate with only about 30% of guess work and trying to understand what the hearing person was saying. He or she had a reason why he or she could not lipread that well.

That is why we need accommodations for us to deal with the hearing world. We can use papers and pen with the hearing person for communication, even in public. We need you as an interpreter to help us understand hearing people whether we are deaf or hard of hearing. For the Hard Of Hearing (HOH), they can rely on papers and pen or use smart phone or IPad to communicate with the hearing. For me, I don't have smart phone or IPad to communicate only with papers and pen. You think all deaf and hard of hearing with lipreading skills can be able to understand hearing people. That is not true at all. This is a very difficult task for the deaf or hard of hearing to lipread struggling hard to make out what the person was saying.

 

[Understanding life]

Hearing pretending to be deaf to initiate conversation?

What about going out to a bar and pretending to be deaf to initiate conversation? I've been learning ASL and have always been fascinated by everything deaf, from the deaf community to the beauty of the language. People are typically drawn to others that are unique. For example, at drunken college parties, everyone seemed attracted to the students studying abroad from other countries. It was not uncommon to ask an Australian student to give his or her impression of an American, which was always found to be extremely humorous. So while some people may pretend to be foreigners to gain attention, would it be disrespectful to pretend to be deaf for a night? For a hearing person to take on the challenge of tuning out the audio and communicating non-verbally? Sure it would serve as entertainment, but wouldn't it also open people's minds to the deaf world? Those people that have never interacted with a deaf or HoH individual...wouldn't it encourage acceptance and understanding?

 

[Bottesini]

What about going out to a bar and pretending to be deaf to initiate conversation? I've been learning ASL and have always been fascinated by everything deaf, from the deaf community to the beauty of the language. People are typically drawn to others that are unique. For example, at drunken college parties, everyone seemed attracted to the students studying abroad from other countries. It was not uncommon to ask an Australian student to give his or her impression of an American, which was always found to be extremely humorous. So while some people may pretend to be foreigners to gain attention, would it be disrespectful to pretend to be deaf for a night? For a hearing person to take on the challenge of tuning out the audio and communicating non-verbally? Sure it would serve as entertainment, but wouldn't it also open people's minds to the deaf world? Those people that have never interacted with a deaf or HoH individual...wouldn't it encourage acceptance and understanding?

No it would not.

 

[sphenix]

What about going out to a bar and pretending to be deaf to initiate conversation? I've been learning ASL and have always been fascinated by everything deaf, from the deaf community to the beauty of the language. People are typically drawn to others that are unique. For example, at drunken college parties, everyone seemed attracted to the students studying abroad from other countries. It was not uncommon to ask an Australian student to give his or her impression of an American, which was always found to be extremely humorous. So while some people may pretend to be foreigners to gain attention, would it be disrespectful to pretend to be deaf for a night? For a hearing person to take on the challenge of tuning out the audio and communicating non-verbally? Sure it would serve as entertainment, but wouldn't it also open people's minds to the deaf world? Those people that have never interacted with a deaf or HoH individual...wouldn't it encourage acceptance and understanding?

No. I do not approve of hearing individuals who pretend to be deaf, whether it is to (1) avoid or (2) engage in conversations.

For situation #1 you can just say, "I don't want to talk with you. Please leave me alone," or something along that line. If the person is decent, s/he will respect that and let you just carry on with your business.

For situation #2 it is just plain wrong. There are cultural norms and behavioral tendencies that distinguish Deaf and deaf--yes even deaf--persons from hearing persons. When you pretend to be D/deaf and engage in conversations with hearing individuals for one night it is not only offensive to the D/deaf community but also it means you could be passing on false information/impressions about the D/HH community.

As much as I do interact with D/deaf persons and have proficiency in ASL, I will never call myself Deaf. Calling myself Deaf means claiming that I've had a thorough and deep immersion in the Deaf culture, that I've attended a Deaf school, and/or that I've had a Deaf family. I grew up in the hearing world and only discovered the Deaf culture six years ago, was fully mainstreamed in hearing schools, and come from an all-hearing family. Why pretend to be someone you are not?

If you want to do an exercise where all sounds are tuned out and you are forced to rely on non-verbal communication, I suggest you look for workshops or events that provide such an opportunity. For example we do have one in the Sacramento area known as "ASL Immersion Retreat." Similar events are also called "ASL Silent Weekend." Not only do those events open up the D/deaf world to hearing persons, it also avoids exactly the kind of situation you refer to (i.e., the bar) where misinformation about the D/HH community can be circulated.

 

[sphenix]

Interesting feedback you got.
I sometimes do it as well. Pretend I can't read lips. But I think that is something very common. My Asian friend does this as well, only she pretends to not speaking German. Or a friend from Italy, he tells people he is a tourist in bad English and that's it.
The more I think about that, the more people I know who do that from time to time. Oh and my husband once avoided a conversation with another Deaf couple pretending not knowing sign.
Personally I think it is absolutely fine to avoid contact from time to time.

Sent from my iPhone using AllDeaf

You think it's "absolutely fine" to do it, but I disagree. I can't speak well but if someone approached me and attempted to talk with me, I would either type on my smartphone "I don't want to talk with you" or make simple body gestures (i.e., shaking my head, do the 'shoo away' hand movement).

If I wasn't in the mood to lip-read, I'd just grab my smartphone and type out a note requesting the person to type down what s/he was saying. If it was a D/deaf person approaching me, I'd just sign, "I'm not in the mood to talk, sorry. Thank you." Something like that.

It isn't that hard. The problem I'm seeing is that some people just don't have the balls to be straightforward.

 

[Brennen]

What is deaf people's opinion about hearing people sometimes pretending to be deaf. I want to clarify that I don't mean deaf wannabes or hearing people who are with a deaf person and do this to be polite or something like that. I mean e.g. sign language students who do this once in a while to avoid talking to someone they don't want to talk to. I know that lots of sing language interpreter students from my university have done this sometimes. So what do you think or what does Deaf community in general think (of course there are always different opinions)?

As an explanation to this behavior:
I am a sign language interpreter myself and have also done this couple of times, although not after I graduated. I have done this mostly on a public transport when a drunk usually old man has come to talk to me about something obviously not important. I have signed something like "What?" or "I can't hear". The reason is that I have been tired and haven't felt like talking to anyone, especially to someone that couldn't even form sentence.

Once it was drunk teenagers, but they still tried to communicate with me. I thought it was great and couldn't pretend I was deaf anymore and let them know I was actually hearing. Sometimes my classmates have done this to avoid people hitting on them at bars. Some occasions have also been to learn something about being deaf (e.g. would that random guy still try to hit on me if he thought I was deaf or how would we communicate etc.). But mostly the reason has just been to avoid awkward conversation with random people.

I also know that some deaf people that know how to read lips, also do this. They don't want to have conversation, so they pretend that they don't understand, even though they could read lips.

So what do you think? Is it wrong and is it different whether you are actually deaf or not? Also why? I have been wondering about this for a while and I haven't found answer here or elsewhere online so hopefully this topic hasn't been totally worn out.

As a hearing person I'm not entirely too sure why you would say that when you could just sign something else rather than specifying that you are deaf and you can't hear. For example I would say that I don't want to speak and be done with it, but not specify that I can not hear. I feel like that's dishonest, and unethical, possibly unfair to Deaf people as well and some who wouldn't appreciate a hearing person taking on the deaf label when you are in fact not deaf. As for my personal stance I don't support that, just to be clear.

 

[zephren]

I think there is a difference between just ignoring the person and actually indicating you are deaf.

Growing up I was taught don't look at the drunks or crazies on the subway or it is an invitation for conversation. I was not saying I was deaf just not looking at them at all. They get the message I don't want to engage in conversation. To some even saying you don't want to talk to them is opening the door for more dialog - not acknowledging their attempt to converse seems to work well without faking being deaf...

...of course I am deaf but that is beside the point.

 

[Cappy]

I dont care if a hearing person wants to avoid convo, pretending to be dhh. Everyone hearing or dhh has their moments when they want to be left alone. On the otherhand, I will shoot flames out of my eyes and ears if, a hearing person "mimics" a dhh persons speech impediment. Just my .02 cents.

 

[sonocativo]

Who's beating dead horses around here? lmao