Hearing mom

H

hearingheart

New Member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2
Reaction score
0
Hey,
I am joining your site to get answers. I am scared I may make the biggest mistake of my child's life. Anna is 3 and was born with profound bilateral hearing loss and had severe otitis media (causing blood and pus to drain from her ears). I would like to know if anyone had this sort of history, I have researched and found this is not related to her hearing loss due to Connexin 26. Anyway, She is now 3 1/2 and the most loving and inspirational child I have ever met. My favorite thing about her is her vision. She captures beauty in all she does. It is amazing and she can pick out things I would never have looked at. Though she has such great vision it never effects the way she views ppl. You can be the biggest, baddest biker dude on the planet and she will run to you with a big smile and an open heart. Honestly. At daycare, Anna hugs everyone who crosses her path, everyday. There is a guy who is thuggish looking and rather stout..he stopped me one day and said "Is this your daughter." I looked at him and said "yes". He said "She runs to me and hugs me every morning. She is so precious." I smiled and Anna waved bye to him. He had tears in his eyes because I think he was touched she wasnt afraid of him and looked at him the same as family. I love this about her. Many ppl are touched by her. I do not want to change her no matter what others think. Some think she needs to hear. I don't. But, She talks to me alot. I know what she is saying. I see it. But, others can't understand her "babbles". She is so frustrated and wants them to understand her. She looks at me like, dont they get it? I dont think she knows we hear and she doesnt. Due to this frustration, I have been considering the cochlear implants. I am scared though and I am worried she may think in the future that I wanted to change her or she might actually change her personality. I dont want this to happen but I think she will also benefit from the implants. Her father doesn't play much role in her life as we are separated so his advice is blah. I need some advice from someone who knows what it's like to be Anna (frustrated and special)
Confused Mommy.
 
#23

Before jumping on the CI.. Take some time with the rest of us here. Some may give you suggestions why or why not you would want a CI.

Most of all, make sure your decision is one that you think she will like when she is older.

If she doesn't like the CI at 5 years old.. imagine her at 20.

So, just saying.. be careful and don't make a mistake. Ask for more help here in the Deaf culture section.
 
If you are comfortable the way she is, Start American Sign Language. No matter what, she will be well adjusted as long as you do your research and never stop learning. And yes, she can have a happy life without Cochlear implant. She can have a happy life with it.

http://www.clercschildren.com/
 
btw, the reason I suggest American Sign Language because it is a visual language and you already seem to admire that character about her... But you do have help her learn to read and write no matter what path you take. There are speech therapy who can help her learn to speak with or without cochlear implant.
 
I am also the hearing parent of a deaf child. My daughter has one cochlear implant and will be getting another in July. I also highly recommend ASL. Your baby needs language. How is she able to communicate right now? Does she have any language? Does she go to school yet? I think that the CI has opened an amazing door for my daughter, but ASL really saved her and made her the brillant child she is today :D

Why are you considering a CI?
Why are you thinking it is a bad idea?
What do you hope she gets from it (realistically)?
If she doesn't, are you ok with that?
Will regret it if you don't do it?
Will you regret it if you do and she doesn't use it as an adult?
Are you doing it for her or for you or for someone else?
 
Is she learning ASL? If not, pls contact your local deaf resources/services about taking ASL classes and enrolling her in an ASL program. She needs to be exposed to language asap. However, with Cochlear Implaints..I agree with A..she can have a happy life without them or with them.

FairJour asked some good questions so I think they should help.

I am Deaf and dont wear CIs. I use both ASL and spoken English to communicate.

Welcome to AD!
 
Hello hearingheart - I am not sure what you communication choice is at home. Have you explored the choice of the system Cued Speech for use with spoken English?
 
Why do I get the feeling that now I retrace my steps back, there's a convention going on in here. :lol:
 
Hi hearingheart

I also have a 3 year old (3 and half next month!) who is profoundly deaf. Katie is aided but receives little benefit from her hearing aids - not enough to properly process spoken language. We've decided to forgo speech therapy until she's older and push her ASL support.

You don't say in your post, but has Anna received any services up to this point? Ideally she would be transitioned into the public school district when she turned 3 after 'graduating' from early intervention. Does she have hearing aids? how have you two been communicating up until now?

As for your worries about implantation, take it slow for now. Push her (and yourself) to the limit with ASL. Give your state school for the deaf a call and ask about local resources and information that can help you. There may be parent groups or play groups in your area, as well a free/low cost basic sign classes, if you need.
 
I second contacting your state's School for the Deaf. They can offer you some amazing resources...and the Early Intervention/early Childhood resources at Deaf Schools/programs tend to be AWESOME!
B
ut, She talks to me alot. I know what she is saying. I see it. But, others can't understand her "babbles". She is so frustrated and wants them to understand her. She looks at me like, dont they get it? I dont think she knows we hear and she doesnt. Due to this frustration, I have been considering the cochlear implants. I am scared though and I am worried she may think in the future that I wanted to change her or she might actually change her personality.
Click to expand...
You could always think about it this way....she has maxed out her hearing aids, and needs something more powerful. A CI when you get down to the nitty gritty is basicly a more powerful aid to hearing. (not a hearing aid....but it will help her hear better)
CIs aren't incompatible with Deaf culture at ALL. We have a ton of posters who are implanted and who are VERY proudly Deaf.
 
G'day and welcome to AD,
Hope you'll find this forum informative.
Would your daughter be able to get CI if she has otitis media? Just curious.
Anyway, best of luck.

Cheers
 
Hi! I am moderately-severe to severely deaf. I was fitted with simple hearing aids when I was younger. Discarded them when I got older. Was not introduced to sign language when I was younger (then it was not given as an option). Regret that now as an Adult. By my own choice, I am now learning Auslan (Australian Sign Language) and some ASL too. Prefer sign even though I had intensive speech therapy and special classes. Can communicate by speech but find it exhausting. Now learning sign language. Welcome to AD!
 
A said:
If you are comfortable the way she is, Start American Sign Language. No matter what, she will be well adjusted as long as you do your research and never stop learning. And yes, she can have a happy life without Cochlear implant. She can have a happy life with it.

Clerc's Children : Home
Click to expand...

Wow! What an awesome sight.

You are also entitled to join DCMP.org a site I personally love. You can check out media you and your daughter can share together.

faire_jour said:
I am also the hearing parent of a deaf child. My daughter has one cochlear implant and will be getting another in July. I also highly recommend ASL. Your baby needs language. How is she able to communicate right now? Does she have any language? Does she go to school yet? I think that the CI has opened an amazing door for my daughter, but ASL really saved her and made her the brillant child she is today :D

Why are you considering a CI?
Why are you thinking it is a bad idea?
What do you hope she gets from it (realistically)?
If she doesn't, are you ok with that?
Will regret it if you don't do it?
Will you regret it if you do and she doesn't use it as an adult?
Are you doing it for her or for you or for someone else?
Click to expand...

Good questions to ask yourself: Why? Because any decision you make can backfire. So you have to ask yourself "How will I feel and what will I do if I take that road and it doesn't work out?"

The one thing I don't believe any parent can go wrong with is teaching ASL, whether the child is Deaf or hearing. It is one thing the child will always have the rest of their lives that no one can take from them and that they can share with others.

Even if they quit using it at some point.
 
Oh, I forgot to say anything about myself. Most here know everything worth knowing about me.

Before ASL was a recognized language I learned Signs from my best friend whose parents were Deaf. He and I were both hearing.

My youngest daughter has been interpreting for over 20 years in ASL.

No one in my family is D/deaf but almost everyone knows enough ASL to communicate successfully with a Deaf person.

Now perhaps you will have a better idea how to view my comments.
 
hearingheart said:
Hey,
I am joining your site to get answers. I am scared I may make the biggest mistake of my child's life. Anna is 3 and was born with profound bilateral hearing loss and had severe otitis media (causing blood and pus to drain from her ears). I would like to know if anyone had this sort of history, I have researched and found this is not related to her hearing loss due to Connexin 26. Anyway, She is now 3 1/2 and the most loving and inspirational child I have ever met. My favorite thing about her is her vision. She captures beauty in all she does. It is amazing and she can pick out things I would never have looked at. Though she has such great vision it never effects the way she views ppl. You can be the biggest, baddest biker dude on the planet and she will run to you with a big smile and an open heart. Honestly. At daycare, Anna hugs everyone who crosses her path, everyday. There is a guy who is thuggish looking and rather stout..he stopped me one day and said "Is this your daughter." I looked at him and said "yes". He said "She runs to me and hugs me every morning. She is so precious." I smiled and Anna waved bye to him. He had tears in his eyes because I think he was touched she wasnt afraid of him and looked at him the same as family. I love this about her. Many ppl are touched by her. I do not want to change her no matter what others think. Some think she needs to hear. I don't. But, She talks to me alot. I know what she is saying. I see it. But, others can't understand her "babbles". She is so frustrated and wants them to understand her. She looks at me like, dont they get it? I dont think she knows we hear and she doesnt. Due to this frustration, I have been considering the cochlear implants. I am scared though and I am worried she may think in the future that I wanted to change her or she might actually change her personality. I dont want this to happen but I think she will also benefit from the implants. Her father doesn't play much role in her life as we are separated so his advice is blah. I need some advice from someone who knows what it's like to be Anna (frustrated and special)
Confused Mommy.
Click to expand...
Hi and welcome. Nobody has a crystal ball to foresee any outcome either by you or your daughter. If you choose for a CI it may or may not provide any benefit and if it does your daughter may or may not appreciate your decision. Just remember that you make a decision for her either way. Go with your heart and gut feeling as a mother and don't second guess your decision no matter the outcome. As long as you are doing what you feel is in the best interest of your child and you have done your homework. I wish you all the best.
 
Back
Top