Hearing-Impaired, Not a Vegetable!

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KatieBug2014

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So, I'm hearing-impaired and my mother made me get a baha implant (hearing aid) when I was 8 years old. I didn't want it at all, but I guess she felt she was doing what was best for me. I'm 17 now and we are constantly arguing because I can't keep up with it and don't wear it while driving. She says I'm putting everyone around me in danger when I don't wear it while driving. I believe as long as you pay extra attention to your surroundings and use your mirrors often, there won't be a problem. i've seen that people who are deaf have better driving records than hearing people. I don't like to wear my baha because if I turn a certain way, it squeaks and it really hurts me ears. Not to mention, if I'm in a crowded situation, everything is uncomfortably loud, and I like that without my baha, I don't have to hear all the background noise. My mom also keeps saying that I can't possibly go to college and live in a dorm without wearing my baha (there could be a fire and I wouldn't know if I was asleep), and that I can never hold any kind of job without it because I'll mess things up by not hearing something important. She makes me feel like I can't do anything because of my hearing (or lack of it). She makes me feel helpless. It's not even that I don't wear the baha because of my not liking it, it's just that most of the time I honestly forget to put it on, and it's so tiny that it's constantly getting lost. If I could remember it or keep up with it, I would gladly wear it just to keep her from nagging at me. Should I HAVE to wear a baha? AM I putting people in danger by driving without it? Will it cause problems in future jobs? Opinions please.
 
The phrase "Hearing Impaired" though a choice, is not an acceptable word. It is demeaning. Most people are hearing, hard of hearing or deaf. (Deaf)

Still, if that is your choice, so be it. Now -

If you have a very good driving record you should not need your device. I have driven without any hearing aids or such for a very long time.
 
Sorry if I offended you with the term hearing impaired. I have been in the hearing world my whole life so I'm not really educated on deaf culture.
 
I am not offended. Just telling you since you had only one post. Figured you did not know.

So do you have any deaf people in your area? Maybe you should get to know us. We are awesome, capable people. We drive, we marry, we run businesses and even travel the globe with no hearing aids or such if we choose not to wear them.
 
I live in a very small town, so I unfortunatley haven't met any deaf people. I took a sign language class at the blind and deaf school near where I live, but ironically no one in it was deaf.
 
Unfortunately you are in a similar situation as many of us hearing-impaired...oops, I mean deaf, people.....surrounded by ignorant hearing people.

If the Baha implant hurts your ears, that in itself is a safety issue, and you should not wear it.

As for your mother...hmmm...unfortunately you live with others in a small-town mentality....she has no choice but to listen to other people telling her horror stories from others about what will happen if you can't hear....which is very common among hearing people. She is doing what most mothers do...worries about you....but too much.

The only way she can accept the fact that you can lead a normal life as a deaf person is to expose her to more and more deaf people doing normal everyday things. My parents thought I had limitations until they were exposed to my circle of deaf friends, and other hearing people telling them that "He can do it".

Sign up to go to a college that has many deaf people, and expose your family to the deaf world, and they will eventually see that deaf people are capable of many things.
 
Nanna said:
The phrase "Hearing Impaired" though a choice, is not an acceptable word. It is demeaning. Most people are hearing, hard of hearing or deaf. (Deaf)

Still, if that is your choice, so be it. Now -

If you have a very good driving record you should not need your device. I have driven without any hearing aids or such for a very long time.
Click to expand...

Or you kidding me with that line?? It's a medical term to define hearing loss, not a life choice. I'm hearing impaired and that word acturately describes my deafness having lost my hearing to Rubella. I didn't "decide" to stop listening to world. If you call me hard of hearing, that's essentially saying the same thing. I'm learning disabled too so should I take that as personal insult or start correcting my doctor and saying I have an intellectual disability? What should I call my boss is he's an a$$$$$? Socially challenged?

@ the original poster of the thread, I don't know what your level of loss is but if things are uncomfortably loud, you need to make an appointment to have them adjusted. You don't give too much about yourself other than you're angry at your mother. When you're driving, do you have your friends in the car too and the radio on loud? If so, she's right...how often do you check your mirrors? I'm 45 and my parents have a fit if I bike ride without my hearing aids, but they're right in getting upset too because I really wouldn't hear a car coming up near me and I don't have a mirror on the bike.

If this situation with your mother is more than you can stand, you should tell you'll pick up the tab for college and move out.
 
green427 said:
Unfortunately you are in a similar situation as many of us hearing-impaired...oops, I mean deaf, people.....surrounded by ignorant hearing people.
Click to expand...

Sounds like everyone is too hung up on labels and offended too easily. People should just say what they want without walking around a ball park, stepping on egg shells and analyzing every word for who they "might offend" by making a statement. It's a medically accepted as a word and has been forever without being dragged before the courts.....
 
First of all, Welcome to AD. :D

I am sorry about your experiences with family, and hope someone who can share with you from their experiences. I assure you that you are not alone to feel that way. Lots of us are different based on how parents raise us and Deaf Culture and Deaf community.
Please keep reading every threads here on forum. Yes you will have a normal life as long as you accept who you are then you are all good. :)

Enjoy :)
 
Lau2046 said:
Sounds like everyone is too hung up on labels and offended too easily. People should just say what they want without walking around a ball park, stepping on egg shells and analyzing every word for who they "might offend" by making a statement. It's a medically accepted as a word and has been forever without being dragged before the courts.....
Click to expand...

Just go easy on yourself. :D


Its doctors term, not mine. Therefore I would say, I am Deaf! :D
 
Lau2046 said:
Or you kidding me with that line?? It's a medical term to define hearing loss, not a life choice. I'm hearing impaired and that word acturately describes my deafness having lost my hearing to Rubella. I didn't "decide" to stop listening to world. If you call me hard of hearing, that's essentially saying the same thing. I'm learning disabled too so should I take that as personal insult or start correcting my doctor and saying I have an intellectual disability? What should I call my boss is he's an a$$$$$? Socially challenged?
.
Click to expand...

All this depends on where you are and your respect for the culture.
 
Yes, I agree everyone is different.

I say deaf. If I saw hard of hearing people expect me to have more hearing than I actually do so I dropped that term rather quickly.

As for the BAHA, I'm sure its like hearing aids and coochlear implants they need adjusting and upgrading just like other technology. You prob need an upgrade and/or an adjustment.
 
KatieBug2014 said:
Sorry if I offended you with the term hearing impaired. I have been in the hearing world my whole life so I'm not really educated on deaf culture.
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You have nothing to be sorry about, pleases do not let anyone stop you from saying hearing impaired. If you Google ' hearing impaired' you will find plenty of links using this term. This a free country and people can call their hearing lost anything they want to. Have you thought going to your audiologist with your mother so they educate her ?
 
Bottesini said:
All this depends on where you are and your respect for the culture.
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I don't think anyone is being disrespectful to the culture when they're talking about their own hearing lost. I call myself handicap because my hearing is a handicap to me , this does not mean I am calling every deaf or hoh person handicap. Why does everyone have to think alike to be part of a culture?
 
I did not say it was a life style choice, but meant that if it is your choice to say "impaired" so be it.

There, more clarity.
 
Nanna said:
I did not say it was a life style choice, but meant that if it is your choice to say "impaired" so be it.

There, more clarity.
Click to expand...

I agree , if a person want to say they're 'hearing impaired' it's their rights and should not be made to feel guilty about it.
 
I have used the term 'hearing impaired' many times over the years. But when you mentioned it, people tend to not understand what it means. They give me a confused facial expression of 'what the hell does that mean?'. Same with using 'hard of hearing'.

So lately I have been saying 'I'm Deaf'. You can't get any clearer than that.

But after say 'I'm Deaf', I then explain I can talk very well, just need to be able to see their faces when they talk to me. After that it solves any issues, at least for me. It works out most of the time, other times. It's not worth the effort explaining.
 
Yu're 17. You have the right to chose when you wear your BAHA. (BTW do you have atresia? I do too) I don't wear my aids all the time.....
And yes, your mother is forgetting that your other senses are compensating for your lack of hearing. You might have an issue if you were late deafened (ie not used to functioning without hearing)
 
I have turner syndrome. It's a genetic disorder and it caused my ears to be deformed which caused me to have chronic ear disease. the ear infections are what killed my hearing.
 
Lau2046 said:
Or you kidding me with that line?? It's a medical term to define hearing loss, not a life choice. I'm hearing impaired and that word acturately describes my deafness having lost my hearing to Rubella. I didn't "decide" to stop listening to world. If you call me hard of hearing, that's essentially saying the same thing. I'm learning disabled too so should I take that as personal insult or start correcting my doctor and saying I have an intellectual disability? What should I call my boss is he's an a$$$$$? Socially challenged?



If this situation with your mother is more than you can stand, you should tell you'll pick up the tab for college and move out.
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on the other hand, you wouldn't call yourself Y chromosome impaired, or learning impaired or any other term with impaired would you?
and it's a MEDICAL NEGATIVE term. It views being dhh as something extremely impaired.
You're not hearing impaired. You never had hearing in the first place. You don't know what it's like to be hearing.
 
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