Have you cut off contact from your family for some reason?

Yes my sister because she is so stuck in the past. She always pick fights with my mother and my father and well pretty much everyone in the family. Time to get over those wounds and move on with your life.

I will as soon as I live MD, My family are physic vampires! Life is too short to deal with drama
 
LuciaDisturbed said:
Not when family has been very abusive. My dad and his wife was very physically abusive to me. Now I have nothing to do with my dad and his wife. It's better this way.
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I agree with you. Having contact with an abuser can be self abuse, because we revictimize ourselves every time we have contact with the abuser (or in my case, my abusers wife). It can be very emotionally damaging to do that, and sometimes, you just have to have no contact for your own emotional well being.

It's never selfish to take care of oneself and in fact, it's an healthy thing to do.

Not all families are crafted after Ozzy and Harriet. Some families come straight from our own worst nightmares.
 
The*Empress said:
why they hit you for?

Did they try so hard to be a parent to you, but don't know how
but physically abuse you instead?
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Lucia didnt have to answer you WHY they did it to her. It isnt your business. ALL she said was she stop contact with them. Thats it.
 
I forget to add, I cut contact with my birth father because hes a deadbeat unfit father, and he have never been there for me.... He tried to show up in my life but too late.. his loss...
 
It would be nice if I can cut off all contact from all people.

But we all have to deal with people.
 
The*Empress said:
why they hit you for?

Did they try so hard to be a parent to you, but don't know how
but physically abuse you instead?
Click to expand...

That implies alot, and I don't think it matters. It comes down to this...

Lucia chose to have no contact with her "parents", and that is her right. It's not selfish to want to protect oneself from someone so abusive as they were to her.
 
What happen if you accidently stuck on an island with your abusive
relative???


And if that abusive relative apologize to you and want to compromise
with you, so that you and that person can build a camp fire together,
build shelter, and find food together... and learn to live together
and learn to understand each other....???

Or would you stay mad and try to find food yourself, crave for human
contact, and all?
 
The*Empress said:
What happen if you accidently stuck on an island with your abusive
relative???


And if that abusive relative apologize to you and want to compromise
with you, so that you and that person can build a camp fire together,
build shelter, and find food together... and learn to live together
and learn to understand each other....???

Or would you stay mad and try to find food yourself, crave for human
contact, and all?
Click to expand...
I'd choose to jump off the island and let the man-eating sharks get me rather than to stay on the same island with my physically & mentally abusive brother.
I don't need to know why he had an urge to leave a 'brand' of his ring under my right eye. He was so damn proud of his 'brand' and said that it will always remind me of him. I don't need to know why he had an urge to set my coat on fire while I was still in it. I don't need to know or understand why he did all those things to me. I've spend years trying to understand why he was so full of anger.. He's angry because I, as a lesbian, don't have HIV+/AIDS and him as a straight person has it.
ah, here I go.. I'm shuddering again.
 
The*Empress said:
What happen if you accidently stuck on an island with your abusive
relative???


And if that abusive relative apologize to you and want to compromise
with you, so that you and that person can build a camp fire together,
build shelter, and find food together... and learn to live together
and learn to understand each other....???

Or would you stay mad and try to find food yourself, crave for human
contact, and all?
Click to expand...

That's a very unlikely scenerio.
 
EyesBlueDeaf said:
I'd choose to jump off the island and let the man-eating sharks get me rather than to stay on the same island with my physically abusive brother.
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This, however, is a much more realistic reaction, and one I think most of us who've been abused would consider!
 
serious! family is something you want to value. imagine one of your own kid want to cut things off with you. dont be stupid to cut off on yur OWN blood family eventho if they did something that make u tick off.. move on and forgive and forget! family is very important in your life... think about it
some of my family have done something really wrong to me but guess what? I forgave and move on.. they live with the guilt. not me... i even told them just to move on and enjoy the life.
 
I have cut my cousin out of my life for 2 years--refused to talk to him at family events. Now we talk a little but much at family gatherings.

To make long story short, he was kicked out of his apt and needed a place to stay so I let him sleep at my apt. Then decided let him live with me and my bf but he have to pay part of rent and bills. At first, he did pay rent but later came up with all kinds of excuses for not paying rent. So I was like he broke my trust in him so thats it. He moved out. It sucks when its your family members doing this shyt. :mad:

I understand cutting certain family members out of your life permenantly if they were abusive to you in major way such as molesting, drugs, etc. Its not worth staying in touch with abusive family members if you feel hurt over and over becuz of the past. Its ok to forgive them--letting your hurts and anger go but forgiveness doesn't mean you forget what they did to you in the past.
 
Jesus said TURN THE OTHER CHEEK....

My uncle molested me... and I didn't care...

And when I saw him again, I ignored him... so he never bother me again.

Molesters and Abusers want to put fear in you and want to control you and
your life...

So if you just ignored him... he'll go away...

If Abusers won't go away, fight back.... and call the police on them.

Let them know that you aren't afraid of their puny selves. *Scoff*
 
LisaMarie said:
serious! family is something you want to value. imagine one of your own kid want to cut things off with you. dont be stupid to cut off on yur OWN blood family eventho if they did something that make u tick off.. move on and forgive and forget! family is very important in your life... think about it
some of my family have done something really wrong to me but guess what? I forgave and move on.. they live with the guilt. not me... i even told them just to move on and enjoy the life.
Click to expand...

Well, why should anyone stay contact with family after what they did to them?

My Dad & I reunion each other after 10 years no contact. I forgave him and move on... Step-mother is the reason, we broke our contact. We contact again after the death of step-mother. My Dad didn't abuse me but neglect me.... long story...

Should I move on and forgive my step-dad after what he abused me in physical/verbal/emotion way? No, I can't... I am glad that I didn't see him...It would got me nightmare if I see him... Unfortunlately, I saw him at my sister's cremation for a first time after 34 years no see last June 2006. My Dad & brother forbid him to attend my sister's cremation because they know my sister would never want him... He choose to disrespect them...and tried to attend her cremation... Thanks god, that they throw him out.

If the parents want to value their family then make postive disiplince on their children instead of use physcial or verbal abuse on them. It's hard for anyone to get move on after what they did to them in physical/verbal abuse way. It might take them long to forgive their parents or maybe not.
 
The*Empress said:
It would be nice if I can cut off all contact from all people.

But we all have to deal with people.
Click to expand...

I've cut off all contact from people who have been SO toxic to me. I have learned that being around toxic people can make me stressed and sick. So I have had to make some hard decision to cut off people who have treated me like shit. Ever since I made that decision, I have been feeling so much better. I am not in as much physical pain as I used to be before. I am not as sick as I used to be.
 
I am fortunate, that I still have my family...to all those of you, if your respective families aren't making you feel any better, I would do the same if I was in your shoes!

Kashveera
 
My Grandmother and her sisters were very close....

Until, my grandmother married again to
an abusive man, Mr. Brown.
My Grandmother turned to alcohol, drunk all the time... She died alone at old age in nursing home.
And my dad and his half brothers were same way... abuse their wives,
and drunk... the youngest brother turned to drugs and died after my dad died.

Mr. Brown destroyed my Dad's entire Family.....

And since that dumb Mr. Brown died already, hope he is in HELL now...
I am trying to get my dad's family back together.... but it is hard...

SO it is so sad that family have to split apart because of an Abuser in
the family....

I tried to contact my dad's twin brothers, I want to know about them...
cause I know I have some cousins.

But I do have contact with my Dad's first cousins.... whew....

But I need to know about the twin brothers and the other family members.

Thank alot Mr. Brown.
 
I am starting to cut off to my family contact because they are not understanding me and treating me right. I am totally last in everything because my sister her husband and kids get 1st pick with everything. I am totally at lost. I lost my birth parents, my adopted parents are being nasty so I barely talk to them. My adopted family is not that big with communication anymore and I rarely do anything, I told them I feel like an outcast. No one is listening!! I have had it with being a loner. I have few friendds that I have that will stay in contact.
 
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