Have the Jehovah Witness people come to your door?

[oakbluffs]

I'd tell them I'm jewish

or

I'd say "I don't want to waste YOUR time"

 

[sequoias]

Somebody brought up a old thread! :P Anyways, I had Jehovah Witness people come to my door, mostly at my parents place in California, I would would nod and say I'm not interested in it, please remove me! :P IF you give them your address, they will come knocking on the door. I never gave them my address again, so they never came to my door.

 

[Kalista]

well JW and mormons aren't allowed on our property cuz we got dogs and whenever they show up and park on the side street and my dogs bark i simplly put the leash on one of my dogs and act like im walking and when they see me coming WITH A DOG they take off So since then they never came back!

:roll: Java has been stripper dancing around in her living room when JW people rang her door bell light flasher. Java ignored JW's people.

Java has been dancer around while her dog pee...

 

[Kalista]

Lol, To "donning a costume and ummm, nevermind" usi

Tousi - you surely scared JW people out of your door !!


Tousi

 

[C.C.Sinned]

Not since I stepped out of the house naked & holding a shot gun. They ran fast and yelled from the car. Calling me a wicked wicked (yes I'm double wicked) evil sinning lunitic. Who told them so much about me???
They never bothered us again after that... CC ->

<-- JW Pests

 

[Reba]

First I tell them that I am a born-again Christian. Then I politely offer them a Christian tract. I do not debate them, nor do I wish them God-speed. Usually they act like my tract is radioactive and make a quick retreat.

C.C., I almost believe that they are more afraid of a Bible tract than a shotgun (however, I also have one of those for back up when needed ).

 

[Mistyrose]

LOL! Reba! I would do the same thing!..
My husband told JW one time who came at the door with some kids at around Xmas time and told the lady he felt sorry for her kids who wont be having Christmas since they dont believe in Christmas and the little girl started crying! boy! did the mother get pissed off and left in a hurry and then the rest of the kids started crying too...lol! poor things...really! we felt sorry for the kids cuz they dont have Christmas at all....how sad.
Oh well...you just hafta excuse my husband, he is very outspoken..heh.

 

[Taylor]

First I tell them that I am a born-again Christian. Then I politely offer them a Christian tract. I do not debate them, nor do I wish them God-speed. Usually they act like my tract is radioactive and make a quick retreat.

C.C., I almost believe that they are more afraid of a Bible tract than a shotgun (however, I also have one of those for back up when needed ).

Reba, Your reply reminds me of a guy that I know. This guy is only 20 years old but comes from a very religious family and is a master debater when it comes to the bible and religious items. He is also a very well spoken person. He was at my house one time when JW's came by. He not only debated them, but had excellent counter points to whatever they brought up. He continually interupted them and would point out what is wrong with what they were saying and would have an excellent argument to back it up. In the end, I think he had almost converted them over to our side LOL

Somebody forwarded the below to me some time ago:

How to remove your house from the Jehovah's Witness' visit list:

1. Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry. (Immediate results.)

2. Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long
their spirit of Christian charity lasts.

3. Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?"
This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing
bets on how long it takes for them to get flustered and leave.

4. Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the Forty two children. You
may have to resort to another method to actually get rid of them, but
this will definitely make them sweat. (2 Kings, chapter 2, ummm...
somewhere near the end.)

5. Excuse yourself from your sitting room (or wherever) and DO NOT come
back.

6. Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls (booky,
order for pornography, drug deal, obscene call, and if they are STILL
there, a tearfull confession to the police for the murder of the last
Witnesses who visited you.)

7. Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus, heaven, it, the
etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it. If they ask you what's going
on, say "nothing, why?" in very even tones, and giggle again.

8. Same as #7, except say "beep" instead of giggling.

9. (Males only) Feign an intense interest in their spiel. Part way through,
begin putting on make-up, hosiery, a dress, the whole works. Make
encouraging noises (uh huh, I see...) throughout, and if they ask you
what you're doing, pull a #7. If they're still there when you are done,
ask them if they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten
minutes.

10. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.

 

[Huskies1947]

probably not... one more comment... if you know the JW are at the door... wear only a towel and invite them in and tell them that your rules that they has to be nude otherwise don't come back!

I have been told few JW deaf ladies that I am not interesting and have told them that I don't want to involves that religious..but they still keep on coming back and bother me about this also leaving me with 2 magazines..and told me about "terroists" etc.etc...I am so tired of it..If i make them stop to come here and they for sure give other deaf JW people my address anbd they will come anyways!!!
I wish I have a big pitbill dog to scares them!!
I have no nerve to yell to leave me alone bec my father and mother taught me never yell to others!! That's why..DAMN!!
HELP ME!! How can iI get them not come back again????

 

[Huskies1947]

Yes, you are right they do not believe CHRISTMAS, BIRTHDAYS, AND ALL HOLIDAYS!! EVEN AMERICAN FLAG!! Becuz I have few friends who are JW they told me about it and I did questioning religious..boy I can not believe it!! Even do not have them get blood transfusion (even if families can give blood...NO!!) Bec one said see there are many AIDS that's why as they think they are right! I told them what about families can give each other blood they are in same type of blood NOT FROM STRANGERS!!! Boy it gets me so mad..and I did kept on arguing with JW people about their regilious!! Now I don't see my friends for long time I would say more than 10 years bec of that!!...I do not understand why they joined? Have to go there few times a week even on weekends...where their pleasures!! And yes I agree with you that you said you're feeling sorry for their kids in school with parties, holidays celebrations and others...

 

[Chrysanthe]

Poor FF! I mean I don't have anything against LDS at ALL, but if you're gay and LDS it can be quite horrible. Isn't there a LDS/ Mormon gay support group? I forget what it's called.....
To get back to the orginal thread topic..for the street missionaries I just act deaf...I'll sign "What? I'm sorry...I can't understand you...I am deaf." Luckily it's very rare that the prolethesizers come visit my neighborhood. However when they do...I have so much fun with them! I'll say stuff like " Certainly...won't you come in? We were just awaiting a person to use for our next human sacrifice..... You must have been sent by Zamphir Himself!"

Hiya. I'm mormon myself. Its not true that LDS are rejecting gay/lesbian. They do support them as they treat heterosexual. If you have qq about it, just pm me.

 

[FeistyChick]

Reba, Your reply reminds me of a guy that I know. This guy is only 20 years old but comes from a very religious family and is a master debater when it comes to the bible and religious items. He is also a very well spoken person. He was at my house one time when JW's came by. He not only debated them, but had excellent counter points to whatever they brought up. He continually interupted them and would point out what is wrong with what they were saying and would have an excellent argument to back it up. In the end, I think he had almost converted them over to our side LOL

Somebody forwarded the below to me some time ago:

How to remove your house from the Jehovah's Witness' visit list:

1. Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry. (Immediate results.)

2. Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long
their spirit of Christian charity lasts.

3. Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?"
This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing
bets on how long it takes for them to get flustered and leave.

4. Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the Forty two children. You
may have to resort to another method to actually get rid of them, but
this will definitely make them sweat. (2 Kings, chapter 2, ummm...
somewhere near the end.)

5. Excuse yourself from your sitting room (or wherever) and DO NOT come
back.

6. Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls (booky,
order for pornography, drug deal, obscene call, and if they are STILL
there, a tearfull confession to the police for the murder of the last
Witnesses who visited you.)

7. Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus, heaven, it, the
etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it. If they ask you what's going
on, say "nothing, why?" in very even tones, and giggle again.

8. Same as #7, except say "beep" instead of giggling.

9. (Males only) Feign an intense interest in their spiel. Part way through,
begin putting on make-up, hosiery, a dress, the whole works. Make
encouraging noises (uh huh, I see...) throughout, and if they ask you
what you're doing, pull a #7. If they're still there when you are done,
ask them if they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten
minutes.

10. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.

the naked part does the trick! a friend of mine FLASHED HIMSELF and also another friend of mine opened the door with her shirt wide open baring both of her bewbiez and her daughter sucking at one of the beewwwbbiiiiieeeezzz!!! LMAO!!!

as for me.. i give them a nasty tone.. and it works.. cuz i don't have the GUTS TO FLASH MY BEWBIEEEEZZZ!!! SHEESH!!!

 

[Soonersseth]

Last time they came I pointed to my ear to indicate deafness and the woman signed "He loves you" I said "Yeah ok" in my most irritated voice and shut the door.

 

[DaClassOf2005]

i'd say:

"I suck cock! *sucks on dildo* You want some dick?? *offers them the dildo* Damn yummy!"

they'd leave like bees.

 

[Chrysanthe]

WHOA!! You are talking about me!? I was a former LDS/Mormon Missionary! *sobbing!!*


Hey hey, I am kidding. But I m not kidding about me being a mormon missionary.

I know sometimes those mormon missionaries can be annoying as JW people. To tell ya a truth, they shouldn't be bothering you!!!

First of all, on my training days, we were taught to respect other people's wishes. I guess those missionaries were bored and decided to bug you.

Actually, during my mission in New York City, my companion and I visited to these non members, for those who weren't interested. We had index cards, and we wrote their names on each card, saying, if this person was friendly and asking some questions about the church, then we would jot it down that he or she could be interested. OR if he or she was telling us that he/she isn't interested. Then we would be jotting it down, "NI" meaning not interested. Once I see a card saying NI, then I don't come and bother them. Maybe if we both get transfer to a different area, a new pair and ignore the card of NI, they are stupid for not reading those cards!!!! lol.

LDS missionaries are not only to preach and baptizing non LDS. They are also serving for others. Such as, I worked at Tanya Towers and I go over there every Friday and served them lunch. During the lunchtimes, I go and talk with these wonderful elderly deaf people. There were another time, we took Jewish Rabbi, which he was very old and couldn't walk. We took him to his dr appt. There are many reasons why the LDS missionaries are on the mission field to serve for people. Not just only LDS members.... they do for non LDS. Our purpose to do is to love another. Especially to Gay and Lesbian. Boy, I could go on and on. But I dont wanna bore you.

The point is, that I do respect everyon's wishes and feeling about their feelings. It is up to them to listen or not. I wouldn't be bitter about it. I only wanted to be their friends.

JW, they can be annoying. Honestly, I do not know what their purposes are. However, I am not really fond of them because of my experiences. There were several times they tried to bash with us. When they do, we just tell them about our testimonies and walk off.

Also when we went to Tanya Towers, we got on the elevator and saw two ladies on the elevator. And these ladies were standing and would not look at us or greet us. Then the one of them was giving a dirty look at my companion. I interrupted her moment looking at my companion, said " Happy Halloween!" then she looked at me scoldly, " we do not believe in Halloween! We are JW!" WHOA! I was like oookkkaay! Then we both got off the elevator before they start their bashing discussion. Really, it turned me off. I just wanted to be friendly, but nope. They tried to squished us like bugs.

 

[Mistyrose]

oh yikes....... better be careful what we are saying in here about the JW and other types of religions.....cuz we might hurt their feelings.............. :Ohno:
Im guilty..so forgive me..................

 

[Daft]

From another forum, here are a few ideas you can use to get rid of JWs at your door. Say to them:

1. "I'm so glad you're here. The Blessed Virgin Mary appeared to me this morning and told me to watch for you."

2. "Please, let me pray for you in the name of Jesus Christ." (JW's deny Jesus is God.)

3. "You know that verse about how no man can serve two masters?" (JW's keep this one bookmarked.) "Please explain James 1:1 to me - 'James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.'"

4. "I was just thinking that your wife/daughter is the most desirable woman I've seen all week. Is she free tonight?"

5. "My wife was a Jehovah's Witness for years and found out it was all a scam & a big lie.. would you like to come in and she'll tell you all about it?"

Also, you can get some other religious writings from a different church. Then when they come to your door, tell them you will read their handouts ONLY if they will stay and read yours.

A former JW told me that JWs are trained to follow a very specific topic. If you drift from the topic, they won't know how to respond. In other words, they're screwed.

My last encounter with JWs (this is when I did have some hearing and could have a discussion with them) they wanted to discuss the Book of Revelation. They started telling me the End Times were here and all these terrible things were about to happen. I stopped them and I told, "I'm sorry, but it looks as if you really have no idea what you are talking about. Let me explain." So I explained to the Book of Revelation was actually written around 70 AD during the time of persecution by the Romans. This book was encouraging the Christians at that time to live their daily lives without fear. They were absolutely stunned. One of them then opened his Bible and pointed out a phrase "and it will soon turn to pass" and I stopped him. I reminded him that was written almost 2000 years ago and 2000 years seems an awfully long time for something "soon" to happen. Since I took them away from the pre-planned discussion on Revelation, they didn't know what to say.

Before they left, I told them they really needed to sit down, open the Bible, and really read it to understand it. They had to read the entire thing and not just pick out a phrase here and there. And lastly, I told them I would pray for them so they could some day see the Light.

I haven't seen them since.

 

[VamPyroX]

Simple, do this:

*strips down naked*

*opens the door*

Me: "Hello, may I help you?"

JW: "Um, yes... we're Jehovah's Witnesses. Would you be interested in hearing about the Bible?"

Me: "Um... sure, come on in! But, I gotta warn you... you'll have to pardon me, my wife, and my girlfriend for we're having an anal orgy. My girlfriend's pet dog is also involved. You can go ahead and talk while we're busy."

 

[mlkshkgrl]

 

[FreeWoman77]

Reba, Your reply reminds me of a guy that I know. This guy is only 20 years old but comes from a very religious family and is a master debater when it comes to the bible and religious items. He is also a very well spoken person. He was at my house one time when JW's came by. He not only debated them, but had excellent counter points to whatever they brought up. He continually interupted them and would point out what is wrong with what they were saying and would have an excellent argument to back it up. In the end, I think he had almost converted them over to our side LOL

Somebody forwarded the below to me some time ago:

How to remove your house from the Jehovah's Witness' visit list:

1. Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry. (Immediate results.)

2. Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long
their spirit of Christian charity lasts.

3. Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?"
This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing
bets on how long it takes for them to get flustered and leave.

4. Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the Forty two children. You
may have to resort to another method to actually get rid of them, but
this will definitely make them sweat. (2 Kings, chapter 2, ummm...
somewhere near the end.)

5. Excuse yourself from your sitting room (or wherever) and DO NOT come
back.

6. Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls (booky,
order for pornography, drug deal, obscene call, and if they are STILL
there, a tearfull confession to the police for the murder of the last
Witnesses who visited you.)

7. Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus, heaven, it, the
etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it. If they ask you what's going
on, say "nothing, why?" in very even tones, and giggle again.

8. Same as #7, except say "beep" instead of giggling.

9. (Males only) Feign an intense interest in their spiel. Part way through,
begin putting on <a style='text-decoration: none; border-bottom: 3px double;' href="http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=22&k=make%20up" onmouseover="window.status='make-up'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">make-up</a>, hosiery, a dress, the whole works. Make
encouraging noises (uh huh, I see...) throughout, and if they ask you
what you're doing, pull a #7. If they're still there when you are done,
ask them if they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten
minutes.

10. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.

u dont have to show nude but weapon they will leave quickly for sure
they were here i was busy with my 2 little girls they stayed pretty long not mind to wait, but i kept busy they gave up and let me go they left but come back next time, also not have to open door.. and i found funny ur suggestion that about gigglin or beep on front of them, lol, i d try but my husband will puzzle what i m talkin about