Hard of hearing people who act totally Deaf

Alex

Alex

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Why is that? I know a few hard of hearing people who can hear and speak well but most of the time act as if they're totally deaf and cannot speak nor hear. Is it because they're afraid they might miss certain spoken words and give an off-the-point reply, thus it's better off acting deaf to save embarrassment?

Who else on this board hard of hearing? Ok, what are the other reasons?
 
Alex, maybe its "political", seeing as how ASL is the most politically dominating mode of communication?
 
Good question, but I’m not quite sure of the answer myself. I know one person who has almost exactly the same pattern of hearing loss that I have—she’s profoundly deaf in one ear, and has almost normal hearing in the other. Yet when she introduces herself to people, either hearing or d/Deaf, she almost always tells them "I am deaf." I’ve repeatedly tried to explain to her that it isn’t proper for her to identify herself in this manner. She’s not legally deaf, and although she’s fluent in ASL, many Deaf people would take offense at her identifying herself as being Deaf. I’ve never identified myself to anybody, hearing or d/Deaf, as being d/Deaf. When I meet a d/Deaf person, I clearly explain the nature of my hearing loss and provide a brief medical history. I’ve tried to encourage her to do the same thing, but for some reason she wants to identify herself as being Deaf.

She does pretend to be profoundly deaf sometimes, but only as a joke. She and a friend of hers (who has full bilateral hearing and is also fluent in ASL) have a long running gag that they play where they go to Denny’s and pretend they’re deaf. They play it to the hilt, indicating to the waiter or waitress they are deaf and communicating with a pen and notepad. But it’s just a gag—they do it just to observe the reaction of the other customers to their behavior.

The answer to your question may be that HOH people find humor in pretending that they can’t understand what people around them are saying. I do the same thing sometimes. Since I’m white, I sometimes don’t let Hispanic people know that I can understand what they’re saying. It’s fun to just spring it on them right out of the blue, and watch the reaction on their faces as they search their memories for everything they’ve ever said about me in my presence. :shock:
 
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I don't know exactly how to answer that question. I do the same thing sometimes. It usually depends on my mood and the situation.

For instance, I'll either talk in class or not. Maybe, I don't feel like talking... so I'll just sign when making comments to the interpreter. However, I only do this 1 out of 10 times when I'm in class. I usually do this when I don't like the teacher.

Other times, I talk for myself. I always speak for myself when I'm talking to a hearing person, but I do rarely go for the pen-&-paper method if I can't understand.

If I'm around deaf people, then I'll act "deaf". I do this for two reasons. Usually, it's to make them comfortable and help me communicate better with them. Rarely, it's to keep myself at less risk of being ended up to be their interpreter. Sometimes, a deaf person will realize that I'm hard-of-hearing that when they see me, they'll ask me to help them by interpreting for them. It gets a bit annoying when they do that at times.

It's also nice to fool around a bit when I act "deaf" though. I'll be "deaf" among my friends when I'm at a restaurant or in line at a fast food restaurant. By the time the server/cashier is ready to take my order, they begin to treat me like a deaf person. In response, I'll start talking for myself... and it'll surprise them.

Like I said, it's hard to give you an exact good reason for acting like this. It depends on my mood and the situation.
 
Hmmm...that's a good question. I know someone who claims to be HOH like myself (me, who is very HOH) and she acts like she is HOH when it's clear she is not. I don't act deaf...i just act like myself. I've never told people that i am deaf and would never act it, i don't think that that is a mature thing to do. I don't think that deaf people act a certain way....i don't know...thats' just me
 
I understand what Vamp meant by having a HOH interp'ing for their deaf friends. I have a friend who has CI recently and she grew up oral but she does use ASL to conversate with deaf friends. Before she got her CI, she rarely interp'ed for me whenever we go out to shop or order food. She usually offers to interp for me if the hearing person is having a hard time to understand my writing or whatnot (usually those people don't speak English and they couldn't understand all those special requests I ask on the food) so I grew accustomed to her "services". When she gets her CI, she always prompts herself to be prepared to interp for me. Somtimes i would tell her to take a break and I can write on a piece of paper to get something simple... I think she knew about the interp service that the deaf friends would expect since she is able to hear... but at the same time, i wonder if most deaf people realize that? Because sometimes I can tell when she is getting tired of being asked to interp for SIMPLE things. It depends entirely on the mood of the HOH person, I think. Yeah. If they are in rush then they, of course, will offer to save some time and hassle. It depends on many different factors.
She always said that she is deaf (not Deaf) and HOH if she turns her CI on. Politicially correct is the best way to go. :D

Although I know several "immature" hearing friends who would just pretend to be deaf for the hell of it. You have to remember they are intriguied by how we interact in the hearing world. They probably just want to get a feeling how it was like to be treated like a truly deaf person.
One time in the days of middle school, one of my hearing friend whom is *VERY* fluent in ASL decided that she would pretend to be deaf in the first day of school- mainstreamed school. She would sign to everybody and hang out with deaf people (my posse of deaf friends who "ruled" the deaf community in the middle school). Everybody *truly* believed that she was deaf because they saw her with me, signing away and so on. She found it hilarious because she was able to spy in some coversations by those hearing folks, talking about "deafness" and us and so on. She would interp for me the gossips in the classes (we had three classes together). Then couple of days later, she had to drop the facade because it was confusing the teachers because she didn't have interps in certain classes where there were no deafies in her class and she managed to understand everything the teacher said even tho she was supposed to be deaf! (ah, she blew her cover)Everybody was sort of upset for all of those follies by her. She transfered next month because she didn't like the hearing kids... hmm... I wondered if she was able to keep that facade longer if she kept her act straight and it would keep her in the school instead of being transferred out...

Nevertheless- I think the hearing people/HOH have an entirely different sense of humor compared to deaf folks so maybe being posed as deaf person is hilarious to them. [Remembering a hearing friend teased me for signing in English and that I am not "Deaf"... she found this *extremely* funny while I gave her my dirty look and said, "that is because you are too slow to understand the ASL at all so I have to sign in English for YOU"]... ecch, i hate it when I snap back... they were asking for it altho.
 
Something else occurred to me. Are these people at the age at which they are still forming their sense of self identity? Mid to late teens and early twenties? And is the nature of their hearing loss such that they frequently get into awkward social situations with peers who have normal hearing? Were they made fun of in school because they were HOH? It’s possible that they are trying to ingratiate themselves with Deaf peers as a way of gaining social acceptance. Maybe their desire to be accepted has caused them to actually believe that their ability to hear is less than it really is. Maybe wishful thinking has caused them to stubbornly cling to the false notion that they are deaf. Do they show an abnormally strong interest in acquiring ASL skills?
 
I really don't like labels. I see myself as Deaf after learning ASL. When I was oral and didn't know ASL, I called myself hard of hearing. I am being myself and not pretending to be one or the other. When I communicate with people, I tend to use a form of communication that fits the majority of the group I am hanging out with. I think it is something I automatically do without thinking, it is just a habit that I match the best communication method for the group setting. For example:

- If there are hearing people only, I would tend to just talk and lipread.

- If there are only oral & hard of hearing people, I would tend to talk and sign the same time.

- If there are 5 hearing people and 2 Deaf people, I would tend to talk and sign the same time. I believe it is rude not to include Deaf friends in the conversation!

- If there are only Deaf people in the group, I would only sign and never use my voice.

- Depending on the grammar and comprehension levels of the person or people I am communicating with, I try my best to match my level so they would understand me better.
 
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As a profound Deaf person myself, I suspect that
there are more than 2 reasons:

1) So that way these hearing people acting "deaf"
could be accepted & being part of
the Deaf communities making friends

2) They have lower self-esteem in the hearing world
much less than in the deaf world wheres they feel
higher self-esteem by hanging around with these deafies

Hope that make sense, ugh ?
 
Y said:
As a profound Deaf person myself, I suspect that
there are more than 2 reasons:

1) So that way these hearing people acting "deaf"
could be accepted & being part of
the Deaf communities making friends

2) They have lower self-esteem in the hearing world
much less than in the deaf world wheres they feel
higher self-esteem by hanging around with these deafies

Hope that make sense, ugh ?
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I know what you mean, some hearing people are like that. I think it is a bad thing for hearing people to pretend to be Deaf because when they get caught, people in general would have a harder time accepting true Deaf people. Have you ever heard of "The Boy who cried Wolf"?
 
Alex, do you mean hard of hearies who act physically deaf or hard of hearies who are really into the whole Deaf culture thing?
I'll admit, I am guilty at times of "faking deaf" to get out of a sitution where I can't understand the person talking (happens quite a bit even with my aids!)
or if a begger comes up to me or if one of those annoying street preachers comes up to me as well.
However, what precisely do you mean by "deaf"? Only a very tiny percentage of deafies are stone-deaf (profoundly deaf) Many deaf function as hoh with hearing aids or CI or ABI or whatever. and only about 1% of deafies are the Deaf-Seperatist type who only know ASL and have never had speech and auditory training.
I identify as deaf, since I am only five dcB away from being "legally" deaf and b/c I can't really function too well without my hearing aids. It's weird....I cannot hear thunder even with my aids, but I can carry on a conversation with someone who has a high pitched or "professional speaker" voice(women, kids and gay males mostly) without my aids. It is possible to have profound deafness but not need to be aided or implanted or anything like that. As a matter of fact, there's a weird type of loss, where the person can only hear the speech sounds (the ones that are in the "speech banana") but cannot hear enviromental noises or anything else.
If you're talking about hoh who are really into the whole Deaf culture thing....who really cares? Being Deaf isn't about how much residual hearing you have....it's about using ASL and being into Deaf culture...it's about being a Visual/Seeing person rather then a "hearing impaired" person. There are actually a minority of Deaf who have 100% perfect hearing.(but who have conditions which inhibit speech like tracheostomies, or apraxia or severed vocal cords)...who aren't even hoh (unless they have a cold) who are Deafer then someone with a profound loss who wears hearing aids and belongs to SHHH and uses Assistive Listening Devices, and IDs as hoh. Deafness(big "D") is a sociological concept....NOT a physical one.
I am not surprised that there are a lot of hoh who are really into Deaf culture and ASL. Growing up most of us really didn't get too much exposure to ASL, b/c professional opinon had it that we had more in common with hearing then with deaf. Most of us got therapy therapy, therapy up the wazoo b/c we were seen as "almost hearing"...for most of us therapy, and some boring speaker yapping about the latest ALD, and newsletters filled with the latest hearing aids aren't very interesting. ASL and Deaf culture beats THAT by a MILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
today I went to a park with my dog to play around with for awhile... somebody came up to me and talked to me which I didn't understood clearly... I told them I'm deaf i can't hear so we wrote back and forth short time and I mention that I have hearing aids... then that person freaked out by thinking I have aids lol... Hearing ppl are definately wacko
 
Well i do talk and not talk, DEPENDS on the sound barriers i have. if im around a construction site or some loud place i demand them to either write back and forth OR move somewhere else where its more quieter i do read lips BUT i usually have them write IN CASE its important IE; directions, or case nbr or whatever, but mainly im always around deafies, but i do voice interp for the LDA my lips are easy to read when i talk very slow!
 
Deaf258 said:
- If there are only Deaf people in the group, I would only sign and never use my voice.
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Ehhhh, you have used your voice with me even though I am totally Deaf and never realised that you do use your voice until when I felt you speaking sometimes. :slap:
 
i know this is a bit off topic - I was born profound deaf in both ears and people keep calling me HOH and I keep telling them no I am deaf. I do sign not as fluent (its a bit too english structure but I am improving to be more ASL) It really annoys me how people dont think I am one of them cuz I am able to talk.
 
actually it's funny to me... the ones I mistakened for deaf didn't pretend to be deaf.. I assumed.. they just signed very, very well.. they always 'fessed up if I asked. lol :D I feel that hearing people who pretend to be deaf do a good job of bashing others' prejudices especially MY prejudice that hearing people arent good signers... except when they are selling ABC cards! :crazy:

So I appreciate and accept that some hearing people are very fluent with ASL and that they can be a part of my "world." They don't have to pretend around me. Anyone can be my friend.
 
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There was this 12 yr old kid named Bryan, hearing, who joined our deaf group with the exception of an asl-fluent hearing teacher with another deaf teacher in '97 on a trip to Italy and Greece because we used the same traveling company, EF. His own group cancelled out. Fortunately he could only sign a little. We knew he was hearing... and he became "one" of us... we conveniently forgot that he was hearing, and his signing improved so much at the end of the trip. He could sign like a deaf kid. *chuckle* That was a precious memory.
 
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kuifje75 said:
Ehhhh, you have used your voice with me even though I am totally Deaf and never realised that you do use your voice until when I felt you speaking sometimes. :slap:
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That's because you're the special one! ;)
 
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