Hard-Of-Hearing...Deaf

dWrite

dWrite

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I am technically hard-of-hearing... but after many years of experience with the hearing culture acting like I can hear everything (although my ability to lip read and speak is profoundly well) when that is truly not the case.

I became frustrated with being taken advantage of and annoyed with the way they would act like I didn't need interpreters, note takers, etc. I grew up mainstreamed and well-versed in the hearing culture whereas I felt out of place.

Now my question, is it ok for a hard-of-hearing person to call themself "Deaf"?

Does that ignite certain hard feelings or aggravation?

Why do some Deaf use the term "true Deaf"?

Am I wrong for calling myself "Deaf" and demanding others to love me for me and not look at my deafness as a disability but just a part of life that I was given to bear?

Just want some input...
 
dWrite said:
I am technically hard-of-hearing... but after many years of experience with the hearing culture acting like I can hear everything (although my ability to lip read and speak is profoundly well) when that is truly not the case.

I became frustrated with being taken advantage of and annoyed with the way they would act like I didn't need interpreters, note takers, etc. I grew up mainstreamed and well-versed in the hearing culture whereas I felt out of place.

Now my question, is it ok for a hard-of-hearing person to call themself "Deaf"?

Does that ignite certain hard feelings or aggravation?

Why do some Deaf use the term "true Deaf"?

Am I wrong for calling myself "Deaf" and demanding others to love me for me and not look at my deafness as a disability but just a part of life that I was given to bear?

Just want some input...
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dWrite,

As many here would say, you can call yourself anything you want. I am like you, but I consider myself deaf. "True Deaf" deals with Deaf culture (note the D is capitalized), which means that the Deaf (culture) are in their own little world and are very militant in protecting it. You and I, as well as most of the people here would not be accepted. shel90 is, but she is grafted in, as Deaf Culture didn't look after her when she was growing up and she got in due to being at Gallaudet University in D.C.

Where I live, the deaf don't really like talking to me because I'm very oral AND I have a hearing dog. Some did talk to me at the Signing Santa this past Christmas, but for the most part, they're quite hostile, even though one of their beloved's was a teacher of mine who taught my asl class and did talk to me. Otherwise, I've taken the advice of several friends here and choose to ignore them. I give that advice to you. If they don't accept you, want to talk to you or anything else, that's fine. You don't need to waste your oxygen talking to them, or the energy that saps your body, either! ;)
 
dWrite said:
Now my question, is it ok for a hard-of-hearing person to call themself "Deaf"?

Does that ignite certain hard feelings or aggravation?

Why do some Deaf use the term "true Deaf"?

Am I wrong for calling myself "Deaf" and demanding others to love me for me and not look at my deafness as a disability but just a part of life that I was given to bear?

Just want some input...
Click to expand...


I was progressively hard-of-hearing over two decades. My sister was totally deaf, and the main differences was our communication needs from hearies. Sis need people to sign or write. More and more, I needed people to speak clearly and did better when they spoke a bit louder. So we let people know she was deaf, and I was hard-of-hearing.

But neither she nor I have any hard feelings about how people label themselves (or not) to get along in the world. I do chuckle at someone with "some" loss in one ear saying he's deaf . . . or his wife saying he has "selective deafness." But no animosity. We've never even thought in such a term as "true deaf," but I'm sure you'll find those who do.

I'm totally deaf now and have no problem telling people -- and that I need their help to speech-read. It's those who won't give reasonable accomodations, especially after several requests, whom I detest and soon don't bother with.
 
Chase said:
. . . I'm totally deaf now and have no problem telling people -- and that I need their help to speech-read. It's those who won't give reasonable accomodations, especially after several requests, whom I detest and soon don't bother with.
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That's funny . . . I do the same thing! I also get very annoyed when people tell me that I either have "selective hearing" or that I take advantage of the ADA to benefit myself (as if why wouldn't I?)
 
I am nearly profoundly deaf, but I have very good speech and lip-reading skills. I have been in situations with other friends (both deaf and hoh), such as at a restaurant, and I am able to order food with the waitress understanding me perfectly and me understanding her by lip-reading, and my friends will say "Oh, you must be hard-of-hearing." And I'll tell them I'm truly not, that I'm deaf, and then a discussion ensues because they don't believe me because they think deaf people can't communicate as well as hard-of-hearing people do. I disagree. And it gets old ... What it all boils down to is that you have the right to call yourself whatever you want because as long as you have any amount of hearing loss, you certainly can call yourself deaf or hard-of-hearing, whatever you prefer. And if somebody else doesn't like it, tough cooties. :)
 
pek1 said:
dWrite,

As many here would say, you can call yourself anything you want. I am like you, but I consider myself deaf. "True Deaf" deals with Deaf culture (note the D is capitalized), which means that the Deaf (culture) are in their own little world and are very militant in protecting it. You and I, as well as most of the people here would not be accepted. shel90 is, but she is grafted in, as Deaf Culture didn't look after her when she was growing up and she got in due to being at Gallaudet University in D.C.
Where I live, the deaf don't really like talking to me because I'm very oral AND I have a hearing dog. Some did talk to me at the Signing Santa this past Christmas, but for the most part, they're quite hostile, even though one of their beloved's was a teacher of mine who taught my asl class and did talk to me. Otherwise, I've taken the advice of several friends here and choose to ignore them. I give that advice to you. If they don't accept you, want to talk to you or anything else, that's fine. You don't need to waste your oxygen talking to them, or the energy that saps your body, either! ;)
Click to expand...

U are right that I got accepted by Deaf culture cuz I enrolled at Gallaudet even though at first, I wasnt.

As for Deaf culture not looking after me while I was growing up, it is not true cuz I was the one who turned my back on them thinking I was superior to them due to being mainstreamed and having good oral skills. I snubbed them and that is my doing. I dont blame them for turning their backs on me when I tried becoming a part of them when I finally started learning ASL.
 
AlleyCat said:
I am nearly profoundly deaf, but I have very good speech and lip-reading skills. I have been in situations with other friends (both deaf and hoh), such as at a restaurant, and I am able to order food with the waitress understanding me perfectly and me understanding her by lip-reading, and my friends will say "Oh, you must be hard-of-hearing." And I'll tell them I'm truly not, that I'm deaf, and then a discussion ensues because they don't believe me because they think deaf people can't communicate as well as hard-of-hearing people do. I disagree. And it gets old ... What it all boils down to is that you have the right to call yourself whatever you want because as long as you have any amount of hearing loss, you certainly can call yourself deaf or hard-of-hearing, whatever you prefer. And if somebody else doesn't like it, tough cooties. :)
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Same here..I was born with a bilateral severe-profound deafness and I have been accused by both the hearing and Deaf communities for being hard of hearing rather than deaf.They even tell me that I am faking my deafness...WTF?? That's why I feel my oral skills can be a burden sometimes.
 
You are entitled to identify yourself any way you choose.
 
shel90 said:
. . . As for Deaf culture not looking after me while I was growing up, it is not true cuz I was the one who turned my back on them thinking I was superior to them due to being mainstreamed and having good oral skills. I snubbed them and that is my doing. I dont blame them for turning their backs on me when I tried becoming a part of them when I finally started learning ASL.
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I stand corrected. By the way, I didn't attend GU after high school because I didn't want to be associated with them. I think I felt how you did and my oral skills. I have been told by jillio (don't tell her I told you) that my speech is a ringer that I'm deaf. And, believe it or not, I occasionally stumble over words in trying to pronounce them. I was at the bank today and did a whopper in front of the personal banker, who knew what I needed. :Oops:
 
pek1 said:
I stand corrected. By the way, I didn't attend GU after high school because I didn't want to be associated with them. I think I felt how you did and my oral skills. I have been told by jillio (don't tell her I told you) that my speech is a ringer that I'm deaf. And, believe it or not, I occasionally stumble over words in trying to pronounce them. I was at the bank today and did a whopper in front of the personal banker, who knew what I needed. :Oops:
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No need to tell....I caught you!:giggle: And I recognized your speech as that of a deaf person, but I've had a lot of practice at it!:giggle:
 
I am the same way. I am profoundly deaf in my left ear and HOH in my right ear. I grew up mainstreamed my entire life. I never knew about deaf communities let alone Deaf Culture. Growing up I was always the oddball, the weird one, the one that just didnt quite fit in.

When I arrived here I started posting and I realized Im not as weird as I was thought to be. For the first time I realize that someone understands my story and understands my struggles and what I've dealt with.

Through this forum, Ive learned to embrace my deafness instead of hiding it. I've picked up ASL. Let me tell you for me it is so much easier to communicate visually rather than having to strain to lip-read and match the sounds with shape of the mouth only to realize that they dont want my game, they want my name.

Im glad you've come, now please stay and you call yourself whatever you feel most comfortable with. :)
 
Dixie said:
I am the same way. I am profoundly deaf in my left ear and HOH in my right ear. I grew up mainstreamed my entire life. I never knew about deaf communities let alone Deaf Culture. Growing up I was always the oddball, the weird one, the one that just didnt quite fit in.

When I arrived here I started posting and I realized Im not as weird as I was thought to be. For the first time I realize that someone understands my story and understands my struggles and what I've dealt with.

Through this forum, Ive learned to embrace my deafness instead of hiding it. I've picked up ASL. Let me tell you for me it is so much easier to communicate visually rather than having to strain to lip-read and match the sounds with shape of the mouth only to realize that they dont want my game, they want my name.

Im glad you've come, now please stay and you call yourself whatever you feel most comfortable with. :)
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:gpost: You're not the weird one, Dixie, those people are for not accepting you. And we're the better for having you here, which also goes for dWrite. :D
 
Yo, im HOH and i'm still PROUD to be DEAF.

Deaf Pride is what i live for my life.
 
I say call yourself what you like. I sometimes say I am deaf and sometimes say I am hoh but mostly I say I wear a couple of hearing aids. I enjoy not wearing them. I like the silence and am grateful to have the option of turning them off. I never wear them when i am driving, the wind noise among other noises drive me batty. And then I'll go shopping w/ them out and if I need to talk to anyone, I read their lips. If they talk to me and I am not looking, then they think I am a snob. Ah, well. I believe we have every right to turn them off when we want to because we CAN.

My mom and other people get mad at me when I react "inappropiately" because I didn't understand them in the first place. Other's think I am selectively hearing them when I, in fact, did not hear it right. I get in trouble a lot. What bugs me the most is that the hearing people can passively listen whereas deafies and hoh people can not do that. The only reason I did good in school was cuz I verified everything I heard was right!

Sorry, I am rambling....
 
Good rambling.

I hate the selective hearing accusation. A recent ex-friend wrote, "I realize you have selective hearing, so that's why I'm e-mailing. . . ." It was one of my girlfriend's relatives, who is currently bewildered by other relatives being down on her for "selective thinking."

More and more I'm learning to repeat what I think was said, even in social settings. It annoys some, but what the heck, if you don't understand, it annoys 'em, too.
 
I got a weird comment today at work - "You hear better with those headphones on, than you do without them."

HUH??

Yes I do listen to a iPod while Im at work (Im a line worker and Im surrounded by non-English speaking workers, no one to converse with.) BUT thing is I have to have it full blast or I have to strain to hear it.

After I got that comment I thought to myself - maybe I 'hear' better with my headphones on because then I tend to look up more often to see if anyone is wanting my attention???
 
I call myself both - usually I introduce myself as hh/D.

I'm profoundly deaf from birth on one side, and have hearing loss on my other side as well ... I wear a HA on my "hh" side. Because I grew up mainstreamed (without assistance) I also grew up isolated from Deaf Culture, from ASL, and from what it meant to have a Deaf Identity. It wasn't until I was 17 that I started formally learning ASL, and interacting with other HH/D people.

I personally think of myself (and have for many years) as Deaf (capital D), who happens to audiologically HH.
 
Deaf friends and hearing people insist that I can't be deaf, I must be "hoh" because my speech is very clear with no "hints" of a hearing loss, I have good lipreading skills and can interact "normally" ...whatever that means.

There are times when I need them to repeat themselves but not often. When their back is turned...forget it I am completely lost. I guess my only advantage is I am always "on guard" and very observant.

I am profoundly deaf in my right ear, 120db and can't wear a hearing aid. My left ear is also profound it ranges from 95db to 120dbs aided.

I personally feel that (D)eaf means you are very involved with the Deaf Culture regardless of the degree of hearing loss.

(d)eaf means that your hearing loss is severe (60 to 80 dB HL) or profound hearing loss (80 dB HL or greater).

and hoh is anyone with a mild hearing loss (20-40 dB HL) or moderate hearing loss (40-60 dB HL).

I am sure people will disagree with me though. Nothing is concrete because everyone's hearing loss is unique. I have a few friends that have mild or moderate hearing losses but speak very poorly and often misunderstand...so I'm not sure what would be an appropriate "label". With that being said I would have to agree with the others...it all comes down to what you prefer.
 
well...just like that one person said, call whatever you like for yourself, if that makes u feel comfortable.....and another one said about the hearies, just assumed that if you hear and speak pretty well they just keep on talking and then they say, oh thats right i forgot u got selective hearing.....sometimes that ticks me off, its not selective hearing, and i know they are just kidding, but i CANT hear EVERYTHING...i try to explain that to the hearies, but its hard for them to imagine if they cannot hear or partially hear its something to them thats incomprehensible....they are not there so they dont have any idea...which i totally understand....and i never did want to change myself to be able to hear better....mine is genetic, right ear is totally deaf i cannot hear out of that one, my left one i got 60 db....have always said....when im around deafies i say IM deaf....when im with hearies, i tell em im hoh...cuz if i say im deaf, they say you cant be deaf, cuz you can hear and speak...so in matter of speaking i leave it the way it is...
 
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