Grr!!

C

ClearSky

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Hi,

In the winter, there was this guy that wrote me a letter and gave it to me at work. I read it not really wanting to accept the letter. I really don't believe much in dating customers. Anyway, well, I later decided to write to him a P.O. Box because I don't know him, but he seemed nice. Anyway, well, he has a child, and I wrote to him. Well, he reveals that he's much older than I thought and has another child that's not even one year old. The story with his divorce and life is just weird. I didn't feel comfortable getting to know him further, so I told him nicely. I didn't want to go out at all until I knew if that person had potential for me or not.

Then, I don't see him for 2 whole months. Two days ago, I walked out of the back store to get a cart where customer's are not allowed to be in. Anyway, so I had this feeling that I'd notice someone I knew. There by the register he is waiting in line. I turned right back, and I don't know if he saw me turn back. I am just so agravated that he'd come back again to the store. I am sure he might be trying again to see if I'd change my mind. I don't want to change my mind. I have very different goals in my life, and I am not interested.

I know he has a right to go there, but how do I turn down his letters if he gives me one or even try to talk to me? Grrr!!! He even sent me flowers at work before I wrote to him when I didn't respond to him. I am not interested.
 
So what's the problem? He is shopping in your store. So? It's a free country.

I doubt he would say anything to you, as he got the message the first time. You don't need to think about it or anything, just let it go.
 
You're annoying. You're probably a man. I don't want to hear from you since you don't understand "the problem."

I already said that I knew he had a right to shop there, but he never showed up before when I began work, and he was never there for two whole months after I told him no. So, I doubt he's there to 'shop.' I'd like a more sympathetic reply of someone who understands this. You don't understand, so don't reply anything.
 
ClearSky said:
...I know he has a right to go there, but how do I turn down his letters if he gives me one or even try to talk to me? Grrr!!! He even sent me flowers at work before I wrote to him when I didn't respond to him. I am not interested.
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If he just shops there, just speak to him the same way you do all the other customers. Nothing more, nothing less. If he hassles you at work, call your supervisor. If he tries to hand you a note, don't even touch it. If he leaves a letter on the counter, sweep it up like trash. Don't open it. If he sends flowers, don't accept delivery. If the flowers are left at the store for you, give them to another employee (maybe an elderly lady). Do NOT take them home.

Do NOT show acceptance of anything from him. Do NOT go alone anywhere (especially behind the store) with him.

If he shows up any place that customers are not allowed, call your manager or security and report him just like you would report any stranger who is in the wrong place.

Don't feel guilty if you must be strict with him. He's a big boy, and he'll get over it. If not, then that means there is definitely something wrong with him, and you really, really, don't want to associate with him.
 
Reba said:
If he just shops there, just speak to him the same way you do all the other customers. Nothing more, nothing less. If he hassles you at work, call your supervisor. If he tries to hand you a note, don't even touch it. If he leaves a letter on the counter, sweep it up like trash. Don't open it. If he sends flowers, don't accept delivery. If the flowers are left at the store for you, give them to another employee (maybe an elderly lady). Do NOT take them home.

Do NOT show acceptance of anything from him. Do NOT go alone anywhere (especially behind the store) with him.

If he shows up any place that customers are not allowed, call your manager or security and report him just like you would report any stranger who is in the wrong place.

Don't feel guilty if you must be strict with him. He's a big boy, and he'll get over it. If not, then that means there is definitely something wrong with him, and you really, really, don't want to associate with him.
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i second that
 
Reba said:
If he just shops there, just speak to him the same way you do all the other customers. Nothing more, nothing less. If he hassles you at work, call your supervisor. If he tries to hand you a note, don't even touch it. If he leaves a letter on the counter, sweep it up like trash. Don't open it. If he sends flowers, don't accept delivery. If the flowers are left at the store for you, give them to another employee (maybe an elderly lady). Do NOT take them home.

Do NOT show acceptance of anything from him. Do NOT go alone anywhere (especially behind the store) with him.

If he shows up any place that customers are not allowed, call your manager or security and report him just like you would report any stranger who is in the wrong place.

Don't feel guilty if you must be strict with him. He's a big boy, and he'll get over it. If not, then that means there is definitely something wrong with him, and you really, really, don't want to associate with him.
Click to expand...

I third that :)
 
If he shows up any place that customers are not allowed, call your manager or security and report him just like you would report any stranger who is in the wrong place.

Here's the big problem! You should contact the store manager or security
without hestitation.
 
Thank you so much for your response. I'll keep those in mind. The flowers before was given to the manager, and she asked, "do you have a secret admirer?" when I was working at the register with a frequent customer. I told her to leave it in the office, and that I'd look at who it was from. I did, but I never said who it was from. That was weird because the flowers just come in without your approval. Thanks for your advices!
 
ClearSky said:
Would it be bad if I said that I have a boyfriend?
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Why the head game? Simply say "I mean NO! Not interested!"
Because if anything happens when the police are involved, you can say
"I said NO!" and here is where the law is on your side.
 
ClearSky said:
Would it be bad if I said that I have a boyfriend?
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There is no need to say or explain anything to him except, "Sorry, I'm not interested in any social contact with you." Period.
 
Reba said:
There is no need to say or explain anything to him except, "Sorry, I'm not interested in any social contact with you." Period.
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I agree. It's best to say that you are not interested. Making up boyfirend stories or anyother excuses will just make it worse. Simply telling him the truth is the right thing to do.
 
Or Talk to your boss and explain the situation and see what your boss's advice is
 
ClearSky said:
You're annoying. You're probably a man. I don't want to hear from you since you don't understand "the problem."

I already said that I knew he had a right to shop there, but he never showed up before when I began work, and he was never there for two whole months after I told him no. So, I doubt he's there to 'shop.' I'd like a more sympathetic reply of someone who understands this. You don't understand, so don't reply anything.
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:roll:Oh really? You explained enough, like a typical woman that says one thing and means another. What part of 'no' don't you understand, dear? I don't give sympathy . . . never have to a broad, never will, especially when they want sympathy.:smoking:

If you wanted sympathy, you should have asked for it. What do you think we are around here, a bunch of mindreaders?
 
Thank you to everyone.

To pek1, I don't even know what you mean or care to figure out. Don't bother, pek1.
 
pek1 said:
:roll:

If you wanted sympathy, you should have asked for it. What do you think we are around here, a bunch of mindreaders?
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Oh really? You explained enough, like a typical woman that says one thing and means another.
Click to expand...

I don't know what she was expecting, but I'm guessing she was looking for advice, not abuse from someone who is out of touch with emotions in general, not just "typical woman/broad" emotions.

And yes dear, if it does become harassment, you can have him banned from the store. Talk to your supervisor or manager.
 
Thank you. Yes, I was looking for a real advice. I don't want to know him at all further. I wanted to know what exactly to do.

My manager is a good manager. She will tell someone off if they do anything to any employee. She knows who are just being ridiculous customers. We are all good employees. If it's the employee's problem, she knows how to pinpoint who is at fault and take care of it. She will and has banned out customers that create repeated problems that are illegal in the store.
 
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