Grandparents/Family

ASLMommax2 said:
Apparently I owe an apology to everyone whos nerve this post has hit.......out of total frustration of having to beg, becoming the bitch is literally the only option. Frustration of having to explain to a 15yo why her grandparents aren't intersted in learning ASL for her sake, and now her sisters as well, Frustrated at all the missed opportunities on their part of being fluent with in my daughters language and frustration in which my only object of being a bitch is a faltering one. Caring to much has obviously gotten in the way of something in which I pray they have the dececny of knowing how much we have fought for our every step and having to beg on THEIR behalf shouldn't be at the top of my list of objectives.
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completely understandable but I still think you're overreacting. I think you shouldn't "ban" them from your house simply because your in-law parents have no interest in learning ASL. It's just the way life is. 98% of my relatives don't speak English so I'm not able to communicate with them. I mostly communicate with cousins and couple of aunts. Sad but oh well...

I love my grandma to death even though she can't speak English but love's there. Banishing grandparents from your house because they're lazy to learn ASL is... well... just not worth brewing up a bad blood between families. One day - you'll need their help for whatever in case your parents aren't available so... Just give it some time and just maybe... one day - they'll find a strong reason to learn it.

ASLMommax2 said:
Theres no control freak tendencies here, just a regular Mom who wants her children lives to be completely full filled by the ones that love them the most. again I apologize........last post for me! :(
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oh please don't say that. we all feel your pain and we know how you feel. it's the same frustration that we deal with.
 
I must remember to let my daughter know how much I love her for not banning me from her home just because her children can't understand my speech.

Somehow we manage to have lots of fun and interact anyway.

That's my granddaughter there learning sign from me.

It would be a knife in my heart for family to reject me for lack of language fluency.
 
Bottesini said:
I must remember to let my daughter know how much I love her for not banning me from her home just because her children can't understand my speech.

Somehow we manage to have lots of fun and interact anyway.

That's my granddaughter there learning sign from me.

It would be a knife in my heart for family to reject me for lack of language fluency.
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:hug:

btw - is that your granddaughter in your avatar?
 
Your grandchildren are lucky to have you, too, Bott.:aw:
 
Almost nobody in my family has learned ASL for my deaf brother. There were times when my brother wanted to cut ties with them for not willing to learn so he just goes to less family events rather than cutting ties.

Hope everything works out. :hug:
 
The really great thing about grandchildren is that you're not reponsible for making them do things that they don't like. While parents are unreasonable ogers to teens, grandparents keep their cool. :D
 
I remembered when I was a child living with my hearing grandparents. I found myself not being able to communicate with my grandmother. Over the years we never communicated. I never get to know her at all. I saw her being around in their house and where I saw her every now and then. She was a good person but not much to communicated at all. Funny with my grandfather, I was very attached to him and he would be acting like a child himself. He loved toys to play and he did the mime kind of thing with me to communicate with me. I really liked that. He does not know ASL or sign language. He was having fun with me. He taught me some things like how to shoot with a rifle for hunting someday like my Mom. He was the only one I can actually communicated with mime thing. He knew I had trouble not understand what is being said. He taught me to fish, to care for animals and other interesting things around their cabin home. They were backwood people living in the bush.

On the other hand, my mother was totally different and so was my father. They would rather have me speak than sign. They would not learn to sign ASL for me. There are just some people, even older people could not change unless if there was a interest without bashing or coaxing them to learn to sign for the deaf children in a different way. I think I like the idea of playing the game with signs to help them understand how to communicate with deaf children. It could work. :hmm:
 
When I was a child, we spent time every summer with my Italian step-grandpa and my grandmother. My grandmother could speak some English, but Papa couldn't speak anything but Italian.

We managed to communicate, through smiles, hugs, gestures, and play. He died before I was six, so I didn't really know him well, but he was the only grandfather I ever had, and I loved him.

I would have been heartbroken if anyone in the family had said "no, you can't spend time with Papa and Nonna because you don't speak their language" or vice versa, "they can't spend time with you because they don't speak YOUR language."

The very idea of that would have been incomprehensible. We spoke the language of love together, and that was enough.

To the OP: please, please re-think what you're doing. Kids and grandparents have such an affinity, regardless of language barriers, it would be cruel to ban the grandparents from your home. They won't be around forever. Let them work out their own relationship. After all, the more the grandparents see the kids, perhaps the more motivation they might have to learn at least a little bit of ASL.

If they are banned from your home for not being "good enough," what is that teaching your kids? That it's ok to ban people for having a language barrier? You wouldn't want your kids to be banned under similar circumstances, so think about what you are teaching them with this.
 
Looks like the OP was true to her word (to stop posting). I find it strange and a bit unsettling the number of people that come onto this forum and find out the Deaf community will not conform to their ideals. Why, Why, Why come here if you have no interest in learning and possibly changing. Maybe we should "respect" her wishes and just lock this thread?
 
A lot of people here show up expecting pity.

I don't think that the mods lock a thread unless the OP requests it (or it gets outahand)
 
sallylou said:
A lot of people here show up expecting pity.

I don't think that the mods lock a thread unless the OP requests it (or it gets outahand)
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I know. My comment about locking the thread was more exasperation than anything. I don't really want to lock people out of discussing something especially one as important as the topic brought up by the OP.
 
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