Getting over the "handicap" classification....

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MystyqueOne

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I'm in nursing school and I have clinical orientations that I must do twice a week. Lately, I have chosen not to wear my aids for purposes of using my stethoscope (I can hear everything through the stethoscope without the use of my aids). Back when I was doing clinicals for my CNA (Nurse Assistant) course (before nursing school), I would be orientated by a nurse on the floor of the hospital. At first, the nurse would speak to me like any other person, laughing and joking. I am required to have my hair either pulled up or pulled back. I choose to have my hair pulled up, which leaves my aids exposed to the person next to me. So, this nurse, at one point, was in the perfect position to notice me wearing my aids, and yes, I noticed the nurse looking at my aids (they are nurses, so they are trained to be very observant). I have to tell you that after that point, this nurse has not said much of a word towards me. I would try to let it brush off my shoulder, thinking that maybe it was just me "thinking" that this nurse didn't have much to say anymore, but I soon realized that this nurse did, in fact, change their ways of speaking to me. I would ask a question, and this nurse would not answer me until they were standing right in front of me and at a higher tone. Why, in God's Name did this nurse feel that just because I was wearing hearing aids, that they needed to stand in front of me and speak louder? I'm not deaf!!! And, heck, isn't that why I'm wearing the aids? So... YOU don't have to change your ways???

I have learned in life that I do not let people know about my hearing loss until after they have gotten to know me well. (I have a cookie-bite loss, so I can get away with people thinking I have an accent.) I then tell my friends about my hearing loss and they don't change, thereafter. It's the people that don't know me well that seem to change when they are aware of my hearing loss, and that aggravates me!

Why do people tend to automatically stereotype people and place us into that "handicap" category? I always thought that it was just my way of thinking, because I'm still a bit shy about it, but after that incident during my clinicals, I realize it's others that need to "grow up". Maybe that's why I am shy about my hearing loss? Maybe it's because I've been around too many people during my life time to realize that there are too many of those that classify people into categories that are not what they consider "normal". It's sad to say, but I firmly believe it's somewhat of a truth!

This is just a brief story of mine I wanted to share.
 
:welcome: to AllDeaf forum. You are not the only one that feel like an outcast when someone notice that you are wearing hearing aids. Everyone had to go through with the discrimination from the hearing people who does not understand anything about our hearing loss or deafness. We had to struggle trying to teach hearing people about our deafness. Like for example, I was surprised that the surgeon told me to keep my hearing aid on but to take my eyeglasses off when I go into the operating room. I was going to tell the surgeon that I don't use my hearing aid if I had to fell asleep. But the thing is I don't want to argue with him if I protest over my wearing the hearing aid in the operating room. When I woke up in the hospital room, I still wore my hearing aid. I took it off before I fell asleep at night. Doctors and nurses don't really understand anything about deafness at all. I am sorry that you had to go through with the nurse looking at your hearing aids and had to stood in front of you and shout to you so that you can hear her. I find it rather weird in the hospital setting. :hmm:
 
It is what it is. They are who they are. In many ways you are now on a journey to self discovery.

My hearing loss is progressive and once upon a time I saw what you saw and thought as you thought. Think of it this way, the only visible cue to hearing loss is the presence of the aides, how can even a trained observer (as you and you coworkers obviously are) know the extent of the loss?

Since there exists a social wall that prevents asking for the extent (don't ask me why this exists I just know it does) the burden then rests with us to communicate and educate those around of that extent and the need or inappropriateness of additional measures.

Or you can do as you are planning to do and continue to limit your interactions with the outside world. These are the choices that define us.

I did do the same thing for pretty much the same reasons, the same perceptions. Looking back now I feel I made a mistake.

Each person you come in contact with is a chance to open minds and let others know that there are differences in how deeply a hearing loss is and how much or little extra effort is needed to communicate.

After learning how to open up a little bit and share with others about my deafness and some of my experience and trying to understand their perspective, I ended up with a different conclusion than I had those years ago.

For the most part we have cookie cutter training in dealing with deafness and hearing impairments sort of a one size fits all deal. Isn't it unreasonable then, to expect others to know instinctively what the needs really are?
 
Sorry about that. I went through the same thing...befriend hearing people and they chat with me like I am just one of them until they find out that I am deaf...they change.

You arent the only one.
 
Yeah - welcome to life in the hard of hearing and deaf lane.
 
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