*gasps* your parents reaction....

#22

KristinaB said:
Basically, as my father had a hearing loss, when it came to me, it was "oh well - another one in the family", so I was treated like I was hearing and had no problems. Now that I am total deaf and my mother has her dementia issues, she doesn't understand at all. She can't remember to not talk to me from the other room, or will wait until my back is turned before saying something. I know it's her cognitive processes that are doing this, but it's still bothersome. MIL is in total denial and thinks I am faking. My kids are behind me and do what they can short of learning ASL. My brothers both have it in their head that I am emotionally stronger than them and can handle this, but give me any support they can do long distance.
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KristinaB wins this topic. :thumb:
 
melissa said:
My mum was surprised as she hadn't noticed any problem with me when I was at home, before I started school. I'm an only child so there was probably a lot of one-to-one interaction between me and my parents. I had a nasty teacher at infant school who just thought I was ignoring her. I was 6 when I got a..headphones attached to a box..then later, hearing aids. All I remember is that the aids made everything loud, I don't remember feeling like I couldn't hear people at all, before I got them.
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Headphones attached to a box....was that the phonic ear.....Oh God I used to hate that myself....that beige instrument!! LOL Sorry your experience turned out slightly negative in school but either way we prevailed!!!!
 
deafdyke said:
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It varies. It USED to be that way.....but CIs are getting more and more accepted. They're still not accepted TOTALLY, and completely (the way hearing aids are)
I think a lot of people mix up the Deaf community not accepting CIs, with the acceptance issues that some AG Bellers have experianced. Ag Bellers think that the Deaf community does not accept orally skilled people. That is not quite right. The Deaf community accepts orally skilled people. Many of us grew up oral, and discovered ASL late....there are still lots of dhh kids who discover ASL as teens. However, if you're oral and you act like you're better then Deaf people who use Sign or you think you're better educated then Deafies, you will be ostracized. However, if you go in with the attitude that " I really wanna learn ASL and be exposed to Deaf culture...it wasn't MY choice to be oral." you'll generally be accepted.
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Ahhhhh, now I see...
 
donotfeed, all I can remember is that it was a black box with spongy headband type headphones attached. Later I had a smaller beige box (FM radio aid) attached to my hearing aids, then a longer rectangular black one with a little flicky switch/red lights when it was on or off.
 
donotfeedbsugar said:
Headphones attached to a box....was that the phonic ear.....Oh God I used to hate that myself....that beige instrument!! LOL Sorry your experience turned out slightly negative in school but either way we prevailed!!!!
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Ha ha. I remember that. I remember in my first grade class, all the kids had to wear headphones. God, we hated that.

I didn't like wearing the phonic ear cuz it made me stand out.
 
as far as the title goes "gasp, your parents' reaction" ... i think for most, if not just about all of us, there is no "gasp" here ... most parents have that initial instinct that there's something up with their child.

In my case .. my pediatrician humored my parents for a while by telling them I was most likely slow or mentally retarded. A hearing test pretty much resolved that question.

Anyways, I think most parents are not surprised to learn that something is different about their child. Parental instinct kicks in, as seems evident from all the posts above mine.
 
melissa said:
donotfeed, all I can remember is that it was a black box with spongy headband type headphones attached. Later I had a smaller beige box (FM radio aid) attached to my hearing aids, then a longer rectangular black one with a little flicky switch/red lights when it was on or off.
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Hey Melissa, I think after the phonic ear that I had, I had the more modern aid where you wear it around your waist and it was smaller....did you have that @smaller beige box (fm radio aid) I don't think I had lights on mines.

Oh but I do recall, that I always had to have the teacher mic to give to the teacher. Ugh, that was just too much but anything to allow me to understand what's going on in class.
 
AlleyCat said:
as far as the title goes "gasp, your parents' reaction" ... i think for most, if not just about all of us, there is no "gasp" here ... most parents have that initial instinct that there's something up with their child.

In my case .. my pediatrician humored my parents for a while by telling them I was most likely slow or mentally retarded. A hearing test pretty much resolved that question.

Anyways, I think most parents are not surprised to learn that something is different about their child. Parental instinct kicks in, as seems evident from all the posts above mine.
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LOL yeah@gasp. It was more to attract to the thread rather than the real GASP of it all.
 
deafskeptic said:
Ha ha. I remember that. I remember in my first grade class, all the kids had to wear headphones. God, we hated that.

I didn't like wearing the phonic ear cuz it made me stand out.
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I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!@Stand out!!! It especially made me stand out becuase they would always take my ear mold out of my hearing and attach or try to attach it to the phonic ear. MIND YOU...while in class I'm listening to the teacher and it's making a whistling noise that I didn't even hear...lol...annoyed the kids and teacher with a passion and kept pushing it in or adjusting it. Hey, I was a kid...what could I do!!!??
 
all I can remember is that it was a black box with spongy headband type headphones attached. Later I had a smaller beige box (FM radio aid) attached to my hearing aids, then a longer rectangular black one with a little flicky switch/red lights when it was on or off.
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Were those the ones with the harness? I HATED HATED HATED those.....and oh gawd my parents and I had screaming matches in high school over me using it.
I have a " you know you're a deaf adult when" list somewhere, and one of them is " you know you're a deaf adult when you remember wearing the FM device with those oh so sexy harnesses.
 
deafdyke and donotfeed, I don't remember a harness but I remember very little about it. I think I had it round my waist or in a pouch. As far as I know it was just headphones with a microphone for the teacher, not tailored to any hearing loss.

The beige box was rectangular and smaller, and it had a small blue or yellow 'chip' that was a plastic square with 2 prongs coming out it, that clicked into the corner of the box- you had to change the colour depending on which microphone the teacher used.

Ooh yes, as I only got my aids when I was 7, it took me a few years to learn how to put them in and take them out, I remember aged 9 taking them out to attach the lead from the FM and getting whistling. I hated it cos I couldn't hear the other kids, only the teacher.

After that I had a black FM- I think it was Connevans- it was rectangular and quite long, in a pouch- I had to give the teacher the microphone which was the same size. A red light used to come on when it was working, I think. It just had a switch to change 'channels' to listen to other microphones. I hated them with a passion, if I moved my head too much then the cords got ripped out! Hated when we had to watch tv and they put it next to the tv cos all I heard was mmmrhhhfzzzzzcrackle.

To recap, my parents reactions were 'Oh' as they said I was fine at home- I don't remember feeling like I couldn't hear.
 
deafdyke said:
Were those the ones with the harness? I HATED HATED HATED those.....and oh gawd my parents and I had screaming matches in high school over me using it.
I have a " you know you're a deaf adult when" list somewhere, and one of them is " you know you're a deaf adult when you remember wearing the FM device with those oh so sexy harnesses.
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lmfao@OH SO SEXY HARNESS!!!! I want to see that list!!!
 
melissa said:
deafdyke and donotfeed, I don't remember a harness but I remember very little about it. I think I had it round my waist or in a pouch. As far as I know it was just headphones with a microphone for the teacher, not tailored to any hearing loss.

The beige box was rectangular and smaller, and it had a small blue or yellow 'chip' that was a plastic square with 2 prongs coming out it, that clicked into the corner of the box- you had to change the colour depending on which microphone the teacher used.

Ooh yes, as I only got my aids when I was 7, it took me a few years to learn how to put them in and take them out, I remember aged 9 taking them out to attach the lead from the FM and getting whistling. I hated it cos I couldn't hear the other kids, only the teacher.

After that I had a black FM- I think it was Connevans- it was rectangular and quite long, in a pouch- I had to give the teacher the microphone which was the same size. A red light used to come on when it was working, I think. It just had a switch to change 'channels' to listen to other microphones. I hated them with a passion, if I moved my head too much then the cords got ripped out! Hated when we had to watch tv and they put it next to the tv cos all I heard was mmmrhhhfzzzzzcrackle.

To recap, my parents reactions were 'Oh' as they said I was fine at home- I don't remember feeling like I couldn't hear.
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I WAS THE SAME WAY with my phonic ear....moving around too much would lead to the cord to my aid popping out also popping my ears too....argh hated it.....I also hated when other hoh or deaf children would be funny about it and poke your hearing aid like it was a big joke....I'm like that's supposed to be funny...lol
 
My parents have actually said that I'm "faking" my hearing loss to get attention-- I guess because the hearing difficulties didn't surface until I was an adult. That being said, they're great people, and always raised me to be a independent person, so I'm grateful for that.

Like all people they have their good points and bad ones. :roll:

Laura
 
I became hh when I was 15. My parents did not accept it, and still don't, I am 22 now. They didn't want me to learn sign but I did. They refuse to learn sign, even though I can talk still sign is WAY easier, maybe someday they will accept me... :(
 
hardofhearing87 said:
I became hh when I was 15. My parents did not accept it, and still don't, I am 22 now. They didn't want me to learn sign but I did. They refuse to learn sign, even though I can talk still sign is WAY easier, maybe someday they will accept me... :(
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Even if they don't, I know there are plenty of people here and offline that will accept you. But I know it sucks when someone like your own parents don't believe or accept a vital part of who you are.

Remember, it's tough on them too. Suddenly, according to society, their "perfect baby" isn't so perfect anymore, and some don't quite know how to handle it. In time they might, but there is always the chance that they won't.

I, for one, know that my parents will never accept the fact that I am hoh. It simply doesn't fit into their worldview, so it doesn't exist for them. So, I've surrounded myself with people who do accept reality, and have developed a good support system without my parents. Would I rather have them in my reality? Of course. However, forcing someone to face an unwanted reality is like herding a bunch of coyotes. Not exactly easy. :lol:
 
laurabeth said:
Even if they don't, I know there are plenty of people here and offline that will accept you. But I know it sucks when someone like your own parents don't believe or accept a vital part of who you are.

Remember, it's tough on them too. Suddenly, according to society, their "perfect baby" isn't so perfect anymore, and some don't quite know how to handle it. In time they might, but there is always the chance that they won't.

I, for one, know that my parents will never accept the fact that I am hoh. It simply doesn't fit into their worldview, so it doesn't exist for them. So, I've surrounded myself with people who do accept reality, and have developed a good support system without my parents. Would I rather have them in my reality? Of course. However, forcing someone to face an unwanted reality is like herding a bunch of coyotes. Not exactly easy. :lol:
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I know that it is tough on them... and while I am not happy with their reaction, I understand it. I have jumped head first into the deaf community and am looking forward to august when I move into the deaf dorms at cal state northridge. I have been accepted and welcomed by every person I have met in the deaf community and can't wait to be involved at CSUN.
 
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