Funeral Debate

Jiro said:
the thing is - what if it's a regular family guy who enjoys riding on weekend and the family especially wife's not too keen about it because "motorcycle = death" mindset.

then one day... such a tragic day... he was killed.

wouldn't you feel "socially awkward" to ride to funeral?
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Yep.

If you know what the dead person wants, defer to the deceased's wishes.

The question is.... if you don't know if that's what the deceased wants, do you go with:
1) What you THINK the dead person may want?
2) What the family/spouse wants?
2) What you want (NOOOO!!! NOOOOO!!! WRONG ANSWER!!!)
 
Jiro said:
the thing is - what if it's a regular family guy who enjoys riding on weekend and the family especially wife's not too keen about it because "motorcycle = death" mindset.

then one day... such a tragic day... he was killed.

wouldn't you feel "socially awkward" to ride to funeral?
Click to expand...

The funeral is to honor the deceased. If it was his wish, then it needs to be attended to. The survivors need to deal with their own issues, not run and hide from them. They will encounter bikes on the street every day of their lives. They need to get help to change that mind set and deal with their grief.
 
You know, I can relay a personal experience on this one. My brother did not die in a bike wreck, but he was a member of a motorcycle club and had been since he was 18 years of age. When he died, his brothers all showed up in leathers and on their bikes, with colors blazing. They placed a pocket knife in the casket because my brother always had a pocketknife with him, and they placed a beer in the casket; same brand my brother always drank.

His wife was not real receptive to this, but hey, that's who my brother was. She had only been married to him for the past 5 years...these guys had been as close as family for 40 years. How did I feel about it? I arrived on the back of his closest friend's Harley, and that is the way I got to the gravesite, as well. That is the way my brother would have wanted it. He was who he was, like it or not.
 
jillio said:
You know, I can relay a personal experience on this one. My brother did not die in a bike wreck, but he was a member of a motorcycle club and had been since he was 18 years of age. When he died, his brothers all showed up in leathers and on their bikes, with colors blazing. They placed a pocket knife in the casket because my brother always had a pocketknife with him, and they placed a beer in the casket; same brand my brother always drank.

His wife was not real receptive to this, but hey, that's who my brother was. She had only been married to him for the past 5 years...these guys had been as close as family for 40 years. How did I feel about it? I arrived on the back of his closest friend's Harley, and that is the way I got to the gravesite, as well. That is the way my brother would have wanted it. He was who he was, like it or not.
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I think that's a proper way to give homage to someone who has passed on. I can see myself doing something similar for my BIL, my little sister and my oldest nephew. They're all into motorcycles.
 
Jiro said:
the thing is - what if it's a regular family guy who enjoys riding on weekend and the family especially wife's not too keen about it because "motorcycle = death" mindset.

then one day... such a tragic day... he was killed.

wouldn't you feel "socially awkward" to ride to funeral?
Click to expand...
Maybe.

But funerals are not all about one person's or family's mindset. Sure, that is important, but so are the other people in the life of the deceased.

Obviously, riding was an important element in that person's life. And while the family might not have been overjoyed with that choice, there comes a time when differences could be set aside. Live and let live. We are all presumably adults here and understand the risks.
 
jillio said:
The funeral is to honor the deceased. If it was his wish, then it needs to be attended to. The survivors need to deal with their own issues, not run and hide from them. They will encounter bikes on the street every day of their lives. They need to get help to change that mind set and deal with their grief.
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true but.... funeral's not the place to cause a ruckus like that :lol:
 
jillio said:
You know, I can relay a personal experience on this one. My brother did not die in a bike wreck, but he was a member of a motorcycle club and had been since he was 18 years of age. When he died, his brothers all showed up in leathers and on their bikes, with colors blazing. They placed a pocket knife in the casket because my brother always had a pocketknife with him, and they placed a beer in the casket; same brand my brother always drank.

His wife was not real receptive to this, but hey, that's who my brother was. She had only been married to him for the past 5 years...these guys had been as close as family for 40 years. How did I feel about it? I arrived on the back of his closest friend's Harley, and that is the way I got to the gravesite, as well. That is the way my brother would have wanted it. He was who he was, like it or not.
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*happy tear*

that's the way I'd like my funeral to be... with me inside the urn... carried by a fellow rider :lol:
 
Jiro said:
the thing is - what if it's a regular family guy who enjoys riding on weekend and the family especially wife's not too keen about it because "motorcycle = death" mindset.

then one day... such a tragic day... he was killed.

wouldn't you feel "socially awkward" to ride to funeral?
Click to expand...
If you feel awkward, don't do it.
 
Beowulf said:
In my funeral procession I want all the cars to break down at the same time. Miles and miles of it.
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I was riding in a long funeral procession once when the engine of one of the police escort cars blew up. You would have enjoyed that. :giggle:
 
jillio said:
The funeral is to honor the deceased. If it was his wish, then it needs to be attended to. The survivors need to deal with their own issues, not run and hide from them. They will encounter bikes on the street every day of their lives. They need to get help to change that mind set and deal with their grief.
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First, the deceased had to make his wishes known, preferably putting them in writing.

Secondly, it's great to honor the wishes of the deceased as much as possible but the feelings of the survivors should also be respected. When groups such as PGR, Red Knights (fire fighters), Blue Knights (police), VFW riders (military veterans), etc., participate in funerals and memorials, they always respect the wishes of the surviving family. No one wants to cause more upset at a funeral than is already present.

Yes, survivors can get counseling but funerals are usually held within just a few days of the death.
 
when I die, just bury me in a burlap sack in the middle of a forest so no one can build a mini mall over me.
 
Jiro said:
true but.... funeral's not the place to cause a ruckus like that :lol:
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Who was causing the ruckus? The family members who disapproved of mourner arriving on motorcycles? No, they should have respected the mourners right to honor their friend.
 
Reba said:
First, the deceased had to make his wishes known, preferably putting them in writing.

Secondly, it's great to honor the wishes of the deceased as much as possible but the feelings of the survivors should also be respected. When groups such as PGR, Red Knights (fire fighters), Blue Knights (police), VFW riders (military veterans), etc., participate in funerals and memorials, they always respect the wishes of the surviving family. No one wants to cause more upset at a funeral than is already present.

Yes, survivors can get counseling but funerals are usually held within just a few days of the death.
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Yes, the wishes of the survivors should be respected. And if a survivor wants to show up on a motorcycle and in leathers because that was the nature of the relationship between them and the deceased, it should be respected.
 
jillio said:
Yes, the wishes of the survivors should be respected. And if a survivor wants to show up on a motorcycle and in leathers because that was the nature of the relationship between them and the deceased, it should be respected.
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If that is the desire of the deceased and the surviving family members then there is no conflict, no problem. :)
 
Reba said:
If that is the desire of the deceased and the surviving family members then there is no conflict, no problem. :)
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Personally, I believe that the family members should be grateful that their son was well liked enough that people showed up at the funeral, no matter what vehicle they arrived on or how they were dressed.
 
jillio said:
Personally, I believe that the family members should be grateful that their son was well liked enough that people showed up at the funeral, no matter what vehicle they arrived on or how they were dressed.
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Oh gosh..nothing worse that nobody showing up for your own funeral. That would be worse than motorcycles at a funeral!
 
jillio said:
Personally, I believe that the family members should be grateful that their son was well liked enough that people showed up at the funeral, no matter what vehicle they arrived on or how they were dressed.
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If someone cares enough for the deceased and survivors they'll show up for the funeral regardless of inconveniences. It's very touching to see.
 
Reba said:
If someone cares enough for the deceased and survivors they'll show up for the funeral regardless of inconveniences. It's very touching to see.
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I think Jillio's point was that instead of being nitpicky...be grateful that their loved ones was dearly loved by many people.
 
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