Four teens in custody for NY Rape

[DeafDucky]

One of my online friends is Jewish. I've asked her in the past what certain things mean or how things are done with the Jewish faith and she has been open on what Jewish people observe (notably her mom's death and how it's observed) but she has never minded me (or many of her other friends saying Merry Christmas to her. I've always appreciated learning about others' faiths/nationality/whatever is unique about them and always try to remember things like saying Happy Hanukkah etc. I can see how something like a phrase like "Have a good Christmas" can be interpreted. Some folks don't mind as they take it to mean "Have a good holiday" anyway. To each their own.

It's always a learning experience for me and I like learning

 

[Reba]

It's good that your family was more open-minded, Reba.

Yes, that was a blessing. Most of my family were non-judgmental and kind. (My dad was the exception--he was equally rude to everyone, including our own ethnicity.)

During the 60's we were poor. My mom was divorced, minimum wage earner, no car, we rented inner city apartments in low-rent areas, wore hand-me-downs--all that great "character-building" stuff.

An acquaintance of mine and I were talking one day and it was around the Dec. holiday time. She asked - so what are you doing for Christmas - and I said, I'm not Christian, I'm a Jew - and she's like - well I never knew what Jewish people do for Christmas- and I explained a little <the other part of this is, the decision always to explain or not, how much, what do you say...sometimes it's easier than others>
She then thanked me for telling me more about what "they" <jewish people> do. sigh.
So then I asked her what she was doing for the holidays and she described.

Then she either said - have a good Christmas - or something about my involvement with Christmas, and I said again that I don't observe/celebrate Christmas.

I guess that was another blessing for me to grow up in diverse neighborhoods. Before I became a teen I already had friends that were Jewish, Catholic, black, Italian, Greek, etc.

I also read a lot when I was a kid/teen, and much of what I read was about people of different cultures and backgrounds--a diverse reading list, if you will.

That's a minor thing compared to what people of color face but when that type of thing happens all the time, it gets old. And it can all be said <by the other person> in the cheeriest most pleasant way possible.

They need more exposure and an open-mind for learning. (When I use the term "open-mind" I mean willing to learn about and consider new ideas but not necessarily accepting all new ideas--not all new ideas are good.)

It's almost <remember I qualified it> easier to deal with true hatred, as when the Neo-Nazis came to town here about 5 years ago.

It is more obvious, yes.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Did she say it in a mean or condescending way? Or was she merely stating a fact?

When we lived in Wisconsin for a short time, my daughter was in middle school. One of her new classmates asked what her religion was. She said, "Baptist." The classmate asked, "Is that Lutheran Baptist or Catholic Baptist?" They had never before met a Baptist. My daughter wasn't offended. She just thought it was weird.

The way she said made me feel that I just landed from a spaceship , that she expected me to look difference from other people. She may had not knew anyone Jewish but is sure doesn't mean she never seen a Jewish person before. We do the same thing everyone else does eat out going shopping. Of course you know this. She said she 'never seen' a Jewish person before so this meant to me she expected us to look difference . Some people believed Jewish people look very difference than other people .

 

[Reba]

The way she said made me feel that I just landed from a spaceship , that she expected me to look difference from other people. She may had not knew anyone Jewish but is sure doesn't mean she never seen a Jewish person before. We do the same thing everyone else does eat out going shopping. Of course you know this. She said she 'never seen' a Jewish person before so this meant to me she expected us to look difference . Some people believed Jewish people look very difference than other people .

Jewish people can come in a variety of "looks." The largest traditional groups are Ashkenazi and Sephardi but Jewish people can be of any ethnicity. Also, depending on which branch of the religion they follow, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, or Reconstructionist, that can be a different "look" because they wear special clothing or hairstyles. There's not a "one-size-fits-all" Jewish person, especially in America.

I guess there are still some communities in America where Jewish people are "rare" but most people should at least have some familiarity with them from reading or viewing TV shows and movies. After all, this is "The Information Age."

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Jewish people can come in a variety of "looks." The largest traditional groups are Ashkenazi and Sephardi but Jewish people can be of any ethnicity. Also, depending on which branch of the religion they follow, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, or Reconstructionist, that can be a different "look" because they wear special clothing or hairstyles. There's not a "one-size-fits-all" Jewish person, especially in America.

I guess there are still some communities in America where Jewish people are "rare" but most people should at least have some familiarity with them from reading or viewing TV shows and movies. After all, this is "The Information Age."

Reba , I am very aware of this , my point was the girl very well could had seen some Jewish people in Maine but she was expecting us to look 'difference' and act difference than other people. This not about Jewish people being rare it about what the girl expected me to look like .
I had posted that people in the town I grew up tired to stop a temple from being build . There was a fear that once there was a Jewish temple more of
'us' would move in and there goes the neighborhood . A neighbor kept it hidden that she was Jewish and didn't even tell her kids until they were grown up.

 

[Reba]

Reba , I am very aware of this , my point was the girl very well could had seen some Jewish people in Maine but she was expecting us to look 'difference' and act difference than other people. This not about Jewish people being rare it about what the girl expected me to look like .

I know that you are aware. I was just trying to give reasons why she might have had different expectations. I got the impression that she didn't personally know any other Jewish people until she met you. If I got that wrong, I apologize.

In that case, I have no clue what she would expect you to look like.

[quote[I had posted that people in the town I grew up tired to stop a temple from being build . There was a fear that once there was a Jewish temple more of 'us' would move in and there goes the neighborhood . [/quote]
Ignorant people.

A neighbor kept it hidden that she was Jewish and didn't even tell her kids until they were grown up.

I know some people tried to "pass" as Gentile, especially Hollywood people who changed their names to seem less ethnic. That's very sad.

 

[dogmom]

I read a lot too, as a teen, Reba, and went to school in urban neighborhoods. my mother, being involved in city affairs, often attended meetings in which I went with her <or she had gatherings in our house> that were multicultural.

I certainly agree that many people need to be more open-minded!
and yes, It is sad when people feel they have to change their name or looks in order to pass.
My mom is very light, with blue eyes and can "pass" easily though she doesn't try to
my dad, especially 5-10 years ago, has been fairly stereotypically ethnic looking as Jewish/Middle Eastern and in the Summer gets quite tan...he has also been assumed to be Native or Greek etc... and has often been "profiled" in airports.
My mom especially remembers the time they were traveling and airport security totally ignored her in the line and swooped up my dad. He had to go in a back room and take off everything.

 

[Reba]

I read a lot too, as a teen, Reba, and went to school in urban neighborhoods. my mother, being involved in city affairs, often attended meetings in which I went with her <or she had gatherings in our house> that were multicultural.

I certainly agree that many people need to be more open-minded!
and yes, It is sad when people feel they have to change their name or looks in order to pass.
My mom is very light, with blue eyes and can "pass" easily though she doesn't try to
my dad, especially 5-10 years ago, has been fairly stereotypically ethnic looking as Jewish/Middle Eastern and in the Summer gets quite tan...he has also been assumed to be Native or Greek etc... and has often been "profiled" in airports.
My mom especially remembers the time they were traveling and airport security totally ignored her in the line and swooped up my dad. He had to go in a back room and take off everything.

These are troubled times.

My dad's side of the family are Portuguese descended, and look it. (He called them dagoes*.) My dad would spend one day a year getting a tan that lasted the whole year, and he had dark hair and eyes. He also had the Roman nose and was short in stature. He flew a lot but that was all pre-9/11 (he died in 1986 from alcohol destroying his liver).

* http://www.yourdictionary.com/dago

 

[Lau2046]

My relatives and our family friends always complain that they have to go through the body scanners at the airport more than once, something they don't make passengers do that "look American"...discrimination never disappears even when people "know better."

Laura

 

[whatdidyousay!]

My relatives and our family friends always complain that they have to go through the body scanners at the airport more than once, something they don't make passengers do that "look American"...discrimination never disappears even when people "know better."

Laura

Yeah my sister ran into this when she went to South America to visit a friend from high school . Her friend had to see if was OK for my sister to go her mother's house b/c my sister is Jewish . This just happen recently
my sister she ran into a lot Anti Semitic on her trip. The mother expected my sister to look a 'certain way' . The friend's brother was Anti Semitic too .