"Fixing" the child or not?

A said:
My old college English professional asked me outside of class on why don't deaf people accept CI, and then she expressed how she felt deafness is a disability and how she thinks they should try improve their life, and all that. I didn't have CI back then, and I didn't know how to answer her. I never felt so imitated, little, or whatever the appropriate word for this type of feeling, either because she was trying tell me how I should feel about deafness. I was speechless.

Ignorance people everyone on deaf culture!
Click to expand...

But parents aren't doing that! Have Grendel or I ever said that other people should get CI's? Have we told WeeBeastie that she is wrong for not implanting her child? Of course not!! I don't think you can lump well informed parents of deaf kids in with the average, completely clueless people.
 
faire_jour said:
They can have an opinion, I don't have a problem with that at all. My problem is with the judgement that is held. I am not asking others to get CI's, not even close. I believe I am providing a positive thing for my child, and her alone. I'm not trying to fix anyone. Why is that being attached to the choices we have made?
Click to expand...

Because just as a lot of parents of children with CI and CI users feel personally attacked when a Deaf person merely states their opinion about a CI fixing deafness, many Deaf people feel personally attacked when they see a child with a CI. When you look at it as feelings it starts to make a whole lot more sense. The judgment arises from the feeling. And since there are strong feelings on both sides, there's also judgment on both sides.
 
souggy said:
I thought we're looking at things from a medical point of view, not from a cultural point of view?

So what's with the "Deaf" thing?
Click to expand...

We were at one point. That is why I have consistently used the "d" in the word deaf. It is used for the medical definition of deafness, as in absence of audiological function. That is what is being fixed.
 
CJB said:
Because just as a lot of parents of children with CI and CI users feel personally attacked when a Deaf person merely states their opinion about a CI fixing deafness, many Deaf people feel personally attacked when they see a child with a CI. When you look at it as feelings it starts to make a whole lot more sense. The judgment arises from the feeling. And since there are strong feelings on both sides, there's also judgment on both sides.
Click to expand...

But I have never met a parent of a CI users that goes around complaining that Deaf adults don't have CI's. Not a single parent I know is out advocating for mandatory implants for children or adults. There are, however, Deaf adults trying to end the opportunity for children to get CI's.
 
jillio said:
A C-section is "fixing" the fault that will not allow for a normal birth process. It is "fixing" the birth process gone awry. Normally, they are necessary because the pelvic bones refuse to expand sufficiently to allow for birth to occur naturally, so iti s fixing that malformation.
Click to expand...

Are you saying that having a C-section fixes 'malformation' that hinder pelvic bone expansion and other causes of risky vaginal birth?
 
faire_jour said:
The only people who think a CI is a fix is Deaf people. Parents and doctors don't claim that, so why are be getting blamed for it?
Click to expand...

well, some hearing people did say to me "why can't you get your hearing fixed like implant something" before. Don't tell me who's beiig blamed for it.
 
faire_jour said:
But parents aren't doing that! Have Grendel or I ever said that other people should get CI's? Have we told WeeBeastie that she is wrong for not implanting her child? Of course not!! I don't think you can lump well informed parents of deaf kids in with the average, completely clueless people.
Click to expand...

Are u speaking of all parents? What about the mother of that girl who blogs on Cochlear Implant Online...Rachel? Her mother has said stuff online that was very degrading about Deaf culture and our way of life a few years back.
 
CJB said:
Because just as a lot of parents of children with CI and CI users feel personally attacked when a Deaf person merely states their opinion about a CI fixing deafness, many Deaf people feel personally attacked when they see a child with a CI. When you look at it as feelings it starts to make a whole lot more sense. The judgment arises from the feeling. And since there are strong feelings on both sides, there's also judgment on both sides.
Click to expand...

And the statement is not made directly about you nor does it refer to you alone. It is not personal. You only make it that way. The statement is made about the hearing cultures' point of view regarding deafness.
 
faire_jour said:
But I have never met a parent of a CI users that goes around complaining that Deaf adults don't have CI's. Not a single parent I know is out advocating for mandatory implants for children or adults. There are, however, Deaf adults trying to end the opportunity for children to get CI's.
Click to expand...

Didnt u read my post about hearing people taking your stories at face value?

U asked why does the Deaf community say stuff like that and I answered ..that it was because of general society taking stories from parents of implanted children and using them to blast those who chose not to be implanted..now you are getting upset thinking we are blaming u. Did anyone say that it was your and other parents' faults?
 
faire_jour said:
But I have never met a parent of a CI users that goes around complaining that Deaf adults don't have CI's. Not a single parent I know is out advocating for mandatory implants for children or adults. There are, however, Deaf adults trying to end the opportunity for children to get CI's.
Click to expand...

some parents of a ci user did ask me "why didn't you have ci like my kid?". I am stunned how can they say that to me while I am an adult like they think i dont know anything about ci. oh no.
 
GrendelQ said:
Are you saying that having a C-section fixes 'malformation' that hinder pelvic bone expansion and other causes of risky vaginal birth?
Click to expand...

It fixes the fact that the birth process is interrupted as a result of those malformations and other risks.
 
shel90 said:
Are u speaking of all parents? What about the mother of that girl who blogs on Cochlear Implant Online...Rachel? Her mother has said stuff online that was very degrading about Deaf culture and our way of life a few years back.
Click to expand...

Her name is Melissa, the daughter is Rachel.

Yes, she does not have a high opinion of the Deaf community. She has had many very negative experiences with members of the Deaf community. I have had a very different experience with the Deaf community, but that doean't make either of our experiences right or wrong. BUT, she has never said that Deaf people do not have the right to use ASL or to choose not to use a CI. (That I am aware of. If I am wrong, I will apologize and take all of this statement back.)
 
faire_jour said:
Her name is Melissa, the daughter is Rachel.

Yes, she does not have a high opinion of the Deaf community. She has had many very negative experiences with members of the Deaf community. I have had a very different experience with the Deaf community, but that doean't make either of our experiences right or wrong. BUT, she has never said that Deaf people do not have the right to use ASL or to choose not to use a CI. (That I am aware of. If I am wrong, I will apologize and take all of this statement back.)
Click to expand...

She has referred to us as "those people" and how we are low educated. That was like 2 years ago. I was disgusted.
 
Thanks to the csection that the doctor fixed on my tummy in order to keep my girl alive. :|
 
CJB said:
... many Deaf people feel personally attacked when they see a child with a CI.
Click to expand...

I get that sense. And then those people who feel attacked by the sight or idea that my child has a CI feel justified in 'retaliating' or acting in what they see as self-defense.

But flip it: should I look at a deaf child without a CI and feel personally attacked? And then am I justified in striking out in self-defense? Should my daughter feel that one of her best friends, who is deaf without a CI, is a living, breathing reproof of all she believes in?

If I were to make ugly comments such as Shel has experienced (suggestions to "improve" herself with CIs), I'd see how you could take that as a personal offense. But I'm not suggesting that a CI is a wonderful thing for anybody but my daughter, it's not an easy decision to make at all.

So when you 'retaliate' upon encountering my offensive daughter or my offensive decision, it comes at me out of the blue.
 
Frisky Feline said:
some parents of a ci user did ask me "why didn't you have ci like my kid?". I am stunned how can they say that to me while I am an adult like they think i dont know anything about ci. oh no.
Click to expand...

Yes, agreed, that's offensive.
 
shel90 said:
She has referred to us as "those people" and how we are low educated. That was like 2 years ago. I was disgusted.
Click to expand...

Where did she say that? Do you happen to have the link? I'm curious.

But she never said that Deaf people need fixed, did she? Did she say that all Deaf people should stop using ASL and get CI's so they aren't deaf anymore? Anything like that?

edited to add: I don't want anyone to think I support her views, I think she is passionate and a great advocate for her children but we disagree on almost everything!!
 
souggy said:
Wow. Serious?

That enough is enough to make me want to go back to UofA and finish my degree.
Click to expand...

Oh, I sent Jillio and a few other ADers the link to Rachel's blog and to some DeafRead comments when Melissa was making comments.

That was one big reason why I stopped reading Deafread..I didnt like reading stereotyping of our way of life by people like her.
 
Back
Top