Fitting Into The Deaf Community...

shel90 said:
U have a good point..people need to do their jobs and cant wait for the customer to be ready to get their services but I really think it was wrong of the hostess to step in between them like that. She should be more professional than that.
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If they were hearing, I think the waitress would have interrupted with an "excuse me," which would not be rude. However knowing they were deaf, there is no other way to interrupt besides visually.
 
vrsterp said:
If they were hearing, I think the waitress would have interrupted with an "excuse me," which would not be rude. However knowing they were deaf, there is no other way to interrupt besides visually.
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I respectfully disagree.. A few taps on the shoulder will do.
 
NC Tar Heel Guy said:
No offense to hearing people, but I love to tell them off in sign language!

But either way, my co-workers and some of my friends are learning to sign basic things, so it's helping!
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I did that once when I was leaning to sign and didn't know that the guy I did it to also knew sign language--better than I did at the time. :D OOPS! He went off on me fast I only saw something about my mother and that was it. We had a big laugh after. :)
 
vrsterp said:
That's a cultural difference. In the hearing world touching someone you don't know is not acceptable.
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Tapping on the shoulder is no more rude than stepping in between--in either culture.
 
I am deaf. My husband is hearing. Anyway, I used social with deaf people then I met my husband. Deaf people didn't approve me that I was dating a hearing guy. My husband already learned how sign. He was so nice and tried be friend with them. They didn't speak to us back. I always tell many deaf people that hearing and deaf human are same, same feeling, same mind. Hearing people were so mean at my husband and me also. No different. We don't need be member of any deaf club or hearing club. We just want social anyone for chat and enjoy. We don't need anyone who are not accpet deaf or hearing.

Hearing and Deaf human are being same! No different!!!!!!
 
ghsh1996 said:
I am deaf. My husband is hearing. Anyway, I used social with deaf people then I met my husband. Deaf people didn't approve me that I was dating a hearing guy. My husband already learned how sign. He was so nice and tried be friend with them. They didn't speak to us back. I always tell many deaf people that hearing and deaf human are same, same feeling, same mind. Hearing people were so mean at my husband and me also. No different. We don't need be member of any deaf club or hearing club. We just want social anyone for chat and enjoy. We don't need anyone who are not accpet deaf or hearing.

Hearing and Deaf human are being same! No different!!!!!!
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I agree with you--they are the same. And mean people are mean people, whether they can hear or not hear.
 
ghsh1996 said:
I am deaf. My husband is hearing. Anyway, I used social with deaf people then I met my husband. Deaf people didn't approve me that I was dating a hearing guy. My husband already learned how sign. He was so nice and tried be friend with them. They didn't speak to us back. I always tell many deaf people that hearing and deaf human are same, same feeling, same mind. Hearing people were so mean at my husband and me also. No different. We don't need be member of any deaf club or hearing club. We just want social anyone for chat and enjoy. We don't need anyone who are not accpet deaf or hearing.

Hearing and Deaf human are being same! No different!!!!!!
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I am in the same shoes as u r in from time to time.

First, I wasn't accepted cuz I was too "hearing" so I told those off big time but still contuinued to be involved and some of those who judged me realized their mistake and I ended friends with some of them.

Then, I started dating my hearing husband. He has already been involved with the deaf communinty and knew sign but I still had some situations where some deaf people were judgemental so I told them off. LOL!

Most of my friends didn't care if I married a hearing guy. Some of his hearing friends asked him how he could marry a "disabled" person and that he was getting himself in more than what he asked for. Some even joked that we will have retarded babies. My husband told them that he will kick their asses if they make any more comments. Hearing can be just as judgemental too.

Important we have our damily and close friends. Don't need to be close friends with everyone. Hehehehe
 
ghsh1996 said:
I am deaf. My husband is hearing. Anyway, I used social with deaf people then I met my husband. Deaf people didn't approve me that I was dating a hearing guy. My husband already learned how sign. He was so nice and tried be friend with them. They didn't speak to us back. I always tell many deaf people that hearing and deaf human are same, same feeling, same mind. Hearing people were so mean at my husband and me also. No different. We don't need be member of any deaf club or hearing club. We just want social anyone for chat and enjoy. We don't need anyone who are not accpet deaf or hearing.

Hearing and Deaf human are being same! No different!!!!!!
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jillio said:
I agree with you--they are the same. And mean people are mean people, whether they can hear or not hear.
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Exactly.
 
My brother and I tried to attend a deaf club in Flint, MI once--they told us that he could join, but I could not, because I was hearing. We left. I think it's their loss (not about me, really, but that they're roping themselves off from those hearies that sign).
 
shel90 said:
I am in the same shoes as u r in from time to time.


Most of my friends didn't care if I married a hearing guy. Some of his hearing friends asked him how he could marry a "disabled" person and that he was getting himself in more than what he asked for. Some even joked that we will have retarded babies. My husband told them that he will kick their asses if they make any more comments. Hearing can be just as judgemental too.

Important we have our damily and close friends. Don't need to be close friends with everyone. Hehehehe
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My husband tell me that he don't let anyone bother him about me. I met people through my husband. They were suprised that I am deaf. They asked my husband about why didnt he tell them about it. He said noone ask me about it. Some accpet us and some don't. We always go out or go store or somewhere. People thought that both of us were deaf but my husband can hear. My husband said they were talking about us so bad. He said hey I can hear what you guys talking. They were shocked. They tried make excuse. We just walked away. It happen many times. Many people talked to me, I said excuse me, I am deaf. I had paper and pen. but they were not patient at all and they just walked away. Some can handle with me. Some cannot.
 
Aorora111 said:
I am hard of hearing, am people are surprised to learn it because I get the same thing - oh, you speak so well. Well, yeah, 12 years of speech therapy will do that. I also let it roll off because I know it's ignorance with the intentions of being a compliment.
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I get that all the freaking time!!! That and "They let you drive". lmao
 
I have to burst out laughing everytime I hear of someone else getting the 'oh you can drive?' thing.

That is almost like asking a blind man - 'Oh you can walk?' It is really that ridiculous to me.
 
Dixie said:
I have to burst out laughing everytime I hear of someone else getting the 'oh you can drive?' thing.

That is almost like asking a blind man - 'Oh you can walk?' It is really that ridiculous to me.
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I do almost burst out laughing. Usually the person means well, so I don't tend to take offense. I usually reply "I bet I'm a more attentive driver, I can't use a cell, I'm ALWAYS checking my mirrors, I'm always aware of drivers around me, etc". It usually takes about 2 seconds for the person to reflect on his/her inattentive driving to realize they would be safer in a car with me any day.
 
akoutsourais said:
I do almost burst out laughing. Usually the person means well, so I don't tend to take offense. I usually reply "I bet I'm a more attentive driver, I can't use a cell, I'm ALWAYS checking my mirrors, I'm always aware of drivers around me, etc". It usually takes about 2 seconds for the person to reflect on his/her inattentive driving to realize they would be safer in a car with me any day.
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Ah! I like that reply better!
 
I had someone express shock because I drive. She genuinely does not know any deaf people, so I understood her shock. She's never been around deaf people. but she's learned a lot about me in a short time.

Don't tell people off just because they're surprised you can drive or talk or whatever.. Didn't you guys ever think maybe those hearing people have never met a deaf person and most likely, don't know what deaf people can do?

Instead of trying to be sarcastic, Try being nice. I'm sorry, but if people express shock or whatever when I tell them I'm deaf, I try to be nice and talk to them, explain about deafness. and so far, it has worked for me.
 
BearBeauty said:
I had someone express shock because I drive. She genuinely does not know any deaf people, so I understood her shock. She's never been around deaf people. but she's learned a lot about me in a short time.

Don't tell people off just because they're surprised you can drive or talk or whatever.. Didn't you guys ever think maybe those hearing people have never met a deaf person and most likely, don't know what deaf people can do?

Instead of trying to be sarcastic, Try being nice. I'm sorry, but if people express shock or whatever when I tell them I'm deaf, I try to be nice and talk to them, explain about deafness. and so far, it has worked for me.
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I have always wondered if those people were aware the questions they asked are most likely the same questions other millions have asked? Simply google would do. It's so easy to get information about different cultures nowaday than in the past.

I have learned that whether I see person behave in a new way, I try my best by not ask them any questions but research on it instead. That way I can leave them in peace, for frak's sake they were probably asked for millionth time. And I know how it feels.

I would think usually you can learn more by being friend with them without ask them any questions.

Generally I would think how you interact with people you are not familiar with come with common sense, but that's not how the world works. *shrugs* At least they have one less person to deal with.
 
they could google it.. but they would never think to ask or google about deafness unless they see a deaf person doing stuff they never thought a deaf person could do. then they will get curious, and find out more. If they get rudeness from deaf people, they will assume that all deaf people are rude. So i think a little kindness can go a LONG way in terms of educating the hearing community.
 
Well I don't know if every deaf person have time to spare to educate each hearing person that were curious. They have their own life too...

I am very patient person but at times I got to admit I wondered why don't they just research it and that way they can learn more than trying to learn from me in just 5 minutes.
Well either way I do enjoy interact and answer questions if I am in my happy mood.

Not all people are like that.

Google is just a suggest.
 
Silentwolfdog said:
Well I don't know if every deaf person have time to spare to educate each hearing person that were curious. They have their own life too...

I am very patient person but at times I got to admit I wondered why don't they just research it and that way they can learn more than trying to learn from me in just 5 minutes.
Well either way I do enjoy interact and answer questions if I am in my happy mood.

Not all people are like that.

Google is just a suggest.
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I agree. If a hearing person is truly interested in deaf culture and the experience of living as a deaf person, they will research and learn meore without just asking questions of deaf people. Maybe, when they ask, refer a good book to them.
 
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