Finical issue: Need advice!

Whoa we can't click like the posts anymore? o_O
 
JoeyDeafNinja said:
I live in Travelers Rest, SC. I figured f I provide a location, you'd probably know where to suggest or make advice and etc like that.

It has been almost two years since my father passed away due cancer and brain tumor. He used to have good paying job (He was cable guy for AT&T) and we were in "middle class". In 2010, it went downhill after he got stroke and found out he had brain tumor so he had to get surgery to remove tumors. It went success. He returned to work after regain control of his right hand. Few months later, we found out he had stage 4 cancer which he can't go outside any longer. He had go through chemo. His heath decline over time and it reached the point where he had to visit doctor because he had low blood level. Eventually he came home in hospital bed and we had hospice nurse come over sometime to check on him. Doctor said he had about 2 to 3 months left to live. Possible less than that. It was only two months before he passed away. He could not beat cancer however his brain tumor is main cause, it regrew back and made his heath worse so that is why he could not win the fight. He fought for almost 3 years and lost. It was big impact on our lives. Now finical is coming to kick our asses.

Now we dropped into "low class" poor family. But thanks to dad's good friendship with landlord, we are able to have roof even we could not pay rent all time. In my heart I knew we'd have to move to cheaper home someday. So I told her that we should sell our stuff we don't use anymore through yard sale or pawnshop. She is okay with it but when I told her that we need to move, she got little upset and said we will be fine even I know we will not and I don't like the fact that she has to use all of my SSI and make my bank account owe (overdrawn balance) to pay for bills she claimed to be around $800 worth of bills. Rent is not included. I told her how it is not fair that I could not even save a penny for myself. I am still jobless and still looking for two years. Everyone in my house (Brother, sister, her boyfriend and mom) have job. I am pretty frustration. We live in small town and she won't willing to drive me to bit far just for job. I have fear of driving. But at least I got apt with VR next week (Could not do this week because no gas money). Travelers Rest does not even have bus route.

So What should I do? How do I convince her to agree that we should move to cheaper home or move to Florida and live with grandparents for while? (We will have to use their camper. Their camper only have room for 3 or 4 people.)
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I was in the same situation as you when I was 18 years old. When I got my SSI back from my mother, she forced me to pay rent (about $600) every month to live under her roof until I moved out at 20 years old. Your mother might do the same to you.
 
SilverRoxy said:
I was in the same situation as you when I was 18 years old. When I got my SSI back from my mother, she forced me to pay rent (about $600) every month to live under her roof until I moved out at 20 years old. Your mother might do the same to you.
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I can understand paying his share of the rent and food but that's not the same as giving over full access to his bank account, especially since she overdraws from it.
 
I am going to go out on a limb here and suggest the OP calling a Center for Independent Living and get a case worker that will him help to become independent . They can teach the OP how to pays bills, set up a checking account etc. If I am understanding this correctly there is a reason for his mother's name being on his bank account, the OP does not know how to pays etc and SSI may had felt the mother name should be on the account.
The mother is abusing her power and trying to made her child feel guilty in wanting to be on their own. I feel the OP really should a caseworker or a trusted adult to help him find a better living situation . The longer the OP stay home it will getting harder to move out. And by suggesting the OP go to a Center for Independent Living DOES NOT mean I think there is anything wrong with them , I think he not being show how to do anything so he will forced to live at home.
 
I have made decision. I am moving out of SC and live with dad's side family in KY. But I got to convince mom in let me go.
 
JoeyDeafNinja said:
I have made decision. I am moving out of SC and live with dad's side family in KY. But I got to convince mom in let me go.
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If are you 18 yo or older you should be able to move out unless there so reasons your mother can keep you at home.
 
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whatdidyousay! said:
If are you 18 yo or younger you should be able to move out unless there so reasons your mother can keep you at home.
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You have this backwards. It is 18 or OLDER at which you are considered and adult and can decided for yourself. Earlier in this thread he said that he is 21. So, that is not an issue. He just needs to make sure his dad's side of his family agrees to him living with them. If they do, then make the arrangements for the move.
 
Jane B. said:
You have this backwards. It is 18 or OLDER at which you are considered and adult and can decided for yourself. Earlier in this thread he said that he is 21. So, that is not an issue. He just needs to make sure his dad's side of his family agrees to him living with them. If they do, then make the arrangements for the move.
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I meant to say older , I was in a hurry when I posted my comment. I know it's older .
 
JoeyDeafNinja said:
I have made decision. I am moving out of SC and live with dad's side family in KY. But I got to convince mom in let me go.
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Here is how you convince her.
When everyone goes to bed...walk out the front door and never look back.

Have a ride waiting for you either a friend, a cab or a bus ticket.
 
sonocativo said:
Here is how you convince her.
When everyone goes to bed...walk out the front door and never look back.

Have a ride waiting for you either a friend, a cab or a bus ticket.
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But first, open a new checking or savings account and notify SSI of the new #. As long as mom can still access the $$ she's going to take it.
 
It is done. Next Friday I am moving out of the state with relations. Thanks for advice, folks! It turned out better than expected, though.
 
JoeyDeafNinja said:
It is done. Next Friday I am moving out of the state with relations. Thanks for advice, folks! It turned out better than expected, though.
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So your mom is going to finally cut her aprons strings from you? Good luck on your move . Be sure to go to the Post Office and fill out a change of address card and register to vote in your new city if want to vote in this election . I am not sure when the dead line is for this.
 
Going to feel like a long week waiting, keep yourself busy with packing your necessary personal items and important papers ( birth certificate, SS card, and any medication info ) Take it one day at a time and keep your head straight and clear. Ask for help from a family member you trust once you get settled as far as finding a doc, getting you SSDI/SSI transfered, banking...ect...
 
sonocativo said:
going to feel like a long week waiting, keep yourself busy with packing your necessary personal items and important papers ( birth certificate, ss card, and any medication info ) take it one day at a time and keep your head straight and clear. Ask for help from a family member you trust once you get settled as far as finding a doc, getting you ssdi/ssi transfered, banking...ect...
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'like'
 
JoeyDeafNinja said:
It is done. Next Friday I am moving out of the state with relations. Thanks for advice, folks! It turned out better than expected, though.
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YAY!!!!! WOOHOO!!!! and in answer to your question
yes you can work as a dorm parent at a Deaf School... That might be a really good stopgap job........It's an opportunity, and it's MUCH better then being on disability. It's too bad there's not a skilled vocational training program for dhh kids who don't want to go to college......lemme guess....you don't need a post grad program, but at the same time you're not interested in competitive/strongly academic college right? But, I'm glad you're out of your little South Carolina town! That will hopefully improve prospects!
 
first off -- I want to say that once you reach age 18 - the SSA money goes to you directly as they consider you adult and old enough to make decisions. Your mom has the right to handle the money until your 18th birthday to use as she sees fit as you were a minor.
Since you are 21 now, with the bank issue - does the account has your mom name on it as joint account? If so you need to go to bank and have them close it on your name side and let your mom suffer the consequences with overdrawn issues. Remember - you are FULLY responsible for any charges before the date you close the bank account. If the bank NOT close the account due to minus balance - you need to settle up somehow when closing out your name so you can break free for the rest of your life from money problems.
If your mom does NOT have her name on your bank account - If I were you, I would change passwords, pin numbers, get new card. leave the bank account open for couple months until you have the FIRST real deposit from SSA directly in your new account so you can make sure you continue get it or you will have to spend hours on the phone straighten it out and get money later. not fun !

This is the best way I know- SSA can be funny with things like that so its better to play it safe.

since you are moving out - its up to your mom to handle the rent and bills. hopefully you can leave on good terms.
 
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