Feeling really pissed off

sonocativo

sonocativo

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Just this past Wednesday my daughter got married and Thursday evening I found out there was a funeral, a death in the family, someone so dearly close to me and not a soul mentioned it to me.
my mom was at my daughters wedding and didnt say a word to me, Last night I get on facebook and my mom posted a picture of the family, everyone I havent seen in years because they all moved out of state, and have come together for their moms funeral. My Aunt, was a great woman, I have spent many summer vacations from school with them and their children ( my cousins) many family get togethers at their house, so many great memories grew there. I remeber she would send me and my cousin off to the Blackberry patch to pick blackberries to make blackberry cobblers, or send us to the post office, store for things she needed....
She passed away having surgeries trying to save her life.

I asked why no one told me, and the answer I got was...
It was on Facebook, yada yada yada... well I didnt have facebook for a week and missed all that also nothing has posted recently and only the pictures recently popped up. Feeling really frustrated with my family as this isnt the first time this bullshit has happened. Then they have a hissy fit that I wasnt there, sometimes I just want to tell them like it is, and I will speak my mind !
 
I'm very sorry that no one contacted you about your aunt's death. People shouldn't depend on Facebook to make such personal notifications. That's really sad. :(
 
So sorry that happened to you, an awful way to find out. My condolences on the loss of your aunt.
 
Reba said:
I'm very sorry that no one contacted you about your aunt's death. People shouldn't depend on Facebook to make such personal notifications. That's really sad. :(
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I agree, and I havent been online as much since my surgery, but not everything posts to everybody's facebook page...

Im tired of the excuses, well didnt you talk to so n so, or did you see the posts..ect.. My mom was right there and didnt say a peep to me and not the first time she has done this and uses the excuse "she thought I already knew"

Well if I did, dont they think Id say something
Maybe I should say, Mom, I wont be at your funeral because Im assuming no one will tell me? Just sayin !
 
My thoughts and prayers for you and your family. I do feel that a death in the family should be told to you personally. I live far from my family and I have told them all to either call me or text me. Never leave it on FB for me. I do hope you find peace in this and not dwell on the way it came out.
 
Ouch that really sucks.

It's happened to me before-- long before Facebook ever made it on the scene. I don't know why family does that... "well meaning" I suppose but still sucks big time.

I am almost sure I will be the last to know if either of my parents or maternal aunt dies... or if I do..after the fact of any service...:P.. But we'll see.
 
oh damn. social media is not the best place to share such news.
 
I hate to say this but your family are way out of touch here ! You do not relies on Facebook to say there been a death in the family . That is the most tasteless thing I heard of . I am so sorry to hear about the lost of your beloved aunt and that you had to find out this way. My deepest condolences to you. I don't even have a Facebook account anymore
 
Maybe it is 'tasteless' more rude than anything else , certainly not the brightest thing to rely only on Facebook but unfortunately it seems to be the trend these days to use social media and/or texting to share family news as it is quicker and easier.


No I don't endorse it either-- just trying to see it from other angles.
Will say that if the family member had enough time to post about it on facebook then they certainly had enough time to send at least a group text to everyone(provided they have all the phone numbers).
 
my family would be similar...im not surprised at how hearies treat deaf members of the family as 'unimportant'....it really pisses me off no end too

join the club

you're not alone in this sort of crap mate
 
DeafDucky said:
Maybe it is 'tasteless' more rude than anything else , certainly not the brightest thing to rely only on Facebook but unfortunately it seems to be the trend these days to use social media and/or texting to share family news as it is quicker and easier.


No I don't endorse it either-- just trying to see it from other angles.
Will say that if the family member had enough time to post about it on facebook then they certainly had enough time to send at least a group text to everyone(provided they have all the phone numbers).
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I guess you can call this being very lazy too , just post something on Facebook instead of taking the time to made a personal phone call to family members. When my mother die I called cousins I had not seen in years b/c I felt they should know before we had the funeral and not find out in the newspaper a week later . I really do not understand this kind of behavior is seen so disrespectful to me not taking the time to made a phone to let a person know a family member had dies .
 
Seems normal to me. I don't have a phone, and Facebook and FB messenger are the only way I communicate with my family.

I am pretty sure if someone died they would send me a FB message though.
 
Bottesini said:
Seems normal to me. I don't have a phone, and Facebook and FB messenger are the only way I communicate with my family.

I am pretty sure if someone died they would send me a FB message though.
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see, I was told, " Its all over FB " but nothing posted to my wall or anything. I recently went and looked and nothing was there, but if I pulled up another family member only certain ones showed anything, not all of them had anything remotely refering to it...possibly privacy settings? i dont know, but I agree as its always been pick up the phone and contact at least one family member in each family to spread the word to the rest of their family... like i said, this wasnt the first time this happened and its really starting to Irk me ! I had a few close friends that their parents passed and I would go to show respects, some didnt bother to let me know as i knew them well and it kind of bothered me in a way, but thats them... My immediate family doing this just pisses me off... what Im not family or just not good enough anymore to socialize...
Maybe they shouldnt call me at all to fix crap and all that too?
 
Sono..... I think maybe because they were dealing with unexpected stuff that MAYBE they may not have had time to tell you? Same thing happened with my stepmom, when I found out about my Dad's stroke last month-- she has had an extremely hard time staying in touch with people, and it's not her fault. Maybe that happened here? Just my two cents. I would at least try and get more information first beforehand.
 
sonocativo said:
see, I was told, " Its all over FB " but nothing posted to my wall or anything. I recently went and looked and nothing was there, but if I pulled up another family member only certain ones showed anything, not all of them had anything remotely refering to it...possibly privacy settings? i dont know, but I agree as its always been pick up the phone and contact at least one family member in each family to spread the word to the rest of their family... like i said, this wasnt the first time this happened and its really starting to Irk me ! I had a few close friends that their parents passed and I would go to show respects, some didnt bother to let me know as i knew them well and it kind of bothered me in a way, but thats them... My immediate family doing this just pisses me off... what Im not family or just not good enough anymore to socialize...
Maybe they shouldnt call me at all to fix crap and all that too?
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I can really understand how you feel ,your family knew you just had surgery and had not been feeling up to your old self someone could had called your wife and have tell you about the death of your aunt. I think it was very wrong for o one made any phone calls . I know people that do not even use a computer so posting a death on Facebook would had been no use to them.
I personally feel people are getting to lazy to pick up a phone and open up their mouth to talk . Who know maybe having mouths will be obsolete in 100 years
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I can really understand how you feel ,your family knew you just had surgery and had not been feeling up to your old self someone could had called your wife and have tell you about the death of your aunt. I think it was very wrong for o one made any phone calls . I know people that do not even use a computer so posting a death on Facebook would had been no use to them.
I personally feel people are getting to lazy to pick up a phone and open up their mouth to talk . Who know maybe having mouths will be obsolete in 100 years
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If so, then people would have to learn ASL and other forms of sign language. :lol: Just imagine that.
 
Last time this happened, I just happened to call someone and ask what they been up to, all Jolly and such... then they say, we are at so n so's funeral, Why arent you here? Can you imagine the shock, the humility, then they continue and ask , didnt your mom or anyone tell you?
And Im dumbfounded because I , not knowing, called acting like my usual goofy self in a dire situation. arhg I just want to choke the crap out of some people, especially my mom, she is the gossip queen, calls everyone but me and its not the first.. Ah well, its over, damage is done. Think next month or 2 I may take a 4 hour trip to go see my uncle, see how he is doing, I know this is really hard on him, My aunt was with him through some very tough times as he served 4 tours in Vietnam... they struggled and they pulled through some very hard times.... I just want him to know why I wasnt there and Im there for him.
 
sonocativo said:
Last time this happened, I just happened to call someone and ask what they been up to, all Jolly and such... then they say, we are at so n so's funeral, Why arent you here? Can you imagine the shock, the humility, then they continue and ask , didnt your mom or anyone tell you?
And Im dumbfounded because I , not knowing, called acting like my usual goofy self in a dire situation. arhg I just want to choke the crap out of some people, especially my mom, she is the gossip queen, calls everyone but me and its not the first.. Ah well, its over, damage is done. Think next month or 2 I may take a 4 hour trip to go see my uncle, see how he is doing, I know this is really hard on him, My aunt was with him through some very tough times as he served 4 tours in Vietnam... they struggled and they pulled through some very hard times.... I just want him to know why I wasnt there and Im there for him.
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Wow ,that had to been awkward for you,
 
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