Father Wants His Son Deaf

Frisky Feline said:
He is. He is an oral deaf guy. Can you see what his face, that's what CI did it to his face when he was a kid. :/
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Thanks, and no, where can I see it? and is Chuck still around?
when I looked at his statistic it seem his last post was in 2010?

Fuzzy
 
Frisky Feline said:
yeah I did post it last year. this thread got so heat and out of control. it was removed. I think. I have not look into my threads becuase it got locked. He and i went to the same college but did not know him personally but he's a real nice person in real life.
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I remember how heated it got. Especially with the hearing parents that kept insisting that they never "wanted" a hearing child and "were not trying to make their child more hearing". They just couldn't see that everyone expects a child to be like them. It is not even a question for most hearing parents. They just naturally assume that the child will be hearing without ever questioning it.

Deaf parents are the same. They want their child to be like them. That doesn't mean that they will not accept their hearing child. It just means that they have the same basic instincts that hearing parents have. It is just that the Deaf will admit it, and most of the hearing won't.
 
wow...that really made me mad! i was getting ready to ask what sort of doctor would do that to a child??
 
its a lesson hes trying to teach though, I was pretty riled up myself until the ending. I understood where he was coming from.
 
good..and i know it was a stupid question but you never know! there was an idiot here in my town that tattooed his baby.
 
This is the first time I have seen this. At the beginning of the video I got the feeling that this was a bit of a parody. There is no one that I know of that could do what the video was suggesting and I've known quite a few gung-ho-in-your-face DEAF individuals.

There are quacks all around the world if you have the money. Having said that, it would be challenging to find a Dr anywhere that would be willing to risk his job for this kind of an operation.
 
so is this video saying that getting the implant for your child is basically for the parents comfort more than the childs? a way to make the child to fit their sense of normal?
 
frankiesmom said:
so is this video saying that getting the implant for your child is basically for the parents comfort more than the childs? a way to make the child to fit their sense of normal?
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Yes. He wants you to see this from his perspective. Makes you think doesn't it?
 
yep..this idiot tattooed a gang symbol on his kid. i think it was, dont quote me on that..but really, when talking about tattooing babies, it really doesnt matter!
as for his perspective, i do see it kind of.when i first started posting here, i asked which was best because all i wanted was to find a way to help my little one..Ive done the research and if he were older and TRULY wanted it and was sure, i would go for it, but i just don't think i could right now. mainly because from everything Ive read and seen, you can adapt and move on, it doesn't have to be a major deal. don't get me wrong, i would rather he be able to hear like everyone else, but since he cant, the only thing do do is just accept it and move on and be happy with who he is.
 
frankiesmom said:
so is this video saying that getting the implant for your child is basically for the parents comfort more than the childs? a way to make the child to fit their sense of normal?
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Yes. We have had many, many discussions about parents refusing to learn sign and insisting on an oral environment for deaf children, and the motivations behind it. It is analogous to asking the child to become the parent, because the child is placed in the position of having to meet the parents' communication needs.
 
frankiesmom said:
yep..this idiot tattooed a gang symbol on his kid. i think it was, dont quote me on that..but really, when talking about tattooing babies, it really doesnt matter!
as for his perspective, i do see it kind of.when i first started posting here, i asked which was best because all i wanted was to find a way to help my little one..Ive done the research and if he were older and TRULY wanted it and was sure, i would go for it, but i just don't think i could right now. mainly because from everything Ive read and seen, you can adapt and move on, it doesn't have to be a major deal. don't get me wrong, i would rather he be able to hear like everyone else, but since he cant, the only thing do do is just accept it and move on and be happy with who he is.
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There was a discussion here awhile back about a parent who named his child Hitler, and drew nazi symbols on the children with a permanent marker. I would say the only reason the kids were not tattooed was because the tattoo artist refused.
 
frankiesmom said:
yep..this idiot tattooed a gang symbol on his kid. i think it was, dont quote me on that..but really, when talking about tattooing babies, it really doesnt matter!
as for his perspective, i do see it kind of.when i first started posting here, i asked which was best because all i wanted was to find a way to help my little one..Ive done the research and if he were older and TRULY wanted it and was sure, i would go for it, but i just don't think i could right now. mainly because from everything Ive read and seen, you can adapt and move on, it doesn't have to be a major deal. don't get me wrong, i would rather he be able to hear like everyone else, but since he cant, the only thing do do is just accept it and move on and be happy with who he is.
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Such a healthy conclusion! For both you and your son.:hug:

And so much honesty in admitting that you would rather he could hear. Many hearing parents are never able to achieve that level of honesty, even though it is completely natural to feel that way.
 
Hey, Buffalo. I hope you don't mind me to re-post his reason here. Also, thank you for the transcription. ;)

[Title reads “My Son is Deaf, Finally! James‘s Response to the Hearing Parents of Deaf Children]

[A man in his living room and the title reads James Kittel II]

Hello, I am James. The last time my video “My Son is Deaf, Finally” was shown. I got many emails and comments. Many of the emails were hate emails. Later on, some of them realized that they didn’t watch the video to the end and apologized to me. They didn’t watch it to the end because they were too upset/angry therefore they missed out the ending where the ‘son’ turned out to be a dog. That is why hate emails were send to me. Did I take this personally? No. I waited it out by refusing to answered their emails. I waited until they watched it again, this time to the end. When they realized it, they emailed me with their apologies. Many of them realized they had misunderstood him. Many of them also realized it is something to think about. Some hearing parents of deaf child realized they should wait on CI and ask their child if they want CI when they get older. That is good.

Now for those hearing parents who already had their child implanted, they realized it and they tried to do their best. They also wished they had seen my video earlier - before they implanted their child. Yet another group of hearing parents who already had implanted their child, would debate it and that they think CI is the right thing to do and they expected their child to hear and function in the hearing world.

There are two emails that I found it very interesting. The first email asked me if I hate the hearing parents. The second asked me if I am against the CI. The answer to the first email is that I don’t hate hearing parents even if they had implanted their child. I care about the fact that all hearing parents don’t know what to do about their discovery of the fact that their child is deaf. They were so confused just like my parents. My parents didn’t know what to do. They didn’t know what path to take. There are so many paths to consider and choose. Oral, hearing aids, which type of sign language - SEE or PSE. There is no just one path hence their confusion. The answer to the second email - am I against CI? No. My biggest concern is the risks especially in the children.

Should we implant the infant or young child when they aren’t ready for that? No. Let me tell you something else before we get back to the hearing parents. When I was born, my parents didn’t know what to do. They were shocked and no one had said to them that their child is okay. There were no education on what to do with a deaf child. They went thru many doctors and being referred to yet another doctor. The audiologist suggested the hearing aids. Thank God for the behind-the ear hearing aids. My first hearing aid was the boxy body-worn hearing aid when I was about, I believe, 8 months old. There is a picture of me wearing that hearing aid. Why do I like behind-the-ear hearing aids? When my parents found a way by putting me in an oral school called John Tracey Center or JTC for short. My parents really had high expectations of me. JTC told them that they will be successful. I entered JTC when I was three. After all that speech training until I was 6 years old, was it successful? JTC told my parents the truth and they were so upset. Their high expectations were gone. My parents divorced and my mother moved to northern California while my father remained in southern California in Los Angles area.

I had to be shuttled between both parents. Am I against hearing parents? No. No, I care about hearing parents. In my opinion, the hospital should provide a manual on what to do. Just one path not many paths to choose from. For example, when a deaf baby is born, they should give the parent the manual that is sponsored by the government, or state or county. The first thing the manual should says that the baby is alright/okay. What is the important thing to do is to go to the audiologist to test how much of the hearing loss is there. The audiologist should suggest which hearing aids to use since it is the safest thing for the child. I will explain why. When the parents find out what was the decibel loss, they would know what kind of hearing aids they should get for their child. The audiologist could make adjustments in ear molds, hearing aid types. Hearing aids can be upgraded as the child grew. If the hearing aid is lost, they can always buy another one. When the child get to be 15, 16 or 17 years old and he felt ready for CI. Go ahead and have the child implanted. That is fine. Supposed the baby is implanted, one is not really sure if the child is hearing things correctly or if the child is in pain. The baby can’t tell the parents that. If he stop using CI when he gets older, he can’t use hearing aid because the hearing is damaged from the implanting. The hearing is gone for good.

I hope the doctors do tell the truth about CI damaging the residual hearing. Am I against CI? No. CI is great but the risks are huge. BTE hearing aids can be adjusted or replacing with ease. One thing I don’t understand is why the hearing aids aren’t usually covered by the insurance, while the CIs usually are covered. CIs are expensive comparing to the hearing aids. Suppose there is an upgrade, existing good CI (in the head) can’t be upgraded. You might have to buy it yourself without insurance helping if you want the upgrade version. Can you really afford that? No. That is my concern. I care about the hearing parents because of my experiences with my divorced parents. All that expectations. I am not against CI as long as it is later on in the child’s life. It is important for the children to have hearing aids. If they want CI when they are all grown up, that is okay. It is important that the child is able to tell us what is wrong with CI since a baby couldn’t do that.

I hope you parents who are watching me on the video, that we deaf people do care about you guys. We don’t want to see you confused/upset and struggling with the paths to take. We, Deaf people, already know that there are other deaf people who aren’t successful with their CI and that there are some who grew up with CI and still not successful with it. There are too many risks. Way too many. Again we the deaf people do care about you guys.

[fade out and fade back into picture]

I want to let you hearing parents know that I don’t blame my parents at all. My parents took the doctors’ advice. I had the surgeries at age 1, age 3, age 5, age 7, age 9 and age 11 in hope to restore my hearing. There were no more surgeries after age 11. Do you want to know the reason for that? Look at my face. [He scrunched up his face but only half of his face was scrunched up.] See how half of my face is frozen in place on my right side. Now look at my eyes. Watch for the delay. See how the left eye blink first and then the right eye sort of half-blink a bit later. Do you see that? Now I don’t want your deaf children to have this problem as well. In implanting the child in hope of making him hearing is going to entail some big risks. That is something I want you guys to consider.

I don’t blame my parents since they thought they were doing the right thing until this problem. My parents were upset to see that I will have to live with this problem for the rest of my life. Well, yes, that is sad but I am okay. It is important for me to be positive about life. I have a beautiful daughter and I am happy. That is what I want to share with you is that we deaf people do care about you - hearing parents and deaf children.

[Title that says “Devin Henry Barnes March 17, 1967 - October 27, 2007 Devin, thank you for giving me courage and the heart to face the challenge. I missed you, buddy. James Kittell II”.]
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