F**k you, Deaf "Community"

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faire_jour said:
Have any of you actually been told you are a monster? Have you had strangers approach you and tell you that you are a child abuser and that your children should be taken away from you? Have you been told that you raped your child and destroyed their soul?

It sucks. How can you not understand that parents get upset by this?
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And we deaf people get told by hearing people that we should get CIs, improve ourselves, that our lives would be better if we could speak and the list gooooeees on.

We learned to deal with it and so should you.
 
shel90 said:
And we deaf people get told by hearing people that we should get CIs, improve ourselves, that our lives would be better if we could speak and the list gooooeees on.

We learned to deal with it and so should you.
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True story ... I was shopping in a big box store when two women approached me. Women I did not know. They started telling me I was hearing impaired because I was a sinner. They noticed my hearing aids and said that God made me this way because it was my punishment for being a sinner.

I politely asked them to leave me alone; it only made them more aggressive. They insisted that I must be some sort of a convicted felon, child molester, rapist or murderer for God to punish me in such a horrible way. They then told me they would pray for me to be forgiven and healed.

I very quickly and deliberately walked away from them. They followed me and continued to raise their voices at what a horrible person I must be. About this time, other shoppers began glancing in my direction with suspicious glares that I had done something to them. I began seeking out a manager or store security with the two women in hot pursuit that were trying to hand me some papers to their church.

I turned around and told them not so politely to leave me alone or I would have them arrested for harassing me. They gasped as if I had done something horrible. By this time, shoppers closer to me got the idea of what was going on and an old woman came up and told the two women to leave me the hell alone or she would burn their church to the ground. :giggle:

Ah well ... it was definitely a first time for me to be approached that way.
 
kokonut said:
And those in AD don't rant, too, against "hearies"??
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There are times when I rant against hearies --- And I are one.

kokonut said:
Nothing wrong with ranting just as there was nothing wrong with posters ranting about Deaf people, too. People vent. Nothing new there.
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YES there is a difference.

When someone says, "Why the hell can't hearies leave me alone." I don't feel offended because I know I'm not included in that group of hearies. I will probably agree with the Deaf person.

But when someone says, "F... all you hearies." Then I feel miffed because I know I AM included.

Anyone who can't see the difference between, "It's my child, my decision, and the Deaf community should mind its own business" and "F.... the Deaf community," then they need an upgrade on their English comprehension.
 
FeralJunebug said:
I think that post is incredibly sad. Obviously the parents are frustrated that nothing they seem to do is completely right for either side of the fence, hearing or Deaf. The fact they felt so pushed to act out like that is just sad and the result of an over-worked, over-stressed parent who doesn't have an adequate place to vent or the right person to talk to about their concerns. Yes it seems like they're trying their best to do what's right for their child, but in the end it will be up to their child whether or not they're going to be a part of the Deaf communities, hearing communities or any combination of them. The pressure though on the parents to do 100% one way or the other just seems to be aggravating a very emotionally sensitive issue :(
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it all come down to it that people have an issue with deafness (even hearing parents with deaf children have to deal will people's attitude toward deafness which is why they feel spoken language and CI will help their children with employment and such) . Deaf people are trying to build themselves up by being proud of deaf. They want to stop the attitude of being TOO deaf or not hearing enough. We need people to change that attitude because deaf people get discriminated all the time for using signs.
 
Berry said:
There are times when I rant against hearies --- And I are one.



YES there is a difference.

When someone says, "Why the hell can't hearies leave me alone." I don't feel offended because I know I'm not included in that group of hearies. I will probably agree with the Deaf person.

But when someone says, "F... all you hearies." Then I feel miffed because I know I AM included.

Anyone who can't see the difference between, "It's my child, my decision, and the Deaf community should mind its own business" and "F.... the Deaf community," then they need an upgrade on their English comprehension.
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I made it clear that it's the getting beyond the ranting/venting when one does it constantly. This guy, he ranted once and vented his frustration and disgust. He regretted what he said against the Deaf community. Or did you not see that one, too? I can certainly tell you one person who has done this against "hearies" almost on a daily/regular basis using the words "f*ck 'em" over on the internet for the world to see. And never regretted it but certainly made the Deaf community look like a bunch of a-holes. Perception is everything but it doesn't mean it's the truth. I don't fault the guy for venting. He had his moment. He was sorry about it.
 
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I "rant" about my hearie hubby, like how I hate when I don't hear hubby come into the kitchen and break several dishes. Real vitriol against hearies, huh? lol
 
kokonut said:
I made it clear that it's gets beyond ranting/venting when one does it constantly. This guy, he ranted once and vented his frustration and disgust. He regretted what he said against the Deaf community. Or did you not see that one, too? I can certainly tell you one person who has done this against "hearies" almost on a daily/regular basis using the words "f*ck 'em" over on the internet for the world to see. And never regretted it but certainly made the Deaf community look like a bunch of a-holes. Perception is everything but it doesn't mean it's the truth. I don't fault the guy for venting. He had his moment. He was sorry about it.
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I don't fault him for venting either. There is a way to vent without saying "fuck you" every 5 seconds, though. Venting in terms of expressing feelings and not blaming others tends to work better for all involved anyway.
 
kokonut said:
AD had a dedicated thread ranting against "hearies" two years ago.
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then why open up ANOTHER one? You can just read that thread yourself.
 
shel90 said:
And we deaf people get told by hearing people that we should get CIs, improve ourselves, that our lives would be better if we could speak and the list gooooeees on.

We learned to deal with it and so should you.
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shel said it well with a valid point. that's what i was trying to make a valid point but, shel got right on the nail.
 
lol. lol. lol.

why am I lol'ing, you ask me?

because "I" talk in my video and post it on deaf video site and say "hey - why you mad? It's captioned."
 
Frisky Feline said:
shel said it well with a valid point. that's what i was trying to make a valid point but, shel got right on the nail.
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If someone wants to attack ME - call me fat, ugly, stupid, whatever - that's fine. I'm a big girl and can take it. However, when they turn on my kids, sometimes addressing them directly, and say that I don't love them and want them to be retarded, I have a problem with that. I'll buck up and turn the other cheek UNTIL they involve my kids. When a person implies that I am irreparably harming my child by the choices I've made regarding her hearing loss just shows what a petty, uneducated waste of skin they are. They don't have to agree with me, but they better have enough sense to disagree politely and leave my kids out of it.

I have had this happen, people squat down to my child and tell/sign to them that "Mommy must not love you if she won't fix your ears", "If mommy would stop flapping her hands and talk to you, you'd be fine" and "It's so sad you'll never be a big girl and learn to talk like a normal person". Even got a "It's bad enough you're deaf, and now you'll be a retard, too." TO my child's face! Thankfully, my deaf child is oblivious, but my hearing child hears every word of it. We protect our children from child bullies, but we're not allowed to feel bad when an adult does it?

On that matter, why shouldn't we parents/adults feel bad when we're attacked by someone in this way? Just because you've gotten over it, doesn't mean we have.Most of us are new to the d/Deaf culture war. I've only been at it for 3 years while you've been dealing with it since you were little. Does coming of age mean we can't be bullied anymore or just feel bad about it? It only compounds by EONS when your child is brought into the equation.
 
WeeBeastie said:
If someone wants to attack ME - call me fat, ugly, stupid, whatever - that's fine. I'm a big girl and can take it. However, when they turn on my kids, sometimes addressing them directly, and say that I don't love them and want them to be retarded, I have a problem with that. I'll buck up and turn the other cheek UNTIL they involve my kids. When a person implies that I am irreparably harming my child by the choices I've made regarding her hearing loss just shows what a petty, uneducated waste of skin they are. They don't have to agree with me, but they better have enough sense to disagree politely and leave my kids out of it.

I have had this happen, people squat down to my child and tell/sign to them that "Mommy must not love you if she won't fix your ears", "If mommy would stop flapping her hands and talk to you, you'd be fine" and "It's so sad you'll never be a big girl and learn to talk like a normal person". Even got a "It's bad enough you're deaf, and now you'll be a retard, too." TO my child's face! Thankfully, my deaf child is oblivious, but my hearing child hears every word of it. We protect our children from child bullies, but we're not allowed to feel bad when an adult does it?

On that matter, why shouldn't we parents/adults feel bad when we're attacked by someone in this way? Just because you've gotten over it, doesn't mean we have.Most of us are new to the d/Deaf culture war. I've only been at it for 3 years while you've been dealing with it since you were little. Does coming of age mean we can't be bullied anymore or just feel bad about it? It only compounds by EONS when your child is brought into the equation.
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Exactly. Good post! The hearing father had it with the insults toward him, his wife and the making fun of his daughter, too. So, I can understand his venting at the heat of the moment. He even had enough wisdom to realize what he said and regretted it. He's human yet people are still faulting him for it instead of forgiving him. How many people here actually forgave him for what he said after he admitted his own fault to the matter? That'd be an interesting response to observe here.

Hmmm......
 
kokonut said:
Exactly. Good post! The hearing father had it with the insults toward him, his wife and the making fun of his daughter, too. So, I can understand his venting at the heat of the moment. He even had enough wisdom to realize what he said and regretted it. He's human yet people are still faulting him for it instead of forgiving him. How many people here actually forgave him for what he said after he admitted his own fault to the matter? That'd be an interesting response to observe here.

Hmmm......
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hmmm, WB never said "f_ck you oral deaf/HOH / proCI, you dipsh_t" She still care about their community in whole.
 
what if the deaf doesn't want it? but the parent is insisting on it?
 
A said:
hmmm, WB never said "f_ck you oral deaf/HOH / proCI, you dipsh_t" She still care about their community in whole.
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I didn't say she did that. And that's fine if she cares about the community as a whole.
 
A said:
hmmm, WB never said "f_ck you oral deaf/HOH / proCI, you dipsh_t" She still care about their community in whole.
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I would never blame a whole group, no matter who they are, for the asshattery of a single person.
 
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