Ever walked in on your ex?

There were a couple of experiences I had, but neither were very graphic.

In one case, I was dating someone during my early 20's late teens. Foolishly, I took it upon myself to surprise her one day and give her a ride home from work since she didn't have a car at the time. Me and a friend drove up and waited in her work parking lot. Now, to be clear, we weren't exclusive or anything, but I felt pretty happy about the relationship. Anyway, after a while, she comes out the back door with some guy and starts making out with him. It was an awkward moment (for the friend that was with me, I'm sure) and I don't think I was really too mad about it. I honked the horn and got her attention and waved. The guy seemed to be pissed and storms back into the building. I can only surmise that he was seeing someone too. Needless to say, she was really pissed that I was there because I spoiled it for her.

In the other case, I went by the house of someone I had been seeing for a couple of years and saw my friends car parked in front. Given the time of the morning, you didn't have to think too hard about what was going on.

Ironically, these incidents taught me a valuable lesson. While I wasn't trying to spy on either woman, I realized that if you look for dirt you are going to find it.

So, don't sweep unless you really intend to clean house.
 
Update on me everyone, I was living with a friend for only a week but my world went upside down. I was in the center of gangland, I was living in fear to the point of not wantng to walk through my neighborhood. Woke up crying every day, there was no food except candy. I lost some weight within a matter of a week. The house felt very broken inside, a dog was tied up in the kitchen rejected (first of all if you don't want a dog why keep it???), the living room (where I was staying in for the "time being") smelled like dog pee. I couldn't take it I felt that I was starting to lose myself mentally feeling there was no way out.

The original agreement was rent for the space in the living room was $183. The ex roommate expected me to pay $300 in advanced for a room that was "opening". (what threw me off was the room belonged to her mom's ex, which were a on and off 15 yr relationship, so that alone didn't look promising to me.) I had a mental break down, I couldn't handle it and the ex-roommate was texting me non stop, to the point where my mom FINALLY said "come home". Now this "friend" is going to attempt to sue me for the $300 when I wasn't even there for a full month, only a week. I'm not on the lease, I did not sign anything only thing she has is text messages of us talking about the rent. its been a nightmare.

I'm finally living with my mom, only for a few months but at least I can focus on me now. There was no way I could with everything negative around me.

Oh I will be on regularly now :) I miss everyone!
 
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Going home to Mom sometimes can be the best remedy for all of ur problems, Lady....Sorry it didn't work out with ur friend. And my guess is that you are feeling so misplaced, overwhelmed and depressed.

Give urself a few days to rest and regroup your thoughts...One day, you will look back on all of this and make a pact to urself never to repeat it. Have you thought of going back to school?...Or even trying to get some financial aid?....Here's hoping that smooth sailing will be forthcoming.
 
I'm so glad to be back here, my only concerns is the "friend" sueing me for a $300 month rent I wasn't even there for. I was only there a week, the room wasn't even ready for me. I didn't sign the lease.
 
oh no!! So sorry to hear that!
If you didn't sign anything then nothing will hold up in court or anything.

Worst case, maybe you could give her $75... Thats the amount of time you stayed out of $300 :)

I hope you get the support you need at your mother's!
 
Since you signed no lease, there isn't much she can do. I would just offer her the $$ for the week you stayed there, that's all you owe her, And I would only do that to try to salvage the "friendship". If she won't agree, then she was not truly ur friend to begin with...I would leave all that behind and make a "fresh" start.....New friends and a new life.
 
That's what I was thinking is fair, paying her for the week but $75 wont be good enough for her she'd want the full $300. Which comes to show that money is apparently more important than friendship.
 
For all it is worth, she may have had another interested tenant who was willing to rent to, but she chose to rent to you.

If I signed a lease for $300 and left after 1 week, then I would have to suck it up and pay the $300.

I can understand that she wants $300, but she has no ground. I would let her sue me if I was me. Ok sue me.

Legally, you don't have to pay $300. Don't let anyone make you pay that $300.

Drive a hard bargain. Tell your friend that if she wants to sue you, then she will not see a penny of $75. If your friend is nice and smart, she'll take the $75. You're being nice to offer to pay $75 even though you don't have to. Your friend would be stupid to not take you on $75.
 
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Considering you haven't signed ANYTHING you don't owe her $300...

Even Judge Judy would laugh at her!!

Offering her $75 for the week you stayed there is common courtesy on your part - but if she's gonna bitch and moan about that, well she ain't worth salvaging a friendship over!
 
I actually suspect shes been abusing drugs again, pills, whatever else. Its not normal for your head to be bigger than your body. Living on no food at all (except candy) when shes pulling 2k a month. My question is why is she hurting on rent so bad? Something doesn't add up, that's also partly why I bailed. I was crying trying to get over to the move and separation of my ex and she just handed me pills and said "here these will make you feel better" they were my motrin, but seriously???
 
ladysolitary85 said:
I'm so glad to be back here, my only concerns is the "friend" sueing me for a $300 month rent I wasn't even there for. I was only there a week, the room wasn't even ready for me. I didn't sign the lease.
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Your friend is actually taking you to court over $300? Especially when she misled you as to what you would be getting for that $300/month?

Did you get a letter from her lawyer or the court? If not, there's absolutely nothing she can do about it since you didn't sign anything and she's probably smart enough to know that any legal action would backfire on her once you give testimony to the condition of her apartment, animal cruelty and your suspicions of her being involved in drugs. Ignore her 100%. don't answer her emails or txt messages.
 
Pretty much what I'm doing now. At least I'm home with my mom even if its only a few months I can breathe again. I can actually focus on myself and think of the things I want to do with my life :)

and Kalima, my mom loves that book you suggested to me so much she wanted to buy it for me :D
 
DeafCaroline said:
Your friend is actually taking you to court over $300? Especially when she misled you as to what you would be getting for that $300/month?

Did you get a letter from her lawyer or the court? If not, there's absolutely nothing she can do about it since you didn't sign anything and she's probably smart enough to know that any legal action would backfire on her once you give testimony to the condition of her apartment, animal cruelty and your suspicions of her being involved in drugs. Ignore her 100%. don't answer her emails or txt messages.
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This. Tell your "friend" to pound sand and stop talking to her. She's toxic.
 
Call cops on her for neglience and abuse. That poor dog deserves a loving home instead of your so called friend's crappy house.

The original agreement was rent for the space in the living room was $183. The ex roommate expected me to pay $300 in advanced for a room that was "opening".

Screw her. She will lose if she sues you for $300 because of no lease agreement paper. Your so called friend is stupid ass. Not worth your time and headaches.
 
I'm just going to ignore her and live my life. My mom is giving me the importunity to live rent free for a few months as long as I'm saving money :) I have another co-worker who offered his room for $85 a month but I'm going to be smart and visit the area and place first. It's a 1 bed apt and hes willing to camp in the living room for my help on $85 a month. Still makes you wonder why its so cheap. Not going to jump without looking ever again.
 
ladysolitary85 said:
I'm just going to ignore her and live my life. My mom is giving me the importunity to live rent free for a few months as long as I'm saving money :) I have another co-worker who offered his room for $85 a month but I'm going to be smart and visit the area and place first. It's a 1 bed apt and hes willing to camp in the living room for my help on $85 a month. Still makes you wonder why its so cheap. Not going to jump without looking ever again.
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That's playing it smart. Many times, there are "strings attached." Where I live, a room is usually $100.00 a week Would be nice if you could afford a 1BR by urself, have no worries about other people being messy, nasty, drunk, drugs...etc., etc.
 
ladysolitary85 said:
Pretty much what I'm doing now. At least I'm home with my mom even if its only a few months I can breathe again. I can actually focus on myself and think of the things I want to do with my life :)

and Kalima, my mom loves that book you suggested to me so much she wanted to buy it for me :D
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Hhahaha awesome!!!

When you get a chance, buy the other 2 books books by the same dude!

Well I'm glad things are looking up for you, shame you had to find out about these "friend/bf" people's true colours the hard way!! But just think, you're better off knowing about them now, you'll be stronger in the long run.

Your mum is so generous.. I think you should stay with your mum long enough to find a place on your own.

I think it's weird a co-worker is willing to sleep on the couch for you to rent the room... Thats a bit dodge really! You don't offer to rent somewhere unless you have room to rent... Weird!!!

Anywho, shame you don't live in Perth, Australia - could've stayed with me hahaha
 
Kalima, if I ever get the chance to go to Australia we must get together!

Yea I'm not going to jump without looking again.
 
rockin'robin said:
That's playing it smart. Many times, there are "strings attached." Where I live, a room is usually $100.00 a week Would be nice if you could afford a 1BR by urself, have no worries about other people being messy, nasty, drunk, drugs...etc., etc.
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That's why I prefer to live alone in $1200 a month 2 bedroom apartment with my furry kid, Hudson. I live alone in peace.
 
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