Ever feel so alone even thou you are married?

Defee ...

I hope you don't mind me putting up an uplifting article I received via e-mail -


"It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him look at his watch, and decided since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him for five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be".
 
Matilda said:
Defee ...

I hope you don't mind me putting up an uplifting article I received via e-mail -


"It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him look at his watch, and decided since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him for five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be".
Click to expand...

Awww, thats so beautiful!! Thats how devoted he is to his wife
and he is a rare gem, too!

Thanks for sharing this wonderful and inspiring story with us,
Matilda
 
Defee said:
Awww, thats so beautiful!! Thats how devoted he is to his wife
and he is a rare gem, too!

Thanks for sharing this wonderful and inspiring story with us,
Matilda
Click to expand...

You're welcome! :)
 
Matilda said:
No, my hubby & I do mostly everything together ... go out shopping, cooking, household chores, holidays, watch most TV programs and have great conversations.

Of course, we give each other 'space' every now and again where we go on our own computer/lap-top in different rooms, or I might do some laundry/ironing while he does the car maintenance/mowing lawn. :)
Click to expand...

Ditto -

I go away for the weekends with girlfriends for break sometimes... I would say twice or three time a year. I do my hobbies as the same as he do his hobbies.

My hubby and his mates will go off for the weekends to visit their Spa friend this October. It does us good for break...

I have no time to think about "lonely" - I have something to do to get "lonely" off...

 
Well, it is sometime nice to be alone with friends to keep my low profile. Otherwise, I recently promote a new position, work too many hours to focus on paperwork to make sure I did task due of those paperwork. I drove home, saw other couple hands holding and kissing at the park, beach or sidewalk. Naturally, I desire to have one as fun and company. I do not know, what is the romantic looking like since I become widow.

However, I work many hours significantly make me depress and lonely. I do miss the fun socialize as balance in my life. I usually came home at midnight and woke up at 5am. Saw a beautiful flowers, tree and sun outside. I do miss the environment so much as balance in my life with friends or family.

Relationship sometime pain in the neck but we have to accept for who he is. ;)

Do not have to married or a serious relationship... Can be a friend as dating... There is a very rare man out there who willing be friend more than anything else. I hardly am willing date with a guy nowadays because they are not my type in my area. :( I like one guy very much. Unforunately, the long distance relationship would not work.

I try so hard to be not too picky around the guys. I do miss how beautiful romantic ever I see in the movies or public. I am out of practice! ;) I am worried being a lonely when I become 70’s or 80’s years old.
 
Gemma said:
Unfortunately this is much more prevalent than you think it is. It is not strange - it is out there more than we realize.


I do realize that every one of us cannot always be in tight connection with that particular significant other but we can keep working on connection. Some simply give up and live together yet lead seperate lives, whether it be emotionally, mentally, spirituality and physically. For me, I cant accept that.
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Yes, exactly how I feel about long distance relationship. It significant me emotionally and depress. I realize, I need to focus on my life and take a good care of myself. I could not take this anymore either.
 
Kalista said:
I strongly recommend you to wear purple lingeries to get him attention ! :naughty:
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LOL! good idea if it would work with him..heh!
He is not in good health so therefore he is
real depressed and unhappy about it..that is
why our relationship has changed. Dr did give
him Zoloft and Xanax for his anxiety and all but
dont guess they are working for him..
We used to have a great relationship, have great
conversations, go places/vacations together but
no more..he says its not me, its him so that is what
im trying to say about being lonely in a marriage..
Right now he is gone and has been a week
with no contact but i do know he is somewhere in
Buffalo.
Please i dont need any pity or anything from you guys..
im ok, really. Just pray for me and my hubby, most of all.
thanks guys!
 
Defee said:
LOL! good idea if it would work with him..heh!
He is not in good health so therefore he is
real depressed and unhappy about it..that is
why our relationship has changed. Dr did give
him Zoloft and Xanax for his anxiety and all but
dont guess they are working for him..
We used to have a great relationship, have great
conversations, go places/vacations together but
no more..he says its not me, its him so that is what
im trying to say about being lonely in a marriage..
Right now he is gone and has been a week
with no contact but i do know he is somewhere in
Buffalo.
Please i dont need any pity or anything from you guys..
im ok, really. Just pray for me and my hubby, most of all.
thanks guys!
Click to expand...

U arent the only one..a few of my friends are in marriages like that where they feel very lonely and unloved. (not that u are unloved).

In my previous marriage, I didnt feel lonely because I lied to myself about how bad my marriage was. I actually convinced myself, if u can believe that.

My current marriage, I do not feel lonely. *knock on wood* Anything can change in the future so I just enjoy each day.

Hope things will improve.
 
Kalista said:
Well, it is sometime nice to be alone with friends to keep my low profile. Otherwise, I recently promote a new position, work too many hours to focus on paperwork to make sure I did task due of those paperwork. I drove home, saw other couple hands holding and kissing at the park, beach or sidewalk. Naturally, I desire to have one as fun and company. I do not know, what is the romantic looking like since I become widow.

However, I work many hours significantly make me depress and lonely. I do miss the fun socialize as balance in my life. I usually came home at midnight and woke up at 5am. Saw a beautiful flowers, tree and sun outside. I do miss the environment so much as balance in my life with friends or family.

Relationship sometime pain in the neck but we have to accept for who he is. ;)

Do not have to married or a serious relationship... Can be a friend as dating... There is a very rare man out there who willing be friend more than anything else. I hardly am willing date with a guy nowadays because they are not my type in my area. :( I like one guy very much. Unforunately, the long distance relationship would not work.

I try so hard to be not too picky around the guys. I do miss how beautiful romantic ever I see in the movies or public. I am out of practice! ;) I am worried being a lonely when I become 70’s or 80’s years old.
Click to expand...


And I can understand cuz your and Andrew's love was so strong and powerful which can make it harder for you to find the same kind of love. I dont think any guy can measure up to Andrew. However, u do deserve to find someone but maybe a different kind of love?
 
cabaca said:
If I feel lonely I'd tell & discuss with my hubby about it. And go on a "date" like dinner & movie or attend an event/festival/museum. If still feel lonely, I go do something that I enjoy to do by myself, i.e., painting, reading, flyfishfing, watch a movie, or work in backyard tend my flowers and roses, whichever I feel like. Or grab a friend and chat, chat & chat!!

I don't need to depend on my hubby for happiness. I have to be happy and enjoy within myself and have a relationship with heavenly Father. My hubby & respect each other for our own space and need time together, too. Been married since Jan 2008 after being together for 2 years. ;)
Click to expand...

Going on those "dates" can be very very vital to the marriage. My hubby and I went on a "date" 3 weeks ago and I paid for everything...our first one in over a year. Oh we had the best night for this year ever! We broke some lamps later on that night if u get what I mean. LOL!

Why not make a "date" with your hubby like once a month or even once every 3 months?
 
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