Hi all, this is my first time in the forum. I am the hearing owner of a congenitally deaf dog, Haven.
I've been pretty active in the deaf-dog community for the past six years. I knew that I didn't know much about Deaf culture for people, but I thought I was pretty well connected with the deaf dog community and that I generally knew the etiquette.
I spend a lot of time talking to other deaf dog owners about living with deaf dogs, especially consulting about deaf-dog specific training (I am a professional dog trainer). I network with rescues to promote the adoption of deaf dogs. I take my deaf dog to pet stores and talk to hearing dog owners about deaf dogs. I advocate for changes to policies which exclude deaf dogs (the American Kennel Club and Therapy Dogs International are probably the most familiar names. TDI has finally allowed deaf dogs to participate; AKC still does not).
I guess the point is that I'm trying and it's important to me.
In a recent post in a dog community, I referred to my deaf dog Haven as "my beloved deafie." Afterward, someone approached me privately to say that "deafie" is a pejorative term and shouldn't ever be used by a hearing person because it can be very offensive.
This startled me. I've been calling Haven "deafie" as a term of endearment since she was a tiny puppy. I've said it every day for six years. The term is everywhere in the deaf dog groups (where the vast majority of the owners are hearing). And no one has ever mentioned that it's a potentially uncomfortable term. For that matter, I picked up the term in the first place from a Deaf person who was referring to herself as a deafie in a lighthearted way. I just assumed it was safe/okay, and I generally use it in that same lighthearted, affectionate way. I've never heard it used as a slur.
After we talked more, the person who objected to my use of the term said that she guessed it was okay since Haven is a dog and can't be offended by it herself. But now I can't stop thinking about it, because it is everywhere in the deaf dog community. I know the dog can't be offended by it herself, but I also don't want to passively promote offensive speech by using it (for example, someone hearing me call Haven my deafie and then using that phrase to talk about a Deaf friend).
Is it actually offensive?
Would it still be offensive in the context of a hearing person talking (positively or neutrally) about their deaf dog?
Would it make a difference whether the audience was other deaf dog owners or the general public?
Are there other terms like that which I might be using as a person who is not involved in the Deaf community but talks about deafness a reasonable amount in the context of deaf dogs?
I've been pretty active in the deaf-dog community for the past six years. I knew that I didn't know much about Deaf culture for people, but I thought I was pretty well connected with the deaf dog community and that I generally knew the etiquette.
I spend a lot of time talking to other deaf dog owners about living with deaf dogs, especially consulting about deaf-dog specific training (I am a professional dog trainer). I network with rescues to promote the adoption of deaf dogs. I take my deaf dog to pet stores and talk to hearing dog owners about deaf dogs. I advocate for changes to policies which exclude deaf dogs (the American Kennel Club and Therapy Dogs International are probably the most familiar names. TDI has finally allowed deaf dogs to participate; AKC still does not).
I guess the point is that I'm trying and it's important to me.
In a recent post in a dog community, I referred to my deaf dog Haven as "my beloved deafie." Afterward, someone approached me privately to say that "deafie" is a pejorative term and shouldn't ever be used by a hearing person because it can be very offensive.
This startled me. I've been calling Haven "deafie" as a term of endearment since she was a tiny puppy. I've said it every day for six years. The term is everywhere in the deaf dog groups (where the vast majority of the owners are hearing). And no one has ever mentioned that it's a potentially uncomfortable term. For that matter, I picked up the term in the first place from a Deaf person who was referring to herself as a deafie in a lighthearted way. I just assumed it was safe/okay, and I generally use it in that same lighthearted, affectionate way. I've never heard it used as a slur.
After we talked more, the person who objected to my use of the term said that she guessed it was okay since Haven is a dog and can't be offended by it herself. But now I can't stop thinking about it, because it is everywhere in the deaf dog community. I know the dog can't be offended by it herself, but I also don't want to passively promote offensive speech by using it (for example, someone hearing me call Haven my deafie and then using that phrase to talk about a Deaf friend).
Is it actually offensive?
Would it still be offensive in the context of a hearing person talking (positively or neutrally) about their deaf dog?
Would it make a difference whether the audience was other deaf dog owners or the general public?
Are there other terms like that which I might be using as a person who is not involved in the Deaf community but talks about deafness a reasonable amount in the context of deaf dogs?
Wow! You really worry a lot. I am deaf, and I rescue deaf dogs too.
