Emma's rights

CJB said:
Unfortunately children's opinions are rarely considered, especially in legal situations. :(

That's really what this is about, is that a child's opinion is often considered second or inferior to an adult's opinion, even when it's regarding their own body. It makes sense up to a certain point but when a child demonstrates a certain level of understanding and self-awareness, it's important for the adults around them to start recognizing that.
Click to expand...

:gpost:...It's truly possible the CI is hurting the little girl....I dunno how old she is....but if it were my child, I would seriously sit down and converse with her in a calm manner to find out exactly what the problem is. Compromising on the CI usage should be considered also....If it's painful to her, then she should see another doctor....

MY own son hated to wear glasses and lost several pair, but I suspect he did it on purpose.... the last pair I got him, we went to several optical stores...and I let him pick out a pair that he thought was "cool"! More expensive, yes,..but now he wears them everyday.
 
I believe she is only "rejecting" her new implant. It probably sounds weird because it is new.

The kid is 7. She does not have the capacity to understand the long term ramifications of her choices. No, I wouldn't let my daughter choose not to wear her CI but I also wouldn't let her watch TV all day, eat candy and play in the snow without shoes. If I as a parent decided that hearing through a cochlear implant is the best thing for her, I can not back down because she complains. Either it is right or it isn't.

Yes, when she is old enough to understand, it will be 100% her choice, and at the "inbetween" ages (say starting at 10 or 12) she will get to have input, but at such a young age, it is not up for discussion.
 
faire_jour said:
I believe she is only "rejecting" her new implant. It probably sounds weird because it is new.

The kid is 7. She does not have the capacity to understand the long term ramifications of her choices. No, I wouldn't let my daughter choose not to wear her CI but I also wouldn't let her watch TV all day, eat candy and play in the snow without shoes. If I as a parent decided that hearing through a cochlear implant is the best thing for her, I can not back down because she complains. Either it is right or it isn't.

Yes, when she is old enough to understand, it will be 100% her choice, and at the "inbetween" ages (say starting at 10 or 12) she will get to have input, but at such a young age, it is not up for discussion.
Click to expand...

But I asked if you would be willing to compromise. Of course as a parent you can't just fall to your daughter's every whim, but at the same time, if she were visibly distressed, the "inability to understand long term ramifications" approach would only work to a certain point.

rockin'robin's example is a good one. She didn't just tell her son he can go without his glasses but she figured out a solution that made both her and her son happy.
 
FJ, where ya been? Not enough CI threads for you? :dunno2:
 
CJB said:
But I asked if you would be willing to compromise. Of course as a parent you can't just fall to your daughter's every whim, but at the same time, if she were visibly distressed, the "inability to understand long term ramifications" approach would only work to a certain point.

rockin'robin's example is a good one. She didn't just tell her son he can go without his glasses but she figured out a solution that made both her and her son happy.
Click to expand...

And I said that the first line of defense would be to make sure that everything is working perfectly. Either it is a physical, emotional or behavioral issue. If it is not physical, (which is what the audiologist would check) it would be one of the other two. Depending on which issue it is, there would be different approaches, but letting her stop wearing it would not be a choice.
 
Mrs Bucket said:
This is your parental decision and your parental right.

I disagree with your decision as a Deaf person because the long term consequences does have psychological, emotional and social damage. Usually, they are found much later on to the point it causes long term damage; the consequence of a parental decision to keep forcing this upon a child.

A simple act of involving the child in the decision making which the UN has pointed out; the child has this much right in being involved in the decision making process. This is where I believe children's thinking processes should be honoured and respected rather than being denied thinking they don't know their own-selves better than their own parents.

Those children scream, cry, break down and act out because of the artificial object attached to their bodies. It isn't hard to notice how children respond so negatively to this and parents still push this on to the children & resort to blackmailing just to have the artificial object latched onto their bodies.
Click to expand...

Mrs. B--I could have written this post myself as it so echos exactly my perspective.

The video of this poor child is hearbreaking. How anyone can watch it and still claim they are making a decision in the best interest of the child is beyond me. The damage that is being done to this child all in the name of "normalizing" her is criminal.
 
sallylou said:
Could the CI be causing sensory integration issues? My kids had SI issues and it was really important to protect them from sensory overload.
Click to expand...

It very well could be. I have seen some children react this way with HAs, as well. Reactions like this from a child are not just a clue something is wrong...it is a scream that something is wrong. It infuriates me that people ignore it.
 
faire_jour said:
And I said that the first line of defense would be to make sure that everything is working perfectly. Either it is a physical, emotional or behavioral issue. If it is not physical, (which is what the audiologist would check) it would be one of the other two. Depending on which issue it is, there would be different approaches, but letting her stop wearing it would not be a choice.[/QUOTE]

I find the bolded to be the most frightening statement I have seen in quite a while.
Click to expand...
 
jillio said:
faire_jour said:
And I said that the first line of defense would be to make sure that everything is working perfectly. Either it is a physical, emotional or behavioral issue. If it is not physical, (which is what the audiologist would check) it would be one of the other two. Depending on which issue it is, there would be different approaches, but letting her stop wearing it would not be a choice.[/QUOTE]

I find the bolded to be the most frightening statement I have seen in quite a while.
Click to expand...

Nope, not at this age. If she was older, then it would be her choice, but now, I have to do what I believe is in her best interest, long term. I do not believe that it is in her best interest to put her through surgery, give her a device that provides her benefit, and then allow her to choose not to wear it at 7 years old.
Click to expand...
 
faire_jour said:
jillio said:
Nope, not at this age. If she was older, then it would be her choice, but now, I have to do what I believe is in her best interest, long term. I do not believe that it is in her best interest to put her through surgery, give her a device that provides her benefit, and then allow her to choose not to wear it at 7 years old.
Click to expand...

And would you also be as willing to accept responsibility for the long term emotional and psychological damage done?
Click to expand...
 
jillio said:
And would you also be as willing to accept responsibility for the long term emotional and psychological damage done?
Click to expand...

Yes, of course I would. It is my job to do the best I can and make the choices I believe that will bring her the most success, opportunities, and yes, happiness, in the future.
 
faire_jour said:
And I said that the first line of defense would be to make sure that everything is working perfectly. Either it is a physical, emotional or behavioral issue. If it is not physical, (which is what the audiologist would check) it would be one of the other two. Depending on which issue it is, there would be different approaches, but letting her stop wearing it would not be a choice.
Click to expand...

I think your first line of defense makes a lot of sense. What I'm asking here though is if you'd be willing to compromise in terms of how many hours of the day she'd have to wear it.
 
faire_jour said:
Yes, of course I would. It is my job to do the best I can and make the choices I believe that will bring her the most success, opportunities, and yes, happiness, in the future.
Click to expand...

As long as you are willing to accept the damage done, then there isn't much to be said...except accepting responsibility for the damage doesn't make it any easier for the child to deal with.
 
I myself have seen a number of children at 6,7 & 8 who show more responsibility as to their own health and such that they would make the right decision and know what all the choices meant. I have seen and known 3 children who were implanted at a young age (2-4) and by the time they were 7-9, they had nothing but problems, even with re-mapping (or whatever it's called) and repeated visits to adjust the equipment. One child had parents who were divorced and the mother was the custodial parent. Father did not want the implant. Daughter at 8 just hated it it and did not want to have it. Mother was very adamant that it be worn all day while in school and at home, taking it off only at bedtime. Father went to court regarding the situation, judge heard both parents, then questioned the child and all medical personnel involved. It was the judges decision, that everything was done properly as far as trying to make it work for the child and obviously it wasn't, so the judge said the child did not have to use the implant unless she wanted. This child is now 15, and still does not wear it and is very happy and well adjusted. Has a part-time job and doing well. The child is mainstreamed with an interpreter and in the top of the class.

I'm not saying that all children possess that level of maturity at such a young age, but it is possible. My own son was very mature when that young. He still is, but being a teen boy, would rather play the "what if..." game.
 
CJB said:
I think your first line of defense makes a lot of sense. What I'm asking here though is if you'd be willing to compromise in terms of how many hours of the day she'd have to wear it.
Click to expand...

We could discuss it.

BUT I think the issue here has nothing to do with the CI. She is in a sticky custody situation and her parents are fighting. Her mother wants the implant on and the judge agreed. Her father and grandmother are clearly against it. The child is being pulled in different directions by fighting parents. I believe that it has nothing to do with CI, but this happens to be the issue in this case. In other custody situations it is visitation, homework, rules, etc. I think that the child is showing her stress by fighting against the CI, in her father's presence, because he is against it, and she knows it.
 
KristinaB said:
I myself have seen a number of children at 6,7 & 8 who show more responsibility as to their own health and such that they would make the right decision and know what all the choices meant.
Click to expand...

Me too. It annoys me when people make blanket statements about how much a 7- (or any number) year-old understands. Each 7-year-old is different, and a lot of kids know more than we give them credit for.
 
I hope I'm not the only person here who remembers what it feels like to be 7? I just can't imagine fighting with my child over what my child wanted or didn't want attached to his or her body.

Granted, I've never been in that position, either as child or parent.....and thank God for that.
 
faire_jour said:
We could discuss it.

BUT I think the issue here has nothing to do with the CI. She is in a sticky custody situation and her parents are fighting. Her mother wants the implant on and the judge agreed. Her father and grandmother are clearly against it. The child is being pulled in different directions by fighting parents. I believe that it has nothing to do with CI, but this happens to be the issue in this case. In other custody situations it is visitation, homework, rules, etc. I think that the child is showing her stress by fighting against the CI, in her father's presence, because he is against it, and she knows it.
Click to expand...

I agree that the root of the issue has little to do with the CI. It's about a battle of wills between a child and adults around that child. At the same time, there is something to be said about the specifics of the CI situation. Wearing the CI is about one's body and mind. Emma might actually know something about her body and how her brain is processing sound (even if she can't articulate it) that even adults and doctors on the outside looking in can't know.
 
AB HighRes90K

:wave:The real issue is the second implant was the recalled AB HighRes90K. This implant has definite problems. One girl's family won over $7 million against AB for it shocking her severely several times.
It is sad to see one parent use the "Deaf" card against the other parent, claiming the deaf parent forces the child to take the implants off when that is NOT the case. The deaf parent, like any parent just doesn't like to see their child tortured and let the child decide to remove the outer processor. When one parent gets another parent out of a child's life or limits access, the future emotional health of that child is at stake. So sad.
 
Back
Top