Dont u get tired of these comments?

shel90

shel90

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A few of my deaf friends are considering getting CIs which I am very supportive cuz it is their decision and I do warn them that they will need extensive AVT therapy and they are cool about it.

However, my other friends mock them calling them "robots" "slaves to the hearing community" "not being true deaf". I tell them that is immature.

Yes, it seems like I am against CIs due to other threads but only in children. Like I have said, it is none of my business so I dont go around telling people not to implant their children even though I am not too crazy about the idea.

I just get tired of some deaf people bashing other deaf adults for their decision in getting a CI. It is like, that's their personal business and they arent abandonding the deaf community just because they get a CI.

Why do many deaf people bash other deaf adults for getting CIs. Fear or feelings of rejection?

I asked my friends who are bashing on our friends for considering CIs why they feel that way but they wont answer...puzzles me..Help me out pls!!!! I hate seeing my friends at war with each other over Cis. It is silly.
 
That is totally not cool.This is a very hard choice to make and if they were true friends they would be supportive.Slave to the hearing world? that is the silliest comment Ive ever heard.I am a late deafend adult,thats all I know.At my age I really dont want to spend years trying to learn lipreading and sign language for my only communication.This would not only affect me but my husband,son and mom would all have to learn it too. Not sure how willing or able any of us are to do that.I heard it is very difficult to learn and am glad to have the CI as an option.Which is my own personal choice, may not be for everyone,but I dont want to be bashed for it!!!!!
 
shel90 said:
Why do many deaf people bash other deaf adults for getting CIs. Fear or feelings of rejection?

I asked my friends who are bashing on our friends for considering CIs why they feel that way but they wont answer...puzzles me..Help me out pls!!!! I hate seeing my friends at war with each other over Cis. It is silly.
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I'm glad that you've encouraged your friends considering a CI to be realistic and that they would need AVT afterwards.

Yes, I'm guessing that the other friends are worried and have a fear that their friends will, upon receiving their CIs, leave your circle of friends and suddenly start to regard themselves as hearing. Maybe all the bad experiences they've had in the hearing world as they've grown up still impacts on their self esteem to the point that if friends get a CI, it's perceived as a put down of what they are?

I think that maybe some education might help them? CIs are not a cure for deafness and that even after a CI, they still are deaf people but might be able to hear sounds better than they can currently, although not like natural hearing. Also, tell them that if they continue to be negative, that this is more likely to push your friends away rather than them getting airs from being imaginary hearing.

Just because someone is proud to be deaf, it doesn't mean that they can't feel curious about what it is like to hear sounds and explore that in practice.

I think the best advertisment for deaf pride is having a quiet confidence in oneself and not needing to put down others' choices.
 
I believe the choice is theirs because they're adults and can make that decision themselves without anyone bringing them down, should be more supportive for one another.

Maybe those friends are fear that this friend who wants a cochlear implant will not be a friend to them anymore after this friend gets a cochlear implant, there's some people like that out there.

I've had a friend who had a cochlear implant and stopped talking to me all together, she got annoyed with me calling her through the relay, and prefer to talk to someone directly instead of through a third party, I guess you could say she with draw herself out of the Deaf Community, and involved herself more in the hearing world, It's her loss, because she wasn't a true friend I thought she was.
 
Cheri said:
I believe the choice is theirs because they're adults and can make that decision themselves without anyone bringing them down, should be more supportive for one another.

Maybe those friends are fear that this friend who wants a cochlear implant will not be a friend to them anymore after this friend gets a cochlear implant, there's some people like that out there.

I've had a friend who had a cochlear implant and stopped talking to me all together, she got annoyed with me calling her through the relay, and prefer to talk to someone directly instead of through a third party, I guess you could say she with draw herself out of the Deaf Community, and involved herself more in the hearing world, It's her loss, because she wasn't a true friend I thought she was.
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Hmmm..u and R2D2 have a good point. Maybe my friends who have been in the deaf community a LOT longer than I have been have experienced what u experienced with your friend who got a CI.

It just gets so old. I used to be like that when I was a student at Gally..be all Deaf Power and everything but I was so new to the Deaf Culture and I was going thru an anger stage after realizing how much I missed out on growing up so I was all about HATING the hearing world and anything relating to being hearing. Now, I am past it but many of my friends are not past it. I dont want to be caught in the middle between my friends who are all about Deaf Power and my friends who are getting CIs. A few of my other friends feel the same as me..tired of this BS. LOL!
 
shel90 said:
A few of my deaf friends are considering getting CIs which I am very supportive cuz it is their decision and I do warn them that they will need extensive AVT therapy and they are cool about it.

However, my other friends mock them calling them "robots" "slaves to the hearing community" "not being true deaf". I tell them that is immature.

Yes, it seems like I am against CIs due to other threads but only in children. Like I have said, it is none of my business so I dont go around telling people not to implant their children even though I am not too crazy about the idea.

I just get tired of some deaf people bashing other deaf adults for their decision in getting a CI. It is like, that's their personal business and they arent abandonding the deaf community just because they get a CI.

Why do many deaf people bash other deaf adults for getting CIs. Fear or feelings of rejection?

I asked my friends who are bashing on our friends for considering CIs why they feel that way but they wont answer...puzzles me..Help me out pls!!!! I hate seeing my friends at war with each other over Cis. It is silly.
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I'd ignore them anyway, no wonder the deaf community is under seige these days, and memberships dwindling, everyone has an 'ism' to shout about, if only they would shout UNITY and ACCEPTANCE for all. Try telling deaf sign users they are a pain the butt and they get annoyed, works both ways. either choice is to be respected and deaf people by all, or it isn't, the deaf community hasn't any right to exception to the rule. CI users are STILL deaf, what are they on about ?
 
Passivist said:
I'd ignore them anyway, no wonder the deaf community is under seige these days, and memberships dwindling, everyone has an 'ism' to shout about, if only they would shout UNITY and ACCEPTANCE for all. Try telling deaf sign users they are a pain the butt and they get annoyed, works both ways. either choice is to be respected and deaf people by all, or it isn't, the deaf community hasn't any right to exception to the rule. CI users are STILL deaf, what are they on about ?
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Well..seeing what Cheri went thru with her friend who got a CI..maybe that is why..fear of friends abandoning friends due to getting CIs so it could be that they are rejecting those friends who are considering getting CIs to prevent from getting rejected by them later? Who knows?
 
Well, look at me. I've been deaf since birth w/ severe-profound sensinerual hearing loss in both ears. I recently got my 1st implant Thursday 'cause I haven't been able to wear a hearing aid on my right ear for 6 yrs and I miss hearing out of both ears. Plus I have a family, full of hearing people & espeically my two hearing children. I wanna hear them. I wanna be able to drive and hear them since I only wear hearing aid on the left ear so it's hard to hear the kids when driving & stuff, yanno? Despite me getting a CI, I still have pride of being Deaf. I'm very proud of being Deaf and me getting a CI isn't me trying to be hearing. It's me trying to be able to hear out of both side so I can communicate with my family better. My close deaf friends understands that and are very supportive, one even went to the hospital and my Mom who has known my friend for a long time even told my surgeon that she has a CI but stopped wearing hers years ago as it didn't work for her. He turned to her and asked her that dependong on the insurance she has, he'd love to help her out and have her come in to see him. That got her all happy. But she too, loves the fact that she's Deaf. But as a Mom, I'm sure she wishes to be able to hear her son & stuff. The Deaf friends of mine who is upset with me for getting my CI is probably upset thinking I'm gonna leave the Deaf community & end my friendships with them. Yeah right, I don't plan on doing that, ever! They will have to accept me for who I am and accept the fact that I have a CI now. :)
 
Yea, u know what I was just thinking?

I think the future deaf generation will be more accepting of CIs cuz of their exposure to other kids with CIs. Many of my students want to get CIs just to be like their friends. Totally opposite, heh?
 
shel90 said:
Yea, u know what I was just thinking?

I think the future deaf generation will be more accepting of CIs cuz of their exposure to other kids with CIs. Many of my students want to get CIs just to be like their friends. Totally opposite, heh?
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Yup. I've seen it too, more and more kids [adults too] has CI and are educating the non CI'ers about it. Like all the myths the either the non CIers or anti Ciers thinks are true but we CI'ers are educating them. So they're starting to accept the CI'ers more and more.
 
I don't like CI's but I've nothing against the people who have them. I don't think this is the case for all deaf who are anti CI. My friend K had a CI and it didn't do her much good but it didn't stop this other deafblind woman
D from attacking her. When I spoke to D about it she denied it but went on to say how much she didn't like K. Said she wasn't really deafblind enough. (They were both living in special sheltered accomodation for deafblind people). They both have useful vision. It's only the hearing. K had some useful hearing with CI (but not that useful as she still prefered deafblind manual). D didn't actually say it was the CI but that was the only differance between them really as D doesn't have any useful hearing at all.

Mind you D is hardly typical of deaf community. In fact she could be very difficult. I've had to put the phone down on her a number of times myself. Sadly because of D's violence towards her K didn't feel safe so moved out. I've not heard from her since.
 
deafmama78 said:
Yup. I've seen it too, more and more kids [adults too] has CI and are educating the non CI'ers about it. Like all the myths the either the non CIers or anti Ciers thinks are true but we CI'ers are educating them. So they're starting to accept the CI'ers more and more.
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U know what just happened? One of the students asked another student who has a CI why he needs to sign if he can hear like hearing people. That student said he cant hear with his CI. So the teacher asked him what did he mean by that and he started crying saying that he cant hear like his parents. Oh boy..I guess the boy wanted to hear like his parents. That's why people need to understand that just because a child gets a CI , he is still deaf. Now, that makes me wonder..was he confused or the children confused thinking CI users are hearing and dont need sign? Another issue to think about, heh?

I forgot all about it until now. It was just interesting to see how kids react to each others' differences.
 
It is old, u know. Alike I said give them some time to accept them as they did with me for being married to hearing man. I see more and more deaf people begin to accept them having CI nowdays than before it was in 80's.
 
shel90 said:
Well..seeing what Cheri went thru with her friend who got a CI..maybe that is why..fear of friends abandoning friends due to getting CIs so it could be that they are rejecting those friends who are considering getting CIs to prevent from getting rejected by them later? Who knows?
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One of lifes lessons is the friends we had in growing up probably will not be the friends we have in our adult life. The friends we ran with in college probably will not be the same as those when we move on to jobs and families. People move on with their life and do things that interest them and find people who have those same interests. It's all part of growing up (and growing old, :))

Some friendships survive some don't. We just have to deal with it.
 
yeah, so true. I'm a bit sick of the anti-ci thing. However, I do respect those who don't want one.

I'm really glad that I can listen to music again with out that awful ringing in my ear. Music doesn't sound staticy anymore. Today, I got so distracted while listening to music that I missed two exits on my way home from my parent's home. LOL!
 
jag said:
One of lifes lessons is the friends we had in growing up probably will not be the friends we have in our adult life. The friends we ran with in college probably will not be the same as those when we move on to jobs and families. People move on with their life and do things that interest them and find people who have those same interests. It's all part of growing up (and growing old, :))

Some friendships survive some don't. We just have to deal with it.
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Oh, I know that. I have experienced that with my hearing friends. Dont keep in touch with them anymore cuz our lives are too different. What Cheri brought up was a littlbe bit different if her former friend removed herself completely from her friends in the deaf community simply because she got a CI?

I used to be friends with this girl who is oral deaf just like me back before I learned sign language. When I started learning and getting involved in the deaf community, I started telling her about it. She told me that she didnt want to hang out with me cuz she wasnt comfortable with me using sign language. Oh well.
 
jag said:
One of lifes lessons is the friends we had in growing up probably will not be the friends we have in our adult life. The friends we ran with in college probably will not be the same as those when we move on to jobs and families. People move on with their life and do things that interest them and find people who have those same interests. It's all part of growing up (and growing old, :))

Some friendships survive some don't. We just have to deal with it.
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That's so true. It also happens when we have children, some friendships don't survive that.
 
I have nearly 90% hearing loss. I've been wearing analog and digital hearing aids the most of my life plus I've had private speech therapy to learn to speak and listen to the sounds.

Cochlear Implants is not for everyone. Some people with numerous of ear infections history cannot get cochlear implants. If they decide to go ahead and put cochlear implants in their ears, sooner or later, they are going to have another ear infections that can lead to major risks. In fact, it can spread infection all the way to brain. I cannot have cochlear implants because my ears are extremely sensitive and I still get ear infections on and off. Once you have really bad infection going on in your ear and cannot make it away, the doctor will be forced to remove the implant from you. You will never hear ever again because the hair cells in your cochlear already are gone due to cochlear implant surgery.
 
I'd like to know where you get your information from? I have a CI and I have had an ear infection in the IMPLANTED ear that was treated with ear drops and I have no problem hearing with my implant! What makes you think if you get an ear infection you can't make it go away (cure it) ?
 
I have my old ear and mouth Doctors' stories and several childhood friends from the past who had cochlear implants before. One of them suffered major infection from the implant itself because his ear rejected the implant. He was forced to have his implant removed and the infection finally disappeared. Another was allergic to antibiotics, so she cannot have her implants installed.

I merely mentioned again that cochlear implants is not for everyone. Do you understand what it means? It means some cannot have cochlear implants for medical reasons. Others whose ears are healthy that are qualified to have implants installed. Read carefully. It is not about you and others having no problem hearing. There is nothing wrong with cochlear implants. I only discussed it for medical reasons.

It is not just only about ear infection. The implant can lead to the all kinds of infections and medical problems. For instance, if you have knee replacement and your doctor places metals in your knee to alleviate pain, it will improve a lot, but it will never be 100%. Sooner or later, if it is bound to give away and causes problems such as not walking normal. I have a friend who broke her thigh bone from knee replacement due to her fall two years ago. People with cochlear implants can experience minor ear infections, but they will go away on its own as long as they take antibiotics and ear drops.

I have had severe/major ear infections that caused hearing loss during my childhood. Antibiotics didn't alleviate it. I had ear tubes for nearly two years and they were bleeding out a lot. In fact, I even have scars from the infections itself. Just bring your otoscope and take a peek at mine. I still get comments from audiologists and doctors for routine check-ups and they panicked out that I was gonna have infections again. Four years ago, I had severe infection and I couldn't walk straight. I kept losing balance all the time and kept hearing horrible rings from my ear. I was forced to lay on the bed for the whole week and it was one of my boredom moments.
 
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