Do you think family members should learn ASL if you're deaf?

Tousi said:
Audio, there's something fuzzy to me about what you are saying so let's try again: The mother and father of a deaf baby should do what???

P.S. Not that I think it has anything to do with this discourse but I am a guy.....
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They should do whatever they feel is right to do, Tousi.
With all due respect, it's not your business, or mine, what they choose to do.
They may choose to sign, or they may choose to speak and point to the baby thus teaching him/her how to lipread and 'read' hearing people body language.

both of the latter, may I point out, is quite invaluable to the child who later on is forced to go out there and interact with hearing children, and hearing adults.

Either way, what matters they WILL communicate, somehow,
and the proof is right out there - plenty of non-signing parents with born deaf kids who grew up into adults while communicate quite well.

Fuzzy
 
Audio, I don't think a lot of those parents put any thought into how to fill the void for their child; many just didn't and don't care; the landscape is littered with thousands upon thousands of broken hearts. We see it all the time everywhere......you do what you want but I will speak for them.....
 
Audiofuzzy said:
They should do whatever they feel is right to do, Tousi.
With all due respect, it's not your business, or mine, what they choose to do.
They may choose to sign, or they may choose to speak and point to the baby thus teaching him/her how to lipread and 'read' hearing people body language.

both of the latter, may I point out, is quite invaluable to the child who later on is forced to go out there and interact with hearing children, and hearing adults.

Either way, what matters they WILL communicate, somehow,
and the proof is right out there - plenty of non-signing parents with born deaf kids who grew up into adults while communicate quite well.

Fuzzy
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When the research shows that non-signing deaf people who were born deaf have a higher occurrence of mental health issues we need to take action.
 
Tousi said:
Audio, I don't think a lot of those parents put any thought into how to fill the void for their child; many just didn't and don't care; the landscape is littered with thousands upon thousands of broken hearts. We see it all the time everywhere......you do what you want but I will speak for them.....
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As a terp, I've seen the difference in families where the hearing members learn to sign with the deaf members. It doesn't mean the hearing parents don't show love and involvement with their kids but it does mean a certain closeness is missing, and there is more frustration involved when attempts at communication are made.

There is nothing sadder than having to interpret between family members and seeing the looks of shock and pain when understanding finally hits. A hearing mother crying when she finally learns her deaf teen son's thoughts and feelings . . . it's heart breaking. :(

Also, it doesn't need to be an all-or-nothing communication process. If hearing parents want to speak and sign, why not?

I hate to say this but some hearing parents don't even try to learn ASL or even PSE. These days, with early intervention programs, ADA resources, and the internet there is no excuse for a parent not learn how to sign.

I don't know if it's laziness, pride, fear, social pressure, guilt, wrong advice from "experts," or whatever that hearing parents fall under that keeps them from learning to sign. Whatever it is, they need to get over it. After going thru their stages of denial and mourning they need to pick themselves up and take charge of their parenting.

All that being said, I don't see any productive point in laying guilt trips on elderly hearing parents who never learned to sign. The water under that bridge has flowed on.

The current generations can take action though.
 
Well, I certainly love your reasoned approach better than mine, Reba!! :lol:
 
Tousi said:
Audio, I don't think a lot of those parents put any thought into how to fill the void for their child; many just didn't and don't care; the landscape is littered with thousands upon thousands of broken hearts. We see it all the time everywhere......you do what you want but I will speak for them.....
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I disagree with this, my parents did not do enough b/c they did not understand what I was going through being HOH . And society and the school system did not get it either . It not that people not care some people just do not understand their child can't hear at all or are HOH . I can't understand how a hearing people can hear certain sounds that I can't hear . Yes there some parents that do not care about any of their children no matter if they're hearing or deaf. People still do not get it today , maybe it would help if deaf and hoh babies where born with instructions for hearing parents.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I disagree with this, my parents did not do enough b/c they did not understand what I was going through being HOH . And society and the school system did not get it either . It not that people not care some people just do not understand their child can't hear at all or are HOH . I can't understand how a hearing people can hear certain sounds that I can't hear . Yes there some parents that do not care about any of their children no matter if they're hearing or deaf. People still do not get it today , maybe it would help if deaf and hoh babies where born with instructions for hearing parents.
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Well, let me just say this as an example although inroads are being made in many places to educate parents of deaf children: The hospital in my hometown of Faribault, MN, population 15, 000....when a baby is born deaf, the nurse swaddles this child and approaches the mother with a radiant smile on her face and announces with glee(slight exaggeration) that the baby is deaf and in the ensuing hours and days of the mother's release from the hospital, staff provide the mother with a basic education in deafness and gives other specific resources to utilize, etc......also read Reba's response above because she touches on many areas......
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I disagree with this, my parents did not do enough b/c they did not understand what I was going through being HOH . And society and the school system did not get it either . It not that people not care some people just do not understand their child can't hear at all or are HOH . I can't understand how a hearing people can hear certain sounds that I can't hear . Yes there some parents that do not care about any of their children no matter if they're hearing or deaf. People still do not get it today , maybe it would help if deaf and hoh babies where born with instructions for hearing parents.
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Your disagreement will not deter me from saying what I think because.....what is the alternative?
 
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both. the only way to engage in conversation when my cousin's not around is by speaking
 
a l i v e said:
When the research shows that non-signing deaf people who were born deaf have a higher occurrence of mental health issues we need to take action.
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Yes, exactly - what does the research shows now ?

Fuzzy
 
Tousi said:
Audio, I don't think a lot of those parents put any thought into how to fill the void for their child; many just didn't and don't care; the landscape is littered with thousands upon thousands of broken hearts. We see it all the time everywhere......you do what you want but I will speak for them.....
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Let's keep the subject clear for now.
There is a difference between "I don't care" and "what do I chose" though..
Those who choose not to learn ASL may do it for many different reasons,
not necessarily b/c they simply do not care.


And regardless of what's behind the motivation, if you're deaf, and mute,
how would you like being forced to speak and listen with your ears?
goes both ways.

Please keep in mind while I do not deny that signing is the most favorable way of communicating for parents and deaf children,
and privately I am all for it,
not everyone is comfortable signing.

Some hearing people feel very, very awkward trying to sign, very out of their element. like I said before, you can't just force on them to use a medium they are so not comfortable with.
You may end up with a parent who hates communicating so much, he or she
(or both) simply will avoid it all the time. "anything but signing", they think..
I think it misses the whole point of bonding, don't you?

Fuzzy
 
faithy295 said:
unless you have something else to say could you please stop commenting? I honestly don't care about the facts!!
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well, unfortunately the facts are what truly matters.
anyone can say anything one wishes to, but unless there is a solid proof behind
what is being said people could be coming up with most ridiculous, unbelievable stuff we then would have to take at face value.

For example, I could insist I am Ivanka Trump, and make billions every year.
Since you don't care about the facts, I guess you have no choice but believe me :giggle:

back to being serious, I understand where your frustration is coming from.
You want your family to take you seriously and your deafness seriously.
THIS is the starting point where you should begin talking to them , and explain why it is hurting you so much when they do not make an effort learning ASL.
Explain how enormous effort for YOU is to try and understand them,
and how left out you feel whenever there is conversation going around
and you don't have a clue what's going on.

ect ect..

Fuzzy
 
Reba said:
As a terp, I've seen the difference in families where the hearing members learn to sign with the deaf members. It doesn't mean the hearing parents don't show love and involvement with their kids but it does mean a certain closeness is missing, and there is more frustration involved when attempts at communication are made.

There is nothing sadder than having to interpret between family members and seeing the looks of shock and pain when understanding finally hits. A hearing mother crying when she finally learns her deaf teen son's thoughts and feelings . . . it's heart breaking. :(

Also, it doesn't need to be an all-or-nothing communication process. If hearing parents want to speak and sign, why not?

I hate to say this but some hearing parents don't even try to learn ASL or even PSE. These days, with early intervention programs, ADA resources, and the internet there is no excuse for a parent not learn how to sign.

I don't know if it's laziness, pride, fear, social pressure, guilt, wrong advice from "experts," or whatever that hearing parents fall under that keeps them from learning to sign. Whatever it is, they need to get over it. After going thru their stages of denial and mourning they need to pick themselves up and take charge of their parenting.

All that being said, I don't see any productive point in laying guilt trips on elderly hearing parents who never learned to sign. The water under that bridge has flowed on.

The current generations can take action though.
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I agree with you Reba. Older generation, like who's now in their 60-ties, 70-ties they have a whole lotta emotional, cultural and other baggage that prevented them from learning ASL then, so I seriously doubt they'll change they way of thinking today, although one never know.

I know where we were young, when my brother was young, my parents simply were so incredibly out of place in terms of Deaf Culture, signing,
anything deaf that it was simply unthinkable to try make them sign.
It was like trying to make a very conservative, traditional Christian timid people dress and behave like a pair of hard core Goths.

Maybe, if they were exposed to other parents who signed and other children who signed that would be different, but they weren't.


Fuzzy
 
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