Do you think about your mortality?

[Cheetah]

Wirelessly posted (Backberry)

Hey Cheetah, how was the funeral? Thinking of you today.

Thanks Angel, the funeral was very nice. The family invited myself and my co-worker to the cemetary, then to the family lunch after. There were about 30 people from my work there and we were the only ones invited. I was honored beyond words. Some of his kids read their letter to their dad, it brought tears to my eyes. All in all it was a very emotional event and gave me more of a sense of closure than I've had so far. I traded emails and phone numbers with some of them.

 

[KristinaB]

Wirelessly posted (Backberry)



Thanks Angel, the funeral was very nice. The family invited myself and my co-worker to the cemetary, then to the family lunch after. There were about 30 people from my work there and we were the only ones invited. I was honored beyond words. Some of his kids read their letter to their dad, it brought tears to my eyes. All in all it was a very emotional event and gave me more of a sense of closure than I've had so far. I traded emails and phone numbers with some of them.

That sounds like a wonderful tribute all around. Glad you and your co-workers were invited and allowed to be a part of it.

 

[jillio]

Wirelessly posted (Backberry)



Thanks Angel, the funeral was very nice. The family invited myself and my co-worker to the cemetary, then to the family lunch after. There were about 30 people from my work there and we were the only ones invited. I was honored beyond words. Some of his kids read their letter to their dad, it brought tears to my eyes. All in all it was a very emotional event and gave me more of a sense of closure than I've had so far. I traded emails and phone numbers with some of them.

Allowing yourself to experience that emotion allows for closure. Trading emails and phone numbers provides you with a sense of his impact on your life carrrying on. You are dealing with this all in a very healthy manner.

 

[DeafCaroline]

Wirelessly posted (Backberry)

Ummm er, would this be too soon to be completely through the grieving process? I expected this to take longer. I'm sitting here (at the airport picking up a coworker to go to the funeral) and I feel at peace with what has happened. I looked at the 5 stages of grieving and I seemed to have skipped 3 and 4. Should I be concerned or is this normal?

Everyone deals with death differently. I lost my mother when I was 15 but I already knew she didn't have much time left to live. When her doctor told her that she didn't have much longer to live, she decided she wanted to live out her dreams before it was too late. That's how I ended up spending grade 9 in Florence, Italy. She was a major lover of art history and where better to go than the birthplace of the Renaissance?

She spent the last year of her life much happier than the 10 years prior. So when she died, it was very hard, of course but I dealt with it ok then boom! 4 months later, I saw a woman walking down the street who looked like my mother and wore a coat that was just like my mother's. Without thinking, I said 'mom? is that you?" and that was when it hit me how profoundly I missed her and how profoundly I wanted her back. I grieved more that day than I did at her funeral. Grief is funny that way.

You mentioned how someone's death made you think about mortality and not wanting to wait to do what you want. I was inspired by my mother living out her dreams but it took the death of my father nearly 3 years ago to propel me into doing something about living my dreams. At his memorial, I was stunned to find out that my father had been a very generous kind man. I knew he was a good man but not how good until all these people came up to me and told me stories about how he helped them and I was blown away. My father never said a word about his generosity and compassion. In fact, I didn't even know until the memorial that my father defied the Canadian government and helped dozens of people get out of Iraq during the Iraq/Iran war, he organized their escapes and made sure they got home safely. He was heavily chastised for it but he didn't care. There were people who desperately needed help and he was there for them. And Iraq was just one example of his valour.

My mother living out her dreams and my father being a tremendously caring and pro-active citizens, they've inspired me, through their dying and deaths to live out my dreams of traveling and doing volunteer work.

Death has a way of reminding you that life is finite and there's no better time than right now to make the most of it while you can.

 

[jillio]

Everyone deals with death differently. I lost my mother when I was 15 but I already knew she didn't have much time left to live. When her doctor told her that she didn't have much longer to live, she decided she wanted to live out her dreams before it was too late. That's how I ended up spending grade 9 in Florence, Italy. She was a major lover of art history and where better to go than the birthplace of the Renaissance?

She spent the last year of her life much happier than the 10 years prior. So when she died, it was very hard, of course but I dealt with it ok then boom! 4 months later, I saw a woman walking down the street who looked like my mother and wore a coat that was just like my mother's. Without thinking, I said 'mom? is that you?" and that was when it hit me how profoundly I missed her and how profoundly I wanted her back. I grieved more that day than I did at her funeral. Grief is funny that way.

You mentioned how someone's death made you think about mortality and not wanting to wait to do what you want. I was inspired by my mother living out her dreams but it took the death of my father nearly 3 years ago to propel me into doing something about living my dreams. At his memorial, I was stunned to find out that my father had been a very generous kind man. I knew he was a good man but not how good until all these people came up to me and told me stories about how he helped them and I was blown away. My father never said a word about his generosity and compassion. In fact, I didn't even know until the memorial that my father defied the Canadian government and helped dozens of people get out of Iraq during the Iraq/Iran war, he organized their escapes and made sure they got home safely. He was heavily chastised for it but he didn't care. There were people who desperately needed help and he was there for them. And Iraq was just one example of his valour.

My mother living out her dreams and my father being a tremendously caring and pro-active citizens, they've inspired me, through their dying and deaths to live out my dreams of traveling and doing volunteer work.

Death has a way of reminding you that life is finite and there's no better time than right now to make the most of it while you can.

What a wonderful legacy your mother has left the world in the form of her daughter.

 

[deafskeptic]

Everyone deals with death differently. I lost my mother when I was 15 but I already knew she didn't have much time left to live. When her doctor told her that she didn't have much longer to live, she decided she wanted to live out her dreams before it was too late. That's how I ended up spending grade 9 in Florence, Italy. She was a major lover of art history and where better to go than the birthplace of the Renaissance?

She spent the last year of her life much happier than the 10 years prior. So when she died, it was very hard, of course but I dealt with it ok then boom! 4 months later, I saw a woman walking down the street who looked like my mother and wore a coat that was just like my mother's. Without thinking, I said 'mom? is that you?" and that was when it hit me how profoundly I missed her and how profoundly I wanted her back. I grieved more that day than I did at her funeral. Grief is funny that way.

You mentioned how someone's death made you think about mortality and not wanting to wait to do what you want. I was inspired by my mother living out her dreams but it took the death of my father nearly 3 years ago to propel me into doing something about living my dreams. At his memorial, I was stunned to find out that my father had been a very generous kind man. I knew he was a good man but not how good until all these people came up to me and told me stories about how he helped them and I was blown away. My father never said a word about his generosity and compassion. In fact, I didn't even know until the memorial that my father defied the Canadian government and helped dozens of people get out of Iraq during the Iraq/Iran war, he organized their escapes and made sure they got home safely. He was heavily chastised for it but he didn't care. There were people who desperately needed help and he was there for them. And Iraq was just one example of his valour.

My mother living out her dreams and my father being a tremendously caring and pro-active citizens, they've inspired me, through their dying and deaths to live out my dreams of traveling and doing volunteer work.

Death has a way of reminding you that life is finite and there's no better time than right now to make the most of it while you can.

I think your family is an inspiring one.

 

[TXgolfer]

How do you know it's pretty good? You've never had it evaluated.

More jumping to conclusions?

 

[jillio]

More jumping to conclusions?

Nope. Showing that you jumped to the conclusion that it was pretty good without ever having it appraised. What was that about waitng for facts and confirmation again?

 

[TXgolfer]

Nope. Showing that you jumped to the conclusion that it was pretty good without ever having it appraised. What was that about waitng for facts and confirmation again?

You are assuming I haven't let people read my writing. But it doesn't matter really. My writing may be total crap.....still a fun hobby.

 

[rolling7]

I don't need to look them up; you broke the rules. Keep going. Please.

And thanks a lot for derailing this thread multiple times. You are a very popular guy around here.

As if YOUR posting about writing a book does not derail this thread. You are 4X more popular than me.

 

[jillio]

You are assuming I haven't let people read my writing. But it doesn't matter really. My writing may be total crap.....still a fun hobby.

Well, let's see. You said none of it was published, so that means that either a publisher has not read it or a publisher did read it and rejected it for publication. Then you also said it was "just for you."

But hey, no matter. You could always post something here, as Alex suggested. We have more than one writer on AD. I have had several students send me papers they wanted me to take a look at and make suggestions, and a couple of others who have sent me creative writing pieces to read. It is always cool to see the different styles of writing and the ways in which personality comes through in the creative pieces. In fact, I am currently reading a very good novel written by an AD member. He is a talented writer, indeed.

 

[jillio]

As if YOUR posting about writing a book does not derail this thread. You are 4X more popular than me.

Orderlies! Meds are wearing off again. Time to administer.

 

[TXgolfer]

Well, let's see. You said none of it was published, so that means that either a publisher has not read it or a publisher did read it and rejected it for publication. Then you also said it was "just for you."

Yes "I write for me" meaning not for profit. Surprisingly, people other than publishers read......but then you note that in the next quote.

But hey, no matter. You could always post something here, as Alex suggested. We have more than one writer on AD. I have had several students send me papers they wanted me to take a look at and make suggestions, and a couple of others who have sent me creative writing pieces to read. It is always cool to see the different styles of writing and the ways in which personality comes through in the creative pieces. In fact, I am currently reading a very good novel written by an AD member. He is a talented writer, indeed.

I'm not interested.....but I hope you enjoy the novel you are reading.

 

[jillio]

Yes "I write for me" meaning not for profit. Surprisingly, people other than publishers read......but then you note that in the next quote.





I'm not interested.....but I hope you enjoy the novel you are reading.

I am enjoying it very much. I was flattered that it was shared with me.

 

[Cheetah]

We write for many different reasons and for many different audiences. My personal writings is really just a notebook of rumblings, not something i want to be remembered for. Then there is the "serious" writing that i do for other people. Subjects I feel like I want to I have my say in. I don't have anything published. I think I am a good writer, but I am biased. Of course i like what I write, if I didn't like it, I don't write it.

One of my serious writings is on hold because right now my mood would be way too dark for it. This one I hope is the one I will finally get published. As I get further along I might share some of it here. But for now, I say it's good, therefore it's good enough for me. And no, I've never submitted anything for publish.

One day I will look back on today's experience and write something about it. But for today, my letter is all I am going to write. My focuse is on my dear friend.

 

[jillio]

We write for many different reasons and for many different audiences. My personal writings is really just a notebook of rumblings, not something i want to be remembered for. Then there is the "serious" writing that i do for other people. Subjects I feel like I want to I have my say in. I don't have anything published. I think I am a good writer, but I am biased. Of course i like what I write, if I didn't like it, I don't write it.

One of my serious writings is on hold because right now my mood would be way too dark for it. This one I hope is the one I will finally get published. As I get further along I might share some of it here. But for now, I say it's good, therefore it's good enough for me. And no, I've never submitted anything for publish.

One day I will look back on today's experience and write something about it. But for today, my letter is all I am going to write. My focuse is on my dear friend.

I encourage many of my clients to journal. It is really a cathartic experience. If one was to worry about others reading this type of writing, it would defeat the need to let things out without fear of judgement.

I would look forward to you sharing it. And you are absolutely correct. Your mood will come across even if you try to not let it affect your writing. The letter was probably one of the most important things you will ever write.

 

[audiodef]

I know what I will do now... I will write something for my friend. That will allow me to grieve in the only way I know how. I've never been afraid of my own death. I'm just afraid of having a meaningless death. I want my life to count for something. I guess I also want to be remembered. I want someone's life to be better because I was there.

Except for my father's parents and my mother's adopted father, I never experienced death in a big way. I've never lost someone I was very close to, but now that I'm older, the thought occurs to me from time to time of the inevitability of losing those I love, especially my elders.

But I had a different kind of experience that motivates me to put a little something into every day of my life to answer the question "why am I here?" Having survived spousal abuse (and "survived" is the correct word), every day, month and year reveals to me how much is wrong with the way the society I live in views domestic violence, so I try to add a little something toward the effort of making life a little better for myself and other survivors of domestic violence of a particular demographic.

Also, having been barred by discrimination from continuing in my former career, I adopted my dream job full-time and produce works of music. I do it because it is my karma, but every time someone tells me they enjoyed one of my shows, sets or songs, it really makes my day. It says "I was here, and I made someone else forget the pedestrian humdrum of it all, even if for a few minutes".

 

[Cheetah]

Hey audiodef, I don't thi k I ever got a chance to welcome you (I now avoid the introduction threads). So.... Welcome!

I agree, we as a society deal with abuse, bullies, and other harmful activity in two ways.. Either we ignore it or we over react to it. We need something better.

For now, I write about it. Hopefully it will raise our awareness a bit.

 

[sallylou]

I'm at the place in my life where I'm dealing with the mortality of parents and parent figures. I really wish that I could talk to them about it. It's always the elephant in the room. Sometimes, my MIL talks about me inheriting her silverware and such. I want to talk about what really matters (not stuff).

I think about my own mortality. I almost didn't make it as a newborn, and that really influences how I look at my life. I feel grateful for having so much.

 

[audiodef]

Hey audiodef, I don't thi k I ever got a chance to welcome you (I now avoid the introduction threads). So.... Welcome!

I agree, we as a society deal with abuse, bullies, and other harmful activity in two ways.. Either we ignore it or we over react to it. We need something better.

For now, I write about it. Hopefully it will raise our awareness a bit.

Thanks for the welcome. I looked at the introduction forum and it looked like a jumble of random stuff.

Thanks for recommending this site. I find it increasingly difficult to make friends as I get older (along with mostly not caring as long as I have a handful of people to see now and then so I don't end up living in my head), so it's good to find new communities and try to see who else is out there.